Episode 25- Influence Starts in Your Own Mind

Many people look for influence outside of themselves first when all along that influence starts with one's self. You have to believe in the possibilities and the ability to make things happen before you can share ideas and opportunities with others so they see the vision that you do. Far too many people, feel that they have no control over their situation to they fail to take action. Pastor Joel Osteen has a book called, The Power of I Am. These two little words can transform your day, your thoughts, and the actions that you take. Osteen states, “Whatever follows the words “I am” will always come looking for you.

So, when you go through your day saying:

I am blessed blessings pursue you

I am talented talent follows you

I am healthy health heads your way

I am strong strength tracks you down.”

“I am…” is often referred to as an affirmation or what some call autosuggestion. Emile Coue, a French psychologist introduced this concept the beginning of the 20th century. In my co-authored book entitled GPS Your Best Life: Charting Your Destination and Getting There in Style, Charmaine Hammond and I talked about the importance of using positive words and statements and “I am” in conjunction with the use of vision boards. A vision board is a visual display of your goals and things you would like to achieve. It is not meant to be a pretty picture it is meant to be a tool to keep you focused and take intentional actions toward achieving what you say you want. Affirmations do work if they're applied with action. Here's the catch, you need to believe it because if you don't find it believable you are not going to put in the efforts.

At one of our vision board workshops, I was walking by a participant cutting out a wedding dress and she was hesitant about putting that picture on the vision board. She looked at this picture stated out loud “I don't know why I'm even putting this on the board.” I happen to be near her table as she said this and I asked her “Do you not believe you deserve it?” She paused and she looked at me, “You're right.” She sat there in deep thought for the next 5 minutes and then she proceeded to paste it on her board. I don't know she's married or not, I hope someday I will hear that what she wanted became a reality.

Affirmations need to be positive statements and believable. If you find it difficult to make a statement with I am you may add in the words in progress. For some people this helps to become more believable, we are always in progress evolving into who we are. There needs to be an emotional connection where when you make a statement that it either pulls your heartstrings or it gets you excited and personally drives you to achieve it. This is your why it helps you stay focused on the right things.

Write out your affirmations. Spend time visualizing them and feeling as if you've already achieved it. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is not. Integrate this visualize nation so that you can have the feeling of that achievement and start taking steps that outline with what you want to achieve. You may meditate on it. You may choose to record it and play it when you go for a morning run or before you go to sleep. Some people put sticky notes on the bathroom mirror so they repeated whether brushing their teeth. Other people may spend their time journaling focused on their affirmation to set the tone for their day or reflect on their day.

You may have heard the adage, “Fake until you make it”. As you align your actions with your thoughts, what you want can become reality. But some people will tell you that affirmations do...

Episode 25- Influence Starts in Your Own Mind

Many people look for influence outside of themselves first when all along that influence starts with one's self. You have to believe in the possibilities and the ability to make things happen before you can share ideas and opportunities with others so they see the vision that you do. Far too many people, feel that they have no control over their situation to they fail to take action. Pastor Joel Osteen has a book called, The Power of I Am. These two little words can transform your day, your thoughts, and the actions that you take. Osteen states, “Whatever follows the words “I am” will always come looking for you.

So, when you go through your day saying:

I am blessed blessings pursue you

I am talented talent follows you

I am healthy health heads your way

I am strong strength tracks you down.”

“I am…” is often referred to as an affirmation or what some call autosuggestion. Emile Coue, a French psychologist introduced this concept the beginning of the 20th century. In my co-authored book entitled GPS Your Best Life: Charting Your Destination and Getting There in Style, Charmaine Hammond and I talked about the importance of using positive words and statements and “I am” in conjunction with the use of vision boards. A vision board is a visual display of your goals and things you would like to achieve. It is not meant to be a pretty picture it is meant to be a tool to keep you focused and take intentional actions toward achieving what you say you want. Affirmations do work if they're applied with action. Here's the catch, you need to believe it because if you don't find it believable you are not going to put in the efforts.

At one of our vision board workshops, I was walking by a participant cutting out a wedding dress and she was hesitant about putting that picture on the vision board. She looked at this picture stated out loud “I don't know why I'm even putting this on the board.” I happen to be near her table as she said this and I asked her “Do you not believe you deserve it?” She paused and she looked at me, “You're right.” She sat there in deep thought for the next 5 minutes and then she proceeded to paste it on her board. I don't know she's married or not, I hope someday I will hear that what she wanted became a reality.

Affirmations need to be positive statements and believable. If you find it difficult to make a statement with I am you may add in the words in progress. For some people this helps to become more believable, we are always in progress evolving into who we are. There needs to be an emotional connection where when you make a statement that it either pulls your heartstrings or it gets you excited and personally drives you to achieve it. This is your why it helps you stay focused on the right things.

Write out your affirmations. Spend time visualizing them and feeling as if you've already achieved it. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is not. Integrate this visualize nation so that you can have the feeling of that achievement and start taking steps that outline with what you want to achieve. You may meditate on it. You may choose to record it and play it when you go for a morning run or before you go to sleep. Some people put sticky notes on the bathroom mirror so they repeated whether brushing their teeth. Other people may spend their time journaling focused on their affirmation to set the tone for their day or reflect on their day.

You may have heard the adage, “Fake until you make it”. As you align your actions with your thoughts, what you want can become reality. But some people will tell you that affirmations do...

Episode 24 – Know Your Worth

“I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom - how great is that?” Soledad O'Brien

48130021 - annoyed upset angry woman plugging her ears with fingers doesn't want to listen

There are way too many people walking around in the world who do not know their worth. They have been hanging on to the message that says “I am not enough.” They may have heard it from their parents, peers, bosses, teachers, or colleagues that they weren't measuring up but they didn't have what it took to reach the next level. They may have even been told that their dreams were too big and that they shouldn't stretch that far. When you listen to those messages or replay them in their mind over and over, you start to believe it the message. You become the story that you tell yourself. You integrate it into who you are. You become afraid to stretch out of your comfort zone and really step into the person that you're meant to be.

I believe that one time or another we have all had instances where we felt that someone has put us in our place. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much experience you have in a certain area, knowledge or expertise, there may be someone who doesn't see what you bring to the table. I've had an experience like this personally. When I learned that the person did not see my value, I looked inside myself to see how I may be reflecting that and in a conversation with this person I shared my value because I believe in my capabilities and I also know that I can step into any situation learn and grow as long as I've learned to work with my people. Processes can be learned and taught in relationships with people have to be built and nurtured over time. We teach people how to treat us and this is why it was so important for me to express myself when I saw someone didn't see the worth I saw it myself. Don't let others define your worth. Ask for feedback on how you need to show up and put the effort in. At the end of the day, I am glad that circumstance didn't turn out the way I originally hoped because other opportunities were standing bright in my future. Sometimes you have to say no to good in order to experience great.

Recognize Your Strengths

You need to take the time to recognize what your strengths are to help understand your worth. It is about knowing your value and what you bring forth to the world and your leadership style. Do not dwell on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths.  It doesn't matter whether you're leading your household, community group, an organization, or running a business. If you don't understand what you bring that increases the value you will not make an impact. What do you do that adds to your competitive advantage? What you offer that others do not? What makes you stand out from the crowd?

If you're struggling to come up with your strengths, you may want to ask others around you to discover which are known for- your signature. What is it when a project or situation comes up the first person they think of is you?

Create Goals That Challenge You

When you create goals that challenge and stretch you, you realize that you are more than good enough. You are capable of so much more than you often give yourself credit for. When you are fearful or intimidated from trying new things or taking on challenges you are less likely to take any action. Yes, there will be a learning curve. Yes, it will be a challenge. These challenges are meant to help you learn and grow and become stronger and more resilient. The best way to face the challenge is to increase your efforts.

Episode 24 – Know Your Worth

“I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom - how great is that?” Soledad O'Brien

There are way too many people walking around in the world who do not know their worth. They have been hanging on to the message that says “I am not enough.” They may have heard it from their parents, peers, bosses, teachers, or colleagues that they weren't measuring up but they didn't have what it took to reach the next level. They may have even been told that their dreams were too big and that they shouldn't stretch that far. When you listen to those messages or replay them in their mind over and over, you start to believe it the message. You become the story that you tell yourself. You integrate it into who you are. You become afraid to stretch out of your comfort zone and really step into the person that you're meant to be.

I believe that one time or another we have all had instances where we felt that someone has put us in our place. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much experience you have in a certain area, knowledge or expertise, there may be someone who doesn't see what you bring to the table. I've had an experience like this personally. When I learned that the person did not see my value, I looked inside myself to see how I may be reflecting that and in a conversation with this person I shared my value because I believe in my capabilities and I also know that I can step into any situation learn and grow as long as I've learned to work with my people. Processes can be learned and taught in relationships with people have to be built and nurtured over time. We teach people how to treat us and this is why it was so important for me to express myself when I saw someone didn't see the worth I saw it myself. Don't let others define your worth. Ask for feedback on how you need to show up and put the effort in. At the end of the day, I am glad that circumstance didn't turn out the way I originally hoped because other opportunities were standing bright in my future. Sometimes you have to say no to good in order to experience great.

Recognize Your Strengths

You need to take the time to recognize what your strengths are to help understand your worth. It is about knowing your value and what you bring forth to the world and your leadership style. Do not dwell on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths.  It doesn't matter whether you're leading your household, community group, an organization, or running a business. If you don't understand what you bring that increases the value you will not make an impact. What do you do that adds to your competitive advantage? What you offer that others do not? What makes you stand out from the crowd?

If you're struggling to come up with your strengths, you may want to ask others around you to discover which are known for- your signature. What is it when a project or situation comes up the first person they think of is you?

Create Goals That Challenge You

When you create goals that challenge and stretch you, you realize that you are more than good enough. You are capable of so much more than you often give yourself credit for. When you are fearful or intimidated from trying new things or taking on challenges you are less likely to take any action. Yes, there will be a learning curve. Yes, it will be a challenge. These challenges are meant to help you learn and grow and become stronger and more resilient. The best way to face the challenge is to increase your efforts. The more inspired your action the greater results you will achieve. Those who are most resilient are people who see ...

Episode 23 – Learn to Intentionally Listen and Learn

“The world is giving you answer each day. Learn to listen.” – Unknown

There is a significant difference between hearing and listening. I discovered the best definition of the differences on a website called The Difference Between, “Hearing is the act of perceiving and receiving sound waves or vibrations through the ear. Listening is the act of hearing a sound and understanding what you hear.”

Do you know someone who hears that you're speaking but never seems to be listening?

I think we all know someone like that. It can become frustrating and lead to arguments and disagreements especially emphasizing that they weren't listening.

WE REMEMBER

10% of what we read

20% of what we hear

30% of what we see

50% of what we see and hear

70% of what we discuss with others

80% of what we personally experience

95% of what we teach others

- Edgar Dale

Studies have shown that we remember approximately 25 to 50% of what we hear. I find this statistic shocking. It is the time we do something different. It is the time that we become intentional with our listening so we can learn. How much more would you accomplish if you took the time to truly listen?

“We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.”

― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

One of the principles of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People written by Stephen Covey states, “Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood”. Intentional listening begins when we focus and listen to what the other person is saying. It is the ability to put aside any distracting thoughts and truly be present. If we listen to our own thoughts we’re going to want to interrupt the other person and share our ideas or solutions of what we have done because we have this fear of losing our thoughts. This is where the arguments and disagreements come in because are thinking too far ahead and were not really listening to what is being said.

Arguments and disagreements are a reactive approach to conversation versus a responsive approach. When emotions are high, our brains move into a “fight or flight” response. Your amygdala, a small area of your brain, reacts to protect you and shuts down other areas of the brain that would otherwise analyze the threats. Psychologist Daniel Goleman refers to this as the boiling over point or that amygdala hijack where the intelligent part of your brain is no longer in control and you no longer reason with what's being said. You cannot often reason with someone who is gone past their boiling point. You can learn to choose the words that you use to meet a person where they are at and truly listen to understand where they're coming from, what their expectations are, what their hopes and fears are to really gain a clear picture of a situation.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

How Do I Begin?

There is so much more to listening than keeping your mouth closed and being silent. When you're listening you are coming from a place of being nonjudgmental and simply curious about what the other person is saying. You let them know that you're engaged through your body language by nodding your head and maintaining eye contact with them while they speak to demonstrate an interest in what they're saying. You wait for the person who's speaking for a pause to ask questions regarding what they said or to clarify what you been reading between the lines. You may paraphrase what they've said to ensure that your understanding what they're saying.

Another way to truly understand what a person is saying is by putting y...

Episode 23 – Learn to Intentionally Listen and Learn

“The world is giving you answer each day. Learn to listen.” – Unknown

There is a significant difference between hearing and listening. I discovered the best definition of the differences on a website called The Difference Between, “Hearing is the act of perceiving and receiving sound waves or vibrations through the ear. Listening is the act of hearing a sound and understanding what you hear.”

Do you know someone who hears that you're speaking but never seems to be listening?

I think we all know someone like that. It can become frustrating and lead to arguments and disagreements especially emphasizing that they weren't listening.

WE REMEMBER

10% of what we read

20% of what we hear

30% of what we see

50% of what we see and hear

70% of what we discuss with others

80% of what we personally experience

95% of what we teach others

- Edgar Dale

Studies have shown that we remember approximately 25 to 50% of what we hear. I find this statistic shocking. It is the time we do something different. It is the time that we become intentional with our listening so we can learn. How much more would you accomplish if you took the time to truly listen?

“We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.”

― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

One of the principles of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People written by Stephen Covey states, “Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood”. Intentional listening begins when we focus and listen to what the other person is saying. It is the ability to put aside any distracting thoughts and truly be present. If we listen to our own thoughts we’re going to want to interrupt the other person and share our ideas or solutions of what we have done because we have this fear of losing our thoughts. This is where the arguments and disagreements come in because are thinking too far ahead and were not really listening to what is being said.

Arguments and disagreements are a reactive approach to conversation versus a responsive approach. When emotions are high, our brains move into a “fight or flight” response. Your amygdala, a small area of your brain, reacts to protect you and shuts down other areas of the brain that would otherwise analyze the threats. Psychologist Daniel Goleman refers to this as the boiling over point or that amygdala hijack where the intelligent part of your brain is no longer in control and you no longer reason with what's being said. You cannot often reason with someone who is gone past their boiling point. You can learn to choose the words that you use to meet a person where they are at and truly listen to understand where they're coming from, what their expectations are, what their hopes and fears are to really gain a clear picture of a situation.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

How Do I Begin?

There is so much more to listening than keeping your mouth closed and being silent. When you're listening you are coming from a place of being nonjudgmental and simply curious about what the other person is saying. You let them know that you're engaged through your body language by nodding your head and maintaining eye contact with them while they speak to demonstrate an interest in what they're saying. You wait for the person who's speaking for a pause to ask questions regarding what they said or to clarify what you been reading between the lines. You may paraphrase what they've said to ensure that your understanding what they're saying.

Another way to truly understand what a person is saying is by putting y...

Episode 22: Focus on What You Want

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”

― Roy Bennett

There are so many things going on in our daily lives that we're distracted from being focused and being in the present moment. Look around you there are some people who are super focused; they know exactly what they want and are driven to succeed. Then there are others who don't know what they want to appear to be stumbling through life. Which person are you?

Do not be dismayed if you find yourself being the person with lack of focus. By listening to this podcast you'll find ways to zoom in on your focus.

Knowing what you want gives you clarity. Everything around you becomes clearer. You know what goals you want and decision-making becomes easy. When you're unclear, it kind of feels like walking around in the dark where you don't know exactly where you're going and can stub your toe. You can get clear by just sitting down and writing out what it is you want. Don't judge or critique your and writing. Don't worry about spelling or grammar. Keep writing!

Catch your thoughts and shift. In Episode 13 The Power Of Positive Thinking we talked about how we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts in a day and that 80% of those thoughts were negative. When you realize you are having negative thoughts and you are self-aware of them, you have the ability to change thought. You can shift gears or flip the light switch in your thought process. As you notice the negative thoughts, you can either accept it or you can reject it. Reframe the thoughts into something more positive. It really comes down to focusing on what you want and not what you don't want

What do you think happens when you focus on what you don't want? Worries, fears, anxiety, self-doubt, and your internal critic pops its head and that's all we see. As you focus on what you don't want, your action star reflecting your thoughts and you self-sabotage yourself from getting what you really want. There is so much power in the way you think. I cannot stress enough how much you need to be paying attention to how your thinking. It impacts everything you do. You end up joining the ancient awful club and feel awful. Your mind thinks that's what you want. Worrying just attracts problems and notice you don't worry about what outcomes you want. You only end up worrying about what you lack which ends up bringing you more lack.

When you experience resistance, there is often a misalignment with your values and who you want to be. This internal conflict is alerting you to the fact that you're focusing on the wrong things. You need to start focusing on what you can control versus what you cannot.

Energy flows where your attention goes. What are you paying attention to? The reticular activating system (RAS) is our brain's attention center. It is the place where our thoughts and feelings interact with their outside world and how we interpret it. If you focus on your past and see your past with regret, your actions will not move you forward toward renewed future.

Esther Hicks said, “A belief is a thought you keep thinking and things actualize around it to confirm that thought." When you put a spotlight on something, you will find evidence and rationale to make that thought your truth. It becomes your reality. However, if you change your focus by looking at other perspectives and choose a reality that you truly want, you will find evidence and rationale that supports that truth. Whatever you believe becomes your reality. You need to lock into the thoughts that you want and get really focused on where you want to go with your thoughts and the actions you will be taking.

Episode 22: Focus on What You Want

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”

― Roy Bennett

There are so many things going on in our daily lives that we're distracted from being focused and being in the present moment. Look around you there are some people who are super focused; they know exactly what they want and are driven to succeed. Then there are others who don't know what they want to appear to be stumbling through life. Which person are you?

Do not be dismayed if you find yourself being the person with lack of focus. By listening to this podcast you'll find ways to zoom in on your focus.

Knowing what you want gives you clarity. Everything around you becomes clearer. You know what goals you want and decision-making becomes easy. When you're unclear, it kind of feels like walking around in the dark where you don't know exactly where you're going and can stub your toe. You can get clear by just sitting down and writing out what it is you want. Don't judge or critique your and writing. Don't worry about spelling or grammar. Keep writing!

Catch your thoughts and shift. In Episode 13 The Power Of Positive Thinking we talked about how we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts in a day and that 80% of those thoughts were negative. When you realize you are having negative thoughts and you are self-aware of them, you have the ability to change thought. You can shift gears or flip the light switch in your thought process. As you notice the negative thoughts, you can either accept it or you can reject it. Reframe the thoughts into something more positive. It really comes down to focusing on what you want and not what you don't want

What do you think happens when you focus on what you don't want? Worries, fears, anxiety, self-doubt, and your internal critic pops its head and that's all we see. As you focus on what you don't want, your action star reflecting your thoughts and you self-sabotage yourself from getting what you really want. There is so much power in the way you think. I cannot stress enough how much you need to be paying attention to how your thinking. It impacts everything you do. You end up joining the ancient awful club and feel awful. Your mind thinks that's what you want. Worrying just attracts problems and notice you don't worry about what outcomes you want. You only end up worrying about what you lack which ends up bringing you more lack.

When you experience resistance, there is often a misalignment with your values and who you want to be. This internal conflict is alerting you to the fact that you're focusing on the wrong things. You need to start focusing on what you can control versus what you cannot.

Energy flows where your attention goes. What are you paying attention to? The reticular activating system (RAS) is our brain's attention center. It is the place where our thoughts and feelings interact with their outside world and how we interpret it. If you focus on your past and see your past with regret, your actions will not move you forward toward renewed future.

Esther Hicks said, “A belief is a thought you keep thinking and things actualize around it to confirm that thought." When you put a spotlight on something, you will find evidence and rationale to make that thought your truth. It becomes your reality. However, if you change your focus by looking at other perspectives and choose a reality that you truly want, you will find evidence and rationale that supports that truth. Whatever you believe becomes your reality. You need to lock into the thoughts that you want and get really focused on where you want to go with your thoughts and the actions you will be taking.

EPISODE 21 – Addressing Fears and Feelings

We all have fears and feelings. The emotions that we feel impact our thoughts, feelings, and actions. They act like a beacon or a lighthouse, letting us know how the world is going on around us. Our emotions are our sensor. But it's important to develop self-awareness so that you can learn and know yourself and be able to recognize and identify the thoughts associated with the emotions that you're having. Your beliefs and your belief system (which includes many patterns and behaviors that you learned in childhood and life's experiences) are how you perceive and interpret the world around you.

Some people believe that if they have a new car, new house, new clothing, or a new relationship that they will be happier than they are currently. Happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a choice.

The beliefs you have our choice… You can either choose to believe them or release them - free yourself of the burden and pressure of holding out for happiness until something better comes along.

Why not choose to be happier right now?

Simply by doing more of what makes you happy.

Do you know what makes you happy?

You may be wondering what this has to do with addressing fears and feelings. This is where I jump in because you can't be happy and fearful at the same time so it's important to address the fears you have in the feelings that you're feeling.

People often have fears of success, failure, rejection, or illness. There is nothing more than false evidence appearing real.

* Identify what you're afraid of.

What emotions are you feeling?

What triggered them for you?

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

* Focus on what you have control over. You have control over yourself and perhaps the environment that you're in.

* Question your beliefs. Ask yourself questions about your assumptions and the beliefs that you have.

If you are afraid of achieving success, you may be self-sabotaging yourself.

What are you afraid of?

What beliefs do you hold around success?

Do you believe success should happen in a certain way?

Who says? 

There are many routes to success. As long as no one is harmed or going to jail, you can take as many routes as you want.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

Why are you holding yourself back?

Are you afraid to fail or make a mistake?

Guess what?  You are farther ahead than those who do not even try.

* Mitigate your risks. Do your homework. Learn as much as you can about achieving your goal.

Have others done what you want to do?

Talk to them.

EPISODE 21 – Addressing Fears and Feelings

We all have fears and feelings. The emotions that we feel impact our thoughts, feelings, and actions. They act like a beacon or a lighthouse, letting us know how the world is going on around us. Our emotions are our sensor. But it's important to develop self-awareness so that you can learn and know yourself and be able to recognize and identify the thoughts associated with the emotions that you're having. Your beliefs and your belief system (which includes many patterns and behaviors that you learned in childhood and life's experiences) are how you perceive and interpret the world around you.

Some people believe that if they have a new car, new house, new clothing, or a new relationship that they will be happier than they are currently. Happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a choice.

The beliefs you have our choice… You can either choose to believe them or release them - free yourself of the burden and pressure of holding out for happiness until something better comes along.

Why not choose to be happier right now?

Simply by doing more of what makes you happy.

Do you know what makes you happy?

You may be wondering what this has to do with addressing fears and feelings. This is where I jump in because you can't be happy and fearful at the same time so it's important to address the fears you have in the feelings that you're feeling.

People often have fears of success, failure, rejection, or illness. There is nothing more than false evidence appearing real.

* Identify what you're afraid of.

What emotions are you feeling?

What triggered them for you?

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

* Focus on what you have control over. You have control over yourself and perhaps the environment that you're in.

* Question your beliefs. Ask yourself questions about your assumptions and the beliefs that you have.

If you are afraid of achieving success, you may be self-sabotaging yourself.

What are you afraid of?

What beliefs do you hold around success?

Do you believe success should happen in a certain way?

Who says? 

There are many routes to success. As long as no one is harmed or going to jail, you can take as many routes as you want.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

Why are you holding yourself back?

Are you afraid to fail or make a mistake?

Guess what?  You are farther ahead than those who do not even try.

* Mitigate your risks. Do your homework. Learn as much as you can about achieving your goal.

Have others done what you want to do?

Talk to them.