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The Martians Are Here » Podcast Feed

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  • The Martian Who Stole Christmas
    With Apologies to Dr Seuss.
    Every Hu-man
    Down in Hu-ville
    Liked Christmas a lot…
    But the Martian,
    Who lived just North of Hu-ville,
    Did NOT!
    The Martian hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
    Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
    It could be that his eyeballs weren’t screwed in quite right.
    It could be, perhaps, that he held his raygun too tight.
    But I think that the most likely reason of all
    May have been that he saw red at sight of santa’s smalls.
    But,
    Whatever the reason, The gun or the smalls,
    He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Hu-mans,
    Staring down from his cave with a sour, Martian frown
    At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
    For he knew every Hu-man down in Hu-ville beneath
    Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.
    “And they’re hanging their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer.
    “Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
    Then he growled, with his martian fingers nervously drumming,
    “I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!”
    For, tomorrow, he knew…
    …All the Hu-man girls and boys
    Would wake up bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!
    And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
    That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
    Then the Hu-mans, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
    And they’d feast! And they’d feast!
    And they’d FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
    They would start on Hu-pudding, and rare Hu-roast-beast
    Which was something the Martian couldn’t stand in the least!
    And THEN
    They’d do something he liked least of all!
    Every Hu-man down in Hu-ville, the tall and the small,
    Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
    They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Hu-mans would start singing!
    They’d sing! And they’d sing!
    AND they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
    And the more the Martian thought of the Hu-Christmas-Sing
    The more the Martian thought, “I must stop this whole thing!
    “Why for four hundred years I’ve put up with it now!
    I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
    …But HOW?”
    Then he got an idea!
    An awful idea!
    THE MARTIAN
    GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
    “I know just what to do!” The Martian Laughed in his throat.
    And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
    And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Martian trick!
    “With this coat and this hat, I’ll look just like Saint Nick!”
    “All I need is a reindeer…”
    The Martian looked around.
    But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
    Did that stop the old Martian…?
    No! The Martian simply said,
    “If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
    So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread
    And he tied a big horn on top of his head.
    THEN
    He loaded a sheep-ray to take care of Saint Nick
    And some old empty sacks
    On a ramshakle sleigh
    And he hitched up old Max.
    Then the Martian said, “Giddyap!”
    And the sleigh started down
    Toward the homes where the Hu-mans
    Lay a-snooze in their town.
    All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
    All the Hu-mans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
    When he came to the first house in the square.
    “This is stop number one,” The old Martian Claus hissed
    And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
    Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
    He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
    Then he pulled out his death ray and blew up the flue
    He plopped to the ground where little Hu- stockings all hung in a row.
    “These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
    Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
    Around the whole room, and he took every present!
    Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
    Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
    And to cover his tracks, then the Martian, very nimb[...]
    17 min
  • Halloween Special
    Thank you to Rick Moyer, Simon Meddings, Jim Moon, Dave Probert, Sarah Gilbertson, Daniel Vieira, Gareth Edwards, Al Kessel, Amy, Ricky, Phoenix, Raven and Kiarra.
    1 hr 3 min
  • Chapter 34 – The Perfect Storm
    This is it, the penultimate episode. Will Jim, Jones and Mickey Succeed? Will Rose and Emily Survive? Will Toto join the Nerezza? Special bonus epilogue at the end.
    Share and Enjoy
    Stefan, Rick, Simon, Ella and Sarah
    Rick, Simon, Ella and Sarah – Take a bow, you have made this journey special.
    1 hr 27 min
  • Chapter 33 – To Err Is Human Part 2/2
    Rose faces a new a deadly enemy in the Nome King, Mickey and Jones face the Nerezza alone while Jim is in a life and death battle with the Fedele. Desperate times lead to desperate decisions and sometimes mistakes are made. Deadly mistakes.
    49 min
  • Chapter 33 To Err Is Human Part 2/1
    Only Rose, Jim, Mickey and Jones remain to face the Nerezza. Taking on billions of the worst creatures in creation is bad enough without interference from the mysterious aliens that created them. The four find themselves separated and each facing an enemy with deadly intent. Even on the best days it’s hard to remember that to err is human, in these times to err is death.
    1 hr 12 min
  • Chapter 32 – To Err is Human Part 1
    Sir Daniel has decided to leave the earth and take what he can, leaving the humans to their fate. The question is, will sarah join him and what will jones do about it.
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    Stefan, Rick, Simon, Ella and Sarah
    41 min
  • Chapter 31 – Emily
    Emily has finally arrived and Sir Daniel and Jones are squaring off. It’s time for action, time for risks and time for confession. Who will win the heart of sarah?
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    Stefan, Rick, Simon, Ella and Sarah
    33 min
  • Chapter 30 – Eden
    Finally they have arrived. Rose and Jim, the last two left arrive in Eden to a hero’s welcome. It won’t stay that way though as someone is waiting for them and when men have guns, trouble is never far away.
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    Stefan, Rick, Simon, Ella and Sarah.
    40 min
  • Chapter 29 – Fathers And Daughters
    Sarah and Jones have been captured by Sir Daniel. The birth of Emily is imminent and Sarah’s father is back stronger than ever. Things are looking bad for Sarah but is there an unexpected white knight…
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    Stefan, Rick, Simon, Ella and Sarah
    35 min
  • Chapter 28 – Whitehorse
    Rose and Nemo make it as far as the town of Whitehorse, Canada where they take shelter. Blending in with the townsfolk won’t be easy and when the nerezza show up Rose and Nemo will be tested to their limits.
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    Stefan, Rick, Simon, Ella and Sarah
    46 min

About The Martians Are Here » Podcast Feed

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A science fiction audio drama that spans 3 countries and 35 episodes. The story opens with the mysterious disappearance of Sydney and follows through a journey that crosses the pacific, through the…