The Mind Stops Here

Living in the state of lostness, I don't know anything, personal will, openness to not knowing, recognition of unknowing, having no center, having no ego, control falling away, no powerful female role models, authentic power, being an only child, resenting your parent, taking care of your parent, making unpopular decisions, anger at your mother, letting the emotions out, controller is the suppressor of emotions, venting the anger.

You are not who you think you are, played by beliefs, filters of beliefs, letting go of a relationship, getting to the balance of it, ohm, what's known in theory, what's really known, too much negation, allowing the opposite, wanting control back, I want what's mine, cause and effect, control isn't valid all the time, there is no free will.

Bored with instructions, keeping some identity, sadness of separation, pain of moving forward, no big awakening event, seeing difference, aversion to surprises, getting needs met through work, devotion, being stuck is part of the movement, energy of fear and shame, holding a family's pain, locked energy the glue that holds you together, break-up.

Doubting mind, acceptance of being crazy, sex fantasies, the identity of being married, dream about Jac, integration, the void, sense of control, tired of being responsible, spirit guides and angels, fear of losing identity, Resistance, self-inquiry, death wish.

Managing in the world after awakening, non-duality in the west, integration phase after awakening, idea of hope is awful, mind using idea of destiny to keep hope alive, dissolving the vows, having no criteria for waking up, sense of an individual does not create an individual, high jump to outside all of it is hard when desire is running, neediness, no free will, control keeps regrets alive, familiarity with the formless and beyond all of it, integration needs to happen.

Guided meditation, Total acceptance, letting some relationships go, let the character have the experience, when the volatility of life becomes tiresome, separation and approval from others, boredom, honoring the character, what makes you find your power as a man, sex, menopause, relationships.

Managing in the world after awakening, non-duality in the west, integration phase after awakening, idea of hope is awful, mind using idea of destiny to keep hope alive, dissolving the vows, having no criteria for waking up, sense of an individual does not create an individual, high jump to outside all of it is hard when desire is running, neediness, no free will, control keeps regrets alive, familiarity with the formless and beyond all of it, integration needs to happen.

Guided meditation, without labeling/identification, identification pulls one into duality and thinking mind, noticing the preferences as they arise, alert state is not a tense state, natural state and beyond, seeing energy/attention as a frequency, frequency that has no story, consciousness manifesting without a stimulus, mind using spiritual material for its own purpose, letting there be less, letting pure perception happen, mind reinforcing separation, energy after death of body.

Silence underneath the chattering mind, letting yourself be nurtured at the physical level, being honest with yourself, let listening happen, Pure perception, emotions, wisdom to recognize if a relationship is destructive, spiritual bypassing, can a dense state exist without identification? being manager of mind.

Prayer without desire, Acceptance/control, Unstick desire, Cut at the root desire, hopelessness, Eyes of love, Doer / non-doer, Yearning for truth, Future, You’re already that.