Welcome The Marriage Refresh — an eight-week journey happening across the podcast, inside my free Facebook group Easy Biblical Marriage, and throughout my emails and social platforms.

This week, we’re diving into one of the most misunderstood (and most powerful) skills in marriage: respect.

But not the cultural version.

Not the performative version.

Not the “be smaller so he can feel bigger” version.

We’re looking at biblical respect through the lens of the Book of Esther — and how true respect actually makes you more of who God created you to be, not less.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

Why respect is not about becoming a doormat

How control can quietly undermine connection (even when your intentions are good)

What I learned after my first marriage ended — and how that changed everything

The difference between serving from overflow vs. serving from fear or obligation

What 1 Peter 3 really says about inner beauty and influence

How Esther embodies boldness, humility, patience, and spiritual strength

Why consistency matters when practicing respect

A simple, practical place to start (hint: try it in the car 😉)

What to do during separation when your husband goes quiet

How to become a “campfire” or “lighthouse” instead of chasing connection

Why victory is always available — even in the hardest marriage circumstances

Respect Is About Trusting God First

One of the biggest shifts in my own marriage came when I stopped trying to control outcomes (like my husband quitting smoking) and started expressing confidence in his thinking instead.

That didn’t mean I agreed with everything.

It didn’t mean I stopped having desires.

It meant I trusted God enough to release control.

Even when my husband didn’t seem like a strong leader.

Even when he was mentally checked out.

Even when it felt like stepping off a cliff.

Respect is ultimately an act of faith.

Esther: Strength, Dignity & Strategic Femininity

Through Esther’s story, we see that biblical respect includes:

Inner beauty over outer performance

Humility without weakness

Patience with purpose

Listening to wise counsel

Courage rooted in identity

Vulnerability and intercession

Trusting God’s timing

Esther was anything but passive. She was bold, strategic, and mission-driven — but grounded in submission to God.

That’s the kind of strength and dignity available to you.

Practical Starting Points

If you’re new to practicing respect, here are simple places to begin:

Say “Whatever you think” and truly mean it.

Practice relinquishing control in small moments (like when he’s driving).

Stay on your own paper when he’s unavailable.

Cultivate happiness and fullness outside of his responses.

Give from overflow — not obligation.

Small shifts create big transformation.

The Triumph Story

Instead of rehearsing a victim story, what if you began writing a triumph story?

The hardest part of your marriage might be the very place where God is building your endurance, courage, and legacy.

Victory is always available.

I’ve seen women:

Restore marriages after affairs

Stop chronic fighting

Reclaim peace in high-stress environments

Attract husbands back after separation

Not by controlling.

Not by forcing.

But through faith, growth, and agape love.

Want to Go Deeper?

The full Marriage Refresh experience is happening inside my free Facebook group:

👉 Follow me at Lucy Martin on Facebook and join the Easy Biblical Marriage group

Or email [email protected]

to connect.

We also have:

Weekly Spiritual Toolbox calls

Group coaching

Six-month immersive coaching programs

1:1 intensives

If you’re ready to create real victory in your relationship (or any relationship in your life), message me to set up a time to talk.

Scripture Highlighted in This Episode

1 Peter 3

Proverbs 31

1 Corinthians 13

The Book of Esther