Jon and Rod decided to update the lyrics to Baby It's Cold Outside to make them sound less creepy and make it more about a woman who can't take a hint.
I really can't stay (Here’s a consent form to sign)
I gotta go away (Or I’ll call you an Uber for a ride)
This evening has been
So very nice (For the love of God, please make up your mind)
My mother will start to worry (My goodness look at those flurries)
My father will be pacing the floor (Look there’s the freaking door!)
So really I'd better scurry ("Scurry?" Who talks like this? Who says "scurry?")
Well maybe just a half a drink more (Do you need some directions to the door)
The neighbors might think (That you can’t tell time)
Say what's in this drink? (It’s water, what are you freaking blind?)
To break this spell (I feel like I’m in the 3rd level of hell)
I ought to say no, no, no sir (Ok...baby it's "no" so get your coat)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried (Are you messing with me? I’m not going to jail this time)
I really can't stay Baby it's cold outside (Baby there’s your ride!)