it's my first day of committing to 5 min's of daily music creation! I share with you how my this day went, how I handled the inevitable procrastination, prepped myself & how my body reacted afterwards. after 3+ years in a severe creative block, I'm excited & hopeful & in awe of myself for friggin doing the work! this is a creative recovery in real time, y'all.

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music is on my mind, y'all, so in this episode I ponder how to I can set myself up to succeed in this. I go through 3 deals I want to take with myself before re-approaching the anxiety-filled space that is 'writing music'. also, I share with you an update & revelation I JUST had about my long sought-after WHY--my reason to create music. 

YES--it is true. I have a little itsy bitsy breakthrough I'm gonna share with you in this episode. after being in my head for several days, I've come to some deep longings around my creativity; I share with you why I am thinking about TRYING to maybe create music again--whaaat! there are some big highs & lows in this one, y'all. (btw, my apologies for the microphone noise at the end)

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yes, spending most of my bed can be uneventful, though 'luckily' my brain still turned some tricks for me to share with ya'. I go through the thoughts I have about DELETING (!!!) episode 13, how that episode was extra-ordinarily vulnerable for me & how I'm dealing with the vulnerability hangover it of course gave me today.

embracing the darkness & allowing myself to talk about in this episode. this is haaaaard, y'all! I talk about the fear of being swallowed by the heavy emotions & the fear of letting the darkness into my art--shame is all over the place in this one. so this is a reminder that we are still allowed to be here on shitty days, that we are still worthy of taking up space & creating.

mental health issues SUCK! I talk about how my mental health & the physical limitations surrounding them can be real fearmongers for me & my creative dreams. I tell my story of burn out, how it has opened new creative doors & try to remind myself (& you) to trust that our future is bright. we will get through this. this will get better.

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noticing how I'm trying to control the outcome of these entries. I dig deeper into why that is & how reconnecting with trust, my intuition & knowing I am enough are the antidote. this is me practicing letting go, showing up authentically, generously, vulnerably. no plan, no scheduled agenda. just me surrendering. 

find Amie McNee (my creativity coach)

perfectionism & shame have a friend--and its name is judgement! again today, I go into a shame/perfectionism reaction from my day, but this time acknowledge another layer, judgement. I eloborate on how I judge myself, & how judging others is basically judging myself too. look out for when I name drop the IG artist Florence Given & throw the word internalized misogyni into the mix.

I share with you a shame triggering experience I had today around choosing the creative life. I reveal my 4 limiting beliefs and shame voices & how I combat them. & of course I name drop the infamous Brené Brown (links below).

Brené Brown

OR visit MJ's IG highlight 'MJ FAVES' on her profile page. link below.

my inner child pops its adorable self in in this journal entry! I talk about boundaries around creating, how I tell the difference between procrastination & needing to rest, & how I'm rebuilding trust within myself & my creativity. sending love to our magical inner children.

the podcast is now available om Apple Podcasts, Google Podcast, Spotify & more. visit my instagram for links and to connect.