The Introverted Executive

On today’s show we are going to give you six deliberate steps to transition from College to the Workforce with Class! A good GPA and intelligence does not guarantee a successful transition. We will share 6 very deliberate and specific steps to smooth your transition. These include, salary negotiation, expectations, vacation time, etc,

Show Notes for Genuine Driven Women Episode #14

Don’t Tell Anyone, but I’m in Over my Head!

Welcome to the “Genuine Driven Women” podcast, the show where we guide women to reveal their strengths so they believe and can achieve their desired greatness! 

Today’s episode is called, Don’t Tell Anyone, but I’m in Over my Head.  We discuss Impostor Syndrome and how to deal with it.

MAIN TOPIC

To start, I’d like to read a poem, titled Our Deepest Fear, by Marianne Williamson.  Really focus on the words, and if you need to listen again, as I did the first time I heard it – this episode will always be here for you.  

 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

_____________

Have you heard of “Impostor Syndrome”? It is that feeling, that fear, that someone is going to figure out that you are not as smart or as capable as they first thought, even though you have proven to be very successful and capable to this point.   This is VERY common, up to 70% of all women and men deal with it. Today, we give you concrete steps to DEAL WITH IT.

You may even have the grades, the awards, the salary, and a long list of accomplishments to back yourself up, but still – that nagging belief that you shouldn’t be where you are, continues to haunt you.  

In fact, Impostor syndrome really only occurs in High Achievers.  It is not a problem for Low Achievers. So, if you have been feeling like a fraud, it probably only means you have high standards for yourself.

As Marianne Williamson’s poem inferred, you should have high standards for yourself, for you were created to let your own brilliance shine.

One of the earliest references to this phenomenon was in 1978, in a Georgia State University research paper titled, The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention, written by Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes.  

In the book, The Confidence Code, written by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman (TV News journalists), They said, “We should star in our own production. Often, women just seem to have the spotlight thing backward. We want to shine a bright light on our faults, insecurities, and the outlandish reasons we will surely fail, but when it comes to taking credit or enjoying our triumphs, we step into the shadows, looking at our accomplishments as though we’ve never seen them before.”

 

 

Time Machine:  

In this segment each week we will give a few points about women that have accomplished a lot! We also will discuss a bit about what was happening to women during the time periods. Someone we think you would like to know more about is:

Malala Yousafzai

 

Inspirational Quote of the Week:

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

-Maya Angelou

• I really enjoyed this quote when I read it because in many people’s day to day lives we see people that may be sad or they just look like they need a little boost and we can give those people what they need. When I am feeling blue just one nice gesture brightens my mood, even if it is just a “Hi, how are you?”. So I challenge you all this week to be a rainbow to one person who is looking a bit cloudy!

Book Review:

Genuine driven women read lots of books!  We’ll make sure to recommend a book each week that will inspire you or help you on your journey to success!

This week’s book is:

The Invisible Leader

By Zach Mercurio

If you’d like to buy this book in any format, including the audiobook version for less than $10.00, click this link:  https://amzn.to/2DZ4sqD

This book discusses why we should leverage the fundamental human search for purpose and meaning, and how that purpose - rather than any one person, is what truly leads and motivates people to do their best.  This book will help today’s leaders, educators, and parents discover, clarify, and deliver their reason for existence―their authentic purpose, and to help those they lead find it for themselves.

"The Invisible Leader" is a unique and compelling combination of practical tools, storytelling, research, and case studies which form the basis of a powerful new approach to leadership.

Click the link to buy the book (available in several formats):    https://amzn.to/2DZ4sqD

We genuinely Want to know! 

Are you driven to succeed? Email [email protected] or call us at (724) DRIVEN-2 or  (724) 374-8362 and leave a voice message. Ask questions, leave comments, or give us feedback!  We’ll use your voicemails on a future podcast!

SUBSCRIBE:

 

Please subscribe to this show via iTunes and Stitcher to receive ongoing weekly motivation to turn those dreams into goals and to reach YOUR version of success!  

We’d love for you to take a couple minutes to write a review on iTunes, which will help us to reach our goal to connect with girls, young ladies, and women who need just this kind of inspiration each week.  You can also follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/genuinedrivenwomen/ to join the conversation, get to know us better, and to find about all the new things we will be announcing in the months to come.

References:

 

• Malala Yousafzai:

• https://www.biography.com/people/malala-yousafzai-21362253

• https://en.unesco.org/gem-report/sites/gem-report/files/EDUCATION_IN_PAKISTAN__A_FACT_SHEET.pdf

 

On today’s show, we will discuss ­­­How to Stop Crying and Screaming so you can Control the ripple effect of your emotions on others

Before we get started, I’d like to say hello to those of you who are listening in the UK, Ireland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Canada, Australia, Brazil, Mozambique, India and even China!

MAIN TOPIC

Tami:  ( STORY OF COFFEE LADY)  

Do you have a desire to be a senior leader within your organization?  If so, you do need to learn to manage your emotions. Have you seen overly angry women at work or at school?  

There are times and places where a proper display of anger may be necessary, but if this kind of anger is your default reaction to anything that slightly displeases you, you need to figure out what you need to do to change your reaction.  This kind of anger WILL get in your way on your road to success, and it is unacceptable, period.

If you remain that kind of angry in the everyday interactions you have with people around you, you will find that you get stuck exactly where you are, which will probably only make you angrier.

What about the desire to cry?  If you are someone who is very emotional, and it’s not anger you are over-displaying, but instead you cry all the time, is it possible you can learn to control this?  

 Yes - you can control your urge to cry!  Crying is not a bad thing, when it is done for the right reasons or in the right place.  Still, crying does have a very big impact on all the people around you, and it can be seen as manipulative, weak, or make you seem like you are not a person who is “in control.”  

This is the reason you should learn to recognize how and when you cry, and then decide if it is truly necessary each time.  You can make the decision to improve this emotional response and you will feel more powerful if you do learn to control it more often.

Let’s talk about Emotional Intelligence.  According to PsychCentral.Com, “Emotional intelligence or EQ, is more important than a person’s intelligence or IQ, in achieving success in their lives and careers.”

Is it worth the effort to change our EQ?  According to the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, here are some reasons you should try to improve your 

There are two major sides of EQ, one is how well we know and manage ourselves and our own emotions, the other is how well we recognize emotions in others and manage our interactions with them.

In a HBR article, Daniel Goleman describes 12 competencies within 4 domains that make up Emotional Intelligence.

[REFERENCE PHOTO - Click this link]

In the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, they describe a simpler, but very similar version of this.

[REFERENCE PHOTO - Click this link]

Take a close look at each one of these and consider how you might rate on each of these items.  If you buy the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, it does come with a code that will allow you to take a free EQ assessment test, which could give you clarity for what you need to work on first.

The examples of anger and crying at the beginning, fit squarely into the “Self-Awareness” and “Self-Management” domains.  These domains are heavily in your control.

According to Dr. W. Gerrod Parrott, a Professor of Psychology at Georgetown University, all emotions come form the basis of six general categories: Love, Joy, Surprise, Anger, Sadness, Fear.  He has broken these emotions into hundreds of related secondary and tertiary emotions. You can click the link in the show notes to see his chart.

[REFERENCE PHOTO - Click this link]

What are some concrete steps we can take to start improving our Emotional Intelligence right away?

1.  Consider taking an EQ assessment exam, there are free versions available at various locations on the internet
2.  Take a good hard look at yourself and what you want to improve in how you react emotionally, or in how you deal with others on a daily basis.  Make a small list of the most immediate changes you want to make
3.  Think of times when you lost your temper or when you made the decision to cry.  How did this affect the others around you? Did you regret it? Did you wish you could rewind time and do something else instead?  After about an hour, how did you feel about the situation? When you think of the times that drudge up the most regret, those may be the actions you want to work on first. 

Once you have identified the emotion or competency you want to work on first, develop some strategies that you will employ for trying to correct the behavior.  

The Book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 includes 15 or more strategies for each EQ domain.  Given our examples today, of losing your temper or crying, you might try some of these.Adalida:  Time Machine:  

In this segment each week we will give a few points about women that have accomplished a lot! We also will discuss a bit about what was happening to women during the time periods. Someone we think you would like to know more about is:

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Inspirational Quote of the Week:

 

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.’”

-Mahatma Ghandi

• It’s pretty cool that this quote can have different meaning for different people. I look at it as something that we do for this world can affect it greatly in the future. Whether it is recycling, helping with the latest form of technology, or even raising a child for success. Even though these are all different and vary to each person on importance, it still greatly helps the world.

 

Tami:  Book Review:

Genuine driven women read lots of books!  We’ll make sure to recommend a book each week that will inspire you or help you on your journey to success!

This week’s book is:

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

By Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

 

If you’d like to buy this book in any format, including the audiobook version for less than $10.00, click this link: https://amzn.to/2GK8KEy

We already discussed this book quite a lot, but this is a very useful book for a Genuine Driven Woman!

Click the link to buy the book (available in several formats):    https://amzn.to/2GK8KEy

 

We genuinely Want to know! (Listener questions and feedback)

This is the section where you ask questions, let us know what’s on your mind or just say hello!  

Are you driven to succeed? Email us at [email protected] or call us at (724) DRIVEN-2 or  (724) 374-8362 and leave a voice message. We’ll use your voicemails on a future podcast!

We’d love for you to take a couple minutes to write a review on iTunes, which will help us to reach our goal to connect with girls, young ladies, and women who need just this kind of inspiration each week.

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE A REVIEW

You can also follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/genuinedrivenwomen/ to join the conversation, get to know us better, and to find about all the new things we will be announcing in the months to come.

Show Notes for Genuine Driven Women Episode #12

This is Episode #12 and on today’s show we are going to talk about Finding a mentor and Becoming a mentor for others.

Before we get started, a few of our listeners have reached out to us and let us know they love what we are doing.   Some people have asked us how they can help us grow and succeed in our mission. The absolute best thing you can do if you think this show has meaning and if it has inspired you, is to go to iTunes and take a minute to write a review.  I have put a link in the show notes if you want to type a review. (Link to GDW in iTunes) Or simply share our podcasts via your social media accounts.

ADALIDA: We’d like to thank Jessthespawarrior  for a 5 STAR review we received via iTunes.  ★★★★★ 5 out of 5 stars.   

"I love this podcast!  I’ve known Tami for a long time and I can honestly say that she is a driven women who relates well to women in many different career fields."

MAIN TOPIC

Finding a Mentor or Becoming a Mentor

 What is a mentor?   The definition of a mentor is an experienced and trusted adviser or an experienced person in a company, college, or school who trains and counsels employees or students.  

A mentor can either be a formal relationship where a school or a company may actually “assign” you a mentor,

or it may be more informal where you simply consider someone your mentor, though it may never have been actually discussed. It can also be anywhere between those examples in the level of formality.  A mentor is different than a “role model.”  A Role model could be someone you never even met, or perhaps even a fictional character that you read about in a book, someone who you look up to or strive to grow to have similar skill sets or accomplishments.

A mentor should be a real person, who you have met and do respect.   A mentor is someone who you have the ability to talk to, ask questions of, and they willingly provide advice and counsel to you.

Why do we need a mentor?

Even if you are a genuine driven woman, it may be hard to see where you need to improve.  A mentor will give you the feedback on where you might grow so that you can go further along the path toward your goal.

Assuming the mentor is a formal relationship agreed upon by both parties at an organization, the mentor’s experience in the company may help you avoid mistakes and focus your efforts on a path that is good for both you and the organization

This will likely lead to upward mobility and open up options that you have not yet considered for yourself.

 

 Adalida:  Time Machine:  

In this segment each week we will give a few points about women that have accomplished a lot! We also will discuss a bit about what was happening to women during the time periods. Someone we think you would like to know more about is:

Florence Nightingale

 

Inspirational Quote of the Week:

“Take criticism seriously, but not personally.’”

-Hillary Clinton

• Something my mom taught me while I was growing up was to allow others critics and to not be hurt by them. Look at it as a way to better yourself, which will eventually lead you to the best you that you can be. It took me a while to realize that what she was saying was beneficial, but now that I do recognize it, I have improved on myself a lot. I’ve allowed others to give me their thoughts and opinions and used those to work on myself for the better, and to not take it personally as I have before.

 

Book Review:

Genuine driven women read lots of books!  We’ll make sure to recommend a book each week that will inspire you or help you on your journey to success!

This week’s book is:

The Well Spoken Woman  By Christine K. Jahnke

If you’d like to buy this book in any format, including the audiobook version for less than $10.00, click this link:  http://amzn.to/2DNS10V

We genuinely Want to know! (Listener questions and feedback)

This is the section where you ask questions, let us know what’s on your mind or just say hello!  

Are you driven to succeed? Email us at [email protected] or call us at (724) DRIVEN-2 or  (724) 374-8362 and leave a voice message. We’ll use your voicemails on a future podcast!

References:

 

• Florence Nightingale:

 

https://www.biography.com/people/florence-nightingale-9423539

Show Notes for Genuine Driven Women Episode #11

This is Episode #11 and today, we are going to talk about being Brave Enough to accomplish your goals.

TAMI:  Before we get started, a few of our listeners have reached out to us and let us know they love what we are doing.   Some people have asked us how they can help us grow and succeed in our mission. The absolute best thing you can do if you think this show has meaning and if it has inspired you, is to go to iTunes and take a minute to write a review.  I have put a link in the show notes if you want to type a review. (Link to GDW in iTunes) Or simply share our podcasts via your social media accounts.

ADALIDA: We’d like to thank Cowonahill for a 5 STAR review we received via iTunes.  ★★★★★ 5 out of 5 stars.

Even if you don’t feel like you need advice/guidance in your life right now, it’s really positive and motivating to listen to these ladies! :) It really builds a sense of community with fellow listeners. They got your back!  

And, with that - we will jump into today’s main topic:

MAIN TOPIC

The definition of brave from the Merriam-Webster dictionary is: “having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty: having or showing courage”

The definition of courage is “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”

I hope you noticed that neither of these definitions say WITHOUT fear, they say “face fear or withstand fear.”  Fear, at some level, will never go away. There will always be some new difficulty that you initially believe is insurmountable.  This is what we will talk about today – how to move forward in spite of your fears.

The good news is that you only have to be brave enough to take the very next step.

What is it that you want out of your life? I’m not talking about what you want and also think other people expect from you.  I am talking about what YOU want, what you REALLY want.

When you dream of who you would be if there were no limits or no roadblocks, if you could be anything you wanted in the whole world.  What would you do?

Are you on the path to that dream now?  Are you taking the steps to make THAT dream come true?  Or, are you planning on something that is safer, something that is a compromise in your eyes.  

Something that is easy to accomplish, something that you already have the skills and ability to do today.  

If you believe your passion is in the dream job and you feel like you are missing out on your life’s purpose, you have to ask yourself what is keeping you from pursuing the career that is calling to you.  Could it be fear?

Let’s think of an example dream job….  Maybe a national news journalist on a major TV network.

What are some common fears? 

(Talk about one by one with some ad-lib)

o   Fear of failure

o   Fear of making mistakes

o   Fear of how long the path is to get to your goal

o   Fear people will not understand

o   Fear we’ll do all the work to get there and we will find we didn’t really want it

o   Fear we really aren’t good enough to get there

o   Fear that we aren’t worth it

o   Fear that dreams only come true for other people    

As we mentioned, the fear will probably not ever go away completely.

The good news is that we can use a dash of bravery and we can use our courage to push through the fear.  

What is the first thing you should do when you have a dream that you want to bring into reality?  

The very first thing you should do is WRITE IT DOWN!  I know, this sounds simple, but so many people won’t take the time to do that.  Write it down – get a journal or a planner.

After you write down your dream the next thing you should do is:

1.  Write down the goal using SMART techniques, this only takes a few minutes for each goal.

(Talk about one by one with some ad-lib)

o   Specific

o   Measureable

o   Achievable

o   Relevant

o   Time-bound

 

o   Evaluate

o   Review

Then, you should  (2.) Break down the goal into action steps that can happen in the near term.  Transfer these steps onto your current to-do list, as appropriate, and start working on them!

Now here is the way we conquer our fear:  Just focus on the very next step.  That’s it.  

You do not have to be brave enough to go from high school graduation to running a multi-million-dollar company, or to commanding an United States Warship, prepared to defend this great nation, or to the most well-respected movie directors of all time.  

All you have to do is focus on the next thing you have to do on the path from where you are to where you want to be.

Here are some steps you can take to become more courageous:

(Talk about one by one with some ad-lib)

o   Focus on the very next small step

o   Remember your fear will never go away, and do the next step anyway

o   Be Persistent – stay on your path. 

o   Ignore those who do not believe you can do this – yes, seriously – IGNORE THEM!

o   Embrace the feeling of the fear and how exhilarating it feels to stretch yourself!

Here are some things you can focus on to increase your bravery:

(Talk about one by one with some ad-lib)

o   Focus on previous times when you have succeeded, how did that feel?  Remember the path you took to that success.

o   Use the feeling of the success to motivate you?

o   Did you have challenges? What did you do to overcome them?  How did that feel?

o   Do you have a memory of a time when you were felt brave?  A time when you really stretched out of your comfort zone?  How did that feel?

What happens if you do reach a brick wall and it seems too hard to get over? We recommend focusing on these thoughts – write them down in your goal journal as you think through the issue:

(Talk about one by one with some ad-lib)

o   How will I get past this?

o   What is the very next step along my path?

o   Do any opportunities exist in my world that I am overlooking?

o   Is there anyone I know who has already accomplished this goal or at least this next step?  Would they talk to me about what they learned?

So, you can see - those giant elephants are not really anything to be afraid of, as long as you focus on one piece at a time and just keep going in the same direction!  

I know you are afraid sometimes, so am I!

And so am I.

This only means you are human and that you have an active primal survival instinct.  Fear is normal, but remember you do not have to be brave enough to take on the entire world on your own.  You only have to stop, focus, break the task in to smaller pieces and then muster the courage to take that very next step - then take the next one after that.  

We are rooting for you!  

Let us know how it is going!

Time Machine:  

In this segment each week we will give a few points about women that have accomplished a lot! We also will discuss a bit about what was happening to women during the time periods. Someone we think you would like to know more about is:

Oprah Winfrey

1. Born in 1954, Oprah is well known for her television show that she hosted from 1986-2011 and in that same year of 2011 she launched her own television network OWN.
2. She was raised in a small town in Mississippi, where she was sexually abused by multiple men that were both related and friends of her mom. After this she was able to get away from the horrible situation by moving in with her dad. By doing this she was able to gain more opportunities.
3. She entered Tennessee State university in 1971 and in 1976 she hosted the TV chat show People are Talking. She ended up staying with the it for eight years because it ended up being such a hit.
4. From there in 1986 she launched the Oprah Winfrey Show, where they had an audience of 10 million people and soon after she gained control of the program from ABC.
5. She also has launched “Oprah’s Book Club” and the O: The Oprah Magazine
6. Even through a rough childhood she was able to take her life and make it into something amazing that will be remembered for many, many generations.

Inspirational Quote of the Week:

“When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are.”

― Oprah Winfrey

• Everything you do is important, make sure to believe in yourself and others will do the same!

 Book Review:

Genuine driven women read lots of books!  We’ll make sure to recommend a book each week that will inspire you or help you on your journey to success!

 This week’s book is:

Grit!

 By Angela Duckworth

If you’d like to buy this book in any format, including the audiobooks, click this link:  http://amzn.to/2G6SzEe

The author, Angela Duckworth, shows anyone who desires to succeed that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a special blend of passion and persistence she calls grit.

Her hypothesis is that what really drives success is not genius but a unique combination of passion and long term perseverance.

She has two formulas I know will speak to you:  

talent x effort = skill

Skill x effort = achievement

Based on these formulas, you will see that talent (or intelligence) alone is not enough to predict success.  

I love this book, because it is the way of the Genuine Driven Woman to persist, to put in the hard work, and to succeed, even when it seems out of reach or too hard for so many.  You will love this book!

Click the link to buy the book (available in several formats):    http://amzn.to/2G6SzEe

We genuinely Want to know! (Listener questions and feedback) 

This is the section where you ask questions, let us know what’s on your mind or just say hello!  

Are you driven to succeed? Email us at [email protected] or call us at (724) DRIVEN-2 or  (724) 374-8362 and leave a voice message. We’ll use your voicemails on a future podcast!

Outro:

The Genuine Driven Women podcast is produced every week for your inspiration, education and enjoyment.  The show notes, and so much more, can be found at genuinedrivenwomen.com.

Please subscribe to this show via iTunes and Stitcher to receive ongoing weekly motivation to turn those dreams into goals and to reach YOUR version of success!  

We’d love for you to take a couple minutes to write a review on iTunes, which will help us to reach our goal to connect with girls, young ladies, and women who need just this kind of inspiration each week.  You can also follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/genuinedrivenwomen/ to join the conversation, get to know us better, and to find about all the new things we will be announcing in the months to come.

Ok, ladies - its time to get out there and be the best YOU that YOU can be!

In the last 26 years, with the incredible increases in women receiving engineering degrees, we have only increased the number of women engineers who are actually working by 2%! What can we do to greatly improve this percentage of working female engineers?

Show Notes for Genuine Driven Women Episode #9

Executive Presence

This is Episode #9 and I am Tami along with my co-host, Adalida.  On today’s show we are going to talk about how to improve your “Executive Presence”.

 According to Suzanne Bates, author of the book, All the Leader You Can Be, executive presence is the “ability of the leader to engage, align, inspire, and move people to act”.   Sylvia Ann Hewlitt, the author of Executive Presence, defines it as “A measure of image:  whether you signal to others that you are star material. If you are able to crack the EP code, you’ll be first in line for that next plum assignment and be given the chance to do something extraordinary with your life.”  The average person may think EP is the way you dress or the ability to give a speech or presentation to a large group.  It is a lot more than that though, if all you do is dress the way you believe an executive should dress at your workplace, and do not consider any other aspects, you may come off as not authentic.  You may even come off kind of awkward, or kind of funny…  Think of the adorable little girl dressed up in her mommy’s church dress, pearls, and high heels.  This might be cute for a child, but it is NOT what we are going for when we try to improve our Executive Presence.  

EP is A LOT more than outward appearances.  This is why this topic is so important.  Suzanne Bates breaks down her EP concept into 15 facets of presence and influence, that are also divided into three broad categories, Character, Substance, and Style.  In Sylvia Ann Hewlitt’s book, Executive Presence, she believes that EP can be divided into three main headings, Gravitas, Communication, and Appearance.  Let’s talk about some of these so you get the idea about what Executive Presence really is, with some concrete action steps you can take to begin improving your own EP!

 

Let’s start with Sylvia Ann Hewlitt’s idea of Gravitas:

1. Exuding confidence and “grace under fire”
2. Acting decisively and “showing teeth”
3. Showing integrity and “speaking truth to power”
4. Demonstrating emotional intelligence
5. Right-sizing your reputation
6. Projecting vision

Here are a few ideas on how to improve your “Gravitas”:

o   Surround yourself with people who are better than you.

o   Stick to what you know (don’t claim to know something you don’t know, if you are wrong it will cost you in the gravitas area.)

o   Show humility

o   Empower other’s presence to build your own

o   Drive change, rather than be changed

 

Communication includee key verbal and non-verbal abilities (Sylvia Ann Hewlitt): 

1. Superior speaking skills
2. Ability to command a room
3.    Ability to read an audience
4.    Forcefulness and assertiveness
5.    Sense of humor and the ability to banter
6.    Body language

Here are a few ideas on how to improve your Communication Skills:

o   Ditch verbal crutches (um, like, you know, etc.)  Allow yourself to pause instead

o   Broaden your small talk

o   Get control of your voice

o   Overprepare

o   Learn to present without props (notes, etc.)

o   Do not allow challenges to your authority to go unanswered

 Appearance counts, largely as a filter through which your communication skills and gravitas become more apparent. Central to looking like a leader is (Sylvia Ann Hewlitt): 

1. Being polished and well groomed
2. Physical attractiveness, slim, fit
3. Simple stylish clothes that position you for your next promotion

 Here are a few tips for improving your appearance:

o   It’s not how good your look, it is how appropriate you look for your audience.

o   If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t

o   Stay in costume to stay in character.  (Don’t leave you suit jacked on the back of your door “in case” someone important comes by.) You never know when that will happen.

o   Don’t let bangles and bling steal your show (anything that draws attention away from your message is NOT giving the best you a chance to shine.)

o   When you are the CEO – you can make (and change) the rules.  Until then, while you are still on your path, you should understand the expectations of your workplace. ­­

 Time Machine:  

In this segment each week we will give a few points about women that have accomplished a lot! We also will discuss a bit about what was happening to women during the time periods. Someone we think you would like to know more about is:

 

Helen Keller

1. She was born with sight and hearing but around the time she was two she lost both to an illness they then called “brain fever” Although she had these two disabilities she was able to overcome them, help others with disabilities, and was appointed counselor of international relations for the American Foundation of Overseas Blind in her later life.
2. Helen began learning from the educator Anne Sullivan. It took some time but she eventually was able to learn how to spell words with her fingers and also understand the objects that the words went with.
3. After this she went on to learn speech, which took her about 25 years, so she would be able to communicate with everyone, so they would be able to understand her.
4. In the website that is referenced below they talk about how Helen, “became a well-known celebrity and lecturer by sharing her experiences with audiences, and working on behalf of others living with disabilities.” She spent the rest of her life trying to help others in need.

 

Inspirational Quote of the Week:

“I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of ‘Wow, I’m not really sure I can do this,’ and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.”

-Marissa Mayer, Yahoo CEO

• I sometimes run into quotes that have to do with something that I thought happened in my life, and I think that this quote touches on that for me. There have been many times in my college career where I thought I couldn’t do something, but I continued on with it and I ended up being able to complete many goals because I didn’t give up. This probably applies to other listeners as well, when you feel you have hit a rough patch, keep trying because once you’ve been able to get past that point, everything is better.

 

Book Review:

Genuine driven women read lots of books!  We’ll make sure to recommend a book each week that will inspire you or help you on your journey to success!

This week’s book is:  Executive Presence

Written by:  Sylvia Ann Hewlett

We already discussed this book in the main topic. If you want to buy this book, you can click through to the show notes and there you will find the link.

To buy the book (available in several formats):  http://amzn.to/2HOMxq6

 

We genuinely Want to know! (Listener questions and feedback)

 

This is the section where you ask questions, let us know what’s on your mind or just say hello!  

Are you driven to succeed? Email us at [email protected] or call us at (724) DRIVEN-2 or  (724) 374-8362 and leave a voice message. We’ll use your voicemails on a future podcast!

 

Outro:

The Genuine Driven Women podcast is produced every week for your inspiration, education and enjoyment.  The show notes, and so much more, can be found at genuinedrivenwomen.com.

Please subscribe to this show via iTunes and Stitcher to receive ongoing weekly motivation to turn those dreams into goals and to reach YOUR version of success!  

We’d love for you to take a couple minutes to write a review on iTunes, which will help us to reach our goal to connect with girls, young ladies, and women who need just this kind of inspiration each week.  You can also follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/genuinedrivenwomen/ to join the conversation, get to know us better, and to find about all the new things we will be announcing in the months to come.

Ok, ladies - it's time to get out there and be the best YOU that YOU can be!

 

References:

 

• https://www.biography.com/people/helen-keller-9361967

 

On today’s show we discuss Embracing Workplace Conflict. Even if you love your job and the people you work with, there will be conflict from time to time.  Conflict is not a bad thing, if it is over something work-related, and not directed as a personal attack. Vigorous debate over the best path forward can lead to excellent discussion, many perspectives, and ultimately will lead to innovation.

Show Notes for Genuine Driven Women Episode #7

Welcome to the “Genuine Driven Women” podcast, the show where we guide women to reveal their strengths so they believe and can achieve their desired greatness!

This is Episode #7 and I am Tami along with my co-host, Adalida.  On today’s show we are going to talk about Spirit Crushers you may encounter in your life.

I have personally witnessed a couple of instances in the last month where people in positions of authority are taking actions that are unnecessarily crushing people’s spirits.   

The feeling when someone crushes your spirit is memorable and can be hard to push from your mind.  We all want to be valued, listened to, and respected among our friends, at school, and within our workplaces.  

Parents, teachers, co-workers, and supervisors at work (to name a few) are all capable of cutting us to the quick when they say something careless.  

It is when you really bare your soul and share an idea for improvement, a dream, or sometimes simple optimism and they directly and intentionally respond in a negative way, that it can truly crush your spirit.  

When you are struggling to find your place in this world, or when you know your purpose and are pushing hard to reach your full potential, spirit crushing moments have a way of setting you back or completely stopping progress toward your dream or goal.  

We cannot control other people, but we CAN do two things: 1) We can make a decision to never crush anyone else’s spirit and   2) We can make a decision about how we will react to these moments.

Soul crushing people might be intentional, or they may just be careless in how they are interacting with you.  

You might be able to put the moment into perspective if you know that they are not usually like this, or if you can decide that they are simply distracted or busy.  Just because something hurts, does not mean it was intentional.  

Sometimes people intentionally crush your dreams because they love you and believe they have your best interests at heart.  This still does not make it right, but it might help you deal with it a little better.  

Instances like this might be a parent that wants you to get an engineering or a pre-med degree rather than something else you believe is more perfect for you, simply because they think it will be easier for you to get a job in the future.  

 This is an example of them pushing their dream for you, and if your dream is different than theirs, this could lead to years of misery.  You may get into your third year of college and realize this is not at all the career path you want to be on, or you may successfully graduate and start working in that career, and wake up five years into your career and realize you really hate your life.

Let’s talk about intentional Spirit crushing people.  Well, let’s call them what they really are – bullies!  According to overcomebullying.org, workplace bullies can be separated into the following types:

1.  The Screaming MiMi - We've all seen (or "heard") the Screaming Mimi. They are loud, obnoxious and in your face. With their little faces turning beet red and their neck veins popping they will go on tirades, spew venom, humiliate you. They are right and you are wrong and you are going to hear about it.

2.  The two-headed snake - This type of workplace bully is one of the most dangerous, because you may not realize you are dealing with a bully until after they have already destroyed your reputation.

To your face they may act like a friend; But they will slander your character and steal credit for your work while telling you they are your biggest fan.

3.  The constant critic - This bully’s goal is to dismantle other people’s confidence through constant – and often unwarranted – criticism. A critic will look for any possible flaw in someone’s work and labors tirelessly to kill that person’s credibility.

 

 ** If you go to overcomebullying.org, you will find several other types of workplace bullies, but we  just wanted to cover a few today.

If you are a leader, at any level, you should be careful about some behaviors you do, without thinking that tend to beat your team down.  Here are somethings that leaders inadvertently do to crush people’s souls:

1.  They are a control freak or a micromanager.  You may think you are simply “detail oriented” or that your experience makes this practice ok, but what it really does is makes the team believe you do not trust them.  

In many cases, they will start to think “what does it matter, he will just tell me exactly how I should do it anyway.” Right there – you killed their innovation, creativity, and probably their motivation.  If this continues, you may cause high turnover on your teams.

2. They treat people they lead like they are not valuable, like they are literally worth less than the leader.  If you treat your team like they are your servants, rather than amazing people who are learning and growing, or if you forget they are major enablers to the overall success of the team, they will find somewhere else to work.  No one on this planet wants to be treated like a second-class citizen.  Especially YOUR own team.

3.  They use a heavy-handed approach to decision making.  This is a “My way or the high-way” kind of leadership.  This is very archaic, very old-school type thinking.  If the leader just declares that they are right and makes every decision, this will majorly shut down a team.  Any innovation, process improvement, or other improvement will be lost.  Nothing will change – and the team will probably begin to find ways to actively work against you.

4.  They show favoritism.  A leader who is very obvious about who their favorite people are in a workplace will definitely crush the spirit of many people in the work force.  It is also possible they could hurt the spirit of the one who is the favorite, because if the entire workforce knows that one person is the boss’s favorite, they may all treat that one person poorly or exclude them from collaborative activities.  

This entire situation is horrible for morale and will make the workplace very toxic.  It is a better option to treat everyone has ethically and fairly as possible.  If most people believe their contribution matters, the overall climate will be at a more positive level.

What can YOU do if you feel like someone is crushing your spirit, but they may not mean to hurt you?  

In this case, the best thing really is to have an honest conversation with the other person and see if the behavior can be rectified.

Another option, if you feel it was not on purpose, is to forgive them and move on – especially if it was rare.

 

What can you do if you feel like you are the victim of a very intentional workplace bully?

1.  Do not blame yourself, you never deserve to be treated so poorly.

2.  Try not to over think it, and try not to think about it away from the workplace.

3.  Get it documented some over and over.  This includes any meeting where you report it, the times and details of the occurrences, and any formal grievances you may file.  Make sure anything written is pure facts with no emotion.

4.  Make sure if you are going to report the bully or if you are going to start documenting it, that it really is inappropriate behavior.  If you are doing shoddy work, and your boss gives you fair, honest feedback – that is not necessarily bullying you.

5.  Do not wait to report the problems if you believe a workplace bully is lurking throughout your organization.  

Remember, you were put on this earth for a purpose and if you are a true genuine, driven, women - you are focused on doing the right thing and making the world a better place - for yourself and others.  Do not allow others to crush your spirit - be strong!  And…  if you do encounter a true workplace bully, report them. You will not only help yourself, but many others as well!

Time Machine:  

In this segment each week we will give a few points about women that have accomplished a lot! We also will discuss a bit about what was happening to women during the time periods. Someone we think you would like to know more about is:

Michelle Obama

1. She was the first African-American “First Lady” of the United States, she is also a promoter of healthy families, service members, and international adolescent girls education.
2. Michelle grew up on the south side of Chicago with her parents and brother. She was a very gifted young girl.  In middle school, she was put in French and accelerated courses in Biology. She also graduated from her high school, one of the first that was put up in her city for gifted kids, as a salutatorian.
3. From there she went to Princeton and received a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology and then went on to Harvard law school and received a law degree. Soon after this she became the advisor to Barack, where after numerous attempts on Barack’s side, they ended up falling in love.
4. Once Barack became President she began to volunteer at different places like homeless shelters and soup kitchens and also made appearances at public schools and would talk about the importance of of education and volunteer work.
5. In the final speech she gave as First Lady, she spoke to the younger Americans saying, “I want our young people to know that they matter, that they belong. So don't be afraid. You hear me, young people? Don't be afraid. Be focused. Be determined. Be hopeful. Be empowered. Empower yourself with a good education. Then get out there and use that education to build a country worthy of your boundless promise. Lead by example with hope; never fear."

Inspirational Quote of the Week:

I’ve never had to unscrew another woman's light bulb to shine…

-Unknown

• This quote is SO right! Whatever you want to do in life, it will be even better if you bring other women to the top with you! We can all shine bright together, helping each other along the way!

Book Review:

Genuine driven women read lots of books!  We’ll make sure to recommend a book each week that will inspire you or help you on your journey to success!

This week’s book is:

Forged In Crisis

By Nancy Koehn

If you’d like to buy this book in any format, including audio books, click this link:  http://amzn.to/2CIsPZj

I absolutely loved this book, and I know you will too!  It is a story of five different historical figures who were normal people like you and I.   The leadership insights covered in this book will be of interest to a wide range of listeners - including those in government, business, education, and the arts.  Harvard Business School historian Nancy Koehn wrote Forged in Crisis and she puts the spotlight on five masters of crisis:

1. Polar explorer Ernest Shackleton
2. President Abraham Lincoln
3. Legendary abolitionist Frederick Douglass
4. Nazi-resisting clergyman Dietrich Bonhoeffer
5. Environmental crusader Rachel Carson.

What each of these five very different figures have in common? Why do their extraordinary stories continue to amaze and inspire? In her book, Nancy Koehn answers those questions and offers remarkable examples by which to judge leaders in our own time.

She begins each of the book's five sections by showing her protagonist on the precipice of a great crisis: Shackleton marooned on an Antarctic ice floe; Lincoln on the verge of seeing the Union collapse; escaped slave Douglass facing possible capture; Bonhoeffer agonizing over how to counter absolute evil with faith; Carson racing against the cancer ravaging her body in a bid to save the planet. The narrative then reaches back to each person's childhood and shows the individual growing - step by step - into the person he or she will ultimately become. As we follow each leader's against-all-odds journey, we begin to glean an essential truth: Leaders are not born but made. In a book dense with epiphanies, the most galvanizing one may be that the power to lead courageously resides in each of us.  Yes, this book is essential reading for a genuine driven woman.  Again, You can click through to the show notes to buy the book:    http://amzn.to/2CIsPZj

We genuinely Want to know! (Listener questions and feedback)

This is the section where you ask questions, let us know what’s on your mind or just say hello!  

Are you driven to succeed? Email us at [email protected] or call us at (724) DRIVEN-2 or  (724) 374-8362 and leave a voice message.  We’ll use your voicemails on a future podcast!  

Outro:

The Genuine Driven Women podcast is produced every week for your inspiration, education and enjoyment.  The show notes, and so much more, can be found at genuinedrivenwomen.com.  

Please subscribe to this show via iTunes and Stitcher to receive ongoing weekly motivation to turn those dreams into goals and to reach YOUR version of success!  

We’d love for you to take a couple minutes to write a review on iTunes, which will help us to reach our goal to connect with girls, young ladies, and women who need just this kind of inspiration each week.  You can also follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/genuinedrivenwomen/  to join the conversation, get to know us better, and to find about all the new things we will be announcing in the months to come.  

Ok, ladies - its time to get out there and be the best YOU that YOU can be!

References:

 

• https://www.biography.com/people/michelle-obama-307592

 

On today’s show, we’d like to discuss a few thoughts on why there aren’t more women in senior leadership positions and what WOMEN can do to change that.