The Long Burn

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Brick Walls and Mountain Climbs: Navigating Barriers vs. Challenges

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Jonathan Wade and Joel Malin (humorously revisiting his childhood moniker "Uncle Jones") break down the hidden friction points that stall personal growth, professional transitions, and entrepreneurial ventures. Rather than conducting a typical "wins and losses" segment, the hosts reframe the conversation around Barriers and Challenges. Through relatable life examples, business case studies, and therapeutic insights, Joel and Jonathan provide an actionable roadmap for recognizing when to accept an immovable wall, when to alter your own mindset, and why strategic rest is an underutilized weapon for success.

🧠 Core Themes & Key Takeaways

1. Defining the Friction: Barriers vs. Challenges

To create an actionable path forward, Joel emphasizes the critical psychological difference between external walls and internal hurdles:

• Barriers (The Immovable Wall): An external, fixed, or unyielding reality that completely stops progress in a specific direction. Barriers are entirely out of an individual's control. Attempting to apply brute force against a barrier yields diminishing returns.
• Challenges (The Mountain Climb): A complex obstacle or difficult circumstance that demands personal growth, effort, or a shift in skill to overcome. Overcoming a challenge requires changing oneself and your own routine to build endurance and capacity.
• The Litmus Test: Joel shares a simple, practical analogy for detecting hidden barriers: What is the thing you are actively doing instead of the thing you should be doing? He notes how his own goal of getting to the gym early was continually derailed by a seemingly harmless barrier—lingering on the couch for a comfortable, third cup of coffee.

2. Radical Acceptance and Strategic Pivots

When facing a true structural barrier, successful individuals must practice radical acceptance rather than falling into a passive "victim mentality".

• Therapy and Insurance Regulations: Joel opens up about his baseline barrier as a therapist: he refuses to participate in traditional insurance models because insurance companies strip clinical control away from providers and treat patients like paychecks. Realizing he could never change the massive insurance system, Joel executed a strategic pivot to exclusively seek out salaried care settings.
• The Direct Primary Care (DPC) Battle: In Dr. Wade’s realm of DPC (Orchard Health), the fact that major employers exclude DPC from baseline benefit packages is a market barrier. The challenge, however, lies in proactively educating employers and patients about the long-term value of accessible, high-quality care to earn their trust.
• Redefining Contentment: True contentment is not simply having enough; it is choosing to believe that what you currently have is enough. Jonathan shares his mindset shift following the painful closure of his Valdosta office venture. Instead of wallowing in a 6-week holding pattern of self-pity and letting his primary practice stagnate, he focused on deep appreciation for the thriving patient panel he already had, transforming a perceived failure into a vital learning opportunity.

3. The Deconstructed Pathway and the Weapon of Rest

• The "Just for Today" Mentality: When a long-term goal feels so massive that it transforms into a psychological barrier, it must be deconstructed. Borrowing a page from his distance-running background and the foundational principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Joel highlights the power of focusing entirely on the next micro-milestone or simply choosing the right path "just for today".
• Rest as a Direct KPI: Both hosts vehemently challenge the "go, go, go" hustle culture. Jonathan cites concepts from the book 10X Is Easier Than 2X, noting that top-tier entrepreneurs intentionally build massive blocks of rest into their annual schedules to fully recuperate.
• The Danger of "Use it or Lose it" Momentum: Joel points out a common pitfall he witnesses among the Navy sailors he treats—accumulating annual leave but refusing to use it out of fear of losing professional momentum. Operating in a constant state of exhaustion means you cannot offer your family or your business the best version of yourself. If your system relies on you functioning at 100% human capacity every single day without rest, it is mathematically structured for failure.

📖 Story Time with Uncle Jones: The Origins of Instagram

To close out the episode, Joel introduces a new segment mapping these concepts to the business world:

• The Original App (Bourbon): Founders Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger initially launched a highly complex social app called Bourbon, which focused primarily on location check-ins.
• Hitting the Wall: The app gained zero mainstream traction. The market presented a clear barrier: users simply did not want another clunky check-in system.
• The 90-Degree Pivot: Instead of bashing their heads against the wall to force adoption, the founders looked at user behavior data. They noticed users were completely ignoring the check-in data but were utterly obsessed with a minor, secondary feature: taking, filtering, and sharing photos. By stripping away the clunky features and leaning directly into the photo feature, Instagram was born.

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Quiet Leadership: Pouring Time and Faith Into the Front Lines

Episode Overview

In this episode, hosts Joel Malin and Dr. Jonathan Wade are joined by a special guest, Mr. Roderick Smith—a barber of 35 years, a local councilman, restaurant owner, and founding president of Nashville, Georgia's Dads Program. The conversation shifts away from purely business scaling to look at the health of a community through the lens of frontline leadership, quiet acts of service, and the irreplaceable value of sacrificing our most fleeting commodity: time.

📈 Weekly Wins & Losses

Joel Malin

• The Win: Celebrating a much-needed "date day" with his wife, Christy, ahead of the Fourth of July. They took their boat out on the water, providing a beautiful opportunity to disconnect from work and parental responsibilities and just enjoy being together.
• The Loss: Severe sunburns. Christy ended up with a massive X-shaped burn on her back from her swimsuit, prompting Joel to affectionately dub her the newest member of the X-Men while applying aloe.

Dr. Jonathan Wade

• The Win: Hosting friends in the backyard for a fantastic Fourth of July celebration and catching up on old times.
• The Loss: Matching Joel's sun exposure. The brutal holiday sun scorched his skin on day one, forcing him to buy SPF 100 on day two—making him joke that his dermatologist will be very happy to stay in business.

Roderick Smith

• The Win: Enjoying a peaceful holiday weekend to relax and share the company of good friends while doing some deeply personal cooking.
• The Loss: The inevitable, jarring return to reality on Monday morning.

🧠 Core Themes & Key Takeaways

1. Frontline vs. Behind-the-Scenes Impact

Roderick operates on a foundational philosophy: "less is more". Rather than using his 25 to 30 years of deep community activism and his position as a city councilman as bragging rights, he emphasizes getting into the trenches. True leadership relies on actions over words, knowing both how to get sweaty on the front lines playing with local kids and how to quietly handle administrative logistics behind closed doors.

2. The Power of Single Runs: The Dads Program

Celebrating its 14th year, the program Roderick founded was born out of a personal vision during a challenging life situation. Transitioning from a direct mentoring program to a broad community outreach network, the group quietly stands in the gap for those in need.

• Quiet Generosity: Roderick highlights that impact doesn't require a home run. The group frequently steps in for small, anonymous victories—like going to the local high school to quietly pay for 25 or 30 senior shirts for students who couldn't afford them.

3. The Stagnant Threat: Paying Attention to Baselines

When asked to evaluate the health of a community similarly to a business, Roderick identifies complacency and a lack of observation as the greatest threats.

• Reading Behavior: As a product of a single-parent household raised by a hardworking mother, Roderick emphasizes that "every child has a story". Drawing from 17 years as a substitute teacher and 15 years as a basketball coach, he stresses the critical importance of observing kids' physical demeanor rather than just listening to their words.
• The Handshake Rule: He shares a poignant story of a player who gave a "lazy handshake" before practice. Because Roderick knew the boy's normal baseline, he noticed the shift, pushed past the superficial "I'm good, coach," and created a safe space for the student to open up and receive help.

4. Giving Time as an Asset

While writing a financial check is easy, allocating quality time is society's most fleeting commodity. Jonathan recalls a powerful memory from coaching his son's AAU basketball team in Atlanta and Jacksonville. Realizing he was the only dad who traveled with the coaches, Jonathan chose to pile six players into his hotel room and sleep on the floor so they could have the beds. That simple sacrifice of physical comfort and time poured "soup into the soul" of everyone involved.

5. Praying In and Out of Season

Sustaining this level of community output alongside running a business requires a supernatural anchor. Recently celebrating the 3-year anniversary of his restaurant, Roderick admits to frequently burning the candle at both ends and battling the desire to give up on a daily basis. He credits his endurance entirely to a deep, active prayer life.

🎯 Mindset Anchors & Quotes

• On Authentic Motivation: "It has to be more than their money... it's a monetary gain, but at the end of the day, what else do you get out of it? It's got to be felt deeper than your wallet." — Roderick Smith & Joel Malin
• On Over-Exertion: "Sometimes we try to fight through, and that's probably the worst thing you can do... to just be Superman all the time. At the end of the day, you have to take the stress hat and just put it to the side." — Roderick Smith
• On Replenishment: "We talk a lot about how you can't pour from an empty cup. You've got to revitalize yourself so that you can give or get these things done that are part of your 'why'." — Dr. Jonathan Wade

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he Identity Upgrade: Holding the Life You Are Building

Episode Overview

In this episode, Joel Malin, LPC/LMHC and Dr. Jonathan Wade dive into part two of their series on The Fear of Success. While entrepreneurs often default to working harder or doing more when facing obstacles, this conversation centers on a deeper reality: success requires an identity upgrade. The hosts discuss the importance of aligning your mindset, establishing characterological foundations, and recognizing personal limitations to successfully sustain the life and business you are building.

📈 Weekly Wins & Losses

Dr. Jonathan Wade

• The Win: Celebrating real estate momentum, noting that their new short-term rental property is highly successful and already 80% to 90% booked for the month of July.
• The Progress: Continuing to steadily build Orchard Health "one foot in front of the other" while balancing work and family routines now that the kids are out of school for the summer.

Joel Malin

• The Win: Enjoying quality time off to handle childcare for his three-month-old son, Gideon. Joel shared the joy of seeing his son hitting milestones like laughing and sleeping longer during the day.
• The Loss / Challenge: Navigating career movement and intentionally searching for ways to introduce more simplicity and peace into his family's routine. Joel's goal is to find options that will reduce stress and allow his wife to focus more on being a stay-at-home mom.

🧠 Core Themes & Key Takeaways

1. Who You Are vs. What You Do

When entrepreneurs hit barriers, the immediate instinct is often to grind harder, wake up earlier, or increase the workload. Jonathan challenges this mentality by explaining that sustainable success isn't about what you are doing—it is about who you are. True growth occurs when you shift from an external goal orientation ("I want to work out more") to an internal identity statement ("I am a person who values my health").

2. Anchoring Progress in an Honest "Why"

Jonathan shares a clinical story of a patient who lost 25 pounds simply by cutting out empty calories and going to the gym daily—advice that had sat in his medical chart for three years. Joel points out that information alone isn't enough; sustainable progress requires finding a powerful, personal motivator or a better "why" (such as family or specific legacy goals) to bridge the gap between knowing what to do and actually becoming the person who does it.

3. Setting Realistic Frameworks Within Your Constraints

While big goals are valuable, Joel cautions that goals must remain anchored to a realistic framework that accounts for your actual environment, physical limitations, and family dynamic. Setting a foundation for success is rarely glamorous or heavily recognized behind the scenes; it requires falling in love with the nitty-gritty process and crawling before you walk. Jonathan reflects on how managing Orchard Health's 1,700 patients across multiple providers and staff would have completely overwhelmed his 2018 self, but incremental identity shifts made it possible to sustain over time.

4. Success as a Characterological Foundation

Joel emphasizes that lasting success is fundamentally characterological. While it is possible to "con" your way into temporary achievement, a life built on a weak foundation will ultimately crumble under intense pressure.

• The Pressure Test: Borrowing a classic analogy, Joel notes that when you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. The true test of whether you can sustain success is what naturally leaks out of your character when push comes to shove and you are at your lowest or most pressured moments.
• Inviting Feedback: Building this foundation requires identifying internal insecurities and character flaws. The best way to find those blind spots is by intentionally seeking out honest feedback from the people who know us best, even when it is the feedback we least want to hear.

🎯 Mindset Anchors & Quotes

• On Identity Expansion: "It's your identity that you have to become... to be that person who can do the things and be in the rooms and accomplish the things that you set out to do." — Dr. Jonathan Wade
• On Sustainable Character: "You don't need to think about the best version of you that can sustain success. You need to think about the worst version of you that can sustain success. And in those worst moments, is that person... capable of sustaining success?" — Joel Malin
• On Integrity: "People that keep promises have integrity... saying what you mean and meaning what you say and sticking to it... is really the foundation of that identity change." — Dr. Jonathan Wade

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Raising Your Thermostat: Overcoming the Fear of Success

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Jonathan Wade and Joel Malin, LPC/LMHC explore a rarely discussed but highly destructive entrepreneurial obstacle: The Fear of Success. While most business owners focus heavily on avoiding failure, this discussion unpacks the way we self-sabotage, procrastinate, and battle imposter syndrome when things actually start going right. Through deeply personal identity stories, they break down the psychological and spiritual adjustments required to sustain high-level growth.

📈 Weekly Wins & Losses

Joel Malin

• The Win: Celebrating his very first Father's Day. Joel shared a touching realization at church watching his three-month-old son, Gideon, mirror his parent's calm, smiling expressions to regulate his own fear of the loud environment.
• The Loss / Phase Change: Learning to manage a rapid new pace. With a high volume of new opportunities pulling his brain in "ten different directions at once," Joel is focusing on utilizing fitness and healthy coping mechanisms to stay anchored.

Dr. Jonathan Wade

• The Win: Successfully listing, booking, and receiving a five-star review for their third short-term rental property, bringing immense peace of mind to his wife, Candace.
• The Loss / Learning: Transitioning from "finding time" to actively making time. After finally cleaning out the dusty home gym, Jonathan's focus is building the immediate discipline to work out right when getting home rather than sitting down to recount the day.

🧠 Core Themes & Key Takeaways

1. The Firehose Effect: When Success Brings Sovereign Pressure

Jonathan shares a transparent look back at his direct primary care practice in 2020. After steadily growing to a stable 500-patient baseline, they absorbed a massive local employer with 1,000 employees overnight.

• The Reality Shock: The massive dopamine hit of landing a major client was instantly followed by the stark reality of immense responsibility and localized visibility.
• The Reaction: Fearing the spotlight and questioning if the scale was sustainable led to subconscious procrastination—an effort to "kick the can down the road" to avoid the immediate weight of the spotlight.

2. The 90% Done Sabotage

Joel highlights a classic psychological trap: self-sabotaging right on the precipice of crossing your major threshold.

• Looking back at his early mental health career, the grueling timeline toward licensure and the crushing disconnect of working in fast-paced inpatient hospitals caused him to heavily question his path.
• The Solution: It takes radical humility to lean on an outside anchor. A dedicated clinical supervisor stepped into Joel's life, listened to his fears, helped pivot his environment, and provided the outside belief necessary to push past the final 10% hump.

3. Relational Drift & The "Upper Limit Problem"

Success inevitably introduces friction to our existing environments, a concept known as the Upper Limit Problem.

• The Thermostat Metaphor: Everyone possesses an internal "thermostat" dictating how much joy, wealth, or success they feel entitled to experience—often programmed by our family of origin or hometown.
• Breaking the Ceiling: As first-generation degree holders who advanced past their childhood economic baseline, Joel and his brother Steven had to intentionally reset their internal thermostats to overcome residual guilt and discomfort with their achievements.

4. Incremental Identity: Faking It Until You Become It

Jonathan counters imposter syndrome by framing business maturity as an incremental progression.

• You cannot always expect to feel fully equipped for the room you are stepping into.
• By executing consistently and handling challenges "one bite of the elephant at a time," you organically grow into the leader capable of managing what used to terrify you.

🎯 Mindset Anchors & Quotes

• On Growth: "If I just eat this elephant one bite at a time, I can become that person. I can be in the rooms I want to be in." — Dr. Jonathan Wade
• On Alignment: "I need to be intimately aware of what my motivation is... Is this a selfish choice, or is this a humble choice to be a better father, a better husband, or a better impact on people's lives?" — Joel Malin
• On Divine Perspective: In the same way an infant blindly fights a parent who is actively trying to feed or change them, our resistance to painful life trials often blinds us to the ways we are being shaped for the next level.

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Podcast Episode Summary: Honoring Father’s Day & The Legacy of Dads

Show: The Long Burn

Hosts: Joel Malin (Licensed Professional Counselor) & Dr. Jonathan Wade

Themes: Fatherhood, masculinity, selflessness, emotional intelligence, and leaving a "heart legacy."

1. Introduction & Personal Updates

• Setting the Scene: Joel checks in from a warm, 90-degree day in Jacksonville, Florida, while Jonathan connects from Nashville, Georgia.
• The Occasion: With June underway, the hosts dedicate the episode to Father’s Day. Jonathan highlights that this marks Joel’s very first Father’s Day as a new dad to his three-month-old son, Gideon.
• The Goal: A free-form conversation reflecting on their personal experiences, the lessons they learned from their own fathers, and the continuous "juggling act" of being a parent.

2. Personal Reflections: Lessons from Their Fathers

The hosts share deeply personal accounts of how their fathers shaped their views on life, character, and sacrifice.

• Joel’s Story (The Power of Selflessness): * Joel reflects on his father, who passed away from bladder cancer in 2022. He notes how difficult it is to watch the decline of a man who once seemed like the strongest person in the world.
  • He shares a humorous yet poignant memory of a church hiking trip where his father insisted on sleeping outside the shelter so others could stay warm. His dad ended up rolling too close to the campfire and accidentally setting his sleeping bag on fire.
  • The Takeaway: While the event was funny, it proved his father's innate desire to prioritize others. Because his father faced financial instability and layoffs, he often denied himself personal desires (like restoring old cars) to protect his family. From this, Joel learned that life is short and adventures shouldn't be delayed. (Interestingly, his older brother took away the opposite lesson: a lingering sense of financial dread, proving that children interpret the same upbringing differently based on birth order and personality).
• Jonathan’s Story (The Silent Cheerleader):
  • As an only child born to older parents, Jonathan remembers his dad being his ultimate supporter. Despite being 46 years old at the time, his dad would sit on a bucket taking baseball pitches off his shins just to help Jonathan practice.
  • Jonathan’s father had a deep passion for theology, divinity school, and civil service—frequently pulling Jonathan along to volunteer at soup kitchens and church meetings.
  • The Takeaway: Jonathan learned the value of community service and giving back. He describes his father as a quiet, impactful presence whose text messages and phone calls carry immense weight.

3. The Modern Challenges of Fatherhood & Relationships

Joel and Jonathan pivot to the psychological and systemic realities of navigating modern family dynamics.

• The Squeezed Bandwidth: Joel discusses the challenge of managing emotional capacity with a newborn. He realizes he must learn to voice his own emotional needs rather than expecting his wife, Christy, to fulfill everything while she focuses on the baby.
• The Insular Society: Joel notes that historically, tight-knit communities shared the burden of being event planners, pastors, caretakers, and friends. Modern society has turned inward, forcing romantic partners to act as each other's entire social network, maid, caretaker, and emotional anchor—a dynamic that can feel trapping if not balanced.
• Mitigating "Bleed-Over": Jonathan shares that he and his wife intentionally take 30 to 60 minutes when he gets home to discuss work and business so they can consciously set it aside and focus on family time. Joel adds that while work stress will inevitably impact the home (per Family Systems Theory), the key is having healthy outlets so you don't take frustrations out on loved ones.

4. Redefining Masculinity & True Success

• Rites of Passage: Unlike biological milestones for women, modern men lack clear, healthy demarcation lines for transitioning into adulthood.
• Fragile Masculinity vs. True Masculinity: Joel notes that society often ties a man's worth to external metrics—the truck he drives (referencing his Ram 1500 vs. Jonathan's stick-shift Corolla), his income, physique, or athletic knowledge.
• The True Secret: Citing author Donald Miller, Joel notes that true masculinity isn't about societal checkmarks; it's about being comfortable in your own skin, competing only against past versions of yourself, and learning to do hard things.
• Redefining Success: Jonathan stresses that true success doesn't carry a dollar sign. He references a concept from a previous episode: the only two opinions that matter are your 8-year-old self and your 8-year-old self. The 80-year-old version of you won't care about the bank account; they will care about the "heart account."

5. Cultivating a Legacy: "The Long Burn Legacy Letter"

• The Concept: Jonathan introduces a tool they call The Long Burn Legacy Letter. It is a fluid template (to be shared in the show notes/comments) meant to be updated yearly.
• Purpose: It is not a legal will or a eulogy, but a living document detailing the life lessons you have learned and want to pass down to your spouse or children. It forces men to self-reflect on their personal growth, faith, and family goals.
• A Moving Discovery: Joel connects this to a real-life experience. After his father passed, the family found a handwritten note tucked away in his wallet. It was a private legacy statement detailing his profound faith in Jesus Christ and his hope that others saw that love reflected in his life.

6. Closing Advice & Community Engagement

• Ask for Feedback: Joel challenges fathers to explicitly ask their children and spouses for an assessment of how they are doing. He notes that receiving feedback isn't an attack—it's information required to move a relationship from "good" to "great."
• Fathers and Daughters: The hosts briefly touch on the crucial role fathers play in their daughters' lives, noting that a father sets the baseline for what a daughter will expect and accept from a future partner. Jonathan jokingly navigates dealing with his 15-year-old daughter's first breakup.
• Where to Connect: The hosts invite listeners to follow The Long Burn on Substack (for show notes), LinkedIn, Facebook, and the Fire Health Instagram page. Listener feedback and "fan mail" can be submitted directly via Buzzsprout.
• Final Send-off: The hosts wish a Happy Father's Day to all the "High-Impact Males" (HIMs) shaping the next generation.

You can find "The Long Burn Legacy Letter" by clicking on the link below:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BN6UqLz2NajABpIsNImFnww21MOB6Trr/view?usp=sharing

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In this episode, Joel and Jonathan explore the psychological traps of over-focusing on the future or the past. They discuss how professional stress, "destination addiction," and the inability to stay present can create a toxic cycle that robs individuals of their current happiness and impacts their families.

Weekly Wins & Losses

• Joel's Win: After identifying a broken water heater in his guest camper, he used a $45 Amazon part and a YouTube tutorial to fix it himself, saving a $150 repair visit and feeling like a "badass."
• Joel's Loss: Dealing with a disgusting toilet leak into the camper's blackwater tank due to a missing gasket. Thanks to his experience changing baby diapers, he handled it better than expected and fixed it with a $10 part.
• Jonathan's Win: Actively working on his ability to delegate tasks to AI and clinic employees, recognizing that he cannot do everything himself.
• Jonathan's Loss: Reaching a point of feeling entirely overwhelmed by taking on too many loose ends at once, which ultimately forced him into the win of delegating.

Key Concept 1: Tunnel Vision

Joel shares a childhood lesson from his father to explain tunnel vision. Looking through a cardboard paper towel roll restricts your view to minor details, but ripping the tube in half continually broadens your perspective until you see the whole room.

The hosts explain that when individuals fixate on minute details or a singular way to solve a problem, they emotionally blow issues out of proportion. This hyper-focus causes people to lose sight of alternative options and broader perspectives.

Key Concept 2: The Curse of the Time Traveler

Joel introduces a concept developed while working with a transitioning Navy client who struggled to stay grounded in the present.

• Traveling to the Past (Rumination): Regretfully looking backward to try and "perfect" past choices. Joel compares psychological rumination to biological ruminants (like cows chewing cud)—re-chewing and re-processing difficult, already-digested material, which breeds self-doubt and depression.
• Traveling to the Future (Anticipatory Anxiety): Spiraling into endless "what-if" scenarios out of a fear of the unknown, which breeds toxic anxiety.

Both forms of time traveling leave an individual mentally and emotionally absent, turning them into a "ghost at the dinner table" for their families. As Joel notes, "Your heart and your feet have to be in the same place."

Strategic Planning vs. Toxic Time Traveling

Jonathan and Joel discuss how to identify the line between healthy business strategy and toxic anxiety:

Aspect | Strategic Planning | Toxic Time Traveling & Emotional Tone | Driven by excitement, energy, and joy. | Driven by fear, dread, and waking up in a cold sweat.
Action Plan | Grounded in doing the "next right thing" step-by-step. | Overlooking milestones due to "destination addiction."
Boundaries | Time-blocking work so it doesn't bleed into family life. | Being physically present but mentally a shell.

Real-World Applications: The Orchard Health Journey

Jonathan reflects on how these concepts played out across the history of his medical practice, Orchard Health:

• The Compounding Success: Moving from a tiny old bank building in Nashville with 100 initial patients to suddenly gaining 800–900 patients overnight via a partnership with Chaparral Boats. The rapid growth was terrifying and induced future-focused anxiety, but they navigated it one small step at a time.
• The Learning Lesson (Not a Loss): Jonathan opens up about expanding to a second clinic location in Valdosta, which ultimately failed and had to close after 18 months, triggering his first panic attack.
• The Takeaway: Rather than letting the failure paralyze his future ambition, Jonathan chose to view it as a learning lesson rather than a loss. He realized that future growth must happen organically rather than forcing a timeline through destination addiction.

Memorable Quotes

The Verdict

Who should listen?

Entrepreneurs, high-achievers, and anyone struggling to balance long-term goals with family life. This episode serves as an excellent masterclass on mindfulness, boundary setting, and learning how to recover from professional setbacks without losing your presence in the moment.

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Podcast Summary: The Long Burn (Episode 9)

Hosts: Dr. Jonathan Wade & Joel Malin

In this episode, Jonathan and Joel trade their usual banter for a deep dive into how mindset and daily decisions dictate our long-term trajectory. Triggered by a recent podcast Jonathan heard, the hosts debate the semantics of "luck" versus "fortune" and look at how this philosophy directly impacts mental and physical health.

Weekly Wins & Losses

• Joel's Win: Celebrating the pure joy of parenting his happy baby, Gideon, whose grins keep everything else in perspective.
• Joel's Loss: The ongoing, relatable struggle with time management and trying to keep all the daily plates spinning.
• Jonathan's Win: Inches away from launching a third short-term rental property near Greenville, SC, catering to hikers. He frames this venture as a way to give his wife, Candace, an interior design "canvas" to repay her for years of backing his clinical dreams.
• Jonathan's Loss: Learning to recognize when his "cup is full" and admitting he needs to look into hiring an executive assistant to help manage his entrepreneurial workload.

Key Discussion: Fortune vs. Luck

The core of the episode revolves around a philosophical disagreement over a concept Jonathan heard on a podcast detailing the crossroads of fortune and luck.

• Jonathan's Perspective: He views fortune as the static hand you are dealt (birthplace, economics, genetics) and luck as something you actively create through choices, mindset, and putting yourself in the right rooms. He quotes Tony Robbins: "The meeting of preparation with opportunity generates the offspring we call luck."
• Joel's Counter-Perspective: Joel views the definitions as completely flip-flopped. To him, luck represents unpredictable, chaotic events you cannot influence (like an unexpected call from a job recruiter or winning the lottery). Conversely, fortune is the structured "scaffolding" you build through conscious, deliberate choices over time (like a solid retirement portfolio).

Real-World Crossroads

• The Pivot Point: Jonathan illustrates this by sharing a story from his senior year of high school. A spontaneous decision to tour the Virginia Military Institute (VMI) post—despite having no military background—led to a chance meeting with a baseball coach who knew his high school coach. That single choice ultimately shaped his entire college career and adult life.
• The Health Connection: The hosts tie this back to their venture, Fire Health. Just like finances, your health relies on compounding decisions. You can't control every genetic variable, but you can control what you put in your body and how much you move. The goal is to reach financial independence and actually be vibrant enough to enjoy it—not spending your retirement tied to a pill planner or dialysis machine.

Memorable Quotes

The Verdict

Who should listen? Anyone on a financial independence journey who needs a reminder to stop neglecting their physical health along the way, or those wrestling with how much control they truly have over their own success.

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The Long Burn – "Burning the Ships"

Guest: Tim Jester, CFP and Founder of ITA Wealth Partners

In this debut guest episode, hosts Joel Malin and Dr. Jonathan Wade (aka "Dirty Dr. Wade") sit down with Nashville-based financial advisor Tim Jester. The conversation moves quickly from playful banter to a deep dive into the "grind culture" of financial services, the psychological toll of entrepreneurship, and the importance of choosing people over products.

Key Takeaways

• The "Burn the Ships" Mentality: Tim shares the story of Cortez burning his fleet to ensure his men had no choice but to succeed. He applies this to business: Plan A can only succeed when you eliminate the safety net of Plan B.
• Culture vs. Commission: Tim left the "insurance-centric" world to escape the pressure of selling products that weren't always in the client’s best interest. He argues that a truly independent practice allows an advisor to prioritize the client's goals over a sales quota.
• Rejecting "Grind Culture": The industry often rewards the "first in, last out" mentality, which Tim identifies as a recipe for broken marriages and estranged children. He built ITA Wealth Partners to prove you can have a high-performing business while still being present for school recitals and date nights.
• The 10-3-1 Equation: Tim critiques the traditional sales funnel (10 referrals lead to 3 meetings, which lead to 1 client). While mathematically sound, he finds it "icky" and disingenuous, opting instead for organic community involvement and a "long game" approach to relationships.
• Individual over Modality: Joel draws a parallel to therapy, noting that the best professionals fit the solution to the human being, rather than trying to force the human into a pre-packaged "product" or treatment model.

Memorable Quotes

The Firing Line: Question #1

The Question: What’s a failure that cost you more than money, and what did it change about how you operate today?

Tim’s Answer: Tim reflects on his 20s, where unresolved childhood pain and anger led him to "run through" personal and professional relationships. He lost clients and burned bridges with people he loved. This failure taught him the value of therapy and self-awareness, ultimately shifting his focus toward empathy and making people feel "heard and valued" rather than just being a number in a spreadsheet.

The Verdict

Who should listen? Entrepreneurs feeling the "head in hands" weight of starting out, or any professional feeling trapped in a toxic "grind" environment who needs a reminder that success doesn't have to come at the cost of your family.

Tim Jester’s journey from a high-pressure insurance firm to a values-based independent practice is a roadmap for anyone looking to "burn their ships" and build something authentic.

To get in touch with Tim Jester for financial advising, please visit https://itawealthpartners.com/ or you can reach Tim via email at [email protected]

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Episode Overview: "You Don't Have a Time Problem, You Have a Priority Problem"

The core message of this episode is that everyone has the same 24 hours in a day; the difference in outcomes lies in how those hours are prioritized. The hosts argue that "finding time" is a myth—you must make or take time for what matters.

Key Takeaways

• The Difference Between "Making" and "Taking" Time:
  • Making Time: Deferring low-risk tasks (like laundry) to a later date to create space now.
  • Taking Time: Consciously choosing not to finish a task today because health or family is more important, even if it feels like "lowering standards."
• The Ceiling of a "Do-It-Yourself" Mentality: Dr. Wade shares a story about scrubbing toilets at his clinic. While it shows humility, the hosts discuss how this isn't a productive use of a CEO’s time. To grow a business, you must delegate tasks that others can do 80% as well as you.
• Busy vs. Productive: Being "busy" (doing tasks) is not the same as being "productive" (moving the needle on goals).
• The "One Thing" Strategy: Referencing Gary Keller’s book, they suggest picking the single most important task each week that creates a "domino effect" for everything else.

Personal Wins & Losses

The hosts start with a "Vulnerability Minute" regarding their personal lives:

Host | Wins | Losses/ChallengesDr. Jonathan Wade | Orchard Health is "knocking it out of the park" with a new nurse practitioner and improved marketing. | Short-term rental bookings are down; dealing with critical four-star reviews.
Joel Malin | His newborn son, Gideon, smiled for the first time, providing much-needed feedback during the "sleep-deprived" phase. | Financial stress of trying to afford a nanny, as he and his wife aren't ready for daycare yet.

Notable Quotes

Actionable Advice from the Hosts

1. Modify, Don't Lower, Standards: Reshape your expectations of a "pristine home" or "perfect schedule" to adapt to new life phases (like having kids).
2. Focus Blocks: Use dedicated chunks of time to work on specific topics rather than trying to multi-task throughout the day.
3. The "Lived-In" Perspective: Accept that a busy home or a slightly disorganized office is a sign of life and growth, not failure.

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In this episode of The Long Burn, counselor Joel Malin and Dr. Jonathan Wade explore the concept of "the family as the first team," emphasizing that personal and professional success depends on domestic alignment. The hosts open with personal "wins and losses," ranging from Joel’s successful fishing trip and frustrations with insurance hiking to Jonathan’s family visit to his son’s college, which included a humorous mishap involving a black eye during a game of wiffle golf. Transitioning to the core topic, Jonathan reflects on the eight-year journey of his medical practice, Orchard Health, detailing how he secured his wife Candace’s "buy-in" by framing the business as a way to prioritize family time over grueling hospital shifts. They discuss the necessity of "counting the cost" and establishing a family operating agreement—setting firm boundaries, such as "no-business" zones after 6:30 PM and monthly retreat nights, to ensure that the drive for professional sustainability doesn't come at the expense of household harmony.

Key Takeaways from "The Family as the First Team"

• The Power of Buy-In: Success in a new endeavor requires more than just permission; it requires a shared vision. Jonathan noted that involving his wife directly in the business allowed their complementary skills—his "big ideas" and her "boots-on-the-ground" integration—to flourish.
• Defining the "Operating Agreement": To prevent burnout and resentment, families should set explicit boundaries. This includes "work-free" hours and identifying which roles each member will play to support the collective goal.
• Managing the "Nasty Nelson" of Risk: Just like the surprise point in pickleball (the "Nasty Nelson"), business risks are inevitable. The hosts suggest viewing these not as deterrents, but as opportunities for growth and learning.
• Intentional Disconnection: Joel and Jonathan highlight that work is never truly "done." Building the skill of living in that tension—choosing to stop working to be present with family—is vital for long-term health.