Ex-Mennonite Brandon Suarez on Control, Identity, and Leaving a High-Demand Religion

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On The Jaden Jeffs Podcast, Jaden interviews Brandon Suarez, who grew up Mennonite in Kentucky and West Tennessee and describes a strict, rule-driven culture with private schooling through eighth grade, heavy emphasis on hard work, tithing, and modesty rules for women, including coverings. Brandon explains pressure to “become a Christian” and qualify for baptism through classes and standards, including scrutiny around sexual purity, and how lack of sex education contributed to confusion, porn use, and mental health struggles. He recounts running away as a minor, later being baptized around 18–19, and eventually leaving, describing the shift from a forced identity to a “limitless” mindset. They compare Mennonite life with FLDS and Utah Mormon culture, discuss hypocrisy and control, and Brandon shares his later trucking, move to Utah, and success owning Utah Structures.

01:00 Podcast Intro Brandon
01:45 Mennonite Vs Amish
05:31 Missions And Nepal
07:59 Stores Pole Barn Life
10:12 Sex Talk And Tech
13:31 Leadership Tithing Values
16:49 Mental Health Freedom
19:17 School Dating Shunning
25:24 Women Rules Control
32:36 Leaving Identity Crisis
37:44 Becoming Christian Purity
43:52 Sex Talk Missing
44:39 Porn Shock and Shame
47:55 Rules for Baptism
50:28 Opting Out and God
57:12 Dark Years 12 to 16
01:06:58 If It’s Fun Don’t
01:09:08 Trucks as Freedom
01:13:49 Running Away at 16
01:17:39 Bootcamp Reset and Faith
01:22:00 Big Baptism and Speaking Out
01:25:56 Women Staying and Dress Codes
01:29:09 Morality vs Humanity
01:34:25 Faith Without Pedestals
01:35:53 Why People Join Religions
01:37:58 Validation After Leaving
01:40:44 Men Women and Utah
01:45:36 Hypocrisy and Control Systems
01:50:01 Treat People Like Humans
01:52:56 Golf Friends and Accents
01:57:10 Learning to Dance Community
02:01:45 Business Networking and Success
02:07:40 Limitless Mindset and Cult Talk
02:11:19 Final Thoughts and Farewell

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Jaden Jeffs (ex-FLDS) and Amanda Rae (ex-Kingston/“the Order”) discuss how their groups used control, forced labor, and shame to suppress individuality, empathy, and mental health, including dissociation, overanalyzing, and fear of “losing your mind.” They compare polygamy and incest normalization, describe how leaving can make early relationships unhealthy, and talk about reconnecting with the body through yoga, neurofeedback, and somatic healing. Amanda explains Kingston financial practices such as underage kids paying rent, pooled family accounts, and leadership control of members’ money, plus alleged fraud and “bleeding the beast” tactics to take government funds. They explore how denial and inability to process extreme abuse lets systems persist, reference Epstein-related discourse, and debate whether billionaires can have empathy and how power avoids accountability.

00:51 Podcast Intro and Guests
01:24 Healing After Cult Life
03:26 Overthinking and Neurofeedback
05:52 Dissociation and Reclaiming Self
08:04 Incest Normalized in Groups
10:38 Dating After Leaving
12:37 Cults Outside the Cult
15:34 Finding Home After Exit
17:42 Body Shame and Somatic Work
20:30 Men and Emotional Repression
23:55 Cruelty Learned in Childhood
30:21 Money Control and Slave Labor
32:06 Kingston Economy and Fraud
42:14 Power, Greed, and No Empathy
46:48 Favoritism and Control
47:20 Defining Religious Psychosis
49:02 Schizophrenia in a Bubble
50:39 Pedestals and Cult Loyalty
55:21 Depression as Sin
58:00 Neglect and Disability Stories
59:51 Mormon Roots and FLDS History
01:05:16 Money Systems and Cult Economics
01:11:01 Misunderstanding the Order
01:14:07 Epstein Files and Reality Shock
01:20:25 Can Power Be Stopped
01:22:20 Billionaires and Corruption
01:27:54 Playing Dirty to Win
01:29:38 Community and Closing Thanks

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On The Jaden Jeffs Podcast, Celia LeBaron, daughter of cult leader Ervil LeBaron and one of his 51 children, describes growing up in a fundamentalist Mormon commune and constantly moving between Mexico and the U.S. amid extreme poverty, welfare dependence, and child labor. She explains the Mormon-rooted doctrine of “blood atonement,” how her father used it to justify killing perceived threats and defectors, and recounts learning as an adult that her sister Rebecca—pregnant and about 18—was executed after threatening to go to police. Celia discusses FBI raids, indoctrination of children, attempted and carried-out hits including the killing of Rulon Allred by coerced teenage girls, and how life worsened under Dan Jordan’s abusive control. After a public beating and being denied education, she fled at 19 to rebuild her life, later emphasizing compassion for siblings shaped by coercion.

00:51 Meet Celia LeBaron
01:56 Blood Atonement Explained
05:54 Childhood on the Move
08:17 Obedience Training
10:03 Remembering a Prophet Father
15:53 Learning the Killings Were Real
17:32 LeBaron Split and Joel Murder
23:33 Raids and Rulon Allred Plot
29:58 Brainwashing and Alternate Reality
37:32 Purity Culture and Death Penalties
45:25 Rebecca Truth Revealed
51:03 Rulon Allred Hit and FBI Raids
57:15 Denver Slave Labor Warehouse
01:01:46 Dan Jordan Abuse
01:02:40 Keep Sweet Control
01:03:56 Prophet Arrest Fallout
01:05:54 Dad Dies in Prison
01:07:12 Back Under Dan
01:09:41 Utah Mission Tactics
01:12:08 Beaten for Disrespect
01:16:44 Mom's Role Explained
01:22:34 Planning the Escape
01:31:53 Rebuilding in Houston
01:38:32 Four O'Clock Murders
01:47:09 Misunderstood Siblings
01:53:10 Cult vs Religion
01:54:33 Vulnerable to Cults
01:57:36 Where to Follow
01:59:48 Final Thanks

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Jaden interviews Alyssa, who grew up in a strict LDS home in Minnesota, moved to Utah for BYU, and later left the Mormon church. They discuss culture shock in Utah, hypocrisy and contradictions in LDS rules (coffee vs energy drinks, garments changing, dating and sexual standards), and how spiritual feelings—especially through music and the curated temple environment—can be interpreted as truth or manipulation. Alyssa explains she didn’t fully believe until her early 20s, recommitted during COVID by taking missionary lessons, repenting, getting endowed, and attending the temple weekly, then experienced a faith collapse after a major LDS breakup in 2024 that shifted her view of God, sealing, and “one true church” claims. She now attends a non-denominational church off and on, relates to agnosticism, and describes difficult but loving family dynamics, including conflict over tithing and her parents’ inability to see outside the LDS worldview.

00:00 Faith Stakes Banter
00:55 Meet Alyssa Ex Mormon
02:37 Utah Bubble Culture Shock
03:55 Strict LDS Childhood Rules
06:19 Sex Talk And Purity Culture
08:47 Belief Wavers Then BYU Reset
13:25 Swearing And Family Dynamics
17:09 Hypocrisy And Church History
20:34 Coffee Monsters And Garments
27:28 COVID Recommitment And Temple High
32:24 Temple As Curated Spirituality
36:17 Dating Non Member While Devout
37:51 Covenants Over Everything
38:21 Why Date Nonmembers
42:14 Conversion Culture Gray Area
45:20 Contradictions And Garments
50:57 Black And White Mormon Identity
54:25 FLDS Lens On Hypocrisy
01:03:30 Breakup Catalyst Leaving
01:10:48 Utah Dating Commitment Issues
01:12:00 Strength Of Youth Dating Rules
01:13:49 Mormon Dating Contradictions
01:15:34 Why Parents Can’t Hear Doubt
01:19:04 Tithing Sparks the Talk
01:25:20 Is There One True Church
01:28:00 What Mormonism Still Offers
01:32:27 Utah Culture and Defending LDS
01:36:23 Why People Join Religions
01:38:24 Spiritual Manipulation Explained
01:42:40 Life After Leaving the Church
01:45:04 Final Thoughts and Farewell

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Lorraine Johnson (Ex-FLDS): Married at 15 to Winston Blackmore, the Warren Jeffs Split, and Life in Canada

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On The Jaden Jeffs Podcast, Jaden interviews Lorraine Johnson, who was born in Hildale, Utah, raised in Short Creek, and later lived in the FLDS community in Canada where she married Winston Blackmore at 15 as his 17th wife. Lorraine describes her musical upbringing, her grandfather Lawrence Steed’s influence, and how centralized “placement” marriage evolved after men married girls while their father was away. She explains why she wanted to marry young, including limited schooling and fears around the year 2000, and how she prayed and asked to be placed with Winston. Lorraine details Winston’s popularity and liaison role for Rulon Jeffs, the growing conflict with Warren Jeffs, Winston’s 2001 trial, the repentance dispute involving a baptized young woman, and Winston being removed as bishop and later accused of adultery after Rulon’s death. She shares what early plural marriage life was like, her shifting beliefs, and how COVID changed church and school authority in Canada, while reflecting on women’s voice, identity, and choosing when to end struggles.

00:00 Teen Marriage Dreams
00:38 Meet Lorraine Johnson
00:58 Growing Up Short Creek
01:38 Grandpa Lawrence Steed
04:28 Origins of Placement Marriage
07:23 Winston Blackmore Emerges
11:34 Winston Versus Warren
12:15 Bishop at Eighteen
17:15 Popularity and Many Wives
19:15 Wanting Marriage Young
26:16 School and Social Isolation
30:41 Turning In to Marry Winston
34:18 New Wife Reality Check
36:00 Winston as Matchmaker
37:06 Life With Many Wives
38:30 Babies and Bishop Duties
39:52 The Split Begins
43:13 Repentance and Baptism Clash
46:52 Sat Down as Bishop
54:49 Rulon Funeral Paranoia
59:09 Letter and Exile Decision
01:02:02 Faith Shifts and Deprogramming
01:04:57 Life After Winston
01:06:36 COVID Power Shift
01:10:34 Women and Authority
01:13:20 Choosing to End Struggle

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On the Jaden Jeffs podcast, Mel and Corey share their experiences growing up in the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB) polygamist community in Utah and Montana. Mel was raised with 34 siblings and four mothers, and says her father, David Watson, is the current AUB leader; Corey grew up in a United Order compound in Pinedale, Montana with his father’s nine wives and 39 children. They discuss AUB origins as a split from the FLDS in 1958, how leadership succession works in practice, and how marriage/courtship is arranged with an “illusion of choice.” Mel describes being married spiritually shortly after turning 17 to a 25-year-old, pressure to help court a second wife, and later learning her husband hired prostitutes while leadership would not grant her a release because he claimed there was no physical contact.

00:45 Meet Mel & Corey: Raised AUB, Massive Families, and Their Channel
02:20 AUB Origins & Leadership Succession: Splits, Prophets, and Power
04:41 Leaving the AUB: Excommunication, Returning, and Finally Walking Away
06:16 How AUB Courtship Works: “Illusion of Choice” and Teen Marriage
08:25 Life in a United Order: One House, Many Wives, Work, and Childhood Trauma
15:15 Is Polygamy Ever “Worth It”? Advice, Obligation, and Belief in Heaven
19:04 Why They Questioned It: Favoritism, Hypocrisy, and Cory’s Excommunication Story
25:05 Mel’s Breaking Point: Forced Courting, Abuse, Divorce Limbo, and Getting Out
32:50 Sex Rules, Last Names, and Leadership Scandals: Abuse, Cover-Ups, and Control
43:28 “We’re the Good Guys”… Until You Look Closer
44:25 ‘We Live Polygamy Better’: Age, Consent, and Double Standards
45:38 ‘Mature for Her Age’: How Families Justify Child Marriage
47:54 Control, Shame, and the ‘Exorcism’ Night
50:23 Modesty Rules & Temple Garments: Washings, Anointings, and Long Underwear
54:01 Leaving Again & Meeting Cory: Divorce, ‘Releases,’ and Starting Over
01:00:03 Joining the LDS Church… Then Seeing the Same Patterns
01:05:35 Deconstructing After Religion: Community Loss and Identity Rebuild
01:07:14 Divorce, ‘Nesting,’ Remarriage, and Learning Healthy Communication
01:10:02 Plant Medicine, Deep Healing, and Why They Started the Podcast
01:20:30 Where to Find Them + Final Advice for Anyone Trying to Leave

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In this episode of the Jaden Jeffs podcast, Leona Blackmore (born Leona Johnson) shares her story of growing up in the FLDS in Hildale/Colorado City, being married at 16 in 2001, and later living in Bountiful, BC. She explains how she wanted to marry a Canadian to be near her sister and how political tension between Warren Jeffs and Winston Blackmore affected marriages and the Canadian community. Leona describes being rushed into a secret marriage trip to Mesquite, Nevada without knowing her husband’s name until clues emerged on the way, and she recalls being married by Warren Jeffs to Joseph (Winston Blackmore’s youngest son), who was 30 and already had a wife. 

00:00 A Surprise Wedding Order: “You’re Getting Married Tomorrow”
01:05 Meet Leona Blackmore: FLDS Roots & Life in Bountiful, BC
01:51 Winston Blackmore’s Role in Canada (Bishop, Not Prophet)
03:10 Growing Up in Colorado City: “Life Was Good Back Then”
04:40 Rulon Jeffs Era: Sewing, Family Ties, and Faith
05:29 Wanting to Marry Young—and Why Canada Mattered
08:28 Warren Jeffs’ Ban on Canada Marriages & the Politics Behind It
09:54 Asking Dad to Get Married: Readiness, Pushback, and Preferences
13:36 Rushed Timeline: Wedding Dress, One Week, and No Name
18:10 Secret Nevada Caravan Wedding: Meeting the Groom at the Motel
26:39 First Days in Canada: Meeting Sister Wife & Settling In
32:30 Early Polygamy Reality Check: University in Calgary & Jealousies
36:23 First Baby, Sister Support, and Winston vs. Warren Tensions Begin
38:54 School Prayer Sparks the Split: Refusing to Acknowledge Warren Jeffs
40:36 Leadership Power Plays: Bishops, “Keys,” and the Rich Blackmore Episode
42:43 Lines Drawn in the Sand: ‘Warrenites’ vs. Everyone Else
45:03 Family Exodus & Being Labeled ‘Apostates’
47:58 Dress Codes in Canada: Colors, Patterns, and Long Underwear
50:22 Who Controls the Land? UEP Takeover and Property Wars in Bountiful
54:39 Isolation, 50/50 Community Divide, and Why the War Knights Are Fading
58:02 Marriage & Immigration: Living Between Canada and Bonners Ferry
01:00:04 2018 Tragedy and the Relationship Breakdown
01:04:05 Looking Back: Faith, Prophets, and Compassion for Everyone Involved
01:07:41 Arranged Marriage vs. Dating: Advice for the Next Generation
01:13:07 Choosing Singleness & Focusing on the Kids (Final Thoughts)

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Welcome to The Jaden Jeffs Podcast! In this episode, Jaden talks with Kye Tanner, a member of the LDS church, about his experiences with divorce, religious beliefs, and personal growth. Kye shares how he navigated the dissolution of his 22-year marriage, his journey towards self-love, and his perspective on resilience. They also discuss the impact of religious culture on personal agency and how confronting mortality reshapes one's worldview. Stay tuned for an insightful conversation on faith, vulnerability, and finding purpose.


00:41 Meet Kye Tanner: A Journey of Faith and Friendship
02:34 Navigating Divorce and Personal Growth
03:31 The Impact of Modern Connectivity on Relationships
05:17 Challenges and Reflections on LDS Church Membership
09:26 The Importance of Self-Care and Authenticity
09:49 Balancing Personal Desires and Relationship Dynamics
26:38 The Concept of Self-Betrayal and Personal Integrity
31:03 Reflections on Religion and Personal Beliefs
50:05 Personal Struggles and Religion
53:13 Finding Comfort and Self-Love
58:48 The Power of Vulnerability
01:08:41 Facing Mortality and Life's Purpose
01:24:59 Overcoming Challenges and Positive Mindset
01:40:00 Reflections and Final Thoughts

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In this episode of the Jaden Jeffs Podcast, Val Snow, a former member of the Kingston Polygamous Group, shares his powerful story of growing up in a polygamous family with 163 siblings, the abuse he faced, and his eventual escape from the group. Val discusses coming to terms with his sexuality, the challenges of leaving the cult, and his life after gaining freedom. He offers deep insights into the workings of the Kingston Group, the corruption within, and his hopes for those still trapped in the system. Val's candid and emotional recounting provides a poignant look into life inside and after a polygamous cult.

01:04 Introducing Val Snow and His Background
01:18 Growing Up in a Polygamous Family
03:36 Leaving the Kingston Group
03:57 Challenges and Reflections After Leaving
05:46 Understanding Sexuality and Personal Experiences
26:56 Sexual Abuse and Family Dynamics
29:48 Racism and Cultural Beliefs in the Cult
39:48 Financial Exploitation and Control
45:32 Discovering My Brother's Sexuality
46:05 Struggles with Self-Acceptance
48:58 Confronting Family and Leaving the Order
51:09 Dating Outside the Order
53:16 Father's Reaction and Motel Stay
57:54 Changing My Name and Escaping
01:20:16 Kicked Out and Seeking Connection
01:20:27 Financial Struggles and Illegal Banking
01:23:24 Confrontation at the Bank
01:27:07 Life After Leaving the Cult
01:34:12 Reflections on Mormonism and Cults
01:45:49 Final Thoughts and Messages

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In this episode of the Jaden Jeffs Podcast, Jaden sits down with Olivia Olson, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, to discuss her journey of faith, doubt, and return. Olivia opens up about her experiences growing up in the church, her disillusionment, and what ultimately brought her back. They touch upon various themes, including the nature of belief, human nature, and the challenges of religious doctrine. This episode offers a respectful, open-minded dialogue aimed at understanding different perspectives on Mormonism and Christianity.

00:00 Podcast Introduction and Guest Welcome
01:12 Olivia's Background and Initial Thoughts on Mormonism
02:33 Discussing Mormon Culture and Personal Experiences
04:20 Marriage and Relationships in the LDS Church
23:23 Sexuality and Religious Expectations
42:14 The Concept of Becoming Gods
42:30 Sexual Relations and Glory in the Celestial Kingdom
43:01 Beliefs of LDS Leaders
44:35 Repentance and Forgiveness in LDS Doctrine
46:37 Second Anointing and Worthiness
51:03 Cultural Influences on Religious Beliefs
01:05:41 Personal Experiences with Church Leaders
01:07:50 Struggles with Brigham Young's Legacy
01:26:20 Leaving and Returning to the Church
01:31:11 Shifting Beliefs and Understanding Mormonism
01:32:42 Struggles and Returning to Faith
01:34:49 Questioning and Comparing Religions
01:37:14 Theological Debates and Personal Reflections
02:08:58 The Complexity of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon
02:15:31 Concluding Thoughts and Humor

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