The intentional leader podcast

n this episode I talk about two aspects of what I call the cloud of unknowing.

The first aspect regards how we are blinded by our beliefs. The second one talks about embracing the unknown. So let's dive in.

Our minds and our thoughts are powerful. We might not realise but our beliefs can literally shape our lives, even though our minds have espoused beliefs through experience. It all boils down to how our mind works, particularly the part of our brain called the amygdala and the hippocampus. The hippocampus helps us to make sense of our experiences by clumping memories into clusters that over time create our belief system. It's actually really important because it helps us filter information to both keep us safe but also to avoid us being overwhelmed as we cannot process all the information around us. So our beliefs act as filters, only letting in what is useful to us and what fits with our vision of the world.

This is a beautiful and helpful process for as long as we hold beliefs that are helpful. But most of us hold unhelpful beliefs. And the first step to getting rid of those unhelpful beliefs is to understand that the concept of truth is relative and that it does not matter if something is true when it comes to our wellbeing. We have more control over our happiness than we think we do. I share how what happened to me last week illustrates that beautifully in the episode.

A belief is only a thought that you think is true. Once you take the truth component out of it, you can actually become an active agent in your own thinking. The more important question is how does this belief make me feel and if it makes me feel bad, how would I like to feel instead?

The second part of the episode asks us to embrace the unknown by seeing it as the space holder for infinite possibilities rather than as the driver for anxiety. And I invite the listeners to ask themselves out loud: "what if there was no problem?" or if that's too hard "what is there was a solution?".

I end the episode with the first live guided meditation on the podcast that invites you to lean into what I call the Fog. To listen to the episode, click here. To work with me head over to the home page of this website to read about the different options, or book a discovery call with me with this link.

Einstein supposedly said "There are two ways to live. One as if nothing is a miracle. The other as if everything is a miracle."

I used to live in the first way but now aim to live the second way. It's been helped by the fact that I have experienced miracles first hand. What are miracles, though? The Oxford Dictionary says a miracle is "an extraordinary and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific law and is therefore attributed to a divine agency."

I want to live a life of wonder but I also want to create a space for miracles to exist without people having God crammed down their throats when they share what happened to them. If you a religious and a miracle strengthens your faith, fine. I am happy for you. I just think that the spiritual and religious spaces are not inclusive enough of people who don't buy into God. People who don't believe in God and who ae not religious should be allowed miracles too.

I have identified different types of miracles:

The miracle of life

The miracle of healing

The miracle of love

The miracle of the mind

The miracle of near death experiences

If you want to sign up for the next round of the Treasure Hunt that starts on the 9th of September 2024 click here. http://eepurl.com/ghyJAf

Divine timing is the idea that you are exactly where you should be and that everything happens in your life exactly at the right time. I cannot tell you the number that me and my friends have ranted about divine timing and how frustrating it is. It's not even funny. I suppose we have all been in very challenging circumstances and being told about divine timing when you are going through this can be really counterproductive and even a form of gas lighting.

The last thing I want to do is gas light people, so take the content of this episode with a pinch of salt. I also want to say that we can talk about divine timing even if we are not religious. We can replace the concept of God by Source, the Universe and even Life.

There is a risk when you discover the concept of divine timing to leave all of it to the Universe and sit on your sofa waiting for things to happen. Don't let that happen to you. Divine timing does not cancel out your part to play in creating the life that you want. It is however, a buffer that prevents things from happening when the timing is off. I share some examples of this on the podcast. If something does not happen that you have worked really hard towards, don't be disheartened. Sometimes it's a no, but more often than not, it's a "not yet". I call it delayed, not denied.

One way to find out if you are on track is to look for signs. If that is something you feel you might need support with, it's not too late to sign up for my Treasure Hunt.

Our frustration with divine timing often comes from not being able to see the bigger picture and because of that, not being aware that what we want, might not necessarily be what we need right now or we might not be ready for it. We all live with a level of denial about what we are ready for. There is often a gap. As well, when we doubt we can delay matters because we block the flow. This has to be one of the most frustrating aspects of the manifesting process, which I touched upon in episode 32. But more often than not, divine timing protect against something that we want but that could actually be detrimental to us.

When we become serious about our spiritual path, we relinquish human timing (not always consciously) and invite divine timing into our lives. Then we have to relinquish control and how things are going to look like and unfold. We need to let go of our need to fit into society and appear as the "productive" members of society that our culture value above all, in complete contradiction with true spiritual values. There can literally be a before and after, because all too often, our values are skewed. This is the reason why, people like Steve Jobs often meditate by imagining they only have a day to live. That can really reset our priorities in ways that nothing else can.

To book an private akashic records reading with me (as opposed to a business one), sign up for my newsletter as I only share the reduced fee with my list.

At the end of the episode, I pulled a card from my True Spirituality Oracle Deck to set our collective priority for the next seven days.

I am honoured to have my first representative of the clergy on the podcast to talk about mystical experiences, which will surprise some of you. Rev. Stephanie Bradbury is an interim priest at the St Andrews Episcopal Church in Ayer, Massachusetts. She also speaks at the International Association for Near Death Studies. Although Stephanie has not had a near death experience (NDE) herself, she had a spiritually transformative experience (STE) as a student at University.

Stephanie could be called a progressive priest, as for example, she uses pronouns next to her name. Historically, religion has not treated the LGBTQIA well, but it seems that things are changing.

Stephanie has been a priest for 28 years. Her church, the Episcopal Church in America, is fairly progressive. Women have been ordained in that Church since 1976. Christianity is a varied landscape with millions of people believing different things, but it is often the more vocal ones that dominate the scene. And Christianity is immersed in a culture that does not believe in the transcendent. And that has filtered through the church: the idea that if it can't be detected through our senses, then it doesn't exist. Which is ironic because the scriptures are jam packed with descriptions of transcendent experiences. It's all in there. And these experiences are hard to take seriously because for the clergy, the rest of their lives is bathed in this materialism and they are told again and again that these experiences do not exist.

Stephanie had the honour to counsel quite a few people who had near death experiences and other spiritually transformative experiences in her ministry. People who were told that these experiences were of the devil and who were told they would be going to hell. Or they were dismissed with words such as "I am sure you believe that". The average person on the street would say that too.

It's sad because for most people who have spiritually transformative experiences, their first port of call is the Church and to be told this, is damaging. That's where they look for answers and the answers are not there. At least, not in most churches. But things are changing.

It's hard for clergy too, but more and more Stephanie meets clergy that resonate with her approach. And some are afraid to lose their jobs. Even if a system is benevolent, it's hard to buck the system. Part of Stephanie's calling is to support clergy through this too. When she had her own experiences, she nearly walked away from the church until she was able to see the scriptures through new eyes. She saw that it was all there and now offers a blog about her views called Jesus and the Enchanted Cosmos on Substack.

Stephanie and I talked about how religion can become words and an intellectual exercise rather than something felt from the heart. It's a little bit like snow. If you have never experienced snow, I can describe it to you but you will never feel what snow feels like. That's what has happened with all the transcendent experiences described in the Bible. People hear them but lack the first hand experience of them.

Tarot is not the only means of getting guidance. Today I would like to address the bigger issue of how to get the best spiritual guidance. The short answer to that question is that you will only get the best guidance the day you realise that the Universe does not play favourites and that you need to realise that someone else's feelings and interests are no more or less important than yours.

This is hard to stomach, especially if you have been hurt by that person. I know what I am talking about.

In order to get the best spiritual guidance, you need to be ready to hear what you need to hear as opposed to what you want to hear. The best spiritual guidance is rarely what you want to hear. It is often what we need to hear. These can be two entirely different things. The best spiritual guidance comes from an eagle view into the situation. Most people are not ready to hear it.

How can you get ready to hear it?

First you need to understand how the mind works. You also need to learn about ego. Everyone gets defensive when they feel criticised or attacked. It's perfectly normal. And you need to learn to "bite your tongue" when you are in that space because it is your ego that is likely to answer and you may regret what you say later, when you don't feel so threatened.

Second, you need to learn to listen for the sake of listening, instead of listening to find out when you can say your piece. You need to listen to the other person with the goal to understand the other person's perspective. This is called active listening. I think it should be taught in school. There is one exception to this advice: if you are being abused or are in danger. Then your priority is not to listen but to take yourself to a place of safety. Domestic abuse, bullying and violence are no joke. Don't listen to your abuser, your bully or your attacker. It's obvious advice but I feel the need to say this, just in case someone misconstrues my words or takes them out of context.

Third, understand that beliefs are thoughts we believe are true. They are not necessarily THE truth. They are a truth. And they can be changed if they don't serve the version of reality that you would like to espouse (again, do not take my words as incitement to live in denial). We all live in some level of denial.

Fourth, know that your ego lies to you constantly, to "protect you".

Fifth, recognise your wounds and scars so that you can take responsibility for your triggers.

I share two examples of true spiritual guidance that was gifted to me by psychic mediums in the episode and I encourage you to listen to it to find out about them.

Where can you get this guidance from? Some psychic mediums, although remember that they can only impart guidance to their own level of wisdom or slightly higher, but not much. They two can be blinded by their own beliefs. I remember a psychic telling me how lovely my second husband was and what a good man he was, when it turned out he abused me repeatedly and I was not safe in that relationship. Not ideal.

Ultimately, run that guidance through your own intuition, unless of course that guidance came directly from your intuition. Be warned, though, that your ego is incredibly clever and it can pretend to be your intuition. It is a master of disguise.

Last, let go of the idea of vengeance. We do not want vigilantes. Leave that to the legal system or divine justice. And if, sadly, you are in an abusive relationship of any nature, with a parent, child, boss, friend or partner, I invite you to watch videos by Dr Ramani on YouTube.

If you would like a reading with me, I am offering all podcast listeners a 50% discount on my half hour sessions, if they have never worked with me. To hear the discount code, listen to the episode, then use this link to book your session.

In this tarot series, we first looked at whether the tarot is evil or dangerous, then we looked at how to get the best tarot reading with a professional and we are now going to dive into what you need to know to do a reading for yourself, starting with choosing your first deck. Look at it as a tarot for beginners crash course.

Tarot decks always have 78 cards. If you buy a deck that has less cards, it's an oracle deck, which I will cover in a different episode. These cards are split in two groups: The major arcana and the minor arcana. There are 22 major arcana that usually follow the same pattern, starting with the fool (card 0) and ending with the World (Card 21). Major arcanas usually have their number and name on them, particularly in the Rider-Waite deck, which is the gold standard for learning.

How to choose your deck? I would recommend you choose it intuitively. Yet, at the same time, I recommend the Rider-Waite for learning. So maybe have two decks. My favourite deck is the Light Seer's Deck because it is more inclusive because the Rider-Waite is white washed and heteronormative.

Once you receive your deck, you need to both cleanse it and dedicate it. I describe in the episode how to cleanse your deck with the sun. There are of course many different methods that are available on the internet. A lot of them involve crystals or smudging sticks. I prefer to keep things simple but if you want to use your crystals or incense, knock yourself out.

Dedication: why is that important? It will set the tone for the kind of guidance you receive. Some people like to have their arse kicked, others prefer gentle guidance. I like my guidance to be uplifting, useful and inspiring. Take a little time to reflect on what you want.

There are two ways to read the tarot: if you read cards literally, you don't need to be clairvoyant to do so. This means that everybody can read the cards for themselves, psychic or not. I think it's a good thing.

In the episode I teach you one way to use your deck to get yes/no answers with just one card. I would rather you listen to the episode to hear all my instructions as there many parts to it but if you are in a rush, you pull one card. It is upright, it's a yes. If it is reversed, it's a no.

At the end of the day, the power of tarot cards lie in their symbology, mostly what things mean to you. Because of this, I encourage you to sign up for my Treasure Hunt where you will learn how to find and interpret signs. Plus if you are an entrepreneur, particularly in the online service industry, I will share how to start thinking about a powerful three or five day challenge you could run. Here is the link to sign up.

Last, here are the top five mistakes people do when they read the tarot so you can try to avoid them:

1. Doing a reading when you feel low or vulnerable
2. Using your deck in a space that is not safe
3. Asking the same question until you get the answer that you want
4. Asking the wrong question
5. Think the answer you get is set in stone

I can teach you the tarot one to one if you want for £199 a month (at the time of the recording of this episode). If you would like to find out more, book a discovery call with me with this link. Making sure you learn with the right mentor is incredibly important so let's chat.

Before we get into the meat of today's episode, I have a special announcement: The Treasure Hunt is back. Sign up with this link to receive the link to the group where I run it. If you read these show notes or listen to the episode after June 2024, don't worry, you can still sign up for the next round. I run my treasure hunt several times a year.

Last week, we established that tarot is not evil. This week, I want to help you make the most of a reading with a tarot reader. This advice applies to all kind of intuitive or psychic readers, though, not just tarot readers.

There are four steps to getting the best tarot reading for you:

Step 1: Choose your reader carefully

If you are going to a reader, you are likely to be in a vulnerable state, make sure you are going to someone who is ethical, has values that match yours, and preferably who is recommended. The later is not always possible, nor is it a guarantee that this reader is right for you. Use discernment. In the episode, I also list the red flags that should make you very cautious about a reader.

Step 2: Prepare for the reading

Do some journaling, or at least reflect on where you are in life and what you want out of that reading. Ask yourself, how you want to feel by the end of the reading. And have a goal. Prepare some questions and reflect on the quality of the questions you have written down. Try to choose open questions such as how, why, when or what, rather than yes or no questions.

Step 3: The reading itself

The advice for the actual reading is to make sure you are in a good headspace. If you can, don't fit your reading in a busy day so that you have time before and after to ground yourself and process what you have been told. Ask ahead of time to receive guidance from the deepest of love, the highest of intention and the highest of good. It's important. Also, don't freak out if you get the death card. Let your reader tell you what they think it means, even if you read the tarot yourself.

Step 4: After the reading (preferably right after)

Take some time to unpack, decide what feels right for you and what doesn't, using your intuition and plan so you can act on the reading. But also, remember that there is nothing wrong with getting a second opinion AND it's always YOUR decision. It's your life. Don't put your life in the hands of a stranger, no matter how much you trust or admire them. Most readings will confirm something you already know.

If you would like a reading with me, my business rates are £300 per hour at the time of this episode. To book click here. If you want a personal reading, I have a special rate that is three times cheaper, but only people who are signed up to my general list can book for personal readings.

There is a lot of things that religious people find evil and tarot is definitely one of them. The question I want to explore is: are they right? This is the first of a series of episodes on the tarot as I would like to share the wisdom I have acquired about the tarot in the eighteen years that I have been studying and practising as a professional tarot reader.

I started the episode by sharing some definitions of evil and of tarot. I want you to know that as far as I am concerned, people who use the word evil make me edgy. The word makes me edgy. It is linked to immorality and wickedness, but even those two concepts are fluid and mean completely different things to different people. Plus over time, the concept of those things have changed. A hundred years ago, it was considered immoral to be in a same sex relationship. By whose standards? Homosexuality was a crime in Europe. The same people who condemned the LGBT community as perverse had been torturing and killing people for thousands of years in the name of God. Just a little double standard here.

In that time, did the tarot kill or torture anyone? Of course not. This being said, I see the tarot as a tool, not unlike knives. It can harm people, either the reader or the querent, if not used properly, so it should always be used with caution.

In the episode, I also explore the origins of tarot and mention a booked called The Woman with the Alabaster Jar, specifically chapter five of that book. It puts the whole original of tarot in an entirely different context and actually explains why the Catholic Church, which, at the time of the Inquisition, was trying to establish its authority over the Church of Amor and was ready to do anything to take over the ultimate power. That is why it condemned the tarot as heretic. I am sure you will find what I share in the episode fascinating.

I then go on to share the seven biggest myths around the tarot, which I will list here briefly:

1. You can only be given a deck of tarot, and should not buy your own
2. You have to be psychic to read the tarot
3. You must never read for yourself
4. Tarot is evil
5. If you charge of your readings, you get bad karma
6. Tarot tells you about your future
7. You should not have more than one reading per year

I expand on each of these myths, so that you understand what is false and what is true, because there are a lot of false information circulating about the tarot. I trained both with a local psychic medium who was a professional tarot reader and the Tarot School of New York. I even taught classes for people who wanted to learn the tarot, in person for a year. I now offer one to one online tuitions within my Get it Done package, for £199 a month (price valid at the time of the recording of this episode and subject to change). It's both a series of training videos plus me mentoring you as you learn and answering all of your questions. To secure your package, use this link.

Nimisha's story of how she came to be a mindfulness teacher is memorable. About ten years ago, she was not able to perform her job as a surgeon, due to not being able to enter the operating theatre. She felt physically sick when she approached it. Her boss forced her to take some time off and had her go through a battery of tests to find out what was going on. They found nothing wrong with her body.

But she often had friends and family comment on how high strung she was. She thought it was a good thing as it allowed her to be at the top of her game as a surgeon, until it wasn't. Friends suggested yoga, but she refused. She wasn't prepared to change her personality to make other people comfortable. She liked who she was. She needed that edge to be a good surgeon.

At the end of the two week vacation she took to get better, she finally gave in to her husband's suggestion to try meditation because she wasn't getting any better. She took medication for her upset tummy, but it wasn't working. She had cut off tea and coffee, which was huge for her as she would drink an average seven to eight cups a day, so trying meditation felt easy. Besides, at that point, she was ready to try anything because she loved her work and wanted to get back to it.

It is at that point that she came across a book called 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works - A True Story, by Dan Harris. And she thought, why not. Who doesn't want to be happier. She also liked that the promise of the book was not grandiose. The author was also a high strung person, which appealed to Nimisha, even though he was an American white male and she was an Indian brown woman. She could relate to the war reporter in him in ways she could never relate to people wearing white robes with serene smiles. What happened next was miraculous. She was able to go back to the operating theatre and resume her former life.

At that point in her life, she called her practice meditation. She had an app and would religiously get on with her meditation daily. But as she slipped back into her life, she became complacent and her practice slipped. Her family noticed right away as she was cranky on days she did not meditate. Even her mother, who was raised a Roman Catholic and who is afraid of the idea of meditation, noticed.

And then there was to be a part two to her journey when she became a mother and started to struggle with issues of anger. Sadly, the meditation did not seem to help because she hadn't accepted yet that all emotions are welcome. She was resisting the anger. She just wanted the joy of being a mum. That is when she shifted from meditation to mindfulness and radical acceptance.

Non judgment became a big part of her new practice.

To find out more about her, head over to her website. Find her on Instagram. To download her free mindfulness journal, click here.

The most prominent teacher of the Law of Attraction is Esther Hicks, who channels a collective of souls called Abraham. When I first came across her book, Ask and It Is Given, I could not go past chapter one. It went against so many of the beliefs I had been taught by my parents that I could not digest its content. It actually took me years to go past chapter one. I would try, fail and put the book down. Then try again, fail again, and put the book down again. And then one day, years after my first attempt (and possibly as long as ten years after that first attempt), I was ready. I read the whole book.

One of the reasons I could not go past chapter one is that it starts, straight off the bat, with the following words "We are called Abraham and we are speaking to you from the non physical dimension". I had been to several psychics for readings at that point, and some had passed on messages from my grand mother and grand father, but somehow this was one step further on the bizarre experience and I could not seem to go past past.

The principles I was raised with were: Work hard, stay disciplined and be patient. It went further than that. As a child, I was discouraged from asking what I wanted by a mother who almost as soon as I asked for something made sure I understood that it was the best way not to get it. So I learnt never to ask for what I wanted. Throw in a couple of birthdays where I didn't get what I wanted and my belief that I should not bother to ask for what I want, and just be grateful for what I have was cemented. I was definitely never exposed to the idea that I create my own reality. Ever.

Here are my nine steps to manifesting:

1. Be clear on what you want

2. Identify the fears you have around what you want

3. Clear the fears you have identified in step 2

4. Have a plan to get what you want and take action

5. Revise the plan on a regular basis

6. Be realistic

7. Surround yourself with supportive people

8. Acknowledge the smallest successes along the way

9. Never compare yourself to anyone else

This sounds simple in theory but it is a lot more difficult to implement so head over to the podcast to actually listen to the episode as I share example and tips for each of these steps. In the podcast, I also unpack a little bit how we all start at different points so it's important to acknowledge that and to extend a helping hand to people who don't have as much privilege as we do. I also mention my True Prosperity course on Thinkific. If you want to find out more about it, click here.