Have you ever been in a relationship and suddenly realized… I don’t even recognize who I am right now?

In this episode of The Middle Seat, I’m telling a story I’ve barely talked about—including pieces of it that some of the people closest to me have never heard.

What started as a promising relationship slowly turned me into someone who was constantly checking her phone, watching social media, needing reassurance, replaying conversations, and physically feeling the anxiety every time something changed.

And the hardest part? I knew that wasn’t me.

We’re talking about the confusing moments I explained away, the things I let slide, the difference between intuition and having actual proof, and what happened when all those little things that never quite made sense finally started connecting.

This isn’t a story about how to catch someone in a lie.

It’s about what can happen when you spend so much time trying to understand someone else that you stop paying attention to what the relationship is doing to you.

Because sometimes the biggest sign that something isn’t right isn’t what they’re doing.

It’s realizing you don’t recognize the person you’re becoming.

When you’re single, sometimes it feels like if you want something to be celebrated… you’re also the one who has to plan the celebration.

In this episode of The Middle Seat, we’re talking about something that goes beyond loneliness: what it feels like to want your life to be considered.

Birthdays. Career changes. Accomplishments. Hard seasons. Holidays. The moments that matter even when there isn’t a partner automatically standing beside you thinking, We should celebrate this.

As I get ready to turn 38, I’m sharing why birthdays have brought up some complicated feelings for me, the difference between people loving you and people actively thinking of you, and why a group of women planning to celebrate me in Tampa this year has meant so much more than they probably realize.

I thought my life would look different at 38. I thought I’d have my person by now.

I don’t.

But I’m also incredibly proud of the woman—and the life—I’ve built along the way.

And this year, I’m giving myself a pretty big birthday present: The Middle Seat.

Because single people’s lives aren’t waiting to begin when they find a relationship.

Our lives are happening right now. And they’re worth celebrating, too. 🤍

Apparently, knowing what you want in a relationship means you’re “too picky.” At least according to some people.

In this episode of The Middle Seat, I’m unpacking the difference between having standards and having an impossible checklist—and why I’ve stopped apologizing for wanting emotional availability, communication, consistency, attraction, ambition, affection, and a partner who actually wants to build a life alongside me.

For a long time, I was really good at being understanding. I adjusted. I stayed flexible. I gave grace. I made myself smaller. And sometimes I bent so far trying to make a relationship work that I completely forgot to ask whether it was actually working for me.

I spent a lot of my life wanting to be chosen.

Now I’m finally asking a different question: Am I choosing you?

Maybe the bar didn’t get too high. Maybe I just stopped lowering it every time I really wanted something to work.

I thought healing worked like this: you go through heartbreak, spend time alone, learn your patterns, raise your standards… and then when you finally decide to date again, you magically make better choices.

Turns out, healing does not give you psychic abilities.

In this episode of The Middle Seat, I’m talking about the year I spent genuinely learning how to love my life on my own—from concerts and friendships to traveling to Europe, seeing Taylor Swift, getting another dog (because obviously), and becoming a version of myself I hadn’t really known before.

Eventually, the thought of dating again stopped making me want to literally throw up. So naturally, I downloaded Hinge.

We’re talking terrible prompts, familiar faces, higher standards, what “being ready” actually looked like for me—and the Hinge match that made me think maybe there was something worth exploring.

Because healing doesn’t mean you’ll never choose the wrong person again. It just changes the way you move through what happens next.

You can genuinely love the life you’ve built and still feel really lonely sometimes. Both things can be true.

In this episode of The Middle Seat, we’re talking about the side of single life that doesn’t always make it onto social media, the quiet nights, always being the independent one, navigating friendships when everyone else’s lives look different, and what it feels like when your time is treated as a little more flexible simply because you don’t have a partner or kids.

And no, this isn’t a “poor single girl” episode. I love my life. I’m proud of the life I’ve built. I would choose a quiet house over feeling lonely next to the wrong person every single time.

But wanting partnership doesn’t make you ungrateful for the life you already have.

So whether you’re the single friend—or you love someone who is—this one’s for you. 🤍

After divorce comes healing… and apparently, at some point, dating again. Who knew?

In this episode of The Middle Seat, I’m taking you back to my first attempt at modern dating after divorce: downloading the apps, surviving a first date that ended with a very unexpected reaction, and eventually meeting someone who made me think, Wait… maybe these apps actually work.

What started as a Hinge match quickly turned into a relationship I genuinely thought could be it, until almost a year later, I found myself sitting at my kitchen table having a conversation I never saw coming.

We’re talking about falling hard, emotional unavailability, heartbreak, and the moment I realized I was absolutely not ready to jump back into dating just because the relationship was over.

Because sometimes the end of a relationship isn’t the beginning of your next love story.

Sometimes it’s the beginning of finding your way back to yourself.

I didn’t exactly plan on dating again in my 30s… but here we are.

In the very first episode of The Middle Seat, I’m sharing how I ended up back in the world of modern dating after divorce and why all the awkward dates, dating apps, ghosting, mixed signals, and “what the actual heck is happening out here?” moments eventually led me here.

This isn’t a dating advice podcast. I definitely do not have all the answers. This is a place for the stories we’re actually living: the funny ones, the confusing ones, the heartbreaking ones, and all those weird little moments that happen somewhere between single and settled.

I’ll share mine, you’ll share yours, and we’ll figure out the in-between together.

Welcome to The Middle Seat. Let’s take our seats. ✈️

Welcome to The Middle Seat, a podcast about modern dating, relationships, life after divorce, and everything that happens while we’re figuring it all out. Join Alexis for honest personal stories, real conversations, mixed signals worth unpacking, and listener-submitted dating diaries.

The first episodes arrive September 17. Follow The Middle Seat now and take your seat for the launch because the best stories happen in the in-between.