Welcome The Marriage Refresh — an eight-week journey happening across the podcast, inside my free Facebook group Easy Biblical Marriage, and throughout my emails and social platforms.
This week, we’re diving into one of the most misunderstood (and most powerful) skills in marriage: respect.
But not the cultural version.
Not the performative version.
Not the “be smaller so he can feel bigger” version.
We’re looking at biblical respect through the lens of the Book of Esther — and how true respect actually makes you more of who God created you to be, not less.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
Why respect is not about becoming a doormat
How control can quietly undermine connection (even when your intentions are good)
What I learned after my first marriage ended — and how that changed everything
The difference between serving from overflow vs. serving from fear or obligation
What 1 Peter 3 really says about inner beauty and influence
How Esther embodies boldness, humility, patience, and spiritual strength
Why consistency matters when practicing respect
A simple, practical place to start (hint: try it in the car 😉)
What to do during separation when your husband goes quiet
How to become a “campfire” or “lighthouse” instead of chasing connection
Why victory is always available — even in the hardest marriage circumstances
Respect Is About Trusting God First
One of the biggest shifts in my own marriage came when I stopped trying to control outcomes (like my husband quitting smoking) and started expressing confidence in his thinking instead.
That didn’t mean I agreed with everything.
It didn’t mean I stopped having desires.
It meant I trusted God enough to release control.
Even when my husband didn’t seem like a strong leader.
Even when he was mentally checked out.
Even when it felt like stepping off a cliff.
Respect is ultimately an act of faith.
Esther: Strength, Dignity & Strategic Femininity
Through Esther’s story, we see that biblical respect includes:
Inner beauty over outer performance
Humility without weakness
Patience with purpose
Listening to wise counsel
Courage rooted in identity
Vulnerability and intercession
Trusting God’s timing
Esther was anything but passive. She was bold, strategic, and mission-driven — but grounded in submission to God.
That’s the kind of strength and dignity available to you.
Practical Starting Points
If you’re new to practicing respect, here are simple places to begin:
Say “Whatever you think” and truly mean it.
Practice relinquishing control in small moments (like when he’s driving).
Stay on your own paper when he’s unavailable.
Cultivate happiness and fullness outside of his responses.
Give from overflow — not obligation.
Small shifts create big transformation.
The Triumph Story
Instead of rehearsing a victim story, what if you began writing a triumph story?
The hardest part of your marriage might be the very place where God is building your endurance, courage, and legacy.
Victory is always available.
I’ve seen women:
Restore marriages after affairs
Stop chronic fighting
Reclaim peace in high-stress environments
Attract husbands back after separation
Not by controlling.
Not by forcing.
But through faith, growth, and agape love.
Want to Go Deeper?
The full Marriage Refresh experience is happening inside my free Facebook group:
👉 Follow me at Lucy Martin on Facebook and join the Easy Biblical Marriage group
Or email [email protected]
to connect.
We also have:
Weekly Spiritual Toolbox calls
Group coaching
Six-month immersive coaching programs
1:1 intensives
If you’re ready to create real victory in your relationship (or any relationship in your life), message me to set up a time to talk.
Scripture Highlighted in This Episode
1 Peter 3
Proverbs 31
1 Corinthians 13
The Book of Esther
