It can be overwhelming... conflicting, complicated and all consuming. 

Conflicting - Exciting and terrifying

Complicated - We are not just making decisions for ourselves, it effects my kids... potentially my ex.

All consuming - Making room to do this means I am sacrificing another area and I am already spread thin.

NOT TO MENTION finding a mate /or not is probably the biggest decision we will have to make.

3 elements to factor in as we consider dating again.

1. Identify where I am - self awareness

Name you fears, it brings freedom - with awareness brings healing

Name your feeling - its ok to be excited as much as afraid

Who am I - am I someone that someone would want to date?

What work do I still need to do?

What are scars - Replace the word 'baggage' with 'bonus'

What are hopes?

Give lots of grace - see this is not a one shot chance

2. Define what you are looking for, what we need and where you want to go

First of all when thinking about this don’t envision a specific person.

Create a check list - Write down what’s important related to

Career

Family - existing and or future

Age

Faith

How they treat people

How they treat their kids

Disipline

Kindness

Why do I want to be remarried?

         Companionship?

         Emotional stability?

         Financial stability?

What did you love about your last relationship

What are non negotiable

Pray - God, what am I missing?

3. Create Plan - Patience or proceed

Patience is self explanatory - and remember it is a season - you will not stay ‘in the waiting’... expand your friend group circle so loneliness doesn’t compromise the waiting.

Proceeding Check list

Pray - submit the conversations

If using a dating app

-Use caution - don’t put to much out there

-Take time

-Be completely honest

-Be patient

-Proximity

-Meet at public place

-Don’t let them in your house

-Set boundaries

-Be true to you

-Don’t move too quickly - Especially physically - Casual sex is anything but casual. It comes with burdens, shame and complicates healing and can create emotional confusion.

-How quick you introduce to kids - protecting kids from getting to attached

-Be open to new

Remember, to date or not to date is one of the most important decision we will face as a single parent and it deserves a carefully thought out position, and tons of prayer.