The Joyful Life

Today we are talking about uncertainty and its link to anxiety.  I will give you some tips on how to manage this uncertainty in yourself and how to teach your kids how to manage uncertainty.. 

I decided to create this specific podcast because I have experienced a LOT of uncertainty in my life.  I’ll give you a little background into my life before I share what has been happening. 

President Russell M. Nelson “The Joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”    

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/10/joy-and-spiritual-survival?lang=eng

President Russell M. Nelson “Seek and Expect Miracles.”  

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/47nelson?lang=eng

President Russell M. Nelson "The Lord loves effort." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2020/04/14jones?lang=eng

“We know that all is impermanent;  we know that everything wears out.  Although we can buy this truth intellectually, emotionally we have a deep-rooted aversion to it.  We want permanence;  we expect permanence.  Our natural tendency is to seek security;  we believe we can find it.  We experience impermanence at the every day level as frustration.  We use our daily activity as a shield against the fundamental ambiguity of our situation, expending tremendous energy trying to ward off impermanence and death.   We don’t like it that our bodies change shape.  We don’t like it that we age.  We are afraid of wrinkles and sagging skin.  We use health products as if we actually believe that our skin, our hair, our eyes and teeth, might somehow miraculously escape the truth of impermanence.” Pemo Chödrön “Comfortable With Uncertainty,” pg. 14  

We are talking about living our lives on offense and how doing this can reduce anxiety in our lives.

I’m not talking about being offended. I am talking about choosing to not live defensively, but instead choosing to live our lives offensively.

When we are living our lives on defense we are constantly reacting to what is happening around us.  We react to what others say and do and we may not always be happy with the way we are acting and this can create anxiety for us.  When we don't like the way we show up in the world we have contention inside of us that eats away at us. 

When we are living our lives on offense we are intentionally choosing how we will show up in the world.  We are deciding how we will respond to what is happening around us.

“Holiness to the Lord says no to the profane, no to snarky cleverness at others’ expense, no to algorithms that monetize anger and polarization. Holiness to the Lord says yes to the sacred and reverent, yes to our becoming our freest, happiest, most authentic, best selves as we follow Him in faith.” Elder Gong (“Holiness to the Lord in Everyday Life,” Elder Gong, October 2024, General Conference).

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ftsoy/2024/11/12-gong?lang=eng

“Being sincerely Christlike is an even more important goal than being authentic.” Elder Quintin L. Cook

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/image/meme-cook-sincerely-christlike-authentic-f20719f?lang=eng

Book of Ether https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/ether?lang=eng

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/32?lang=eng

D&C 3:2 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/3?lang=eng

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/heb/13?lang=eng

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/heb/12?lang=eng

President Nelson “You have your agency to choose contention or reconciliation. I urge you to choose to be a peacemaker, now and always.” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/47nelson?lang=eng

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/broadcasts/worldwide-devotional-for-young-adults/2022/05/11nelson?lang=eng

Today, we’re diving into a topic that’s often overlooked: the way we speak about others and its impact on anxiety—for both the person speaking and those around them.

We will also talk about why we don’t want to talk poorly of others, how to stop our negative talk, and how to speak more positively of others.   

The way we speak about others may seem harmless or even entertaining at the moment it is happening, however those seemingly innocent discussions may quietly feed anxiety and stress in your life.  

N. Eldon Tanner “Judge Not, That Ye Be Not Judged,” April 1972, General Conference.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1972/04/judge-not-that-ye-be-not-judged?lang=eng

“Judging Others, Stop It!”  Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference, April 2012.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2012-03-1170-judging-others-stop-it?lang=eng

Today’s topic is about the way we speak about ourselves and the impact that can have on anxiety.

The way we talk about ourselves has a positive or negative affect on the way we feel.

When we have negative language about ourselves we fill our lives with anxiety.

We will talk about how we very easily, without even realizing we are doing it, speak poorly of ourselves.

We will discuss how to stop our poor language habits so that we can find more peace and confidence.

John 6:35, 41, 48, 51

John 8:12

John 10:7, 9

John 10:11,14

John 11:25

John 14:6

John 15:1, 5

John 8

Lao-Tze "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny"

Mosiah 4:30

Moses 1

Matthew 7:7

Galatians 6:7

Elder Rasband, "Words Matter," October 2024, General Conference,

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/04/41rasband?lang=eng

Elder Juan Pablo Villar "His Hand Ready to Help us," October 2024, General Conference,

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/10/23villar?lang=eng

D&C 18:10

Two Wolves Video: https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-iba-syn&ei=UTF-8&hsimp=yhs-syn&hspart=iba¶m1=rH5Cts4b3ZodvXRh7HNW9rNd74XnCVdBQT%2F38GMBHjg1iIHHR%2BGoEnr71PNSU9jq¶m2=9dUI1n2R0BLDxNuWfiP4aWyjOZc2NBa%2Bx2opBYQCDMSB7nBAfwbAzkkglZNKi5o21u72Jm8TatlnU7NDGbP7F8Lft0aXvravgWuUt1wLTDRGoZDy1s38eFH2mqhQf7J35YCbQdFh0U0Q40PE25%2BEeG%2Bt%2By660cfFWnTypqgOdcA8eqHVY39NSkDustAs9ioc9yKBuY54fA1nGhZr63YYDj3EOiChiYqSaC91uY5NN32Tg845kaWmg2PPgxqRxgIWwlZBTHSL8uHHVEUcCXLyWYI3%2Bl0ZksbvkRsadk9soi8%3D¶m3=NwVEMR%2FzKcG52XsVBYEh2zk2Yklq85vdfspZPoqz2M1qypHRDDTed5vIiOf0QJloJAws3N4BZ2OFCPQG%2BRw4WpTnzaTq2VmIHxERXcUW3rVQCtxOG%2BsIEOUp0%2Ff9ylXTGucyJu3wBF4BE4auNWzgxBvqbFCGrVGQ9GkQ%2BSUskULq7Aa34uRitq6qGMHZgv2NKQBCIYQWzCiBaQ%2FexgeOL1XZSdA9HlhYXPntAAYMP0%2BCU3NPkZtpaJa7xlPBXdegJbTHhRjBM9eIZ9QsGlIf5wo4rMVJkSSGx8htsET%2FMobMDZKm8SZ0nfYgMaIk931JJyVR9IOcawvBkqGM4rjjpzjT2B6M5x3gVqmcVdn4OlxwrxcoMYUnpOaDF3p5heB3jWJQeoruIIkiCBr%2Byq0Fh%2BJuMRlApGYNfzkQ5vmmzxRcBAT77AqVWGqtfimCdhil%2F6%2Fql9nGxd3xinPe3f4O%2B9hVY2OIYjKvS4hWJwHf8qk%3D¶m4=RAJYWrOAutHJIgHbSw2DACXhTCkrEbpieX54HHj7avY%3D&p=cherokee+legend+about+two+wolves&type=asbw_8063_CHW_US#id=1&vid=8976dbb47af900a45e7ec648c66e0e0f&action=click

Today we are talking about how being our best selves can reduce anxiety.

Anxiety is a natural response to stress and can stem from the fear that we are not good enough.  Being our best selves is one of the ways that we can combat anxiety. 

When we decide that we will always be our best selves, meaning we show up in the world as the very best person we know how to be, we align ourselves with our values and we begin to reduce anxiety in our lives.

Each of us is responsible for our own lives.  The only person who can make me great is me.  This isn’t anyone else’s responsibility, but mine.  I’m the one that has to do the work to be my best self.  

David O. McKay “You are the one who has to decide whether you’ll do it or toss it aside; whether you’ll strive for the goal that’s afar, or just be content to stay where you are.”  

The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks by Thomas F. Cash.

The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D.

 “The Four Agreements,” Don Miguel Ruiz, Pg. 77

“Be Your Best Self,” Thomas S. Monson, Pg. 45

Wayne Gretsky “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

“I urge youth to not take counsel of their fears. I hope they will not say, 'I’m not smart enough to study chemical engineering; hence, I’ll study something less strenuous. I can’t apply myself sufficiently well to study this difficult subject or in this difficult field; hence, I’ll choose the easier way.' I plead with youth to choose the hard way and to tax their talents, and our Heavenly Father will make them equal to their tasks. If one should stumble, if one should take a course and get less than the A grade desired, I hope such a one will not let it discourage him. I hope that he will rise and try again.” (Thomas S. Monson, “Be Your Best Self,” pg 133).

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Those who obtain other talents receive more talents in abundance. But those who do not obtain other talents shall lose even the talents they had initially.” (“Parables of Jesus: The Parable of the Talents,” Elder Ronald A. Rasband, August 2003).

“Our destiny is not determined by the number of times we stumble but by the number of times we rise up, dust ourselves off, and move forward.” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “You can do it Now!” Ensign, Nov. 2013, 55)

Today we are talking about how procrastination can create anxiety.

I am going to give you some tips on how to stop procrastinating which will help with anxiety.  You are going to love it!

Procrastination is essentially not keeping commitments to ourselves.  When we aren’t keeping commitments to ourselves we don’t trust ourselves.  Which is crazy, because we actually have complete control over ourselves.  We are the ones that create our own lives.  We are in the driver’s seat and the sooner we realize this truth the sooner we begin to have more peace in our lives and we begin to create the lives that we want to be living.  

Dr. Tim Pychyl https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/dont-delay/201607/procrastination-101-its-not-about-feeling-it

President Spencer W. Kimball and “Do it now.”  

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2007/10/do-it-now?lang=eng

We are talking about how having goals can help us reduce anxiety.  I’m very excited about this topic because I know it will help a lot of people realize why setting goals is so awesome and why people who set goals have a tendency to have less anxiety in their lives and more confidence.  

“A Theory of Goal Setting and Task Performance.”

Matthew 19:26

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3827458/

“First, think about your life and set your priorities. Find some quiet time regularly to think deeply about where you are going and what you will need to do to get there. Jesus, our exemplar, often ‘withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed’ (Luke 5:16). We need to do the same thing occasionally to rejuvenate ourselves spiritually as the Savior did. Write down the tasks you would like to accomplish each day. Keep foremost in mind the sacred covenants you have made with the Lord as you write down your daily schedules.

“Second, set short-term goals that you can reach. Set goals that are well balanced—not too many nor too few, and not too high nor too low. Write down your attainable goals and work on them according to their importance. Pray for divine guidance in your goal setting” (“Keeping Life’s Demands in Balance,” Ensign, May 1987, 14).

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/the-gospel-and-the-productive-life-student-manual-2018/chapter-3?lang=eng

I love today’s topic:  

I had 3 names I vacillated between for today’s topic:

We are going to dig into how you can find peace and reduce anxiety when you stop making everything about you.  

We will talk about why we make things all about us, and how this causes us to have anxiety.  Then we will talk about how to stop doing this so that we can have peace.

President Nelson:

Elder Bednar :

You will love today’s topic on control and anxiety.

One of the things I have come across again and again while coaching and in my own life is the desire to want people to behave in specific ways.  

This desire to force others to act the way we think is best can create anxiety in our lives.  This is because we can’t control others.  

When you understand this concept you will begin to see it everywhere and it will change your relationships and your life for the better.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/video/face-to-face-events/2024-october-youth-worldwide-broadcast-celebration-of-light?lang=eng

“None of us can control nations or the actions of others or even members of our own families. But we can control ourselves. My call today, dear brothers and sisters, is to end conflicts that are raging in your heart, your home, and your life.”

President Nelson, “The Power of Spiritual Momentum,” General Conference, April 2022.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/47nelson?lang=eng

“Focus on Jesus Christ” General conference, October 2024, Elder I. Raymond Egbo

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2024/10/56egbo?lang=eng

“peace means either freedom from conflict and turmoil or the inner calm and comfort born of the Spirit that God gives to His faithful Saints.” 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/gs/peace?lang=eng

“You have your agency to choose contention or reconciliation. I urge you to choose to be a peacemaker, now and always.”

President Nelson, “Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, April 2023.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/47nelson?lang=eng

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/satan?lang=eng