coming down off a breakthrough can be a little daunting--I'm somewhere in between procrastinating, tending to my mental health & wondering how the H I'm gonna follow through on all the NEW ideas I have. I ramble about time-management & how this is about finding some balance between creating just enough & resting. 

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y’all, I friggin wrote a sooooong! THIS IS CRAZY! I talk about how allowing myself to create shitty art got me through it, but also why I actually can’t even call my new creation shit. cause, you know, it's not my job to judge, it's my job to create! 'bad’ is the new ‘good’, y’all—you’ll have to listen to figure out what that means.

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I have so much to update you on after the short break--I'm having breakthroughs around my music! In this episode I get into how this is all about repairing a RELATIONSHIP with music, about reestablishing trust & respecting boundaries. I get into how our relationsship broke down, how perfectionism, shame & even trauma play into it. also, I share how I feel myself opening up again lately. slowly.

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getting into the huge topic of external validation; how it has caused me to burn-out & how a need for it is demanding my attention these days. I talk about my shame around wanting to be seen, heard & known. the ego-driven ways the need has shown up in my life & musical career. but also how it is a fuckin valid need that we all have. we are not islands--we are here to connect. I am allowed to take up space.

mentions...

find the mentioned podcast episode: 'Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert' episode 209 

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woke up this morning thinking about the WHY. the WHY behind my showing up to create & how it differs from practice to practice. also, how it has hurt NOT knowing my WHY when it comes to music. I talk about the IG post I did on this topic today, share my day of creating & procrastinating & allow myself to take the coming weekend off to rest.

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day 7 of my musical reconnect, I travel back home to visit family. I share how I've prepared for this trip; my worries about keeping up with my daily creative practices & a lot about how I permit myself to be flexible with my practice, when my body's low on energy. I also manage to throw in a little rant about hustle culture, productivity, & tell us to goddamn TRUST & listen to our clever bodies ALWAYS! enjoy, bisch.

wrapping up day 5 of reconnecting with music & delving into some shame & ego around this whole sharing thing. I talk about how my mind seems to forget all the magical connections I AM creating & how it only seems to cares about MORE MORE MORE, be it followers, likes or listeners. exhausting & human, I know. listen to hear me talk my way back to myself again.

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doing a sunday night recap on my progress & observations of the weekend. it's day 4 of reconnecting with music--some stuff is working & some is def not! I'm exploring how I can keep it simple AF. also, I finally reveal the secret project I've been working on for two weeks! lots of joy & hope in this one. enjoy!

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