The Ka-Chat

Hey, so we didn't have a plan for this one before we got together to record it, so we just kind of watched a bunch of the bonus content on the various Carsverse DVDs at Lucas's apartment. Don't get me wrong though, those contained some incredibly dark deleted scenes from Cars, a few truly bizarre episodes from the Planes movies, and one short that contains just inordinate amounts of poop. Like, take whatever you think is "too much poop to be explicitly shown in a Carsverse feature." and just quintuple it. It's a weird one this week, folks.

Listen. I feel as if I should warn you right off the bat, this one does contain at least ten minutes of us just kinda spiraling about the current state of our democracy, so.... sorry about that! But in the bits that aren't that, we do make some points about politics in the Carsverse! We also spend, like, a sizable chunk of the episode just kind of talking about the mechanics of inflatable rafts in this universe of sentient vehicles. Not politics, but still pretty fun! Please vote! Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please vote.

Paging Dr. The Ka-Chat, you are needed in the.... podcast wing, I guess? Man. That one was a stretch, even for these little descriptions I write that I'm not sure anyone reads. ANYWAY, this week, we are talking about the world of medicine in the Carsverse! Where is the line between doctor and mechanic? How does disease spread, and how do they handle it? And what kind of sick medical experiments has that one forklift from Planes: Fire & Rescue done? Come find out, stat! Oh no, the joke doesn't have a heartbeat anymore! CLEAR!

Ok, right off the bat, we do a remarkably bad job talking about Flo in this one. Not completely (Flo's is a sonic.) and not because there is a lack of things to talk about regarding Flo, her business, her relationship, and her former life as a member of the Doo-Wop group The Motorama Girls. It's uh..... mostly because we're bad at this? Like, that's the big thing about it. We do talk about those things though! And it's still a good episode! We just also talk about farts and stuff for a bit.

Well met, traveller! Hast thou come seeking adventure? Adventure being centered mostly around a series of Pixar and Disneytoon Studios movies? Well, do I have.... alright news for you, I guess. We don't actually, uh.... do any adventuring this episode? We just figure out the mechanics of a Cars based RPG system? That's right everyone, in what critics are calling "Their most niche episode yet, and that's really saying something." and "Like, it's still funny and stuff, but I can't stress this enough, they just make D&D but for Cars this episode?" it's Episode 34: Dungeons & Dragsters! 

Oh thank god, finally a subject we know something about! That's right folks, this week we're diving right into cyberspace to explore what the internet and computers would be like in the Carsverse. (Fun fact: The internet is where The Ka-Chat lives.) So you KNOW we're talking about how they browse with no hands, whether these computers are built into them, and if they are, what the implications are of a sentient being that is hackable. Oh, also Lucas went to Disney World this past week and met Lightning, he's pretty jazzed about it, so just like, let him have it, ya know?

Ya know, after our success pitching, producing, and starring in the critically acclaimed, and massively successful movie "Boats: The Search for McQueen," we figured that it was time again to milk this cash cow. Therefore, please sit back and enjoy our pitch for "Cars 4: A Cars Story," a more intimate and small scale look at the every day life of the citizens of Radiator Springs and the impact that Lightning's celebrity has brought to their sleepy little town.

Alternate titles for this episode: "The Tow-mi-Mater" and "Nothing Matters, Mater can Time Travel." That's right folks, we are heading back to the land of Mater's stories for the final entry in his book: "Time Travel Mater." Mater can, in fact, travel through time. Which is... challenging, to say the least. Join as we discuss the founding of Radiator Springs, how Cars would golf (I promise it is related to the episode), and the implications of an all-powerful, master of all times Mater. We even dust off a forbidden tome, and take a look at an early scrapped pitch for this very short. If you think what they actually produced and distributed sounds bonkers, wait until you hear what they decided was a bit too far out there.

Probably not, right? BUT we can probably title it the nonsense we did title it! Probably. Maybe. We aren't really basing that anything. We, uh.... don't know the law. Please don't sue us, Honda. This is probably good publicity? Well, anyway, this is our Holiday Special! We talk about the elusive Santa Car, the fact that Cars is basically a Hallmark movie, and because we can't go just ONE episode without bringing some horror, the sad realities of icy roads in the Carsverse and some good ole fashioned reindeer body horror. So.... It's the Most Honda-ful Time of the Year? That probably just makes it worse. Ah jeez.

Ok, so.... the thing is.... Listen, I don't know how to make a fun little description about this one. There's just so much that happens in this one, folks. Mater is a doctor. Mater is a plane. Mater is a wrestler. Mater can fly. Mater is a fire truck. Mater is a detective. Mater is a rock star. Mater is part alien, maybe? Mater is all-knowing and all-seeing. Mater is, well, everything. Mater was here before us, and you can bet that he will be here after us. As he has written in the ancient texts, "If I'm lyin', I'm cryin'" and let me tell ya, he ain't cryin'. Bow before your lord and Mater, and hope he extends his merciful hook to you.