Topical jokes about Lil Wayne, Richard Branson, stripper funerals, cancer, and divorcing a man because his penis is too big.

Topical jokes about stealing dog poop, a parrot who drinks coffee, Ebola, Walmart embezzlement, North Koreans watching "The Interview", and Ben Affleck's family owning slaves.

Topical jokes about McDonald's all day breakfast, Amazon Dash, California's water shortage, a stabbing over salsa, more ISIS beheadings, and a retirement home's sexy calendar.

Topical jokes about a fire extinguisher factory, mandatory voting, Burger King cologne, George Zimmerman, and the name of Vin Diesel's baby.

Topical jokes about the Freedom of Information Act, medical marijuana for pets, having a baby in the shower, Target's new minimum wage, and Liam Neeson's semi-retirement.

Topical jokes about marijuana smuggling, a gay Star Wars character, shooting your TV, a portable meth lab, and a penis transplant.

Topical jokes about Hillary Clinton's email address, a mysterious container labelled "Not Weed", sex changes in the Army, Chris Brown's baby, the Etsy IPO, and the new merger of Boko Haram and ISIS.

Topical jokes about edible KFC cups, setting your own house on fire, legal marijuana, Vladimir Putin's critics mysteriously dying, and a man who has sex with mailboxes.

Topical jokes about Kim Kardashian, a Game of Thrones Edition of Monoply, Native Americans versus Facebook, Internet Barbie, a book donation to Princeton University, and a study about retired people.