The Just Checking In Podcast

In episode 136 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with sports journalist Charlie Eccleshare. Charlie is the Tottenham Hotspur Correspondent for The Athletic UK. He also co-hosts the Spurs podcast ‘View From The Lane’ and appears regularly on the Totally Football Show podcast and Football Clichés podcast respectively. In this episode we discuss Charlie’s journey into sports journalism and how he arrived at The Athletic UK where he is today. For industry issues, we talk about the constant pressure and slight anxiety of ‘putting yourself out there’ that journalists like Charlie do with his comment pieces and articles and the scrutiny that comes with it. We also discuss the lack of social mobility currently in the journalism industry and what needs to happen to address it. For Charlie’s mental health we discuss a breakup he went through with his now wife a few years ago, the ‘grief’ he experienced through it and how he overcame it and got back to a healthy place with his mental health. As always, #itsokaytoventYou can follow Charlie on social media below: Twitter: https://twitter.com/CDEccleshareListen to The Football Clichés podcast here: https://theathletic.com/podcast/164-football-cliches/You can pre-order Charlie's upcoming book 'The Beautiful Poetry of Football Commentary' here: https://geni.us/BeautifulPoetryFCSupport Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvk

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In episode 135 of The Just Checking In Podcast, our Founder Freddie Cocker decided to sit down with his friend and previous JCIP guest Lloyd Taylor to reflect on the three years since their last interview. In this episode, they discuss Freddie's self-harm recovery journey, healing from sexual abuse through EMDR therapy and exiting what he describes as a 'trauma state' for the last 20 years.He also talks about the challenges of dating as a man when you're public about your mental health, no longer living with acne and the grief he went through when one of his EMDR therapists took her own life in 2021.As always, #itsokaytovent You can read the article Freddie wrote about his EMDR therapist here: https://vent.org.uk/how-do-you-grieve-when-your-therapist-diesYou can read the article Freddie wrote about his acne here: https://vent.org.uk/a-mask-you-cant-take-off-living-with-adult-acneYou can read the article Freddie wrote about doing EMDR therapy here: https://vent.org.uk/reconciling-with-your-inner-child-and-healing-from-trauma-what-its-like-to-do-emdr-therapyYou can read the three articles Freddie wrote about childhood sexual abuse (CSA) below:Breaking My Silence - Part One: https://vent.org.uk/breaking-my-silenceBreaking My Silence - Part Two: https://vent.org.uk/breaking-my-silence-part-twoBreaking My Silence - Part Three: https://vent.org.uk/breaking-my-silence-part-threeYou can listen to parts one and two of Freddie's journey on the podcast below: JCIP #10 - Freddie Cocker - Part 1: https://soundcloud.com/venthelpuk/jcip-10-freddie-cocker-part-1JCIP #10 - Freddie Cocker - Part 2: https://soundcloud.com/venthelpuk/jcip-10-freddie-cocker-part-2Support Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvkTRIGGER WARNING: This podcast contains a discussion about sexual abuse which some listeners may find distressing or upsetting, so please listen with caution.

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In episode 134 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with Jennifer Lahl.Jennifer is the Founder and President of The Centre for Bioethics and Culture Network. Jennifer couples her 25 years of experience as a paediatric critical care nurse, a hospital administrator and a senior-level nursing manager with a deep passion to speak for those who have no voice. In this episode we cover the topic of surrogacy and egg donation through a mental health lens, which Jennifer is an expert on.Jennifer has made two films on surrogacy called ‘#BigFertility’ and ‘Breeders: A Subclass of Women?’. She has also made two films on egg donation called ‘Eggsploitation’ and ‘Maggie's Story’. We do a deep diver into Eggsploitation and Big Fertility respectively in this episode.These films expose what is going on in the surrogacy industry and tells the stories of women who have got involved in it. In this episode we talk about the truth behind surrogacy, why a surrogate birth is so much riskier than a natural birth and the mental health impact on surrogates who have to give up the children they give birth to, back to the parents who have paid for it. We ethically explore whether there can ever be a morally correct path for someone to be a surrogate, are arguments against surrogacy homophobic and the statistics behind surrogate deaths post-childbirth.For Jennifer’s mental health, Jennifer spent an entire year in hospital as a 10 year old which had a huge impact on her life. We discuss the negatives of it and the positives in how it inspired her to take this healthcare journey, her parents divorce as an adult and the toll that working in critical care took on her mental health. As always, #itsokaytoventYou can watch Big Fertility on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvQP7JSydMwYou can watch Eggsploitation on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAMrwAGR3GAYou can follow Jennifer on Twitter below: Twitter: https://twitter.com/JenniferLahlSupport Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvk

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In episode 133 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with Michael from Silenced by Stigma. Silenced by Stigma supports male survivors of sexual and domestic abuse by advocating for awareness of sexual violence, providing critically needed resources for victims and their loved ones and offering prevention and training programs to allied organisations.Silenced by Stigma offers voice to the voiceless & helps ignored victims stand up and speak out.In this episode we discuss how and why Michael decided to start the platform and the podcast, the research and statistics in male victim-survivors of sexual abuse and the ambitions he has to change the conversation around sexual abuse and consent laws. We also discuss Michael's own experience of childhood sexual abuse. Michael was sexually abused as a child and adolescent by two female perpetrators.We explore the events surrounding the two periods of abuse, how he tried to get justice for one of them and failed due to being let down by the justice system and the taboos and misconceptions around female sexual abuse perpetrators.As always, #itsokaytoventFind out more about Silenced By Stigma and how to listen to the podcast here: https://linktr.ee/silenced_by_stigmaYou can follow Silenced By Stigma on social media below: Twitter: https://twitter.com/sbstigmaSupport Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvkTRIGGER WARNING: This podcast contains deep and detailed discussions about suicide and sexual abuse, which some listeners may find extremely upsetting or distressing, so please listen with caution.

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In episode 132 of The Just Checking In Podcast, we checked in with male detransitioner TullipR.Tullip is based in the UK and contacted us after our JCIP with Limpidă to share his story.Tullip started life as a very gender non-conforming child but struggled with being small and effeminate. He said he had a lot of internalised homophobia after coming to the realisation he was gay. Tullip suffered from intense and debilitating panic attacks from a very early age and was hospitalised with one when he was just 4 years old. Tullip admits he externalised the battle he was having onto other kids and was a bully in his primary school years. However, when he got to secondary school and he failed to develop in size and height like the rest of his peers, in a rough peer group, his effeminate nature and being small led him to being bullied and horrifically abused himself. When he was 10 years old, he was also spending a huge amount of time on his computer and began to go on internet chatrooms and was groomed by older men who sexually abused him online.By the time he was 13 years old he became an agoraphobe and he stopped going outside regularly for the best part of 15 years. Combining this with gender dysphoria, Tullip began to struggle immensely with his mental health.Tullip has a high diagnosed OCD and is still in the process of getting a diagnosis for autism.By the time he's in his early 20s, he is on trans chatrooms and asked other users if he was trans because of the symptoms he was experiencing. They affirmed him and he came out as trans and began the process to present as female.He became convinced that he needed gender reassignment surgery. However, this went horribly wrong.Despite the doubts he had about the surgery, he thought that if he didn’t do this, he would die. The surgery had huge complications and he has now been left without gonads and may be on HRT for the rest of his life. His urethra was constricted and shortened through three separate surgeries and he must live with the complications of this forever.We discuss all of this and more in our conversation with Tullip. As always, #itsokaytoventYou can follow Tullip on social media below: Twitter: https://twitter.com/TullipRYou can subscribe to his Substack here: https://tullipr.substack.com/Support Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvkTRIGGER WARNING: This podcast contains a deep and detailed discussion about sexual abuse and self-harm, which some listeners may find extremely upsetting or distressing so please listen with caution.

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In episode 131 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with journalist Charlie Peters.Charlie is currently a columnist for Mail+ and has written for the likes of Spiked, The Telegraph and the American Conservative. In this episode we discuss a GB News panel discussion he did with author Nina Power about masculinity and the themes he discussed, free speech and cancel culture through a mental health lens.We then talk about a self-described ‘wobble’ he had during his second year of university, how he’s utilised self-development to improve his mental health and better himself and why we need an individual-based approach to men’s mental health, not a one-size-fits-all.As always, #itsokaytoventYou can follow Charlie on social media below: Twitter: https://twitter.com/CDP1882Watch that discussion on GB News here: https://twitter.com/CDP1882/status/1490430700494934020You can read the American Conservative article we referenced here: https://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/the-rise-of-onlyfans-and-its-patreon-for-porn-model/Support Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvk

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In episode 130 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with twin brothers Connor Smart & Lewis Smart. Connor is an old friend and former work colleague of our Founder Freddie Cocker.Connor Lewis are originally from Plymouth. Connor is quite anti-social media and decided to move away from London to start a new life in Lincoln free of as much technological distractions as possible. Lewis works in public affairs and the two are very much their own men with contrasting philosophies, values and ideas about life. In this episode we talk about how they grew up together as twins and why they are thankful their parents allowed them to explore and forge themselves as their own unique individuals. For Lewis’s mental health, we discuss how he developed himself as an individual and learning to strive ahead in life without Connor to rely on for support and why he found that empowering once he’d adjusted. We also discuss how he views the next stage of his life as he closes in on 30 and the person he wants to be.For Connor, he was one of the very first writers for Vent. His article was entitled; ‘What Happens After We Talk? Making Sure Our Words on Mental Health Lead to Actions Towards a Healthier Life’. In this article, Connor talked about going to the funeral of a close friend who had taken his own life. We explore the grief he experienced in this article, what helped him manage it and what men can do to improve and live as healthy lives as possible. We finish the pod by talking about Freddie and Connor’s friendship, how they instantly clicked as they were on opposite ends of the introvert/extrovert spectrum, carrying a Christmas tree through West London, the ‘Connor correctional curve’ and a whole heap of philosophical discussions through a mental health lens are littered throughout.As always, #itsokaytoventYou can read the article Connor wrote for Vent here: https://vent.org.uk/what-happens-after-we-talk-making-sure-our-words-on-mental-health-lead-to-actions-towards-a-healthier-lifeSupport Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvk

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In episode 129 of The Just Checking In Podcast we checked in with Katherine aka Default Friend.Katherine has a Substack called Default Wisdom where she writes about sex and dating, internet history and has an advice column for people who need their burning dilemmas answered. She is also the host of the ‘The Computer Room’ podcast.In this episode we discuss how she came to adopt the name Default Friend, where she believes women are going wrong in dating and what impact those choices have on their mental health, hook-up culture and why the concept of shame isn’t always a bad thing. We also discuss Katherine’s experience of anxiety, specifically severe social anxiety and health anxiety. As always, #itsokaytoventYou can read and subscribe to Default Wisdom here: https://defaultfriend.substack.com/You can follow Katherine on social media below:Twitter: https://twitter.com/default_friendSupport Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvk

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In episode 128 of The Just Checking In Podcast, we checked in with Limpidă. Limpidă is a male detransitioner from the U.S.A whose pseudonym means 'pure' or or 'clarity' in Romanian.Detransitioned males are some of, if not THE most stigmatised men on the planet. The very few that have gone public with their stories go by pseudonyms like Limpidă to protect their identity.L as we call him on the pod for short detransitioned in May 2021 when his worldview that he believed he was a woman fell apart. L is autistic and talks about living with autogynephilia which he says contributed towards his desire to transition to live as a trans woman.He also had a porn addiction which he said contributed to it as well.In this episode we discuss self-harm he did in the form of nail-biting and the high levels of health anxiety he had as a child. We move on to discuss his teenage years and how he felt an outcast for being a gender stereotype non-conforming male. He was bullied for being a sensitive and sometimes effeminate boy and would often be accused of being gay because he preferred hanging out with girls instead of hyper-masculine males who would pick on him. L then got into a toxic long-term relationship with a girl who was also autistic and ended up transitioning herself to a trans man. L says that this relationship involved him being asked by his partner to perform consensual but BDSM sexual acts on them. He was deeply uncomfortable with doing this and made him internalise fears of being a predator and rapist. He says 'feminist ideology' encouraged him to identify as non-binary and then as a woman and we discuss how hearing the phrase ‘toxic masculinity’ made him feel like his masculinity was something he wanted to escape from. L then joined a left-wing cult whilst at university and found it difficult to retain what he had left of his mental health through this abusive environment. He went to a Planned Parenthood clinic, started taking oestrogen aged 21 and transitioned to live as a trans woman before his eventual detransition a few years later.Thank you to Limpidă for being our first male detransitioner on the JCIP!As always, #itsokaytoventYou can read and subscribe to Limpidă's substack here: https://strigoi.substack.com/You can follow him on social media below: Twitter: https://twitter.com/americandog1998Support Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvkTRIGGER WARNING: This podcast contains a deep and detailed discussion of self-harm, which some listeners may find distressing or upsetting, so please listen with caution.

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In episode 127 of The Just Checking In Podcast, we checked in with Tom Bradshaw.Tom is an illustrator and designer currently based in Folkestone. Tom moved to Folkestone after finishing his undergrad degree at Loughborough University.In this episode we discuss his journey of illustration from hobby to career, a dark moment of exclusion he experienced at a football camp and the grief he experienced in losing three of his grandparents in quick succession as a young adult.We also discuss his move to Folkestone, how a Friday night football club set up by a work colleague saved his mental health and stopped him from moving back to Huddersfield and the positive impact his partner and pet dog have had on his mental health. As always, #itsokaytoventFind out more about Tom's work here: https://scribeyak.com/You can follow Tom on social media below:Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThomasBradshawSupport Us:Patreon: www.patreon.com/venthelpukGoFundMe: www.gofundme.com/f/help-vent-supp…ir-mental-healthMusic: @patawawa - Strange: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70wfeJSEvk

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