I want to share a few quotes with you from Mary Oliver. The first one reads, “Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” The second quote reads, “To pay attention. This is our endless and proper work.” The third quote reads, “Ten times a day something happens in me like this. Some strengthening throb of amazement. Some good sweet empathic ping and swell. This is the first, the wildest and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness.” I want to share those quotes with you and encourage you to pay attention today whatever it is that means for you.

One of the causes of unnecessary suffering in your life is the word should. There’s this belief that you should do something or should not do it. Then you go and ask your friends and your family, “Should I do this? Should I not do this?” Sometimes you pay advisors and consultants. “What should I do next?” That's not the right question. The right question is, “How do I do this?” Find something you want to do. Then ask how do I do this. Start doing it. If you don’t want to do the work, then there's your answer. So that's the shortcut. There is no should. Just what you want to do and how you go about it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to [email protected].

Today I want to talk about one of the side effects of upleveling. That way you're not caught off guard when it happens to you as you try to make improvements in your life and strive for more within yourself and beyond yourself. This is the feeling that you'll be lonely. Imagine that you're getting into an elevator and you can't take everybody with you. Not everybody's going to come up at the same time as you. Anticipate it, be prepared for it and do not be dismayed. It's part of the ride. Fear not, there will be another group waiting at your destination floor. You’ll find and make new friends that resonate at your new bandwidth and find that the lonely ride was worth it.

Sometimes we treat goals like they’re some kind of mecca. Goals are opportunities to engage ourselves in a process. If you don't find a way to appreciate and enjoy the process which is the journey along the way, you’ll be shocked. You’ll reach your goal and it won’t give you the lasting feeling that you hoped for. That's part of why you can have all the goals and have reached and achieved everything that you set your mind to and still be disgruntled and dissatisfied. A little empty and unfulfilled. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to [email protected].

Today I want to talk about stress mastery. At some point as human beings we’re all going to encounter stress. One important step is to assess whether the stress is due to expectations, comparisons, capacity, relationships or ability. If it's due to expectations, then there's some mindset work that needs to happen to adjust those expectations. If it’s due to comparisons, find a lower bar to compare to so you feel better about yourself. If it's due to capacity, this will involve you learning a new skill or bringing some additional help in to expand that capacity.  If the stress is due to relationships then perhaps those relationships need to be re-defined or conversations need to be had. If the stress is due to sheer ability, sometimes it’s best just to remove yourself from the situation.

Today I want to talk about nourishment for our bodies. Our bodies are physical containers for our mind, spirit and soul. We want to take care of it. Sometimes a diet has a negative connotation. Instead of thinking about a diet for your body, think about nourishment for your body. What kind of food can you eat today that's yummy and delicious and you'll feel good about yourself after you've eaten it. While you're eating, be mindful. Consider at which point there is a diminishing return on the joy you receive from eating it because that's your maximum point of nourishment. That's a great point to stop at. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to [email protected]

I want to share a mindfulness practice with you on how to handle particularly strong emotions or feelings that are perhaps crippling or disabling. For example: Anxiety. Normally you start off, “I'm so anxious.” I want you to put the words, “I'm having the thought...” in front of that. So in this case, “I'm having the thought that I feel anxious.” This allows you to be a conscious observer of your emotions instead of 100% identifying as the emotion. Next put the words “I notice” in front of that. “I notice I'm having the thought that I feel anxious. From this transcendent state, you can be present with your emotions. Giving yourself enough room to make decisions and take action.

I already know that you have a huge heart because you want to make an impact in the world. So how do you do that and not end up completely overwhelmed by other peoples problems and take on all of their issues as if they were your own? The question I like to ask is, “Whose business are you in?” Ask yourself, “Am I in my business, your business or god’s business?” So if someone comes to me with their problem, I have to recognize that it’s their business and I can just hold space for them. I don’t need to take it on. This is a case where you set a powerful intention to make someone feel seen, heard and acknowledged. They feel empowered to deal and handle their own situation because they have been entrusted and given faith. But it’s not on me. I’m not the one that is going to change their lives, they are. 

What you want is not in your comfort zone otherwise you’d already have it. Your impact in the world is largely going to depend on your ability to sit with your own discomfort. I want you to consider the feelings that really make you uncomfortable and treat them like new kids in a classroom. Say hello vulnerability, hello sadness, hello anger, hello boredom, hello shame, hello grief, hello fear, hello overwhelm, hello shyness, hello self-judgment. Instead of defaulting to defensive patterns like lashing out, ignoring, escaping or perhaps medicating your classmates. You can just say, “I don't know why you're here. You make me very uncomfortable. I don't have to like you but we can sit together while I learn.” These will be your companions on the path to getting what you want. By treating them kindly you're treating yourself kindly.

Today I want to talk about intentions and expectations. An intention is an idea or plan of what you want to do or accomplish. More importantly it's the mental state behind the commitment. It’s the heart and soul of what you want to bring to the table. An expectation on the other hand is a belief that an outcome or experience should be a certain way. If you are thinking about how to go about your day or what to bring to a meeting. Isn’t it more powerful to bring the one that you can control? Which is your intention, the mental mindset, the heart and soul you want to show up as in that interaction.