The Lost Lore

Time to lock in! Today, Haley and Jake return to their happy place as they recount the wonders of childhood gym class. Haley talks about learning archery, getting checked for lice at PE, and her dream of participating in just one more field day. Jake tells the story of “saving” his diabetic gym teacher and gossiping with the girls in the outfield. We recommend listening to Eye of The Tiger after this.

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For God so loved the world, She gave Her one gay son and short thot daughter TEN episodes of this podcast! Jake and Haley celebrate reaching their double digit milestone by sharing their personal Ten Commandments to live by. Today’s sermon stresses the importance of NEVER buying your friend a gift, NEVER letting anyone stop you from being cringe, and NEVER EVER texting people back.

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Welcome to your half-hour stay at The White Loretus! Your favorite hotel managers Jake & Haley have planned a fun-filled itinerary that includes:

• ​ Bonding over a mutual love of tv and movie spoilers
• ​ Discussing favorite seasons and characters from The White Lotus (Theo James, Theo James, Theo James)
• ​ Sincerely manifesting being cast on Survivor

Complimentary laughs and dreams are shared. Don’t forget to leave us a 5⭐️ review before you check out!

For full video episodes, please subscribe to our Patreon:

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It’s no surprise that our longest episode to date is about the beloved women who first raised, spoiled and ❤️manipulated❤️ us: our precious southern grandmothers. Haley talks about her nanna’s many boyfriends, including a young man named PeeWee, and Jake reminisces on his grandma lovingly gifting him a Barbie Dream Jet. It’s a pleasure to share the stories of the ladies who made us… any problem you have with us is all their fault, btw.

For full length video episodes, please subscribe to our Patreon:

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Curiosity killed the cat and our love for our cats just might kill us! In today’s episode, Haley and Jake share stories (and schemes) of adopting and naming their beloved cats, how having pets has made them more neurotic, and they even bravely tackle the old question of Cats vs. Dogs?

Meow! Like Ciao, but in cat.

For exclusive bonus content and full length video episodes, please subscribe to our Patreon for $3/month:

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Happy April Fools’ Day to every fool whose love life feels like a total joke! In today’s episode, Haley and Jake boost your self esteem with stories of their dating app lows. We laugh over first Tinder dates, hottest hookups, and having a crush on the same guy. Jake even shares the stories of how he unexpectedly came out to his mom and then literally hid back in the closet.

For full length video episodes, please subscribe to our Patreon:

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When Haley and Jake went into business together—yes, having a podcast is a business!—they never checked the others’ credentials. In today’s episode, our two besties recount the highs and lows of their various jobs, like the hell of working in a nursing home, the worse hell of dog walking, and the thrill of stealing public property with coworkers (yes, they’re baristas). They even spill on their college days of being extras on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and SNL.

For full length video episodes, please subscribe to our Patreon:

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Finally! Someone is addressing the kid’s yogurt phenomenon of the 2000s! In today’s episode, Haley and Jake discuss this and the other significant foods and fads of their childhoods. Haley brings Jake up to speed on one of her first best friends, Little Debbie, and Jake, in the year 2025, makes a case for drinking cow’s milk.

For full length video episodes and exclusive content, please subscribe to our Patreon:

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Welcome back and buckle up! Today Haley and Jake are talking about the facts of life, the birds and the bees, the reason for you and me... SEX! Our besties rehash how they learned about the Horizontal Mambo, including first trips to Hooters, unexpectedly being in the room when someone else is doing it, and getting mono at show choir camp. The infamous Blue Waffle even makes a nasty appearance. 

For full video episodes and exclusive content, please subscribe to our Patreon:

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Welcome back! In this episode, Jake brings a clueless Haley up to speed on all things Harry Potter. THEN, Haley fills Jake in on the only Harry Potter lore he doesn't know about... a very sexy fan fiction between Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.

For full video episodes and exclusive content, please subscribe to our Patreon:

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