The Law Is My Ass

The Law Is My Ass

By Joseph Creitz, Law Professor and AttorneyComedy
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The Law Is My Ass episodes

  • 2018_06_30 The Law Is My Ass E49 with Sachin and Jamie

    In this the final episode of the podcast with the current name (we mean it this time!) we round up the huge volume of significant Supreme Court decisions published in the last month -- and apologies in advance for the technical issues (the mics were a little hot - ooops) - we think it's still listenable. The topics we hit include (but are not limited to) the following:

    • Will the Packers be better this year (Hint: of course)
    • Who is Wisconsin's favorite Chheda? (Hint: the one named Sachin)
    • Do Gorsuch and Thomas ALWAYS agree? (Hint: apparently not!)
    • Was Kennedy a progressive jurist? (Hint: not even close)
    • Who is the new swing vote on the Supreme Court (Hint: his name rhymes with "Ron Joberts")
    • Which justice created the best read of the term? (Hint: her name rhymes with "Tonya Totomayor")
    • What's Sid been up to? (Hint: it involves a bar that sells no booze)
    • Is baking a cake "speech"? (Hint: the verdict is still out)
    • What's the more important right - to speak to to be quiet? (Hint: shhhhh!)

    All that and more on the final ever episode of The Law Is My Ass, soon to become The Keep It Legal! Podcast. Apologies again for the audio, and Happy Independence Day everybody!

    1 hr 33 min
  • 2017_12_15 The Law Is My Ass E48 Finale with Lena Zwarensteyn on judicial appointments

    It's Episode 48 - our last Law My Ass episode of 2018, and IT'S ALSO THE LAST EPISODE EVER! AAAAAAAHHHH! But don't fear - we'll be back next year with a new and improved and rebranded legal podcast that will be basically indistinguishable from The Law Is My Ass, except that it will be called Keep It Legal! instead. For the Law My Ass series finale, Sid Skyped in from London, our guest Lena Zwarensteyn Skyped in from Washington DC, and along the way we answered a few questions, including:

    • What was the Supreme Court up to this week? (Hint: not much)
    • What was Judge Kozinski up to this week? (Hint: too much)
    • Is the long-fought Fitbit-Jawbone war finally reaching an armistice? (Hint: signs point to yes)
    • Is Betsy DeVos's Department of Education doing anything at all? (Hint: signs point to no)
    • Can you get counterfeit Mercedes Benz hubcaps from Amazon? (Hint: Mercedes says you can and it is NOT happy about it!)
    • Is Brett Tally going to be a judge? (Hint: it's not looking good for him)
    • Is the DOJ hunting witches? (Hint: Rod Rosenstein denies it)
    • Does Trump's DOJ believe that climate change might be catastrophic? (Hint: it doesn't matter, because it thinks that there's no right to a habitable environment)
    • Open Internet, AKA "net neutrality" - are we all doomed? (Hint: not yet!)

    All that and more on our final episode of all time ever until we come back and do more of it next year under a different name. It's been an exciting and educational year of podcasting - we want sincerely to thank all of our listeners for joining us on this journey, listening, giving feedback, sending questions, and most of all just for caring about the laws that affect us all; you folks are the best. Thank you! And until next year, Keep It Legal!™ 

    59 min
  • 2017_12_09 The Law Is My Ass E47 with Shawn Matloob on the DACA and Travel Ban Litigation

    On this the 47th - and penultimate - episode of The Law Is My Ass (soon to be rebranded as the Keep it Legal!™ Podcast) - we go Sid-less (he hasn't left the podcast - he's just in England doing shows), and Joe welcomes back immigration attorney Shawn Matloob to talk about the developments in the DACA litigation and the Travel Ban 3.0 litigation, and there were a LOT! Along the way, we touch upon:

    • Can a lawyer be disbarred for disregarding a Supreme Court disbarment order? (Hint: all signs point to yes)
    • What did William Morris Agency agent Adam Venit do to Terry Crews? (Hint: it wasn't nice and he is being sued)
    • Is the President definitionally insulated from a charge of obstruction of justice? (Hint: nobody really thinks so)
    • Did Katy Perry win her real estate lawsuit in LA? (Hint: like a firework!)
    • Will sports gambling soon be legal in New Jersey (Hint: it looks promising for New Jersey)
    • Is baking a cake "speech" protected by the First Amendment? (Hint: it looks like at least 4 SCOTUS Justices think so)
    • Is the Supreme Court getting unusually involved in the pending immigration litigation? (Hint: yes)
    • Are there sexist judges on the Fourth Circuit? (Hint: Shawn and Joe are both wondering about that)
    • Are the President's tweets official proclamations of the administration? (Hint: 100%!)

    All that and more - so check it out, and keep it legal!™ 

    1 hr 10 min
  • 2017 12 02 The Law Is My Ass E46 with Jaime Lee Williams on the Fourth Amendment in the digital age

    In this the 46th episode of The Law Is My Ass, Sid and Joe cover all the usual topics, including but not limited to

    • Is the podcast changing its name? (Hint: YES! In 2018)
    • Does Joe steal all of Sid's lines? (Hint: Apparently)
    • Is Michael Flynn going to bring down the Trump administration? (Hint: it's too soon to say)
    • Can Trump stop himself from Tweeting? (Hint: what do you think?)
    • Should Jose Zarate have been convicted of murder (Hint: no)
    • Are brown people dangerous (Hint: most, we assume, are good people -- much like people of all other colors)
    • Does the Bureau of Land Management take good care of its guns? (Hint: apparently not at all)
    • Does Neal Katyal sometimes represent bad guys? (Hint: yup!)
    • Does the Supreme Court's hearing room have good natural light? (Hint: Jaime says "absolutely!")
    • Is the Supreme Court going to protect your cell cite location data? (Hint: we all guess yes)
    • What percentage of internet bots are good? (Hint: exactly 26%)
    • Can Jaime drop an F-bomb? (Hint: yes)

    All that and a great listener question! So check out Episode 46 now while you can, before we rebrand the entire operation. And keep it legal!

    1 hr 6 min
  • 2017_11_18 The Law Is My Ass E45 with Lena Zwarensteyn

    In today's 45th episode of The Law Is My Ass, Sid and Joe wind through the regular features of the podcast, along with a great interview of Lena Zwarensteyn of the American Constitution Society, and along the way try to answer, inter alia, the following:

    • Has Joe finally figured out how to use the compressor in GarageBand? (Hint: signs point to yes)
    • Has the Trump administration lost any cases in the Ninth Circuit this week? (Hint: check out the new DACA litigation update segment! But yes)
    • Are the President's tweets official government records? (Hint: the DOJ says "yes")
    • What's up at the Supreme Court (Hint: the three women justices are trying to prevent unfair executions)
    • Are the Badgers undefeated? (Hint: we didn't talk about that, but the answer is "YES! And they'd better be included in the playoffs if they stay that way!)
    • Can you bare your breasts as a political protest? (Hint: one would assume so, but apparently not in Chicago)
    • What about the elephants? (Hint: according the the administration's official regulatory publication - Twitter - the elephants got a temporary reprieve)
    • Are New Balance shoes made in the US? (Hint: New Balance says it doesn't matter)
    • Are blue slips dead? (Hint: for district court judges, apparently yes)
    • Is Trump trying to stack the courts? (Hint: duh)
    • Is the ABA's rating committee biased? (Hint: only one person thinks so)
    • Should Al Franken resign? (Hint: reasonable minds may differ)

    All that and three great listener questions - give it all a good listen, and keep it legal!

    1 hr 10 min
  • 2017 11 11 The Law Is My Ass E44

    This week Sid and Joe go guest-free to bring you all the latest in the Travel Ban update, Supreme Court Roundup, Random Legal News, a Listener Question - and the podcast's newest feature: "Objection!" Along the way, they answer the following:

    • Does the podcast now have one episode for every president of the United States (Hint: depends whether you count Trump)
    • What's up with the Travel Ban 3.0 appeals (Hint: oral arguments in a month)
    • What's the Supreme Court been up to (Hint: Three opinions, two oral arguments, and an upcoming case featuring podcast guest Jamie Lee Williams!)
    • What's a bed bug bite worth? (Hint: around $50,000)
    • Is Cal. Rule of Prof. Conduct 5-110(d) > Brady? (Hint: yes!)
    • How can you revive the long-expired statutes of limitations on your sexual misconduct? (Hint: call someone a liar)
    • Can you be prosecuted for laughing at Jeff Sessions? (Hint: can - yes; will - no)
    • Is "opioid overdose" hard to say quickly? (Hint: seems to be)
    • Should federal district judge nominees have some litigation experience? (Hint: we would hope so - but apparently not)
    • What's up with Colin Kaepernick's NFL "collusion" grievance? (Hint: listen and find out!)

    All that and more - so turn on, tune in, and keep it legal!

    44 min
  • 2017_11_03 The Law Is My Ass E43 with Vernon Grigg on the Mueller indictments

    In the 43rd episode of The Law Is My Ass, Sid and Joe have a terrific conversation with former prosecutor Vernon Grigg III about the significance and implications of the indictments and plea deal that were unsealed this last Monday in the Robert Mueller investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 US presidential election. Along the way the answer the following questions on everybody's minds:

    • Did the Ninth Circuit specifically schedule the oral argument in the current travel ban appeal just to mess with Sid's law school final exams? (Hint: signs point to yes)
    • Has the Fourth Circuit decided to get in on that action yet? (Answer: finally, yes!)
    • The Supreme Court heard oral argument in four cases last week - any of them interesting? (Hint: nah)
    • Is the Notorious RGB retiring any time soon? (Hint: that'd be an emphatic "no")
    • As between the lawyers and the city of Los Angeles, who wins? (Hint: starts with an "L" ends with an "S" . . .)
    • Should I continue to buy Bosch tools and appliances? (Hint: Bosch is going to need all the revenue it can get)
    • How's Trump's military transgender policy going? (Hint: enjoined)
    • Are the charges against Manafort and Gates just cotton candy? (Hint: no)
    • Should Jeff Sessions be concerned (Hint: hard to say, but he probably renewed his prescription for antacids last week)
    • Is there more to come from Mueller? (Hint: sure looks that way)
    • Does the POTUS have any mechanism to shit this whole thing down? (Hint: several, but no good ones)

    All that and more - give us a listen! Send your listener questions for next week to [email protected], and in the meantime - keep it legal!™ 

    1 hr 1 min
  • 2017 10 28 The Law Is My Ass E42 on mediation and ADR with Cathy Yanni

    In this the 42nd Episode of The Law Is My Ass, Sid and Joe round up the Supreme Court's week, the new developments in the Travel Ban Litigation at the Ninth Circuit, and interview mediator extraordinaire Cathy Yanni about mediation. Along the way, they answer some questions:

    • Is standard of review interesting? (Hint: No, but it's important)
    • Is travel ban 2.0 moot? (Hint: it's now officially the mootest)
    • Does the FBI protect its informants from murder (Hint: the dead ones don't think so)
    • Can climate forecasting software be used to do DNA matching? (Hint: ProPublica has its doubts)
    • Did the Senate sell us all out to the big banks last week? (Hint: that's an unqualified "yes")
    • Does Betsy DeVos hate disabled children? (Hint: signs point to yes)
    • Is the Mueller investigation producing some fruit? (Hint: late summer melons, perhaps)
    • Is mediation good or bad? (Hint: on balance, good)

    All that and a great listener question about corporate First Amendment rights in the post-Hobby Lobby era! Give it a listen, and keep it legal!™ 

    1 hr 9 min
  • 2017 10 21 The Law Is My Ass E41 on Supreme Court and Random News and impeachment

    In this week's mercifully short (34 minutes!), guest-free, FORTY-FIRST (wow!) episode of The Law Is My Ass, Sid and Joe round up two weeks worth of Supreme Court oral arguments and Random News, and in response to a listener question, give the lowdown on how the whole process of presidential impeachment works. Along the way, they answer:

    • Do the names of show segments have more gravitas when read with an echo effect? (Hint: indubitably!)
    • Is anyone going to jail for poisoning the water in Flint, MI? (Hint: we can hope)
    • Should you tell your secrets to Equifax or Whole Foods? (Hint: if those are your only two choices, just keep your secrets to yourself)
    • Can schools punish students who don't wish to stand for the pledge of allegiance? (Hint: the courts will have to decide)
    • Did Uber commit corporate espionage? (Hint: signs point to maybe!)
    • Can municipalities regulate gun shops? (Hint: in the 9th Circuit they sure can!)
    • Does the Innocence Project do great work? (Hint: YES!)
    • Did US companies help fund Iraqi troops who targeted US forces? (Hint: Signs point to quite possibly)
    • Can Joe Arpaio have his contempt conviction vacated? (Hint: not this week!)
    • When will Trump's lawyers be richer than Trump? (Hint: about two more years)
    • Is Trump going to be impeached any time soon? (Hint: doubtful!)

    And if that's not enough, you're expectations are just too high. Give it a listen, tune in next week to hear our guest, career Mediator Cathy Yanni, and in the meantime, keep it legal!

    35 min
  • 2017 10 06 The Law Is My Ass E40 with Shawn Matloob on Immigration Travel Bans and DACA

    In this the exciting FORTIETH episode of The Law Is My Ass, immigration expert Shawn Matloob joins us for our weekly Travel Ban Litigation Update, and to talk about all things immigration, including DACA. Along the way we try to answer the following questions:

    • What podcast co-host as the greatest ability to make the most inappropriate joke at the most inappropriate time? (Hint: stars with an S, ends with a D, and I is in the middle)
    • Does Justice Ginsburg hate Justice Gorsuch? (Hint: well, he's no Antonin Scalia, but probably not)
    • How's it looking for Gill v. Whitford? (Hint: good?)
    • What about employees with class claims (Hint: less so)
    • What about public sector labor unions (Hint: on life support)
    • Does all the important litigation originate in Wisconsin? (Hint: no but it does seem that way sometimes)
    • Is it wise to to send a picture of your genitals to an underage girl? (Hint: definitely not in Indiana)
    • Is it was to plant drugs on someone you hate and then call the cops (Hint: not if you leave your DNA on them)
    • What is Love, anyway? (Hint: the FDA says it's "intervening material")

    All that and a listener question to boot! Tune in, check it out, and keep it legal! Also, listen twice because we're off next week ;)

    1 hr 23 min

About The Law Is My Ass

From the publisher's feed

The Law Is My Ass (apologies to Charles Dickens), AKA "Law My Ass," provides smart, humorous, commentary on current legal news and issues - from new Supreme Court decisions, to pending legislation, to…