Before I became a board-certified behavioral analyst, I was a special education teacher working in schools with the district’s most challenging students. I’ve also raised my two daughters, and parenting my own children has had the least amount of influence on why I am a capable parent, educator, and behavior analyst. Having your own kids and being a good parent is a wonderful thing that anyone should be proud of, but it doesn’t make you a parenting expert, and that’s what I’m going to cover in today’s episode.

It is so important that people who have training, experience, and ability use important behavioral principles to guide their parenting decision-making. Let’s face it, parents are struggling all around us and we see them everywhere. They’re struggling to figure out what they need to do to get their children to make better choices and guide them towards growth and development. A huge part of the problem is where these parents are getting their information. Here, I discuss why some of the advice from so-called “parenting experts” is problematic. I cover why using an evidence-based plan is one of the best ways to tackle tough parenting issues. I’ll also share with you some of the most common misconceptions about using both punishment and praise and how the 7 Steps can help you.

What’s Inside:

• Why some of today’s advice from “parenting experts” is problematic.
• Misconceptions about punishment and praise.
• How the 7 Steps can assist you with making better parenting choices.

Mentioned In This Episode:

Just 7 Steps YouTube
Just7Steps.com/workshop

Today’s guest is Paige, the mother of a young man named Aiden. Paige and her son live in sunny California and Paige is on the show today to talk about her experiences. She shares about her journey with Aiden and what ultimately led her to taking my parenting course on the seven steps. Aiden just turned 15 and has an autism diagnosis. He’s also been diagnosed with language speech delay, ADHD, ODD, and OCD. He’s extremely receptive with high communication but sending out information isn’t one of his strengths.

Paige discovered the seven steps through working with an ABA professional. This particular individual had a different approach than others and Paige soaked up everything she could from her. After taking the course, Paige’s relationship with Aiden improved significantly. She actually wound up taking the course twice because she wanted to really understand the material. Paige especially recommends the course to people who might not be able to get into ABA services right away or who might not have the resources. I’m so glad Paige was able to join me today and hearing how the seven steps helped her and Aiden is an inspiration for other families as well.

What’s Inside:

• How Paige discovered the seven steps.
• Paige’s experience taking the parenting course.
• How the seven steps have helped improve her relationship with her son.

Mentioned In This Episode:
Just 7 Steps YouTube

Whatever you define as screen time in your household, one thing families have in common is the desire to limit it without their kids putting up a fight. Regardless of how much screen time your kids currently get, I promise you there are families out there whose kids get less. The actual amount of time kids spend on their screens is less important than the fact that the amount is often far more than their parents would prefer. This episode covers all things screen time related, include to limit it without causing a fuss.

If you’re like most families, you probably have some limits set around screen time in your household. The average amount of time kids spend in front of screens has dramatically increased over the last several years, with the pandemic causing these rates to skyrocket. Here, we’ll cover how to set limits that make sense for your family and how to gradually wean your kids off too much screen time in a practical manner. I share a simple sample plan based on a family I worked with, designed with a three-hour upper limit. You’ll also get a list of aspects to go through as you’re working through making adjustments.

What’s Inside:

• How to define how much screen time works for your family.
• A simple plan to limit screen time without a fuss.
• A list of aspects to consider as you’re setting limits and making changes.

Mentioned In This Episode:

Just 7 Steps YouTube
Just7Steps.com/Workshop

Today, I have a very special guest on the show, Dr. Megan Miller. Dr. Miller was the co-founder of Navigation Behavioral Consulting and she served as the CEO of Peak ABA Solutions. She earned her Ph.D. in special education and behavior analysis at the Ohio State University in 2015. Dr. Miller's early training and behavior analysis occurred at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Autism as a volunteer intern in 2003. Since then, she’s taught courses in behavior analysis and special education as an adjunct professor for several universities and co-authored journal articles published in several prestigious outlets. And even with all of that, she still has found time to help me write the very popular book, The Seven Steps to Instructional Control, which was first published back in 2014.

Together, Dr. Miller and I discuss how she first became aware of the 7 Steps and how she got involved in further developing it with me. We also talk about how she’s adjusted the way she’s been using the steps in the more recent years, especially when it comes to more compassionate education and neurological diversity. We’re currently working on a brand-new edition of the 7 Steps and Dr. Miller shares her thoughts on the value it brings in combination with other new developments in the field of ABA. She also shares some valuable advice for parents who might be struggling with their child’s behavior.

What’s Inside:

• How Dr. Miller became involved in working with me and the 7 Steps.
• How to use the 7 Steps in today’s environment of compassionate education and neurodiversity.
• Practical advice for parents struggling with a child’s behavior, regardless of diagnosis.

Mentioned In This Episode:
Just7Steps on YouTube

How often do you notice when your children are doing the right thing? When you do notice it, do you reinforce it or tend to go about your business? Many parents only get involved when a kid’s behavior starts to turn negative. If that’s you, know you aren’t alone. In this episode, I share all of the reasons why only focusing on the negative is a habit you need to break. Focusing only on negative behavior is easy when you have challenging children, but it’s really important to see the positives in them every single day.

When you focus solely on trying to reduce negative behavior, you can easily fall into the role of punisher from the child’s perspective. This can make them feel like mom or dad only sees the worst in them, or they only receive guidance when they’re being reprimanded or corrected. When you work on noticing and reinforcing all of the positive behaviors from your children, it increases that behavior and empowers them to make good choices on their own.

What’s Inside:

• Why only focusing on negative behavior is a bad habit.
• A real-life example of what happens when parents don’t reinforce the positive.
• Why honoring the positive behavior in your kids helps them make better choices.

Mentioned In This Episode:
Just7Steps.com/workshop
Just 7 Steps on YouTube

What is a behavior type, and do we all have them? What do behavior types say about our kids? Science shows us that every behavior, no matter how big or small, has a purpose or function. Behavior analysts typically group behavior purposes into useful functions that give us some kind of idea about how we would or wouldn’t reinforce them. Many times, the purpose of a certain behavior is to get the attention of another person. Other times, a behavior might be used to remove or reduce the influence of others, or to escape.

While some people tend to have set behavior types, others change their behavior from moment to moment. Behavior analysts often teach parents and therapists to try to always identify the specific function of a behavior and respond to it in a specific way. This can be difficult when behavior is often dependent on a changing environment. One of the benefits of using the 7 steps is that, once you’ve identified the behavior, you can simply focus on not reinforcing it, regardless of its type.

What’s Inside:

• The three main types of behavior and how to identify them.
• The fourth behavior type and why it’s important to understand.
• How you can use the 7 Steps to reduce problematic behavior, regardless of the type.
  
  

Mentioned In This Episode:

Just7Steps.com/quiz

*Disclaimer: Around the 16-minute mark, Robert says, “but step seven does teach us to start with small, easy to achieve versions of the behavior…” – “Step seven” should be corrected to “step five”.

Does your child live a mostly sedentary lifestyle? Would they rather spend their days on the computer or couch? If your kids aren’t excited about physical activity, this episode will hopefully help you build a little more exercise into their schedule. Just like everything else, if someone doesn’t like to do something naturally, we can’t expect them to start enjoying it without question. If your kid doesn’t like to be active, you’re going to have to find a way for them to become more comfortable over time and be encouraged enough to exercise on their own.

You can start by investing time in your child’s current interests. See if there’s anything you can incorporate to help them meet their physical activity goals. For example, if your child loves Disney characters, you could create a Disney-themed scavenger hunt to get them walking.  You could also use reinforcers, like a token system. With physical activity, it’s smart to start small and increase the difficulty over time. Whatever your strategy, the goal is always to get your kids to do things without having to push or nag them.

What’s Inside:

• How to use your child’s current interests to get them to exercise more.
• How using a token system can encourage physical activity.
• How starting small helps achieve easy, sustainable successes.

Mentioned In This Episode:

Just7Steps.com/workshop 

Have you ever wondered what exactly is considered punishment? Is it possible to avoid the use of punishment altogether when raising our children? And what about extinction? Here, I cover consequences and the things that give us reason to repeat a behavior or not in the future. The principle of punishment has such a negative connotation and is one of the most misunderstood terms in our language. The true scientific meaning for punishment is a consequence or technique that leads to a reduction in a specific behavior.

There are three basic consequence types: reinforcement, punishment, and extinction. Some behavioral principles are preferable to others and deserve more prioritization. When it comes to positive and negative reinforcement, using a positive approach is always going to result in a better outcome. Community and cultural perspectives regarding behavior are always changing. As parents and guardians, we have to be able to see the world through these changing perspectives and stay aware of our biases.

What’s Inside:

• Definitions of the three basic consequence types
• Reduction techniques and how to use them to stop behaviors
• Why positive reinforcement is better than negative reinforcement

Mentioned In This Episode:

Just7Steps.com/quiz

Ask parents what the worst part about raising school-age children is and, chances are, they’ll say it’s homework. After completing a full day of school, the last thing kids feel like doing is their homework, and the last thing parents want to do is fight them on it. No matter what behavior your kids are exhibiting towards homework, there are things you can do to motivate them, reinforce good behaviors, and apply the strategies I cover to your own unique situation.

Using positive reinforcement helps produce more of the behavior you want to see in your kids, including getting them to finish their homework. Finding a motivation that’s strong enough and occurs often enough can get your kid to complete their work on a day-by-day basis. Once you determine a good reinforcer, you’ll then need to decide how often to provide it for it to be effective. Kids are motivated by a variety of different things, and no two kids are alike. Some children are motivated by their parents’ attention, while others would rather spend time alone or play video games. Breaking down homework into smaller, more manageable chunks may also help get the job done.

What’s Inside:

• Why using positive reinforcement makes homework worth doing.
• How to identify reinforcers and when to make them available.
• Homework strategies to use with younger children.

Mentioned In This Episode:
Just7Steps.com/workshop

Have you ever felt like your kids don’t respect you the way you think they should? Do you compare things to the relationship between you and your own parents? One of the most important things to look at are the root causes of respect and a parenting relationship. Much has changed since the parenting styles of the old days. The good news is that there are several ways to earn your child’s respect without resorting to yelling, hitting, or intimidation.

As parents, it’s easy to confuse respect with enforcement of obedience. Respect is defined as a feeling of deep admiration for someone elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. By reframing respect under this lens, you can demonstrate your value to your children as someone who deserves their respect instead of using intimidation. Archaic scare tactics that were frequently used by parents in the past can make you into someone kids want to avoid or are annoyed by, which isn’t good when it comes to developing genuine bonds and relationships. Just like in adult relationships, if you’re not likable, you’ll truly never be respected.

What’s Inside:

• The definitions of respect and authority.
• The history of how respect was earned in parenting relationships of the past.
• Positive punishers and why using them works against you as a parent.

Mentioned In This Episode:
Just7Steps.com/workshop
Robert Schramm on YouTube