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Going forward, each newsletter will be recorded so you can listen if you would prefer that to reading. Nervous but excited about my voice being heard this way.🥹🥹
I recently went through a tasking exam season. Thing is, God had already given me a word concerning the exam, and He had assured me last year, of good success. Getting a word about something that hasn't happened yet is very different from experiencing said thing however.
The year arrived with a lot of experiences. Good experiences and answered prayers, as if God knew I would need to look back in the thick of things on a time when His faithfulness was undeniable.
2 Corinthians 5:7 AMP- For we walk by faith, not by sight [living our lives in a manner consistent with our confident belief in God’s promises] became my verse and Walk by faith by Victoria Orenze, a song I can sing in my sleep now, was on repeat.
I had faith. But yet I felt a bit unsure. I'll explain. You see, God had given me a word for the season, and when the season came, I held on to those words for dear life. But I felt at times like I was being too confident. I now realize that this was some kind of doubt and all an agenda by the evil one to make me question the word God had given me. I was unafraid but felt like I should leave some room for fear. I don't even know if that makes sense.
Because I was being called to radical faith however, I needed to keep my eyes fixed on what the Lord had said, I needed to continually fill my mind with words that reminded me of His promise to me. And this is where I'll speak a bit about songs that nourish the soul.
Music is not just music. There's a reason why when you listen to a song over and over, it plays in your mind even as you sleep. When I was writing my first medical professional exam, the Holy Spirit directed me to create a playlist that was filled with songs of thanksgiving. Thanskgiving for what had not even come to pass yet. This playlist has since lifted me out of many seasons of despair. And the fact that it is so difficult to play in the bleak times goes to show how the devil hates thanksgiving.
Back to the recent, as the days came, and what my eyes saw contradicted what God had said, when my eyes saw things going left when God had assured me months before that they would go right, my playlists reminded me of God’s omnipotence, majesty, His inherent ability to work all things for my good and His faithfulness. Whenever I saw something that would provoke doubt, I would run to my Bible verses and to my playlists to be reminded of truth. I inserted my name into all scripture with a promise of restoration, good news, faithfulness.
Towards, the end, I confess, I began to ask myself if I had been a bit rash. Like yes, God promised me this, but I hope I've not taken walking by faith to another level. Plus it turns out that I had been hoping to run by faith not walk. Walking means you take a step and look at God asking what's next. A step at a time. (credit: Sarah Jakes Roberts in the sermon: An uphill battle- this really resonated with me when I listened to it. I recommend.)
Anyway, it turned out that there was no need for doubt(there never is need for doubt), God was faithful to His word, I passed my exams.
Something that crossed my mind more than once in that season was if I would still thank God if maybe I didn't pass the exams? VERY DIFFICULT QUESTION. But I think very necessary. If I hadn't passed, would I still be here writing this newsletter? Would I had said my prayers the day after I saw the results? Admittedly, it is way easier to write this now that I'm standing on the side of success but it is still worth reflecting on regardless.
How do we treat ourselves and our relationship with God in the tough times? In those times of not getting what we had prayed for, because I dare not call those times, failing times. I believe failing would be not trusting in God in the first place and not putting our hope in Him from the get go. In those times, we feel like maybe we should prayed more, maybe we should have started praying earlier, maybe God doesn't actually care about us, as much as those around us because they on the other hand, were successful.
I am not going to tell you what to do in those times, because I don't have the answer to that. What I will say however, is something Pope Francis said in a video I had watched years ago: “Whenever people ask me why God allows suffering, I tell them to look at the cross, and to see God’s own son on the cross. God allowed His own son to be crucified by the very humans He created.” Doesn't make sense does it? I don't think much of our suffering will make sense on this side of the divide. Time may reveal more about our suffering seasons but ultimately, only the Father will be able to answer many of our ‘why’ questions.
If the cards you’ve been dealt with at this time are more towards the “God said He would be faithful to me, but He wasn't in the manner I expected Him to be”, I think the only thing I would say is: Remain. (this Newsletter published at the start of April would be a great read).
Remain in God regardless. Remain in Him and ask Him all the questions. You know when you watch the movies where the girl is angry and hits the chest of the guy in her hurt but remains in those arms regardless, I think that's how we should be in those less ideal seasons. Remain in God’s arms, asking Him all the questions and hitting His chest because I actually think that He can take it plus, He would rather us be there than away from Him.
We have a great calling as believers. To stand in God and remain even when the sun isn't shining. This is a call that will be uncomfortable and against the desire of our flesh but it is our call. That is why the Bible which was written eons ago is filled with verses that speak of waiting on God when the answers don't come when we desire them and the need to keep trusting in God.
No matter what life throws at us, God remains with us.
I’m rooting for you.🤍
Thank you for reading Ken iti Na. This post is public so feel free to share it.
May God have mercy and let His face shine upon you, establishing the work of your hands. We will shout for joy when you are victorious. May God restore your fortunes so that you can be like those men who dreamed with mouths full of laughter. Even though you sow in tears, may you reap with songs of joy.
Amen.
💡Bible verse of the week:
“When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burnt; the hard trials that come will not hurt you. For I am the LORD your God, the holy God of Israel, who saves you. I will give up Egypt to set you free; I will give up Ethiopia and Seba. I will give up whole nations to save your life, because you are precious to me and because I love you and give you honour. Do not be afraid — I am with you!”
-Isaiah 43:2-5 GNBDC
🖋️Quote of the week:
“Just because a road is lonely,
Doesn't mean you're not on the right one
Just because it's a struggle to keep going,
Does not mean you should stop
Just because there are easier paths,
Doesn't mean you should move
It seems safer to do what everyone else does
But you wouldn't be YOU.”
-Mazino Malaka
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