The Kandid Shop

Shoot Me A Message!

I was truly my pleasure to sit down for this Everyday Heroes Kandid Spotlight with Yaniece Spencer & Rafiah Hickson, Co-Founders of B.O.S.S. Mentoring Inc., a community-based program in Camden, New Jersey.

Childhood friends, Yaniece & Rafiah, founded B.O.S.S. Mentoring in 2017 to fill the void in services for young boys/adolescents.

 B.O.S.S., is an acronym for “Boys Of Sustainable Strength” and the mission of the program is to educate and support young men by providing workshops, life skills and career development through individual and group mentoring.

The program currently serves boys aged 8-18 in Camden City & Camden County through weekly group and individual mentoring using a group of dedicated male volunteer mentors.

This amazing program is based on 5 focus areas:

• Physical and mental health awareness
• Life skills
• Financial literacy
• Cultural competency

Marian Wright Edelman said. "Service is, the rent we pay for being. It is the very purpose of life and not something you do in your spare time,” and these two young ladies and the program they created are the literal embodiment of that quote.

If you’re interested in becoming a mentor, a volunteer, doing some type of activity with the program participants or to donate, you can visit their website or any of their social media pages below:

 https://www.bossmentoring.org

https://mobile.twitter.com/bossmentoringnj

https://www.instagram.com/bossmentoringnj/

https://www.facebook.com/BOSSMentoringNJ/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/b-o-s-s-mentoring

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XukGe5tLY_8     

To contact them for more information:

Email:  mailto:[email protected]

B.O.S.S. Mentoring is a 501c3 non-profit and all donations are tax deductible!

Intro: “Welcome to the Kandid Shop” by BUSS_TE (Anthony Nelson)

Outro: “Boys To Men” by New Edition

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

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It was truly a joy to sit down for this one-on-one kandid chat with transformational love coach speaker, international bestselling author and founder of Life after Narcissism CSW Coaching, Denise Kavaliauskas.

Denise found freedom, healing & real love after a 22- year toxic relationship and is proof positove that you can not only survive but thrive after a narcisstic relationship!

Key Takeaways:

• Female narcissist do exist but the overwhelming number of them are men.
• Watch for common red flags of narcissism and toxicity like:
• Love bombing: Doing too much, too soon!
• Hoovering: Circling back constantly with promises of change or denying the relationship is over
• Gas-lighting: When someone tries to convince you what you know is true isn’t
• Have a plan to leave that keeps you safe.
• Gather your tribe of support
• Do your healing work so you won’t continue to attract the same toxicity
• Be kind and patient with yourself
• Love up on yourself!
• There is hope for real, healthy, and happy love after a toxic relationship!!

Connect with Denise for Help Thriving & Finding Real Love After A Narcissistic Relationship:

https://trueloveaftertoxiclove.com/

https://www.instagram.com/lifeafternarcissism_111/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYmjngJD5iL0j4yKZ9SywQw

Intro: “Welcome to The Kandid Shop”: by Buss_TE

Outro: Spring Gang feat. Mia Pfirrman - Until It's Over

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

I had the opportunity to sit down for a kandid chit-chat with Diane Konkin, Founder of Advanced Mind Health, which specializes in Rapid Transformational Therapy or RTT, a leading-edge, hybrid therapy based on the latest research in neuroscience

RTT allows the client to embed new neural pathways and shift their thought processes through verbal repetition and visualization tools and is an advanced form of neuroscience that effectively works with the deepest part of the subconscious mind.

Key Takeaways:

• Stanford University did an extensive study in 2016 on hypnosis and did brain scans and essentially found out that when people were even in a light hypnotic state their brains are lit up, and that's when the brains absorb more information and accept it more deeply.
• RTT is the most advanced form of hypnotherapy out there right now
• Willpower doesn't work because it is changing your habit of action without changing your habit of thought.
• Instead of writing down goals, write down “decisions” because the word decide has the Latin root of, “to cut off from”
• Hypnotherapy was developed hundreds of years ago and it was used in psychotherapy for many years before stage shows gave it a bad rap.
• More traditional therapists are beginning to open up to the effectiveness of hypnotherapy
• RTT is quickly gaining global recognition by medical professionals as one of the most effective treatments available. 

Quotes to Ponder:

“There's all kinds of things at a subconscious level that affect our behaviors that we can change, but we can't change them consciously.”  ~Diane Konkin

“Anybody that's listening, I want you to know that if you have, acquired an addiction: Number one, it's not who you are. It is something that you have acquired. It's nothing that you did. “ ~Diane Konkin

“I don't lead them, but I help them because they need to make their own discoveries. When a client makes their own discoveries and their own connections, that's when they become "aha" moments or personal discoveries, they put two and two together.”   ~Diane Konkin

"Addiction is the solution to a problem that you don't know the cause of"  ~ Dr. Gabor Maté

CONSIDER THIS:

When you miss your exit on the highway because your mind was turned inward OR you get stuck staring and not blinking and not looking at anything in particular, guess what…you’re  “hypnotized!”

Footnote: Diane was gracious enough to give me a session to help me quit smoking and while it didn't immediatley make me smoke-free it did help me to cut down considerably and I'm confident I'll be smoke free in no time!  The session was relaxing and Diane is amazing at helping you navigate your subconscious!

https://advancedmindhealth.ca

https://www.instagram.com/advancedmindhealth/

https://www.facebook.com/advancedmindhealth/

Intro: Buss_TE

Outro: Unreasonable Expectations by Rafa Sessions

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

I had the pleasure of sitting down for a kandid chit-chat with Love Coach & Certified 6th Generation Energy Healer, Carisa Montooth.

Carisa shows single women how to attract and date marriage-minded men without self-sabotage. With a balance of practical tools and powerful energetic healing techniques, she helps her clients identify their blind spots in love, heal their subconscious blocks to love, and navigate the dating world with grace and confidence.

Key Takeaways:

• If you don't address any blocks or blind spots to love at the subconscious level then any other tools that you try to use are going to feel like trying to drive with the parking brake on!
• You are never too old, too fat or too late to manifest the genuine love that's right for you!
• Your behaviors should support your intentions!
• Your spirit/soul's wisdom is sovereign!

• Self-love is the best love! Once you love yourself first and best, the other kinds of love will come to you.

• You don't make love happen. You make love welcome!

Contact info for Carisa:

https://carisamontooth.com/

https://www.instagram.com/carisalovehealer/

http://www.facebook.com/carisamontoothlovecoach

https://www.youtube.com/carisamontoothlovecoach

Intro: "Welcome to The Kandid Shop" Buss_TE

Outro: "Unreasonable Expectations": RaFa Sessions

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a diagnosis in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)

NPD is considered a disorder more commonly found in men than women in which a person has:

• An inflated sense of self-importance
• Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration
• Disregard for others feelings, i.e.,  lack of empathy
• The inability to handle criticism
• An overwhelming sense of entitlement.
• While this disorder is overwhemingly found in men, women can be narcissist too!

Key Takeaways/Red Flags:

• Look at the speed of the relationship. i.e. doing wayy too much, wayy too fast!
• Love Bombing: An attempt to influence a person by grand demonstrations of attention and affection. 
• Sob/victim stories
• They mirror your behavior identically, i.e.,  EVERYTHINGyou like they like..
• Be aware of the narcissist/manipulators favorite tool to keep your around:  F.O.G. - F.ear O.bligation G.uilt
• Manipulative people are experts at gaslighting,i.e. , making you question your reality AND they're really good at getting you to ignore your intuition/gut-feelings

If you're in a toxic/abusive/narcissistic relationship and want to get out please know there’s help & hope!

• Make a detailed plan to leave including:
  • Gathering your tribe! Get your emotional support team together!
  • Get everything in place. The moving truck, where are you going to go? How much money do you need to leave? Can you access your money?
  • Make sure you have a place to go. And your abuser doesn't know where that place is.
  • ABSOLUTLEY No contact!
  • Change your number.
  • Get off of social media.
  • Do not give them a window to anything that you are doing. As far as they are concerned, you do not exist.
  • Change all your passwords to every account, social media, email, bank accounts.. ALL OF THEM!

If you have children together:

• Make sure you have, preemptively reached out to an attorney and know the laws, because if you go missing in the middle of the night with the children, they're going to accuse you of kidnapping and you don't want to get in any legal trouble.
• Make sure you secure any important documents like birth certificates, social security cards, anything of value. Get ahold of it now because if they get it they will destroy anything that is important to you.
• Be prepared to co-parent with boundaries & supervision.
•  Document everything because documentation is power!
• Be prepared to go through hell in the court system. Narcissistic/emotional abuse if still not widely considered a real form of abuse

The Other Side - Your Glow Up!

• Your healing will stop the cycles attracting abusive people into your life.
• Implement your highest level of self love; loving all of you, the good, the bad, the ugly!
• Forgive him/her, forgive the past, forgive yourself!
• Speak your truth without apologizing, without  guilt, without shame, without  blame and trust the process.
• Trust yourself & your intuition!
• Say yes when you mean, yes!
• Say no when you mean no!
• You can heal from these experiences, and you find true love.
• Be kind and patient with yourself during this time
• There's nothing that you did wrong. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not damaged. You're not broken. You simply have unhealed wounds and wounds heal with time!
• Real love doesn't hurt...!!
• Do not be afraid to connect and find a support system with other survivors & thrivers!
• Loving, living and honoring your most authentic self is so important!

For help, resources and a community of healing and support, my very special guests this evening were:

Denise Kavaliauskas,Transformat

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

Looking For Love: A Kandid Convo on Dating & Relationships! (Recorded Live on 2/8/2022)

Key Takeaways:

• Know & love yourself 1st!
• Know your "why" for dating
• Time is your friend!
• Get to know people beyond the honeymoon phase!
• Set your boundaries based on what's acceptable or not for you!
• If sex is your kryptonite and clouds your perceptions...save it for later!
• Watch for red flags: Love bombing, Too familiar and attached too soon, not respecting you boundaries( to name a few)
• Enjoy the process!!

Guest Co-Host:

Dr. Kaci Chamone,Certified Life Coach, Author of "It’s My Time", Podcast Host, Business Strategist, and Love Coach. 

http://www.edu-freedom.org

https://www.speakingfreedom.org/

My distinguished panel of guests:

Ibbie Aromolaran, Dating Coach and Mental Health Therapist

https://auroralovecoaching.wordpress.com/

https://www.instagram.com/auroralovecoach/

https://www.facebook.com/auroralovecoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@auroralovecoach

Lilli Bewley,Feminine & Masculine Dating Coach

https://www.instagram.com/lillibewley/

Shamaree Brissett, Relationship & Intimacy Coach

https://eztree.me/shamareelab

https://instagram.com/shamareelab

https://youtube.com/channel/UCQPaosqg7B0a9OPvMmHMfyQ

https://twitter.com/shamareelab

Confidently Have The Pleasure you Deserve

https://tiktok.com/@shamareelab

Intro: "Welcome to The Kandid Shop" by: Buss_TE

Outro: "Unreasonable Expectations": by Rafa Sessions

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

It was my distinct honor to be the 1st podcast that Mrs. Sonia Nieves, brand new author of "Milton The Friendly Whaleshark:A Treasure Hunt" chose to appear on!

Trust me it will not be the last one that she and Milton will be featured on!

To order this amazing book from the author directly to get a signed and dedicated copy message Sonia her: https://facebook.com/miltonthefriendlywhaleshark 

Milton is also available on Amazon here:

Milton the Friendly Whaleshark

Go Follow Sonia & Milton:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/miltonthefriendlywhaleshark/

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

 "Butchered By Healthcare: A Kandid Chat About Surviving Our Healthcare System!" (Recorded on 1/25/2022)

My special guest for this eye-opening conversation was Dr. Robert Yoho, Author of the Best Indie Award Winning Book, "Butchered By Healthcare!

Key Takeaways:

• Do your homework. Research your condition or issue
• Don't be afraid to ask questions about procedures, medications etc.
• Be your own advocate
• Get a second opinion if you need to
• Join a patient advocacy group
• A little skepticism goes a long way
• If your Dr. isn't listening to you it might be time to find a new one

Memorable Dr. Yoho quotes:

"I know that doctors are idealistic. They try their best, but it's impossible within the system for them to put the patient first, almost impossible." 

"We have 50 to 70% of the country on prescription drugs. And most of that garbage is useless or nearly useless or even bad for you."

 "Skepticism is a great strength. Don't believe a thing."

 "The doctors aren't any smarter than you are. And if anyone tells you something you don't understand it's because they're lying to you to get your money"

You can get the book here:

https://www.amazon.com/Butchered-Healthcare-Doctors-Corrupt-Government-ebook/dp/B08FVMK5GY

You can connect with Dr. Yoho here:

https://www.robertyohoauthor.com

Check out his "Surviving Healthcare" podcast here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1718994

Intro music: Buss_TE

Outro Music: RaFa Sessions

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

A kandid conversation about Cyberbullying/Stalking & Online Safety

Key Takeaways:

• Wait as long as you can before giving your child a connected device.
• Educate yourself and your kids on cyber-safety, red flags and what to do if they are approached inappropriately online by anyone they don't know 
• If you or your child is the victim of cyberbullying or cyberstalking there are 3 important steps you can take: 1. Block and cease all communication with the person, 2. Take stock- Document the bully or stalking via screenshots, emails, etc., 3. Talk - Tell a trusted adult, report the offender(s) to the platform & law enforcement, but don't keep it bottled up inside!
• Advocate for stricter cyberbullying/stalking laws in your area
• Remember: NOTHING is really private on a public platfrom so if you don't want the world to know something, DON'T POST IT!!

Our guests this episode were:

Carling Middlestead, Producer & Host of the "I Did Not Sign Up for this "podcast.

https://www.ididnotsignupforthis.ca

&

Diana Graber, Author of "Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology" (HarperCollins Leadership '19), co-founder of CyberWise (aka, No Grownup Left Behind!) and founder of Cyber Civics, the popular middle school digital literacy curriculum. 

https://www.dianagraber.com

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Humans-Digital-World-Relationship/

https://www.facebook.com/BeCyberwise

https://www.youtube.com/c/CyberWiseChannel

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast

Shoot Me A Message!

Bonus Epsiode:The Social Media Machine

One-on-One interview with Anna Jollif, MS, LMCHA. Anna is a mental health therapist based in Seattle, WA. , who spent  three years researching the relationship between social media and mental health among adolescents at University of Wisconsin-Madison.  Anna now works as a therapist for clients with depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and concerns about their substance use.

You can connect with her @

https://www.onawakening.org/

Check out her short but profoundly insightful article on the subject here:

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/August-2020/Is-Social-Media-Good-or-Bad-for-Our-Mental-Health

Support the show

Intro Music by: Anthony Nelson aka BUSS
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/buss/252316338
Keep it Safe, Keep it Healthy & Keep it Kandid!
www.thekandidshop.com
IG, FB & Tiktok: @thekandidshoppodcast