The Lose Control Podcast

“The Quiet That Changes You”

There’s a moment in every journey where the noise finally fades… and what’s left is the truth.

This episode is built for that moment.

The Quiet That Changes You is a solution‑based compilation — a curated collection of the language of the heart. It weaves together reflective questions, lived experience, and grounded emotional clarity to guide you back to yourself. Each segment is intentionally chosen to help you slow down, listen inward, and reconnect with the parts of you that have been asking for attention.

Through stillness, self‑honesty, and a mid‑episode intermission designed to reset your spirit, this compilation invites you to release the weight you’ve been carrying — the old stories, the survival patterns, the expectations that no longer fit who you’re becoming.

This isn’t motivation.

This isn’t hype.

This is a return to yourself.

If you’ve been craving peace, direction, or a deeper sense of alignment, this episode will meet you exactly where you are and help you step into the version of you that’s been waiting on the other side of letting go.

Welcome to The Lose Control Experience — where letting go becomes your greatest strength.

Episode Title: Simply Katie — Unfolding, Unapologetic & Unfinished

Series Theme: A Paradox to Positive, Peaceful Living

Guest: Katie (aka Katie B, Katie W, Katie U)

Sobriety Date: September 23, 2005

 Episode Summary

This week, we sit with a woman whose story doesn’t just echo through the rooms—it roars through the silence most people are too afraid to face. Katie has lived many lives under many names, but today, she’s stripped it all down. She’s simply Katie.

Nearly 20 years sober, Katie’s journey is one of chaos, clarity, and courage. From childhood trauma and addiction by age 15 to a suicide attempt at 20, her path to recovery began with a single act of surrender. She found refuge in Oxford House and rebuilt her life—one breath, one breakdown, one truth at a time.

Katie’s recovery is layered and lived. She’s a sponsor, treasurer, and servant leader in the rooms. She’s helped the very friend who gave her her first drink find sobriety years later. Her story is full-circle. Full of grit. Full of grace.

She’s known redemption: a career in finance, homeownership, and financial freedom. And reckoning—spending a night in jail sober after 19 years, facing demons she thought were buried. Her life is proof that recovery isn’t a finish line—it’s a daily choice.

Katie finds peace in meditation, nature, and the power of pen and paper. The Big Book isn’t just something she reads—it’s something she breathes. She’s never cured. Always becoming.

Her family is the tribe she’s found in recovery. Her soul rests best by the ocean or a mountain river. She’s danced, cried, created, and sat in the stillness of early morning coffee with nothing but gratitude and grit.

This episode isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about what happens when you lose control of the life you thought you wanted… and find the one you were born to live.

Today’s guest is someone who hasn’t just lived through life’s seasons—he’s been shaped, shattered, and spiritually reassembled by them.

From Catholic boyhood and altar steps to the chaos of addiction and unspoken wounds…

This isn’t just a story—it’s a resurrection.

Ted Bower’s life is a layered testimony: innocence undone, trauma absorbed, rebellion ignited, and clarity earned. He’s walked through silence, storms, and surrender. And he’s come out the other side not perfect—but honest. Not untouched—but transformed.

What looks like rock bottom? For him, it was the ground floor of transformation.

Through God-moments and brutal honesty, through Steps and service, Ted discovered that true healing doesn’t come in the absence of pain—it’s born right in the middle of it. His path reveals something simple but profound: the disease doesn’t need liquor, and the soul doesn’t need applause. It needs truth. Stillness. And a willingness to be undone.

Now, at 50+, Ted isn’t finished—he’s barely scratching the surface.

So if you’ve ever found yourself caught between projection and purpose, performance and peace… this one’s for you.

This is not just a conversation.

Let’s dive in.

Submergence is not our end—it's how we begin again.

On The Lose Control Podcast, we explore what happens when we stop clutching for control... and start trusting the pull. Because life doesn’t just ask us to let go—it pulls us under. Into grief. Into love. Into silence. Into seasons that don’t make sense on paper but are perfectly designed to shape our becoming.

Submergence is the paradox: we sink in order to rise.

The invitation isn’t to drown. It’s to surrender.

Lose control—not as defeat, but as initiation.

On this show, we don’t glorify drowning. We honor the dive.

If you’re feeling like you’re sinking, good.

Resentment is a slow poison—one that corrodes the spirit, erodes peace, and traps you in a cycle of stagnation. It festers, feeding off unspoken wounds and unfinished battles, making you more bitter, more disconnected, more imprisoned in your own mind. And the truth is, no one else suffers as much as you do when resentment takes hold. It rots from the inside out.

Rosalynn Bourgeois, known as Roz, was born and raised just outside of Washington, DC, in PG County, MD. Growing up as a minority in a tumultuous household, she constantly felt the pressure to fit in and seek attention, especially with her parents embroiled in constant conflict. Roz identifies as a recovering Catholic, having endured religious beliefs that were aggressively forced upon her in a manner she describes as spiritually abusive. The weight of this upbringing required years of therapy to unravel and heal from, a journey she embarked on after achieving sobriety. 

Brian Ready is not just a national recovery advocate, speaker, and motivational coach—he is a beacon of hope and transformation. A devoted father to three beautiful daughters and a loving husband to his wife, Kimberly, Brian embraces the privilege of working alongside her every day, united in their mission to guide others on the path to recovery.

As the visionary founder of Oaks Recovery, one of the nation’s preeminent 12-step recovery programs nestled in upstate South Carolina, Brian has committed his life to forging a sanctuary where individuals can find solace, support, and profound change. Oaks Recovery is more than just a program; it is a lifeline extended to individuals from every corner of the globe, offering them the compassion, tools, and unwavering love necessary to break free from the shackles of addiction.

Brian's own arduous journey through addiction and recovery ignites his fervor for advocacy and outreach. It is this very experience that has crystallized his belief in the transformative power of community, accountability, the 12 steps, and the gift of second chances. Whether addressing audiences on national stages, coaching individuals with personalized care, or immersing himself in hands-on recovery work, Brian's unwavering dedication to igniting hope and a renewed sense of purpose in others is evident.

His mission transcends the ordinary: to change lives, restore families, and unequivocally demonstrate that recovery is within reach for anyone ready to take that first courageous step and commit to the arduous yet rewarding journey toward genuine freedom from alcoholism and drug addiction. Brian Ready is living proof that with passion, perseverance, and a supportive community, the light at the end of the tunnel is not just a glimmer—it is a radiant sunrise heralding a new beginning.

I must be willing to do whatever “anything” looks like to help another alcoholic. This means offering unwavering friendship and fellowship, and assuring him that if he genuinely desires to get well, I will do anything to support him on his journey. The bond we create is founded on trust, empathy, and shared experience.  Pg 95

You can have what we have, no strings attached. However, this comes with the need for brutal honesty with oneself. You must be willing to change every pattern in your life and be consistent. Consistency is not about doing the same thing over and over, but about doing what needs to be done next. Implementing discipline is essential, and through this process, we transform each other by creating an intimate and supportive relationship.

Through these steps, we embark on a journey of profound personal transformation, supporting each other and embracing the possibility of a better future. This process not only fosters individual growth but also strengthens the bonds of fellowship and shared recovery.

Margery Bailey's life is a gripping saga of resilience and profound transformation. Born in Sacramento, CA, she approaches her 50th birthday with a story that speaks to the depths of human struggle and the triumph of spirit. Raised in a turbulent alcoholic Irish Catholic household with two sisters, including an identical twin, Margery's early years were steeped in chaos. Her father, a Vietnam veteran, battled severe depression and PTSD, profoundly shaping her understanding of the world. Yet, his playful moments—enjoying George Carlin, Belushi on SNL, and dancing to Motown records—etched endearing memories that stayed with her. Margery's deeply religious mother remained steadfastly connected to her Catholic church, offering a stark contrast to the disorder at home.

Margery's talent and drive earned her acceptance into an Arts Magnet High School, where she thrived in voice and acting, directed plays, and toured military bases, senior facilities, and Japan with a high school jazz choir. But after high school, the protective bubble burst. Moving out of her restrictive and religious home, Margery faced the harsh realities of juggling university, work, and independence in San Francisco. The pressure led to a breakdown and a return to Sacramento. Determined, she completed her education while working three jobs, saving money for a move to Los Angeles, where she spent three years as a producer before relocating to New York.

In New York City, the chaos intensified. Within just four months, the Twin Towers fell, and Margery's drinking spiraled out of control. Seeking solace, she returned to California, immersed herself in hot yoga, and became a realtor just as the dot-com bubble burst, causing her to lose everything. By 2007, despite becoming a hot yoga teacher and mentoring under a powerful yogi, her alcohol consumption, depression, and sadness grew worse.

Motherhood at nearly 40 triggered early menopause, pushing Margery into researching and writing about healing. Observing that some in yoga found healing while others remained stuck, she began writing "Thinking About Chakra." However, its esoteric nature seemed out of reach for many. She realized that true healing required inner work, focusing on breath work and surrender rather than just physical postures.

2024 marked a pivotal turning point. A month before her 49th birthday, Margery decided to stop drinking. Her health had deteriorated after the Johnson & Johnson vaccine in 2021, and a move to South Carolina exacerbated her symptoms. The accumulated grief finally demanded her attention. As a single mom, she had justified her wine nights but came to see that alcohol was detrimental during menopause.

Margery spent this year crafting a workbook/journal for peri-menopausal and menopausal women, filled with tools she wished she had known a decade ago. Ready to self-publish, she aims to share her insights with women in need. Margery's transformation from a chaotic upbringing to a spiritually enriched life is a testament to her resilience and commitment to personal growth. Now, she stands poised to inspire and support other women facing similar challenges, guiding them out of darkness and into the light of self-discovery and healing.

This week’s special guest is Matthew Parsley. Born in Long Beach, Long Island, and raised in Dillon, South Carolina, by his grandmother and great-grandmother from the age of six, Matthew's early life was deeply influenced by a religious and spiritual household. Church provided solace, but his childhood was also marked by the trauma of being molested by a favorite cousin, a secret that cast a long shadow over his formative years. Unlike other boys, Matthew felt different, gravitating towards girls and finding comfort in their company. His grandmother introduced him to baseball, but another hidden, darker world beckoned, fueled by his father's stash of VHS tapes and DVDs. Pornography, masturbation, and eventually promiscuity became secret addictions that led him to unimaginable places.

College in Daytona Beach, Florida, brought new experiences and vices. Introduced to weed by his best friend, who passed away in 2010, Matthew became a weekend warrior. Transient sexual relations and pornography addiction escalated, leading to missed classes and lost opportunities. Despite graduating, he didn't earn a degree, having lost his band scholarship due to poor attendance.

In 2016, Matthew moved to New York City, where the grip of sex and drugs tightened around his life. Methamphetamine became his new demon, intensifying his sex addiction and leading him down the path of intravenous drug use. Soon, he found himself ostracized after testing HIV positive. His family feared for his safety as he vanished into the city's underbelly. The stroke his father suffered only deepened Matthew's resentment and fueled his desire to escape through drugs, leaving his mother to care for his ailing father alone. This period marked a profound descent into darkness, where the weight of his choices and the pain of his reality collided.

By 2022, Matthew had reached the lowest point in his life. Suicidal and broken, he found himself in the back of a sheriff's car on the way to detox. His first meeting at Primary Purpose in Myrtle Beach was a pivotal moment, marking the start of his transformation. It was there that Matthew came to understand his spiritual sickness.

Today, Matthew is a new man, rebuilt by the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship of the spirit. He passionately says, “Staying stopped… getting high… that’s the small part. It’s what’s inside that needs reparations.” Matthew's presence today is a testament to his choice to be present, living one day at a time.

Matthew's spiritual relationship with God and others is now the cornerstone of his life. Embracing life's terms and focusing on the journey rather than the outcome, he greets each day with profound gratitude and purpose. His entry into Oaks Recovery on his mother's birthday, June 25, symbolizes his rebirth and unwavering commitment to a brighter future. Matthew dedicates himself to helping other addicts, working diligently, and forgiving himself for past mistakes. His journey is a profound testament to the boundless possibility of change and the unbreakable resilience of the human spirit.