The Leadership Break

Episode 12 - Hard Conversations & Money Wounds: What I'm Learning Lately

Summary: In this episode of The Leadership Break, Paula shares what she's been reflecting on while reading The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher and Make Money Easy by Lewis Howes. From navigating tough conversations to healing money wounds, she offers personal stories and coaching insights that connect the dots between communication, self-worth, and leadership.

What You'll Hear About:

• Why creating space for the next conversation matters more than winning the current one

• A personal story about revisiting a hard conversation that built trust

• How money wounds can shape our relationship with worth and pricing

• What it looks like to rewrite stories around money, value, and leadership

• One powerful question to ask yourself before any tough conversation

Take This With You: Leading well means connecting deeply — with others and with yourself. Whether you're navigating a difficult dialogue or rethinking your money mindset, courage and curiosity can change the outcome.

Links & Resources:

• The Next Conversation – Jefferson Fisher

• Make Money Easy – Lewis Howes

• Listen to more episodes at Aiyana Coaching

Stay Connected: Loved this episode? Share it with a friend, and let Paula know what it sparked for you. You can message her on Instagram or LinkedIn @aiyanacoaching.

Music by Chris Collins, https://indiemusicbox.com/

The Leadership Break – Episode 11: Delivering Difficult Feedback with Compassion

Host: Paula, Leadership and Mental Health Coach

Episode Summary:

Welcome back to The Leadership Break! In today's episode, we're diving into a challenge every leader faces but few feel equipped to handle: delivering difficult feedback.

Paula shares real coaching insights and introduces a practical, human-centered approach to handling tough conversations with clarity, empathy, and courage. You'll walk away with a powerful model to guide your next feedback conversation—and maybe even shift how you think about feedback altogether.

💡 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why avoiding difficult feedback weakens your team—not protects it.
• The cost of sidestepping hard conversations.
• How to approach feedback with clarity and compassion.
• A simple, powerful tool: the ONIS Model (Observation, Notice, Impact, Solution).
• What not to do: like the feedback sandwich or emotionally loaded language.
• The mindset shift from performance management to human-centered leadership.

🧠 Key Takeaways:

• "Direct is kind." —Brené Brown (and Paula agrees!)
• Difficult feedback done well strengthens trust, rather than breaks it.
• Leading with empathy starts before the conversation begins.
• Listening deeply and reflecting back builds psychological safety.
• Feedback is a bridge, not a breakdown.

🛠️ The ONIS Model:

1. O – Observation: Start with what you've seen or heard, without judgment.
2. N – Notice: Name the behavior neutrally (not assumptions).
3. I – Impact: Share the effect it's having on the team or outcomes.
4. S – Solution: Invite a collaborative way forward.

✨ Leadership Challenge:

Think of one conversation you've been avoiding. Ask yourself: "What would it look like to approach it with empathy and the ONIS model?"

📝 Journaling Prompt:

What gets in the way of delivering feedback for me? What becomes possible if I lead with compassion instead of fear?

📩 Connect with Paula:

Tried the ONIS model or had a breakthrough? Paula would love to hear from you! Send her an email at [email protected] and share how it went.

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who could use a little more courage and clarity in their leadership. And remember…

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts.

Until next time: Keep leading with heart—and don't forget to take your break. 💛

#Leadership #Mindset #ResilientLeadership #LeadingWithHeart

Music by Chris Collins, https://indiemusicbox.com/

Episode Summary:

Welcome back to The Leadership Break – the podcast for people who serve, support, and lead others… and sometimes just need a moment to breathe. In this special Behind the Break episode, Paula steps out from behind the mic to share a raw and honest moment from her own leadership journey.

Ever found yourself whispering, "I can't do this anymore"? This episode is for you.

Paula opens up about a recent season of emotional fatigue—not quite burnout, but something heavy—and the quiet yet powerful decisions she made to return to herself. She talks about how to listen to what exhaustion is really saying, and why taking a break doesn't mean giving up.

From reworking her schedule to asking a hard question—what part of me wants to quit?—this episode is an invitation to reflect, recalibrate, and reclaim your energy.

In This Episode:

• The real story behind "Behind the Break"
• What it means to want to quit—not the work, but the way we're doing it
• Signs you might be leading from exhaustion, not energy
• Small shifts that made a big difference (like blocking off mornings, walking pad wins, and lunch breaks!)
• A gentle reminder: you can rest without quitting

Reflection Question and Guide: Is it the work itself… or the way you've been carrying the work?

For a free reflection guide: https://aiyanacoaching.com/free-workbook-for-podcast-listeners/

Paula's Invitation: Take a break before your body or spirit forces you to. Even a 10-minute pause with honesty can change how you show up.

Connect with Paula: If this episode spoke to you, send a message and share what kind of leadership break you need right now. Let's keep the conversation going.

Stay in touch:

• Share your thoughts or questions with Paula by emailing her at [email protected].
• Stay tuned for more insights on leadership and communication in upcoming episodes of The Leadership Break.

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts.

Until next time: Keep leading with heart—and don't forget to take your break. 💛

#Leadership #Mindset #ResilientLeadership #LeadingWithHeart

Music by Chris Collins, https://indiemusicbox.com/

Podcast Show Notes: Grief and Growth: A Leader's Journey (Part 2)

Episode Summary: Welcome back to The Leadership Break! In this episode, we continue exploring leadership through grief, focusing on how to support a team member navigating their own grief journey. We'll discuss how to foster both personal growth and team well-being, offering flexibility, connecting with resources, and maintaining the delicate balance between empathy and professionalism. Leaders who create a safe space and provide genuine support can transform challenges into opportunities for collective growth.

Key Takeaways: We explore five essential areas for leaders to support grieving team members:

1. Create a Safe Space for Expression

   • Encourage open dialogue in a judgment-free environment.
   • Build trust by sharing relatable (but not assumptive) experiences.
   • Balance empathy with professionalism by respecting boundaries and individual needs.

2. Offer Flexibility and Adjust Workloads

   • Adapt schedules and allow remote work where possible.
   • Delegate and redistribute tasks to avoid overwhelming any single team member.
   • Show the team that their well-being is a priority.

3. Connect Team Members with Professional Resources

   • Share information about Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) and counseling services.
   • Normalize seeking professional support and offer encouragement.
   • Let team members know they have options without pressuring them.

4. Regular Check-ins with Empathy

   • Conduct informal, scheduled one-on-ones to provide a safe space for discussion.
   • Balance work discussions with emotional support.
   • Respect personal boundaries while remaining accessible.

5. Respect Their Process and Privacy

   • Allow individuals to grieve at their own pace without imposing expectations.
   • Maintain confidentiality and avoid discussing personal grief in group settings.
   • Recognize that grief manifests differently for each person, requiring a tailored approach.

Final Thoughts: Supporting a grieving team member is an honor and an opportunity to strengthen workplace relationships. As leaders, our ability to navigate these moments with compassion and understanding can foster a resilient, supportive culture.

Call to Action: Thank you for listening to The Leadership Break! If today's episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might find it valuable. Don't forget to subscribe for more conversations on leadership, growth, and resilience. Keep leading with empathy, and we'll see you next time!

Subscribe & Follow:

• Apple Podcasts | Spotify
• Connect with us on at https://aiyanacoaching.com/

#Leadership #GriefSupport #EmpathyInLeadership #GrowthThroughGrief

The Leadership Break

Episode: Leading Through Grief – A Leader's Journey (Part 1)

Host: Paula Chapulis, PCC - ICF Certified Leadership and Mental Health Coach

Episode Overview: Navigating leadership while experiencing personal loss is one of the toughest challenges a leader can face. In today's episode of The Leadership Break, I share my personal experience of leading while grieving, as well as practical strategies to support yourself as a leader during times of loss. This is Part 1 of a two-part series. In this episode, we focus on how you can manage your own grief while continuing to lead effectively. In Part 2, we'll explore ways to support team members who are grieving.

Key Takeaways:

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Emotions
   • Grief is a natural part of the human experience, not a sign of weakness.
   • The RAIN Principle (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) can help process emotions.
   • Being open about emotions can foster trust within your team.
2. Prioritize Self-Care and Seek Support
   • Self-care isn't just about external comforts; it's about inner kindness and self-compassion.
   • Therapy or counseling can provide valuable support, especially for complicated grief.
   • Peer support groups and mentorship can be powerful resources for healing.
3. Practice Open and Transparent Communication
   • Honest dialogue helps create a culture of trust and resilience.
   • Setting and communicating boundaries is crucial to prevent burnout.
   • Temporary shifts in productivity are normal—be upfront about your needs.
4. Set Realistic Goals and Adjust Expectations
   • Reassessing priorities can help you focus on what truly matters.
   • Delegating tasks can create opportunities for team growth and development.
   • Adapting your leadership style to your emotional capacity can build resilience.

Tune in to Part 2 for more insights on how to support grieving team members while maintaining a strong and compassionate leadership presence.

Resources & Links:

• Connect with me: https://aiyanacoaching.com/
• Instagram: aiyanacoaching
• LinkedIn: aiyanacoaching

• More on the RAIN Principle by Tara Brach: https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/
• Recommended Reading on Grief & Leadership: https://grief.com/

💡 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with others who may find it helpful. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review!

The Leadership Break: The Truth About Self-Care for Leaders

Episode Summary: Welcome back to The Leadership Break, the space where leaders come to unwind, refuel, and reinforce self-belief. In this episode, we're rethinking self-care—not as external luxuries like vacations or spa days, but as an inside job. Leaders, you carry the emotional weight of your teams, organizations, and missions, and true self-care starts with how you treat yourself internally.

We'll explore: ✅ How your inner dialogue impacts your leadership. ✅ The role of self-compassion in building resilience. ✅ Practical strategies to manage self-criticism and reframe negative thoughts. ✅ The power of emotional awareness and how to process challenging feedback.

You set the tone for your team—so what kind of weather do you bring? Let's dive in and discover how internal self-care sustains strong and effective leadership.

Key Takeaways:

🔹 Self-Care Begins Internally – External self-care is great, but it doesn't address the root of burnout, stress, or self-doubt. Your internal dialogue plays a crucial role in how you show up as a leader.

🔹 Challenge Negative Self-Talk – Notice when you say things like, "I should have done better." Reframe it with self-compassion: "I did the best I could with what I knew at the time."

🔹 Pause and Check-In with Yourself – When receiving feedback, resist the urge to be defensive. Ask, What's really going on inside me? Acknowledge your emotions instead of dismissing them.

🔹 Use the R.A.I.N. Method (by Tara Brach) to process emotions:

• Recognize the feeling.
• Allow it space.
• Investigate what's behind it.
• Nurture yourself with kindness.

🔹 Practical Tip: Keep a journal of your self-talk. Identify negative patterns and rewrite them in a way that empowers you.

Your Challenge for This Week:

Pay attention to your self-talk, your thought patterns, and how you treat yourself emotionally. What's one small shift you can make to practice self-care from the inside out?

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another leader who needs to hear it.

🎧 Thank you for tuning in to The Leadership Break! Until next time—take a deep breath, give yourself some grace, and keep leading with heart.

Stay in touch:

• Share your thoughts or questions with Paula by emailing her at [email protected].
• Stay tuned for more insights on leadership and communication in upcoming episodes of The Leadership Break.

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts.

#Leadership #SelfCare #Mindset #ResilientLeadership #LeadingWithHeart

Music by Chris Collins, https://indiemusicbox.com/

In this episode of The Leadership Break, Paula Chapulis dives into the art of active listening—a foundational yet often overlooked leadership skill. Discover how mastering active listening can transform your team's communication, foster trust, and boost performance. Paula shares personal insights, practical tips, and actionable strategies to help you enhance this critical skill in your leadership journey.

Key Topics Covered:

1. What is Active Listening?
   • Active listening involves being fully present, engaged, and empathetic while tuning into both verbal and nonverbal communication.
   • It's about listening to understand, not just to respond.
2. Why Active Listening Matters in Leadership
   • Builds trust and psychological safety.
   • Strengthens team relationships and collaboration.
   • Facilitates better decision-making by truly understanding others' perspectives.
3. Core Elements of Active Listening
   • Presence and Attention: Eliminate distractions and focus on the speaker.
   • Empathy and Understanding: Validate feelings and understand intentions beyond words.
   • Clarification and Curiosity: Ask thoughtful questions to ensure clarity and foster deeper conversations.
   • Nonverbal Communication: Use body language to demonstrate attentiveness and interpret unspoken cues.
   • Reflection and Paraphrasing: Summarize and reflect on key points to confirm understanding.
   • Nonjudgmental Space: Create an environment that encourages openness and honesty.
   • Actionable Feedback: Offer thoughtful responses that align with the speaker's needs.
   • Avoid Interruptions: Allow others to fully express their thoughts before responding.
   • Overcome Common Barriers: Address distractions, biases, and emotional reactions.
4. Practical Strategies for Leaders
   • Incorporate active listening into team interactions to foster better communication.
   • Use tools like noticing, observing, sharing impacts, and collaborating on solutions for feedback.

Key Takeaways:

• Active listening is a skill that requires intention, effort, and practice. It's not just about hearing words but truly understanding and connecting with the speaker.
• As a leader, practicing active listening sets the tone for your team, enhances psychological safety, and strengthens relationships.

Quote of the Episode:

"Active listening is a powerful tool in your leadership toolkit. By truly hearing your team, you can build stronger relationships and drive better outcomes."

Call to Action:

• Share your thoughts or questions with Paula by emailing her at [email protected].
• Stay tuned for more insights on leadership and communication in upcoming episodes of The Leadership Break.

Let us know how active listening has impacted your leadership journey! Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts.

Music by Chris Collins, https://indiemusicbox.com/

In this episode of The Leadership Break, Paula Chapulis, an ICF-certified leadership and mental health coach, dives into the critical topic of identity in leadership. Your identity as a leader influences your values, priorities, behaviors, and ultimately, the culture and impact you create. Paula explores five key areas where identity plays a pivotal role in leadership: authenticity, self-awareness, resilience, vision and influence, and inclusivity.

Whether you hold a formal leadership title or not, adopting a leadership mindset can transform how you approach challenges, inspire others, and make decisions. Tune in to discover how understanding and embracing your identity can elevate your leadership journey.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

1. Why Identity Matters:
   • The influence of self-perception on leadership values, decisions, and behaviors.
   • The power of viewing leadership as a mindset rather than a title.
2. Five Key Areas of Leadership Identity:
   • Authenticity: Building trust through alignment of actions and values.
   • Self-Awareness: Understanding strengths, weaknesses, and biases for personal and professional growth.
   • Resilience: Staying centered and focused during adversity.
   • Vision & Influence: Articulating a clear purpose to inspire confidence and align teams.
   • Inclusivity: Recognizing diverse identities and fostering belonging.
3. How Identity Enhances Leadership Skills:
   • Decision-making grounded in core values.
   • Adapting communication styles to connect with diverse audiences.
   • Role modeling values and behaviors for teams.
   • Balancing adaptability with consistency during times of change.
   • Empowering others by embracing and modeling authentic leadership.
4. Reflection Questions for Leaders:
   • Who am I as a leader?
   • What values and beliefs define my leadership?
   • How does my identity influence my interactions?
   • How can I use my identity to build trust and inspire growth in my team?

Key Takeaway: By embracing your identity, you align personal growth with professional impact, creating a leadership style that is both authentic and fulfilling.

Resources and Connection:

Connect with Paula Chapulis and explore her coaching services:

• Website: https://aiyanacoaching.com/
• Instagram: aiyanacoaching
• LinkedIn: aiyanacoaching

Call to Action: Reflect on today's episode and ask yourself: What small step can I take today to align my leadership identity with my actions?

Enjoyed this episode? Don't forget to leave a review, share it with fellow leaders, and join us next time on The Leadership Break!

Music by Chris Collins, https://indiemusicbox.com/

Welcome to The Leadership Break, the podcast where leaders can unwind, recharge, and reconnect with their purpose. I'm your host, Paula Chapulis, an ICF-certified leadership and mental health coach. In this episode, we explore the powerful practice of connecting with your future self—a concept that bridges the gap between your present actions and long-term aspirations.

Whether you're starting a new year, entering a new season of life, or grappling with a tough decision, this episode invites you to envision your future self and consider what they might need or want you to know today. Through insights and a guided exercise, you'll discover how this practice can help you gain clarity, reduce stress, and align with your long-term goals.

Key Takeaways:

• The Power of Future Self-Connection: How visualizing your future self promotes purpose, resilience, and identity growth.
• 7 Reasons Why It Matters: From enhancing self-compassion to improving decision-making and emotional regulation.
• A Guided Contemplation Exercise: Journey to meet your wiser elder self and access their insights to inform your current challenges.
• Recommended Reading: Learn more about intentional transformation through Be Your Future Self by Dr. Benjamin Hardy, and explore his earlier works co-authored with Dan Sullivan, such as The Gap and the Gain.

Resources Mentioned:

• Be Your Future Self: The Science of Intentional Transformation by Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• The Gap and the Gain by Dr. Benjamin Hardy & Dan Sullivan
• Positive Intelligence practices by Shirzad Chamine

Reflection Questions:

• What did you learn from connecting with your wiser elder self?
• How can these insights guide your decisions and actions today?

Connect with Paula:

• Website: https://aiyanacoaching.com/
• Instagram: aiyanacoaching
• LinkedIn: aiyanacoaching

Thanks for taking a break with me today! Take a moment for yourself—listen, reflect, and step closer to becoming the best leader you can be. If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share it with other leaders, and leave a review. Let's keep the conversation going on LinkedIn or Instagram—find me at @aiyanacoaching.

Until next time, take care and keep believing in yourself.

Music by Chris Collins, https://indiemusicbox.com/

Episode Summary: In this episode of The Leadership Break, host Paula Chapulis, an ICF-certified leadership and mental health coach, dives into the concept of the pause and why it's a game-changer for leaders and coaches alike. Paula shares insights from her journey toward becoming a Master Certified Coach (MCC) and reflects on the importance of slowing down to foster deeper connections, encourage team growth, and enhance problem-solving.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• How pausing enhances presence, listening, and intuition as a coach.
• The parallels between coaching and leadership when it comes to pausing before responding or acting.
• Why asking questions and encouraging others to find their own solutions leads to better results in leadership.
• Lessons from Paula's journey toward MCC certification, including unlearning old habits and embracing mastery.
• The concept of "one problem, two solutions" as a leadership tool.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Power of a Pause in Coaching:
   • A pause allows you to be fully present and invested in the moment.
   • It helps coaches catch subtle cues, fostering deeper exploration and client transformation.
2. Pausing in Leadership:
   • Pausing before speaking or acting can lead to more thoughtful decisions and stronger team dynamics.
   • Encouraging team members to think critically and propose solutions builds their confidence and skills.
3. The Journey to Mastery:
   • Paula's pursuit of MCC certification is teaching her to slow down, trust her intuition, and deepen her practice.
   • Mastery requires unlearning old habits, embracing new perspectives, and leaning into curiosity.
4. Practical Leadership Strategies:
   • Use the "one problem, two solutions" approach to empower your team to think critically.
   • Build pauses into conversations to encourage deeper dialogue and innovative solutions.

Mentioned in the Episode:

• Coach Training World: A transformative coach education program led by Ferocia Knight. https://coachtrainingworld.com/
• International Coach Federation (ICF): Learn more about coaching certifications at coachingfederation.org.
• Eric Therwanger of ThinkGreat: Dynamic speaker and advocate for leaders. https://www.thinkgreat90.com/

Reflection Questions for Listeners:

• Where can you incorporate more pauses in your leadership or coaching practice?
• How can pausing help you build stronger relationships with your team or clients?
• What would happen if you focused more on inquiry and less on immediate problem-solving?

Connect with Paula:

• Website: https://aiyanacoaching.com/
• Instagram: aiyanacoaching
• LinkedIn: aiyanacoaching

Thank you for taking a pause with us today on The Leadership Break! If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and share it with your network. Stay tuned for more insights to help you unwind, refuel, and reinforce your self-belief as a leader.