The Intentional Father

Ideally, literacy starts early in life with the child/parent relationship. Here are a few ways fathers can teach their kids how to read. Spoiler alert: STORY TIME is a major component!

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Bonus episode.

It's important to have FUN with our children. May this episode serve as a reminder and encouragement to not take life so seriously.

Check out this article by Reggie Joiner:

https://orangeleaders.com/2022/10/18/six-things-every-kid-needs/

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Kids need to learn about finances from their parents.

Fathers, teach your children healthy finances when they are young. In this episode, I'll give you my approach to fatherhood finances. Regardless of your method, be INTENTIONAL about how you teach your kids about money. If you need help, reach out to me!

Proverbs 8:18

With me are riches and honor,  enduring wealth and prosperity.

Proverbs 14:20 

The poor are shunned even by their neighbors,  but the rich have many friends.

Proverbs 17:16

Why should fools have money in hand to buy wisdom, when they are not able to understand it?

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If you want responsible children, give them responsibilities.

Chores = one of the most obvious responsibilities you can give your children.

The only way to have responsible children is to trust them with responsibilities. When deciding how much responsibility to give them always err on giving them too much. It’s better to give too much responsibility and let the child rise to the occasion than to give too little responsibility and strip the child of their potential. Not only will this teach a child how to overcome a difficult task, it teaches the child that you believe in them and their ability to adapt and learn successfully. 

Here are some responsibilities appropriate for young children:

Bring in the newspaper or mail.

Match socks for you while you fold the laundry.

Water the plants.

Picking up their toys.

Here are some responsibilities appropriate for elementary-aged children:

Cleaning hard surfaces in the house (counters, windows, etc).

Vacuuming the carpets.

Filling the pet food and water bowl.

Taking the trash out to the curb.

Emptying the dishwasher.

Cleaning their room.

As kids get older, their responsibilities can become more advanced:

Helping cook dinner.

Doing their own laundry.

Buying groceries with money from the family grocery budget.

Mowing the yard.

Filling the vehicle with fuel.

Having a job.

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Here's my first improvised episode! During my latest Asking Academy™, I asked some attendees about their best parenting tips! I gain so much wisdom, I had to pass it on to you through the podcast. Learn with me from the success of other parents.

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I have good news and bad news when it comes to fatherhood.

Bad News: your child does not come with a manual.

Good News: there are wonderful resources that will help you become a better father.

In this episode, I give a few recommendations of the most influential resources that have shaped my parenting. Pick up some of these resources and become a better father!

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Family Dinner Time should be a part of every child's experience. So much good can happen over dinner.

Scripture: The Kingdom of God is often described as a feast or banquet.

Proverbs uses imagery of sitting down at the dinner table as a picture of accepting wisdom.

Conversation will happen at the dinner table. Make it a judgment-free zone. Don’t rush dinner time, have the fast eaters wait for the slow eaters to finish.

Have kids help prep dinner and have kids help clean up dinner.

My favorite part is game time after dinner!

Hold your family meetings at the dinner table.

Hospitality - have friends over for dinner time (yours and theirs).

Teach healthy eating, have kids pick out the menu, and

Finally, consider what’s NOT happening during dinner time - running the streets, TV/Screens, drugs, trouble, etc.

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Forgiveness is such an important element of the human experience. Fathers, we MUST teach our kids how to forgive others. We must forgive our children when they wrong us. We must seek forgiveness from our kids when we wrong them.

The #1 way children know they are truly forgiven is when they can have FUN with the parents!

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Luke 23:34

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Luke 6:37

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

General thoughts on forgiveness.

WE must model this for our children because God modeled this for us.

Kids sometimes don't know what they are doing.

It seems like how we forgive is how we will be forgiven.

NEVER withhold forgiveness (this causes emotional damage).

Separate discipline/consequenced from forgiveness.

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How are fathers supposed to be discipline children?

We know this is important. The book of Proverbs has 31 verses about consequences and 20 verses about parenting (or children receiving correction).

Hebrews 12:5-11

5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,  and don’t give up when he corrects you.

6 For the Lord disciplines those he loves,  and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. 9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?

10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

*Legal Disclaimer - this episode is for your education and entertainment. If any of the content raises concern or question, please seek local professional advice.

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There are two primary ways to teach your kids conflict resolution: leading by example in how you resolve conflict as a father, and mediating inter-sibling conflict within the family.

Matthew 18:15-17

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Matthew 5:24

Leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

2 Timothy 3:16

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

Romans 12:18

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

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