In this episode, I interview longtime Bowen practitioner (and my personal coach) Doug Murphy. We talk about the current political landscape in light of Bowen Family Systems Theory, and how calming down might help us be more effective in creating change.

Dr. Murray Bowen taught that we each have solid self, that principled center of beliefs and values which is developed from within and isn’t able to be changed by other people. Then there’s pseudo self, usually developed in relationship to other people and often up for exchange in order to belong. How much pseudo self and how much solid self are you operating with? And can you increase your solid self and in the process improve your relationships and maybe even your family or workplace? I think so!

In this episode I interview Rev. Jake Morrill, lead minister at the Oak Ridge Unitarian Universalist Church outside Knoxville and longtime student of Bowen Family Systems Theory, about sibling position theory, one of the eight interlocking concepts of Bowen Theory. Your birth order isn’t fate, but it can help you understand yourself and others a little more clearly. One disclaimer: Jake and I realized after recording that, in an effort to accurately represent Toman’s work, we didn’t discuss the complexity of gender and sibling position theory. We know that gender is complex and believe that more thinking needs to go into the ways this part of Bowen theory applies to our transgender and gender non-binary loved ones. If you have ideas on this topic, be in touch!

Dr. Murray Bowen’s eighth concept was societal regression. He believed that we are living in a time of regression, and I think it’s pretty easy to demonstrate that he was right. But what can we do about it? This episode explores that question.

Relationship triangles are everywhere. Learning what they are and how to see and use them can improve ministries, parenting, and relationships in general. In this episode, I talk about triangles.

In this episode, I talk a a little about the history behind Bowen Family Systems Theory and talk about being a chickpea salad guy in a family of deer sausage eaters. One of the concepts Dr. Bowen developed was relationship reciprocity, basically that people in a relationship system (a congregation, family, workplace, etc.) compensate for one another’s functioning. When one person is taking on too much, others compensate by taking on too little. By taking a look at our own functioning, we can improve not just our own experience and relationships, but the system itself.