The Kindness Chef

I sit with Dr Kathryn Buchanan to talk about her research on wellbeing and kindness.

She is a lecturer in the Department of Psychology at the University of Essex.

She obtained her Bsc (Hons) in psychology from the University of Kent in 2008 before going on to complete a PhD at Royal Holloway, University of London. Her thesis primarily examined the contribution of two key behaviour types known as 'getting ahead' (agency) and 'getting along' (communion) to subjective wellbeing. Her research employs a mixed methods approach and continues to revolve around identifying factors that can lead to desirable societal outcomes such as increased happiness and the promotion of pro-social behaviours. Her recent work looks at people's reactions to seeing others' acts of kindness.

Buchanan, KE., Rolison, JJ., Jinga, I., Thompson, J. and Russo, R., (2022). Who tugs at our heart strings? The effect of avatar images on player generosity in the dictator game.. Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology. 75 (3), 377-389

Buchanan, K., Aknin, LB., Lotun, S. and Sandstrom, GM., (2021). Brief exposure to social media during the COVID-19 pandemic: Doom-scrolling has negative emotional consequences, but kindness-scrolling does not.. PLoS One. 16 (10), e0257728-e0257728

Churchyard, JS. and Buchanan, K., (2017). Which way to well-being: “More of the same” or “trying something novel”? The association of comfortable and experimental behavior styles to well-being. Personality and Individual Differences. 109, 35-43

Buchanan, K. and Bardi, A., (2015). The Roles of Values, Behavior, and Value-Behavior Fit in the Relation of Agency and Communion to Well-Being. Journal of Personality. 83 (3), 320-333

Buchanan, K. and Bardi, A., (2010). Acts of Kindness and Acts of Novelty Affect Life Satisfaction. The Journal of Social Psychology. 150 (3), 235-237

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This episode is all about TEA :) from the Kindness A to Z.

With my guest this month Lera Zujeva who is known as the tea whisperer.  She has created T- lovers - drink tea, slow down, connect "experience life through tea".

www.t-lovers.com

Instagram - withtlovers

My guest this week Dr. Catherine Kelly is a geographer with research interests in sustainability, tourism and wellbeing. Her lecturing, research and practices cross a range of these broad categories. Catherine's research areas have varied over her academic career - starting with rural geography, then moving into the field of heritage studies and then tourism (cultural, heritage, wellness and sustainable tourism specifically); with a more recent emphasis on the importance of 'blue spaces' for human wellbeing. She is interested in the importance of water-based 'therapeutic landscapes' for physical, psychological and social wellbeing. Catherine's research also looks at how wellbeing can be used to advocate for personal relationships with the coast and its stewardship/environmental conservation. She is interested in access to the sea - in physical, social and cultural terms. Since joining the School of Business and Law, Catherine is also interested in the role of the Blue Economy in tourism development and sustainable business practices.  She sits on the newly created UK national Blue Space Forum for the Environment Agency.

Studies are showing that being near water or blue space is an instant mood-lifter, helping us to be present, less stressed, and to feel more connected.

What is it about water that helps us come back to ourselves?

Many of us naturally gravitate towards the nearest blue space for our regular walks. There is an innate balancing quality that water brings – whether it's crashing waves, gentle oceans, distant horizons, or the reflections we see, water can bring on a meditative 'blue mind' state.

Join Dr Catherine Kelly, geographer, wellbeing practitioner and cold-water swimming enthusiast, as she explores the latest research into the physical, psychological and social factors that connect water and wellbeing and explains why water makes us feel better. Throughout the book you will also find exercises and suggestions to help you enhance your own wellbeing.

Blue Spaces - How and why water can make you feel better by Dr Catherine Kelly  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Blue-Spaces-Water-Make-Better/dp/1789562848

Instagram @Bluespaces

ChillSquad www.corejourneys.com

WildBlue School www.wildbeachschoolbrighton.com

I sit with Ellen Khalifa from Wyzage for an insightful conversation on behaviour change for health-span and longevity.   After practicing the Tiny Habits method for 10 years, she was inspired to get certified in 2019. Ellen spent decades as a content writer in healthcare -creating physician, patient and health education - but eventually realized that information is only useful if it helps us take action. She is certified as a UX writer to help wellness entrepreneurs create the most effective micro-content for digital products. Ellen is also active in the growing movement to create a new roadmap for the second half of life.

She helps people to extend the healthy middle span of life to" Teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart. " (Psalm 90:12)

She talks about the book called 'Rewiring Happiness' by Rick Hanson and that it is possible to go towards a growth mindset which is about progress not perfection. 

She blends together design thinking, behavioural change and positive psychology.  When you create habits using emotional intensity with celebration and positive thoughts you can start to rewire your brain.  She was an anxious person and became less anxious with tiny steps of self-kindness, focusing on what she had established and celebrating that.  She started to notice more moments in the day that she did regularly where she could easily add habits to.

She shares about her interest in the Modern Elder Academy, a school dedicated to helping you navigate midlife and beyond. 

Her work is communication for behaviour change in the simplest easiest ways to make positive changes.

I invited Ellen to talk about D from the Kindness A to Z which is about DESIGN, how can we design our lives with more kindness.

Anchor what you want to do with something you already do, be specific, say after I brush my teeth I will...

Behaviour is a tiny thing you can start to do.

http://www.wyzage.com/

I saw Sunny online talking about mid-life wellbeing on the Tiny Habit's platform.  She talked about the importance of taking pauses throughout the day to be quiet and go within to take better care of ourselves. I invited her to create a recipe for Quietness to help you be kinder to yourself and others.  This is a deep conversation where she shares more about her life experiences, and the changes she has made to be healthier.  

She is the founder of SUNNY Life Solutions, was originally from Taiwan, and has lived in the USA for over 30 years.

As an EX- molecular biologist, a Tiny Habits certified coach, a DTM (Distinguished Toastmaster), an Amazon international bestseller author, and a lifestyle mentor, she is passionate to assist people over 40 to build their healthy lifestyle at the quantum level.

Sunny is building her online Community, 40-plus LOVE community https://sunnylifesolutions.com to connect with SUPER caregivers (who care and give too much!) over 40 who often deal with long-term toxic stress and too much self-doubt.

Sunny’s dream is to build a supportive, knowledgeable and affordable Co-Hort community that provides simple & effective life hacks for life transformation and business collaboration opportunities. Her tagline is: Come Alive to Impact More Lives.

In addition, Sunny offers personalized coaching programs and online virtual retreats to support her tribe members to effortlessly implement simple & effective life hacks into daily routine via her three Ps: Phototherapy, Positivity, and Perspectives

Sunny can be reached at https://linktr.ee/sunnylifesolutions for her services and various social media profiles.

My social connection:

www.linkedin.com/in/sunnylifesolutions Personal LinkedIn Profile

https://www.facebook.com/sunnylifesolutions Business FB Page

https://lifewave.com/sunnylifesolutions Lifewave Company Page

https://linktr.ee/sunnylifesolutions Main Connection Link

https://sunnylifesolutions.com Landing page for Sunny’s Mighty Community

I sit down to speak with my guest Syreeta Challinger about Love from the Kindness A to Z:

"We understand self care and love as the most reliably transformative muscle of humanity and deeper connection to not only yourself but to others." Syreeta Challinger

She is a coach, creative consultant, writer podcaster and public speaker. She has created a space, Leaven, a place she sought when facing trauma and catastrophic change, all in response to her personal experiences of change as a mother and as a carer. Syreeta makes positive change possible.  She has faced a myriad of life’s challenges, grief, loss, the place of unknowing each day.

She shares her unique story, we talk about unconditional love.  How love has guided her throughout the darkest of times and given her hope to continue.

Love is a doing word, a verb.  Love has carried her through the most insane 8 years when everything changed.

As a carer she also shares ways she practices being kinder to herself and takes care of her wellbeing.

Victoria Sponge is her favourite cake, so her recipe is named after this Syreeta's Love Sponge.

Her mantra that got her through and that she still uses today shared by her friend Alli: "inch by inch, life's a sinch, yard by yard it's very hard."  

https://www.thisisleaven.com/

Instagram: @thisisleaven

Tedx Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiXfQeMo-U4

The book she mentions is Falling Upward: A Spirituality For The Two Halves Of Life by Richard Ror.

I met Elizabeth a long time ago, it was 2004 when I worked in Hammersmith & Fulham NHS Primary Care Trust.  I have watched her over the years continue to be a pioneer and achieve success. 

Elizabeth Anionwu is a retired nurse, campaigner and Emeritus Professor of Nursing at the University of West London. A fellow of the Royal College of Nursing, she spent 40 years in the profession and has been named one of the most influential nurses in the history of the NHS. Her career was distinguished by her pioneering work in the understanding of sickle cell disease - bringing better treatment and support to the thousands living with it. She was the first sickle cell and thalassaemia nurse counsellor in the UK.  Her decades of dedication, care and service are a contrast to her own disrupted childhood as a mixed race child born out of wedlock in the 1940s, though it was the kindness of a nurse when she was just five that sparked a nascent interest in what would become her life’s work. After leaving school at 16, with seven O-levels, Elizabeth was made a Professor of Nursing in 1998.

She spent nine years fundraising and campaigning for a statue to British-Jamaican nurse Mary Seacole. Unveiled in 2016 in the grounds of St Thomas’ Hospital, London, the statue is the first in the UK to represent a named black woman. Elizabeth received the DBE in 2017 for services to nursing and the Mary Seacole Statue Appeal.

We sit down to talk about O from the Kindness A-Z. Optimism, a mental attitude characterised by hope and confidence in success and a positive future. Optimistic attitudes are linked to a number of benefits, better coping skills, lower stress levels, better physical health & higher persistence when pursuing goals.  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2894461/

We create a recipe together for Optimism with the following ingredients; sense of humour, music, flexibility,  being part of a team and gratitude. 

I recommend her book which I read in 2017 and it is definitely 'A page turner of a book!' Dua Lipa. Her memoir Dreams from my mother is available in paperback, kindle and audio.

Twitter @EAnionwu

www.elizabethanionwu.co.uk

Talking about her book in more detail in 2017 to participants of the NHS LEAP programme I was running as a guest speaker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8HyGuPq2_c

Desert Island Discs with Elizabeth Anionwu and the 8 tracks of music she selects https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000jn8w

I met Sara online a year ago through Fempeak, raising the socioeconomic status of women through technology.  I went on her test pilot for a confidence programme she is developing. It helped to increase my confidence to teach online and during this time she showed me kindness guiding me to become more confident to share my voice with the world.

Sara Seager is an astrophysicist and planetary scientist at MIT. Her main research goal is to find and identify another Earth. 

https://www.saraseager.com/

I read her memoir and wanted to invite her to as a guest on the podcast to share her story of gaining hope and creating her future in the wake of tragedy.

We talk about H for Hope from the Kindness A-Z. 

Book - A Memoir - 'The smallest lights in the universe' https://www.saraseager.com/books/

In this luminous memoir, an MIT astrophysicist must reinvent herself in the wake of tragedy and discovers the power of connection on this planet, even as she searches our galaxy for another Earth.

Sara Seager has always been in love with the stars: so many lights in the sky, so much possibility. Now a pioneering planetary scientist, she searches for exoplanets—especially that distant, elusive world that sustains life. But with the unexpected death of Seager’s husband, the purpose of her own life becomes hard for her to see. Suddenly, at forty, she is a widow and the single mother of two young boys. For the first time, she feels alone in the universe.

As she struggles to navigate her life after loss, Seager takes solace in the alien beauty of exoplanets and the technical challenges of exploration. At the same time, she discovers earthbound connections that feel every bit as wondrous, when strangers and loved ones alike reach out to her across the space of her grief. Among them are the Widows of Concord, a group of women offering advice on everything from home maintenance to dating, and her beloved sons, Max and Alex. Most unexpected of all, there is another kind of one-in-a-billion match, not in the stars but here at home.

Probing and invigoratingly honest, The Smallest Lights in the Universe is its own kind of light in the dark.

"With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend." Dr Kristen Neff

Dr Kristin Neff received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, she was an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. During Kristin’s last year of graduate school she became interested in Buddhism and has been practicing meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion – a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically. Kristin is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, creating a scale to measure the construct almost 20 years ago. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.

In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. They co-authored The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as well as Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. She is also co-founder of the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.

Guided Meditations https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations and https://centerformsc.org/practice-msc/guided-meditations-and-exercises/

Free online self-compassion test developed by Kristen https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/

Sakshi Bansal finished her Masters in Work and Organisational Psychology from the University of Nottingham in 2019. Sakshi was awarded as the first UNESCO Kindness Leader in 2018 for establishing Project LEAP, a social service project focused on SDG:4. She heads a team of 300+ volunteers and provides skill-based training to different volunteer groups in India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Africa, the US and the UK. She also consults various Artificial Intelligence (AI) bases start-ups in an advisory capacity.  Recently recognised for her work at Project LEAP by awarding us “Excellence in Business Psychology” award (March 2022 - The Association for Business Psychology).  She is a Humanitarian Work Psychologist.

The work she does is an act of kindness, it's bigger than her and she likes to get up each morning with something purposeful to do. She says some people have a fear of giving too much of themselves away.

Her two key observations about "kindness": - Kindness is the act. It is different from empathy, sympathy and intention.  - Kindness does not need to be followed by words like vulnerability, authenticity and trust. It can be followed by words like power, profits and leadership too.

We talk about the differences between India and UK culture.  India is the 'we' culture and the UK is more about 'I'.

She likes to practice self-kindness through travelling.  

Kindness Recipe - Bake your pizza and eat it as well

Ingredients - self-reflection, healthy environment - mind, body or your physical space, the act of recognition (differences in your thought pattern and words)

Method - 

1. Take yourself to a happy place where you can reflect. (Travel, shower, working out)

She likes to travel and see a new city. That space becomes inspiring, she's seeing a place for the first time.

2. Find time to reflect.

Take notes on her thoughts, recognise the words I am using and what does that indicate.

3. Have the courage to accept and change unkind thoughts, behaviour patterns and then you take the action to change them.

The act of kindness is to go and change the narrative to be kinder to myself.

We need to stop confusing kindness with selflessness.  We need to stop thinking that kindness and assertiveness and leadership do not go hand in hand, they definitely do.

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/sakshi-bansal