Daiana Bernard and Cassandra Harris-Towner open with a candid conversation before moving into the heart of the episode: how cumulative grief, secondary loss, identity loss, and estrangement can pile up when life falls apart. They also prepare listeners for an upcoming interview with Andy Ellwood, whose story illustrates these themes in a deeply personal way. In this episode, they connect clinical language to lived experience, explore how faith, community, and therapy can all be both helpful and complicated, and end with reflection questions designed to help listeners make meaning from their own losses.
00:00— Welcome to The Living Loss Podcast and the quiet griefs the show explores
00:26— Estrangement grief, secondary loss, and ambiguous loss
05:00— Why therapists also need therapy and how vicarious grief appears
06:21— Being on the client side and grieving without immediate relief.
07:48— When therapy feels emotionally taxing but remains helpful
12:40— How faith and community can make it harder to ask for help
18:22— The grief frameworks behind Andy’s story
19:53— What ecosystem estrangement means
20:22— The “first death of identity” and choosing an authentic path
27:20— Cumulative grief and secondary loss as a domino effect
28:23— Miscarriage, divorce, home loss, and career collapse as layered losses
33:23— Identity shifts, grief, and joy happening together
34:25— DBT, dialectics, and moving from either/or to both/and thinking
40:47— Living Loss Lessons and reflection questionsLiving Loss Lessons: Three journaling prompts to help you reflect on your own quiet losses. Sit with these questions, write them down, or email your thoughts to the show:
- Have you ever had to step away from a community, belief system, or relationship in order to be true to yourself?
- When your own house of cards fell apart, what parts of your identity did you choose not to pick back up?
- When have you had to hold profound joy and deep grief at the same exact time?
Connect & Resources
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Work With Us
Daiana Bernard, LMHC: MeaningfulTherapyFL.com | [email protected] (In-person Riverview, FL & FL Telehealth)
Cassandra Harris-Towner: [email protected] (In-person Ocala, FL & FL Telehealth)
Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for clinical care. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or The Living Loss Podcast.