“I really have come to believe that faith and fear are opposites.”
In this episode, Nick speaks with Tim Kassouf, who knows firsthand what addiction can cause, and he also knows firsthand what faith, support, and a healthy lifestyle can change a life.
Tim is a Certified Personal Trainer in South Florida. Working with private clients and teaching group fitness classes at Pit Fitness, I excel & delight in helping people live their fitness goals. I have a passion for people and personal experience that empowers me to serve others as a fitness professional. I started my own fitness journey overweight, depressed, battling active addiction, and hopeless. So I know it’s hard. But I also know that if I can do it, so can you! I’m happily married to an incredible woman who fills my heart with joy and my life with purpose. I’m a lucky man & very blessed!
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00:07
Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan, and on this show, my guest and I unpack the stories that shape us and the lives we lead on our path to self mastery. Today on the show, we have Tim Kassouf. Tim is a certified personal trainer in South Florida who has struggled with his health, addiction, relapses, and has lessons to share on how he’s completely changed his life and how he’s no longer the results business, but the action business.
00:33
We discuss his story that led to addiction, divorce, and even how to come back from relapse. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.
00:50
Hey Tim, I’m so glad that you’re on the show. Thank you for being with us today. How you doing, man? My pleasure, man. I’m great. I’m great. My dad always says if I was any better, there’d be two of me. That’s how good I’m doing. So could your wife or the rest of the world handle two Tim Kasoos? No. No, that would be, nobody should have to have that trauma inflicted upon them. That’s funny. It’s actually the second time this has come up in the past couple of episodes.
01:15
conversation, I think it was actually the first episode we talked about cloning at one point. That’s funny. I was like, I don’t know if I would want to get cloned. Yeah, I think I would want at least one more of me. Like imagine the amount of work you’d be able to get done and the dumb bullshit arguments you’d get in with yourself. seen, I’ve seen multiplicity. I don’t need to watch that movie again. What a good Keaton flick. Well done. Good job with that. So
01:40
Cool, Tim, well, I appreciate you jumping on with us. I’m gonna be mindful of our time as we go through stuff today. uh To give a little bit of background here, so Tim is a certified personal trainer. He and I have known each other for about 20 years at this point. However, there’s a big gap of about 15 or so where we didn’t really talk to each other. know, life happens and all of that. It took us in very different directions, I would say. Oh my gosh, heck yeah. So one of the bigger reasons why I wanted to bring Tim on.
02:08
is Tim has always been one of the strongest, mentally strongest men I’ve ever met in my entire life. He’s also succumbed to uh other things that people have come to, addiction and some problems and things of that sort. This man is an actual specimen of somebody who’s walked the talk and done all of it. He’s somebody who’s gone through the craziness and kind of come through that. So Tim, to start us off, I’d rather you give us sort of some context of yourself, but…
02:36
Can you tell us one thing you do for a living and one thing that most people don’t know about you? Sure, man. I am a personal trainer for a living. So I like to joke that I count to 10 for a living. I tell people to stand up, sit up and, wow, sit down and stand up for a living. Obviously there’s much more to it than that, but really for me, it’s about helping other people find the same level of
03:07
I don’t even like the word success, but find the same lifestyle um that I’ve found that has been so beneficial to me. I’m sure we’ll talk about that more. um And that’s really the, it really is, it comes down to a passion for people. Something that people don’t know about me. um This isn’t my natural hair color. So give me a real answer. I really don’t know, man. That’s such a, you know what? Here’s the honest answer. I live my life like
03:36
So I’ve joked about it with my wife. uh You we’ve talked about as we as we talk about potentially having kids in the future one day, you know, and there’s the social kind of norm to not tell anybody for three months. And I said the only way that’s going to work, you don’t tell me for three months that you’re pregnant because I’m just not good at that. I lose my life uh sharing openly with people around me. That’s just what I do. That’s how I that’s how I would want to process great news. That’s how I’d want to process tragedy.
04:06
You know, if it happened, it wouldn’t be by keeping it a secret. So I don’t know that there’s much that most people wouldn’t know about me. ah If you’ve talked to me for one minute, you know a whole lot pretty quick. ah That’s that’s probably the truth, man. That’s funny. I’m sure your wife um doesn’t appreciate that at different times. There’s certain things it’s like, damn it, that’s that’s a husband and wife conversation. You’re like, oh, I’m sorry about that. I have I have relatively solid discretion. But at the same time, like
04:35
when you’re living your life, you know, a certain type of way, there’s not a whole lot that you need to be keeping hidden. If that makes any sense at all. Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. You know, I was thinking about something similar to that the other day, having a conversation with people that I work with. And I forgot one thing that I talked to one person about because I thought I talked to the other person about it.
05:01
I was like, did I talk to you about this thing or was it this person about this thing? And it was all about, you know, the same category of what we’re talking about. And I thought in the back of my head, thank God I don’t lie to people about dumb things even. Because at that point I’d have been like, oh, I’m totally lost and confused. knows? Let me tell you again, what do you think you know? Yeah, exactly. You know, but I got to be honest with you, Tim, and I think you knew this from years and years ago. I used to lie a lot. I was kind of a manipulator, but I was a hurt kid.
05:30
hurting kids basically. Yep. Hurt people, hurt people. That’s always the one of the truest cliches I’ve ever heard. Yeah. It makes so much sense. And as we get older, I think it seems to make more sense, you know, being in our late thirties. I’m sure you’ve seen people that you wonder you must have been through things, but why haven’t you gotten through it? Back up, back up, back up. I like to say mid to late thirties. I’m not ready to fully accept. I didn’t say you’re a 40 yet or close to 40. Sorry.
06:02
We were in our mid to late thirties. Go ahead. So here we are. We are in our teens. We’re just really smart for our teens. My God. If I knew the stuff that I know now, back when I was a teenager, I would still have fucked up. Let me just be clear. I wasn’t going to go there. Fuck it up was going to happen no matter what. But I think I would have fucked up worse. Oh, sure. Absolutely. would have made it much more epic fails. Absolutely.
06:30
Things would have gone from a kind of dumpster fire to an actual dumpster fire. things would have been legit on fire. So even let’s, let’s kind of jump with some of that. So when we first met Tim, we were actually kids. were teenagers. I think we were 18. So Tim and I met by joining a multi-level marketing company, like, you know, everybody at some point does. If you haven’t been an MNLM yet, you probably will be or you.
06:58
have at least already talked to somebody who’s tried to get you into one. Yeah, thankfully Facebook wasn’t as big as it is now. I wasn’t even around then. No, no, I know the way the now the way I tell people about, you know, it’s like, what’s an MLM? Oh, yeah. You know how like everybody, every third person on Facebook is talking about their essential oils or something? Yeah. We didn’t have to be those guys on Facebook because it wasn’t a thing. No, we were instead basically dialing for dollars. Yep. And making cold calls to
07:27
old family members that we even talked to in ages or friends of friends of friends. Remember me? Oh, so it’s funny, man. I remember getting into that company and literally the first time I met anybody, I thought I’m going to die here tonight. Like I was in such a negative spot. I went into that one main guy’s house, so you know, I’m not going to name him. I might have him on the show at some point because he’s a great dude. But I remember walking into his house with my buddy.
07:55
who brought me in there and I looked down the basement. And you remember that old, old, old basement they had? And I was like, that’s where I’m gonna die. That’s where it’s gonna happen. Am I okay with this? I was like, well, fuck, what else am I doing? Incredible. Oh yeah. But that was actually the beginning of my personal growth journey. Was that the same for you? For me to be alive is to grow. To say that my personal growth journey started at any one point or finished at any one point would just be misleading.
08:23
Basically, as long as I’ve been alive and struggling, there’s That’s just it. mean, from learning how to be a team player in sports and learning how to overcome adversity and setbacks to win or to learn how to deal with it when you don’t win. There’s just been growth in every season and every stage of my life. I look back and I get honest about it. um You know, again, same thing there. It was just another place where
08:52
a lot of good things and a lot of challenging things all came at me and I left it with, you know, a lot of lessons learned. I would say it this way, and I’ve seen this somewhere. don’t some kind of Instagram meme or something. But, know, there’s no such thing as failure. You either succeed or you learn. And that’s just been my experience. You know, as long as you’re breathing, you can move forward. Yeah, you absolutely should be. The thing that comes to mind at that sense is the homeless folks.
09:21
You I’ve lived in different downtowns, uh Philly, Portland, and though they’re on different sides of the country, there are homeless people there that I’ve looked at and I’ve thought, what is it? Why did you give up? And I don’t know, maybe some of them didn’t give up. Maybe some of them, you know, there’s something that’s wrong and they just didn’t get the help that they needed. And I’m not trying to bring this to a homeless conversation, but I’m right there with you. And I always wonder why people allow themselves to actually abandon themselves.
09:50
And I’m sure we’ve done at different points. I know I have. Heck, I did it a couple of years ago within my marriage. I abandoned myself in several different ways and it almost led me to jump off a roof. I’m glad that I didn’t. You know, I got to a point where I was like, I either jump or I have to change. But it sometimes takes people to get to that point. So I know you had gone through some addictions and some problems. Do you want to jump into that? Sure. And it relates honestly to what you talked about with homelessness, because I don’t think, I don’t think
10:20
anybody’s choosing that. That’s not true. I’m sure there actually are some people who just like the nomad lifestyle, but that’s got to be a small minority. I think for the most part, um it’s easy for us to look at that group the same way it is for um most people and me before I knew anything about addiction to look at a drug addict and say, uh you know, like what, where’d you go wrong? What is it? What, know, why are you such a failure? Why can’t you just get it together? um
10:50
And the reality is pretty different. One of the things that we learn in the program of recovery that I’m a part of um is that everybody’s dealing with something, essentially. Everybody’s sick in some way. um Our sickness is pretty clear with manifested in symptoms of a substance abuse disorder. But when somebody cuts you off,
11:18
and you want to lose your mind at them, it’s important to remember that, it’s, I don’t know what’s going on in their life. I have no idea. They’re either, maybe they’re rushing to the hospital with a sick kid, or maybe they’re just sick in a different way. And so I try to have, it’s not even, it’s a little bit beyond empathy, but that’s the word I’ll use when I look at somebody who’s struggling in a really pronounced way.
11:45
Because I think we’re all struggling in some way. And struggling doesn’t mean, well, having an issue doesn’t mean struggling, I would say. You know, we all have something going on. As an addict, I’ll be an addict forever. I’ll always go to meetings and say, Hi, I’m Tim, I’m an addict. But it doesn’t mean I’m struggling with it right now. It doesn’t mean I’m struggling with active addiction right now. the addiction, the disease, the problems, the issues, whatever we want to call it, they’re not the root.
12:15
No, no, there’s symptoms. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. When we talk about addiction or alcoholism or whatever, um you frame that up as, you know, we look at it as a disease with three, three different pieces. There’s a physical allergy where, know, when I, you know, if you have an allergy to pollen and you come in contact with pollen and I don’t, you’re going to react differently when you come in contact with pollen than when I do. So I have a physical allergy to drugs and alcohol where my body just responds differently than yours does.
12:44
And it creates this phenomenon called craving where I need and want more no matter what the consequences are in my life. um That’s the physical aspect. There’s also the mental obsession where even if I haven’t had any mentally, I can’t stop thinking about, um you know, this this stuff or this thing that I think is going to solve problems for me. And then there’s a spiritual malady to where I’m just not whole. I’m not um I have no connection to anything greater than me.
13:11
And essentially, you know, the words that we use often are that we’re driven by selfishness and self-centeredness. um That’s really the root of the problem for us, driven by a whole lot of fear. And it’s hard to see all that. um What’s interesting about uh drugs and alcohol, for me, was drugs really specifically. We reached out to that because it solves a problem at first. So it’s definitely not the problem at first. At first, it’s the solution to your problems.
13:40
you know, I’m uneasy all the time or I’m feeling inadequate or I feel trapped in my life or whatever it may be for you. Or I just don’t feel right. I don’t even can’t even identify. And so we reach out, we grab something, some substance, we see other people doing the same kind of thing. I had a rough day. need a glass of wine. And so, yeah, OK, cool. And it works for a little while, maybe a day, maybe a year where, yeah, I feel better. It’s solving that anxiety. It’s solving whatever.
14:08
or in reality, it feels like it’s solving that problem. What it’s really doing is masking the problem. And yeah, it’s not even a bandaid. A bandaid would actually be helping. It’s having a gash in your chest and then putting on a shirt that’s a picture of a healthy chest and saying, see, I’m good. ah I’m fine. Everything’s good here. So you feel better about it, but
14:34
But in reality, nothing’s nothing’s getting better. And I think it’s driven in our society big time, too. I mean, we all wear masks. uh Social media is certainly a hot topic to talk about. everything’s presented so perfectly on social media. Don’t believe it. It’s all just the um a fancified view of reality. No one’s actually that happy or perfect or whatever. And that may be true. I think ultimately, in reality, social media is the same as uh mom would have you dress up to put your best on for Sunday because we want to look nice for the
15:04
We can’t let them know that we’re psychopaths and running late and uh drowning our brothers in the bath tubs, like whatever. We gotta look nice for everybody in public. It’s the same thing. We just do it um on a larger scale through social media. I don’t think anything’s changed with society. It’s just done through a different medium. um But that’s the point. Nothing’s changed in society. So that problem everybody can identify in social media is not a new problem. It’s a normal thing.
15:32
It’s not even a problem to say it’s normal. We all wear masks. We all present in some way a little differently to others. Maybe not all, but I don’t like to talk in absolutes, but it’s it’s just such a common thing. it’s and it can be a dangerous thing. And that’s you know, when when when your mask or when your crutch, you know, becomes a substance and it stops helping, you know, it was helping you. You thought it was helping you at first. And all of a sudden, it’s not.
16:02
It’s not even helping. And you still can’t stop using it. And now there’s consequences for using it and you still can’t stop using it. So it’s not solving your problem at all anymore. Your original problem never went away. It only got bigger because you never addressed it or dealt with it. And then your solution that you thought was helping or helped you at least to pretend it wasn’t there, that’s not working. So the problem is big and in your face still, no matter how much you use or drink.
16:32
uh And you now have additional problems as a result of using and drinking. um And you still find yourself picking up that bottle or that, you know, pill or that powder because you need to at that point, because you need to at that point. It has hijacked fully the survival mechanism of your brain. Literally, the brain studies show that it mutes your prefrontal cortex, your part of your brain that’s responsible for decision making. um
16:59
uh, willpower and that kind of stuff is just kind of non-existent and the survival mechanism is the only thing that’s driving you. Um, and so it becomes a need. It’s, uh, it’s, it’s, it’s wild, man. Uh, the example I like to give the people is, you know, if you had your head held underwater and you were drowning and it was like, um you know, somebody said, Hey, punch your mom in the face and you can take a breath again.
17:25
You’d explain it away a million ways. I’ll explain to her I was going to die. Like she’ll understand, you know, I got to do. I mean, this is a need. You know, you do something that is very uncharacteristic to take that breath because it’s down to survival. And that is what addiction feels like. And it’s exactly what it feels like. At least that’s my experience. And that’s important to clarify. That’s what I experienced in addiction for me. um For me, it started with um prescription Adderall. uh I had
17:54
always been, uh, I don’t think it would have been part at any point in my life for someone to say, this kid has ADD. He is a wild and crazy guy. And, um, uh, at some point in my adult life, it was clear that I was struggling to complete tasks. Uh, was, you know, I had lot of great ideas, bad execution, kind of consistent feedback. So I to the doctor, got put on Adderall and that was, it actually helped for a little while. Uh, for a few years, I took it as I was supposed to take it.
18:24
And then outside of work as things in my personal life, in my first marriage were just crumbling around me. I really didn’t know how to deal with any of that. I was unequipped for the issues that we had from day one. And it was, but I was, you know, I’m good at work and I’m bad at home, so I’ll just stay at work more. And, you know, when you’re working 60, 80, 90 hours a week, hey, I’m going to write this proposal all night.
18:51
And I’m going to just take another aderol. That’ll help. And then I’ll just skip one on Saturday and then, okay, I’m out of my month’s prescription, you know, two weeks in. All right. That’s not good. Uh, so I’m, I think so and so has, can get some from them and then it’s, it’s like that. And then I’m so wired all the time and I can’t calm down. So I’m like, I remember, um, having experience with other, you know, substances that made me feel like calmer. Maybe I’ll get some of those.
19:21
And that’ll help bring me to a place where I’m feeling good. That’ll balance me out because the solution wasn’t to stop using the thing that’s making me crazy. was to add more things in my mind at the time. that was the direction it headed down. at every step, it’s wild how you rationalize um and explain away behavior that now I can look at say, that’s just not normal. That’s clearly insane. um
19:51
And what I’ve come to find is that so much of that uh is not driven really by the circumstances around me. was driven by the situations inside for sure. And I think that’s true for everybody, addict or not. We have, um we cope with stuff. um We put on a different mask or whatever based on what we feel like or what we’re afraid of or what’s unique to us. And something I learned in treatment and therapy and things like that are
20:20
If you think about situations, you and I could have the same exact situation happen to us. Somebody could cut you off in traffic and you could go, And I might lose my mind, or we could be at the shop, the store, the grocery store. And we’re in a little bit of a hurry and there’s no open lines and everybody’s got a huge cart full of stuff and we’re going to sit there waiting forever. And some people will literally freak out. And some people might…
20:50
just wait calmly and, but get angry inside. Some people might just go, well, that’s a bummer. I’m going to be late. Some people might ask somebody politely, Hey, what’d you guys, I just have this one thing. mind if I, you know, there’s, all react to the same situation so differently. And that’s because we’re all so different. And so often when I find myself feeling upset or angry or frustrated, I’ll look at, um, I’ll try to stop and say, what, you know, what is it in here? What is it with me? That’s, that’s, um,
21:19
you know, making that a problem for me. You know, it’s not that that isn’t necessarily a problem. What is it about me that’s making that or that person or that that situation um frustrate me? Because it’s it’s almost always coming from my own stuff. And that’s an important habit, an important discipline for me to to keep on a daily basis. Oh, yeah. I mean, even if it’s coming from them, it’s still your stuff. You still have to deal with your stuff. It’s not them. It’s not what they did.
21:48
I’ll be honest and this is all about authenticity and unpacking the things that we go through. Literally at the gym this morning, I see this guy who works the gym and I just think as he walked by, fuck that dude. And the only reason is because he looks like an asshole. But instantly I caught it and was like, I’ve thought about that two or three different times. Does he look like an asshole or does he look like he’s fit and in shape and you’re like a little jealous? I mean, there’s something going on. There is something going on. Yeah. is there about you. Yep.
22:16
And I thought about that today. as you’re describing it, you just said, because why? Because he looked like an asshole. No, that’s not why. Why? Because he brought something up inside of you. Yeah, exactly. So as I’ve thought about that a couple of times, just as he passed by and I think I heard him say something to somebody at some point that was sort of off color and a little weird. But it is because something that’s inside of me, because he reminds me of somebody from high school. It wasn’t just you, maybe. Exactly.
22:44
And it hit me today. And then I almost thought like, I need to get off the elliptical and walk up to this guy and shake his hand and say, hi, I’m Nick. Who are you? And then maybe if he is an asshole, I walk away and go, hey, at least I know. But it was interesting to think about that thought that it just popped up, came up into my mind and just starts yelling. Some people allow that to come out. Like you’re saying, they’ll freak out. Some people will just kind of keep that inside. I think the power right there. And I think we’re both on the same page with this is actually processing it. Yeah, absolutely.
23:13
I think back to the book, QBQ. Do you remember that book? It’s the question behind the question. So if you ask questions and keep going and going and going, I always think of that. Yeah, exactly. I think you get back to the root of that thing. Right, right. Keep digging until you get there. And it takes the work to be able to do that. And it’s important to do that to yourself. It’s incredibly important. In fact, I think that’s one of the most important things that most people allow slip by.
23:41
when they’re in the addiction. And look, I, I overdosed on heroin and almost died when I was 19. So I understand what the addiction looks like. Yeah. I just waited until I was 32 to do that. 33. Man. told you when we were 20, what happened and you didn’t listen. No, I’m just kidding. Totally good. We all have to learn the way that we need to learn, but we all have slight addiction problems in certain ways. I think life boils down to the balance and finding that
24:08
healthy balance where, a glass of wine at night, if you need it, that’s not a healthy balance. If it’s something that you want and it’s kind of a happy for you, you should still probably dig into that a little bit and be able to figure out what that thing is. But I think we all have that cusp of where we can balance or we can fall off and just fall into the addiction. So how did you get past that? Before I answer your question, but before I do, it’s important to me too to say, you know, that’s true. Balance looks different for everybody.
24:38
Right. Balance can be misleading as well. um For me, having balance in my life is having is living sober, um is not having, you know, trying to moderation doesn’t work for me is what I’ll say. And I had to learn that about myself and that’s fine. um And so I don’t I don’t have to rely on that kind of that kind of option. uh I was waiting tables with a friend uh in early sobriety.
25:08
And he said, well, when I first moved to Florida and got sober, it was weight tables. And we had a crazy shift. And he’s like, man, what are you going to do when you go home? Like, you don’t smoke, you don’t drink, you don’t, you know, like I’m going to have like, can’t wait to go have like two beers and just unwind. Like, how do you process this? And I was like, well, you know, I choose to live my life in such a way that I don’t have to. I don’t have to live reactively or respond to that. I’m I’m proactively maintaining, you know, that spiritual connection.
25:38
that keeps me grounded. So I don’t have to, I don’t have to go freak out and unwind. just, okay. It happened to move on. I’m the same way with food. Like when I, I’ve learned that for me, it is easier to have no brownies than to have one brownie or no French fries than to have a small order. I can’t do that. Um, I don’t know how all of you do. It’s insane to me. Um, like my wife, she’ll, she’ll, you know, have ordered dessert and like leave half of it. like, what are you, are you,
26:08
What are you doing? It’s right. Why are we going? It’s right there. I know that that doesn’t work for me. So that’s okay. That’s my balance. How I got through that, how I got over, um, gotten out of active addiction is really for me to the program of alcoholics and autopsies and the 12 steps and recovery programs like that. I went to treatment, I moved to Florida, um, to go to rehab five years ago. Um, and when I got out of treatment, I decided to stay. I moved to Stobor living here.
26:37
was surrounding myself with other people that were on the same journey that I was on and uh worked actively to uh really repair those three areas of uh that. I mentioned the diseases based on that spiritual malady where you just have no connection to anything bigger than you. uh And that’s a really terrifying place to live, by the way, when there’s nothing bigger than you, it’s all up to you. So if things are going well, that’s fine.
27:08
When things aren’t, oh man, that is a terrible place to be. There is a whole lot of peace to be found in saying, well, this is above my pay grade. There is a lot of peace there and that is a hard place to get because we are, even your business could be perceived as the giving a different message. I don’t think it is, but it could be seen that way. Cause our culture today wants to talk about personal success and personal development, personal growth. And that’s all great. um But man, we don’t have control over a whole lot in this world. uh
27:38
You know, I try to look at it like I’m going to do the best I can with what I’ve got in front of me. I’m going to trust God to handle the rest. And and that’s where I find peace there. So I worked hard to to, you know, really connect to God spiritually um prayer a lot, almost outsourcing my issues that God helped me figure this out, help me through that day um and even helping me when the mental thoughts of using again, I get that thought out of my head. um
28:08
And uh actively pursuing that relationship with God for me, um for others in the program, it’s not specifically God, but that is my experience. then enough time separated from drugs and alcohol through being in treatment helps take that physical craving away. That’s the physical allergy aspect of the disease. And then the mental obsession part, really that is what the 12 steps
28:37
ah of any 12 step recovery program are designed to do are to help you uh move past that mental obsession and reach and connect more towards higher powers, something greater than yourself so that you can find yourself in solid footing. And for me, uh an important lesson that is just so critical to share, man, is that
29:04
You know, when something’s working, we have this tendency to say, wow, that’s great. It’s over. It’s worked. Like I’m done. That’s good. I see it as a trainer. I see it in fitness all the time. Hey, this is great. I’m good. Like, uh, I’m good. I’m done now. Right. I’m Like, yeah, you’re finished for the rest of life. You’re totally good. No, man. That’s just not how it works. Um, and most people would laugh at that. Um, but I still have people that will ask me like, why do you still go to a meetings? Um, and I’ll tell you why. And
29:34
It’s because I had to learn a very hard lesson that uh it is something you have to maintain for the rest of your life. The same way you have to maintain your fitness, your health or anything else. It’s never something that is over as the COVID pandemic came through. I found myself really for the first time feeling a lot of fear again as a sober adult. uh We were supposed to get, my wife and I were supposed to get married March, April. uh
30:04
right when things started getting shut down in 2020. And, ah you know, this thing’s out of my control and I don’t, can’t accept this. This is crazy. People aren’t going to come to a wedding because they’re afraid. What are they afraid of? This is stupid. All these thoughts are going through my head. Like, this is crazy. How’s this really happening? I just couldn’t accept what was going on. ah It was, you know, just so bad and how we’re going to pay for stuff. I, well, I was at the time I was waiting tables and it was just, um
30:32
I’ve been working at the gym as a trainer now for about a year and both industries are shut down. I’m like, I don’t, there’s no remote options for most of that. And it was tough. was scary. And it felt like I lost fully that idea that I’ll do the best I can. I trust that it’s going to work out. I really have come to believe that faith and fear are opposites. I was, all the faith was gone and I was just living in fear.
31:01
So things went okay, know, unemployment stuff started to come through. um It was all right, but I had already at that point lost all that footing. had already fallen away from regularly attending or working a program in AA or anything like that. And um a very bad thing happened when I stopped going to AAVs, which is nothing bad happened. So I again remained convinced um on some level
31:30
Uh, that, okay, I’m good now. I’m different. See, I don’t really need all that. It’s okay. Um, you know, I’m good. I’m maybe, maybe mine was really just my circumstances. It wasn’t really my internal issues. Um, but as those fears came up, so came back a lot of insecurities that I have. then I’m, uh, as I’m in the industry of personal training, man, you know, growing up the chubby kid with body image issues and then working in, in, uh, South Florida in, in personal training is a tricky spot to be.
32:00
Um, if you don’t have a fit spiritual condition, man, because there is a whole lot of ego and a whole lot of just good looking men and women down here that are in this industry. And it’s tough to, uh, look around and think, am I fit in? I good? Am I lean enough? Am I today? Do I know enough? Um, and as things around me were looked good, I was not okay. And, um, about eight, nine months ago,
32:28
I got an ad on Instagram for you can, you can, uh, we’ll do a remote appointment for your doctor and prescribe you Adderall. And I thought, Hey, that worked for a while at first before maybe it’ll work again. Now I’m, I’ve got too many clients. I can’t handle stuff. I don’t feel sharp. Um, that’d be great. It was not great, Nick. was not great. they literally, mean, literally, could, you could just get a doctor’s appointment, uh, uh, over your phone and have a phone call and they’ll call in the script for you. It was incredible. And it was, you know, advertised to me.
32:58
And I was not in a place to chuckle and move on. I was in a place where I thought that’d be a really good idea. It was not. was not. It led me right back down the same exact path that took me down before. where December 29th, I would have been celebrating five years of sobriety, this December I celebrated six months. And I’m really happy with that six month. You know, as long as I continue to do the things I need to do, it’s going to, you know, be however much time it gets to be. But I also know that
33:27
I can learn a lot from that as well. I just like I said before, there’s no such thing as a failure as long as you’re still breathing. You either succeeded or you learned something. And I learned a lot. I really think too, it put me in a place where I’m going to be positioned to help people um in a way I wasn’t able to before. um I wasn’t helping people in the world of addiction as a sponsor or really helping people in that way at all. um I helped people in my career as a trainer. I thought that’d be enough, but now I’m able to put my arm around somebody who’s
33:57
you know, had some time of sobriety, fallen away and is feeling crushed and demoralized and feeling like, oh, I just ruined everything. I lost it all. And put my arm around him and say, hey man, I’ve been there. It’s going to be okay. And that’s a huge thing. So I’m thankful for already the little bit of um value that I can see in that. And I just, trust that God’s going to have a lot more lessons to teach me, you know, as I continue to move forward in this journey more aggressively.
34:26
and stay connected. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way that you don’t graduate from your issues. have to… It’s like oftentimes emotional issues. It’s like you go to your doctor because you have flu and you want him to give you medicine or whatever to make that disease go away. Therapy is different and our internal stuff is different for a lot of us. If you have a specific mental disorder, OK.
34:54
great that there might be something you need treatment for and that could be more along those same lines. But for most of us, man, whether it’s therapy, whether it’s, um, you know, just a good relationship that you use, whatever you’re doing, it’s much more like, um, uh, gosh, like landscaping. mean, I don’t know why I picked that example, but it’s just, it’s maintenance. It’s constantly, you constantly are weeding, maintaining, Ooh, I want to put this new plant in there, grow, it to it. Um, it just, it’s not something that you’re ever done with. Um,
35:24
And that’s great. You know, I remember I was really upset when I was like, I had to admit again that I had fallen back and I was like, I got to admit that I relapsed and I have to, and because I was like, now I’m going to have to start going to meetings. I had it so good before I didn’t have to go. Now I have to go. I ruined it. And I’m like, man, now I just have this great perspective of I get to, I get, I love going to, I love going to those. love checking with people.
35:52
The things that I learned there, the value that I get from sharing and talking about myself and just hearing others do that is, man, I was missing out on so much before and I thought I had, I thought I’d beat the system and this, and you know, I was just fooling myself. That’s not even, that’s not even it. It’s not even just that I was fooling myself. I was just missing out on stuff. I didn’t know, I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
36:18
Well, sometimes you’ve got to have that relapse to be able to continue to learn a lesson because you didn’t finish learning the lesson. And as you said, you’re going to continue to go on and grow. Let’s talk about your mindset in that space because there are people that make the decision or others make the decision for them to get them into some sort of treatment. Then they’re there and they’re doing the thing. You and I both know that once you make that decision and you start putting your foot in front of the other, you’re actively doing the thing and your momentum and your energy is taking you that way. But let’s talk about that.
36:48
fucked up area where you were like, I’m about to relapse, but I think it’s okay. And then going through that. And then at the end of it, understanding that you had to love yourself and give yourself grace. Can you speak to the audience a bit of, for those people specifically that are going through that and have had those problems, how do you, how do you go through it? uh You got to get other people involved. You just do like nothing good.
37:15
comes in the darkness. You got to just bring light into it. You just do. There is beauty in surrendering and admitting your own defeat and saying, just, I’ve been, I’ve been trying to hold all this together. I thought I was holding it together. I’m not. um Even if you’re not ready to say, I’m not, need help. There’s no, there’s, there’s just, just saying, Hey, here’s what’s going on. Is, is, is magic.
37:44
I don’t know how else to answer your question, but that’s it. mean, it’s just, you gotta, you gotta get it out of, out of the shadows and into the light. it sounds like the, the main step that people need to take is just that getting your ass out of bed step. It’s like, when you think, when you’re like, I gotta get up, I gotta get out of bed, just get out of bed. Just get your foot down on the ground. Do what you need to do to have that first conversation. Be with a friend. uh
38:14
family member, a therapist, whoever it is, somebody that would you suggest somebody that you trust or who would you suggest? Yeah, of course. Of course. You trust. It’s so hard, Honestly, I would suggest another alcoholic or another addict. That’s why that’s why so powerful and and a and all the 12 step programs are so powerful because they’re really centered on, you know, one alcoholic or one addict or one sex addict or whatever, helping another. And that’s it, because because you can talk to you.
38:43
I can talk to my wife, she doesn’t understand. She’s literally the most incredible woman, not that I’ve ever met, but that I could even imagine. But she’s just, she hasn’t experienced this. She doesn’t, she tries to understand. She’s full of grace. It’s unreal. um But, you know, then I can go talk to somebody else who’s experienced it, I’ve experienced it. And they’re like, oh yeah, it’s 100%. I get it. um And that’s uh a really important.
39:12
important thing. know, even before that though, man, it’s
39:17
And this is good, because this is much bigger than just any drug or addiction, but it’s recognizing that there is something better and it’s available to you. And if you can’t recognize that, you’re never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to be able to say, want this, you know, I can make this, I can take that first step.
39:47
And I’ve seen that happen as a trainer in the fitness space. And I believe we all know at least one who says something like, um, gosh, I would do anything to not be fat. I’m the quoting somebody directly in my mind. So I’m not calling anybody their own perception of themselves. Um, I would do anything to, Hey man, I’ve been overweight and unhappy myself too. Uh, here’s what I did. Like try, have you tried some of this, some of that? Um,
40:18
Haha, yeah. Oh, I wish.
40:23
No, man, it’s really available to you. I understand though, because I know what it feels like to feel like, yeah, yeah, I see other people are healthy. I see other people aren’t using drugs or alcohol. I see other people are fit. I see other people have success in business. I see all that. I believe that that happens, but that’s not available for me, right? Like that’s not, I’m too far gone. All right. It’s almost like the people that always say, oh yeah, but you don’t get me. You don’t understand what I’m going through. No, no, mine’s different.
40:53
Oh, that’s every that’s every single one of us, man. People like me, that’s all of us. Yeah. But but I’m but you don’t understand my thing. We’re trying to I mean, because we’ve rationalized it to ourselves for so long that it literally makes sense. It makes total sense to us. That’s and so when I when I want to justify what I’m doing to somebody else, I’m going to even if even if I don’t know that’s what I’m doing, I’ve been that person who will say, yeah, but you know, my
41:22
You don’t understand my marriage was really bad. had a medical condition that we didn’t even know about. all these things. And really, you know, the question behind the question, the result I’m trying to get to without even realizing that’s what I’m doing is I’m really trying to present everything to a place where you’re going to go, yeah, you know what? You’re right. I guess you could, I guess, I guess you can go ahead and keep doing heroin, Tim. Like what? That’s ultimately the only reason to say any of that stuff. The only reason to offer up any excuse.
41:52
Um, or to offer up any, um, yeah, but it’s because you’re trying to get somebody to go, yeah, I would, I’d be that way too. Um, but even if they would, so what oh there’s still somebody out there who wouldn’t be, and there’s a better way. Um, so it’s. Yeah, it’s recognizing that there’s a better option out there. There is something better. And then it’s available to you that there’s that no matter where you are, you’re not too far gone. Whatever your goal is, whatever your dream is, whatever your objective is, whether it’s.
42:20
sobriety, whether it’s uh kicking some addiction, whether it’s kicking a food addiction, whether it’s getting healthy, whether it’s um having abs or lowering your blood pressure, whatever it is, um the promotion at work, starting your own business, you’re not too far away from it at all. It just starts with the first step. And instead of looking at the whole magnitude of the mountain that you want to climb, it’s important to keep your head in front of you and look at
42:49
the steps that are right there. That is why in the recovery community, we often say it’s one step at a time, one day at a time, know, taking it one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time, you know, one second at a time, because that’s all, that’s all that matters is what’s in front of you right now, accomplish that, and then repeat and repeat. And as you talked about before, it’s something I just posted on Instagram earlier yesterday actually was
43:17
Momentum is powerful, It can work against you if you have been stopped. Because now all the momentum is towards, is moving in the direction of not moving. You know, you have gotten comfortable doing nothing. I called it the quicksand of complacency. It’s a real thing. It’s easy to fall into that. It’s always easier to roll over than it is to roll out. It’s always easier to do, not today, I’ll be fine.
43:47
And the very cruel thing happens when you do that. Nothing bad. You don’t lose your fitness or your health in one day. You don’t lose the relationship for the one time you decide not to go to dinner. don’t lose or you you call and say, can’t make it. don’t lose, um, you don’t lose your job. The one time you call out sick, you don’t, but man, it’s so much harder to get back to the gym after that day off that week off. It’s so much harder to pick up that next, um,
44:15
You know, next step in your career path, when you’ve fallen a little bit behind, you know, you got to catch up before you can even grow. But not only is it harder to start again, once you’ve stopped, it’s easier to keep going if you would have kept going. it doesn’t matter if you’re starting or stopped. Start now. It’ll suck at first. It’ll be really hard. Force yourself to get started and remind yourself that every time you do it, you are building momentum towards making it easier every day.
44:45
And then if you decide once you’ve started again, if you decide I’m to take, I’m to take a break and stop completely, you’re, you’re just hitting reset. You’re just putting yourself right back to where you started. know, recognizing it is out there, recognize it’s available to you, but also recognize that if you want it, you got to work for it. It’s not going to be easy at first, but it will get easier every day. I mean, that’s been my experience in recovery. It’s been my experience in fitness. It’s been my experience in my career. Um, just been my experience. makes sense. The momentum that will keep going.
45:14
I think of the people that will make those excuses and I’m one of those people just like you are. do it. Nobody’s perfect. And we make those excuses. And then from that point, we just allow ourselves to think, well, future me doesn’t want to deal with this stuff. So, you know, I’ll just do something else or I’ll let future me deal with that and I’ll do something else. When if you just allow future you to reap the benefits of current you.
45:42
And I play this game with myself at times where I’m like, I’ll let future of me deal with that. And I’m like, future me is gonna fucking hate you. You better do the thing right now. I’m like, touche. But I’ve gone through the experience of having future me go, did I get here? How am I this low? So in those moments, when you know that you’re about to fall back to that thing or to make that excuse, how do you manage your mindset? A couple thoughts come to mind, man. For me, again,
46:10
Community is an important part of recovery. So staying engaged and connected with other people is huge. um And then regular disciplines help keep me in a place where I’m really, I guess I would say this way, regular disciplines keep me in a good place. And for me, that looks like prayer and meditation. It looks like reviewing my day every night and looking at, um you know, what did I accomplish today? You know, what am I working on tomorrow? What am I grateful for?
46:40
What am I, where was I resentful? Was I mean or unkind to anybody today? Is there something I need to apologize for that I’ve been holding onto and nip that stuff in the bud before it grows? Because, know, anger is normal, but resentment is reliving anger that you should have already passed and letting it build. And that’s when it becomes poison. So those disciplines are key. I talked earlier about
47:10
kind of outsourcing the decisions to God in prayer. And that’s what works for me. I put it to somebody this way earlier today, actually, and I love it. I’m not in the results business anymore at all in my life. I’m in the action business. My job is to take action. God is in the results business. So I just, I take the actions and I trust that it’s, again, that the results are gonna come. And actually that’s helped my experience in fitness as well, because it’s the same thing.
47:39
I’m not in the results business in fitness, is a crazy thing to say. I’m very much am, but, I don’t focus on that. I focus on the actions. I focus on if you stick to the plan, eat the right things, do the right work. Guess what? The results will happen. They just will. It’s not a question, not an if, never seen it not happen. If you do it the right way, it happens. And that’s
48:07
a great lesson to live to live with your health and fitness, but also we have this prayer in recovery community called the Serenity Prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom through the difference. And man, let me tell you, there’s so much in this world that we cannot control. It’s just about everything, everything but me. The only thing I can control is Tim. So being intentional about reminding myself that I’m not in control is
48:37
what keeps me grounded and kind of centered in that place, no matter what’s going on in my day to day. That was true when I had two years of sobriety. That’s true now when I have, you know, six months, as long as I’m actively pursuing a relationship with God, trusting Him and letting that faith cloud out the fear, ah I know that I’m going to be okay.
49:02
It’s a big point. There’s also a divide there. There are the people that don’t um subscribe to that. They don’t have that faith. I’ve had conversations with people that are agnostic or atheist that also subscribe to the exact same thing you’re talking about, where they allow to get it out there. It has nothing to do with religion. And that’s a really important point. I’m glad you said that because there plenty of agnostic atheist people that have that same idea and you don’t need religion to have that idea.
49:30
People talk about the universe or everything’s meant to be or everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason is a a phrase is a concept that is not in the Bible. not a Christian thought at all. It’s actually. Some could argue it’s it’s counter to Christianity, that everything happens for a reason in the context we meet in our world today. But but it’s the same idea, it’s the same thought, it’s the same place. I’m accepting whatever happens. And when I say I’m going to do the best I can with what I got and trust that
50:00
no matter what happens, it’s going to be okay. I don’t mean it’s going to be what I want. I mean, it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be all right. I take myself back to a place where I was uh in withdrawal and uh suicidal and um miserable. And I would just pray that I just, I just want to be okay. I just want to be okay. And now when I look at any issue that I’m facing today, I can confidently say, even if it goes exactly the opposite of the way Tim wants, and it just falls to shit.
50:27
I am going to be so far ahead of the okay that I was desperately praying for years ago. There’s a lot of people that wish that they could just be at that okay point. I would think that a lot of that is them allowing themselves to not be okay. And that’s where, you look, we’re telling you that you are choose it sometimes, don’t we? Yeah, you just got to choose to be. You got to allow yourself to have the conversation. So be it with God.
50:56
Be it with a friend, be it with a therapist or whatever, you need to have that conversation. So Tim, I appreciate you getting into a lot of that. This is a lot uh more addiction than I thought we were going to get into because for the most part, I have expected that we’re going to just go the nutrition route and all of that. But this is really what this podcast is about. It’s about getting to the depth. can’t talk about it.
51:22
fitness and nutrition without talking about addiction. And honestly, it’s cool for me because it really helps me relate to my clients in so many ways. When I look back at my own life, you know, struggling, like I mentioned earlier, struggled with, uh, you being a chubby kid, body image issues as a kid. Um, I have so many female clients that think that women have the monopoly on body image issues and looking at magazine covers and stuff like that. And I’m like, guess what? Fully incorrect. I have not stopped sucking in my stomach for 20 years. I get it. I really get it. Um, but I can relate.
51:52
not just because of my that history, not just because of the physical transformation I went through over the last five years myself, but because of addiction. When people are coming at me going, dude, I just can’t stop with the Oreos. Like I know, I really do know. I know exactly how you feel. And I can bring some level of um advice and counsel that can be supportive there. And that has helped some people in a significant way change, um change their lives and likely add years to their lives.
52:21
So let’s take one of those cases. You don’t have to name names, don’t in fact, but think about one of those cases where you knew this person was really struggling with those Oreos or the drinks or whatever it was, you know? uh What advice do you give those people in that moment? So I usually, I almost always talk about uh my own experience myself and it can feel terrible to have somebody who you think is in great shape tell you everything you need to do.
52:50
Even if you’ve hired them to do that, it can feel terrible. So I don’t do that. I talk about what’s worked for me. um And I encourage them to do the same. I never put things in terms of you need to do this, you need to that ever. I talk about let’s try these things because um everybody’s different and you’re going to find what works for you. And that’s really key. So what I talk about first is that number one, everybody is and we got to find what works for you. What does it mean though? Something that works for you.
53:19
It means that number one, you can stick to it. You can do it. And number two, it’s helping you accomplish your goals. So if, yeah, you can stick to eating a bowl of ice cream every night. Sure. That’s not hard to stick to. But is it helping you accomplish the goals that you want? Probably not. So let’s look at some other options. I talk about my own experience where I’ve learned that for me, none is easier than some. None is easier than some. So I tend to stick with like a low carb focused diet because for me, that’s easier.
53:49
And it’s counterintuitive, but it’s way easier to have no pasta than it is to have one bowl. I I’ve plowed through so much food. So like literally, man, I have memories of ordering three large pizzas for me and my ex-wife, and two of those are for me. It’s not, I’m not exaggerating. And I know a lot of people that can relate to that. So when I share those stories, they go, yeah, yeah, you’re right. think you’re right.
54:16
And I prepare them for what I experienced as well. Listen, it’s hard the first few weeks, but I promise you, gets better. Promise you, it gets better. Promise you, it gets better. Let’s try it. Let’s see how goes. And let’s stay in touch. I offer to be, I offer accountability. And that’s the other thing that’s really helpful as well is to say, listen, you know, when you’re thinking about it, or if you’re at home tonight and you’re struggling, you know, you’re craving whatever it is, you know, you can text me, call me, whatever. Even if I don’t answer that might help you. Oh, another thing that I do, this is, this is really.
54:46
This has helped me a lot. help try to I try to help people see the difference between being hungry and wanting to eat because they are very different things. When you’re hungry, you should eat. When you want to eat, it’s likely that your brain wants to build on me, which is exactly the reason we need water. Yeah. Or you’re thirsty. Right. Because your brain is looking for something. And we tend to confuse that. We have the same thing in addiction, too, where we’ll say, hey,
55:11
If you think you want to use, do you really want to use or are you hungry? Are you angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired or bored? So I talked to my clients about that too. I say, are you bored? Are you angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired? Think about those things first because maybe you just need to go to bed. Maybe you, um, maybe you’re just bored and you want to eat out of boredom because your brain wants a little dopamine hit. You’re better right now. Um, so what I, what I’ve taught is I called the grilled chicken test. Does a piece of grilled chicken.
55:41
Sound good right now. You know, seasoned up with all the garlic, whatever you want. Does that sound like good? Buffalo sauce, whatever you’re into. If that doesn’t sound, if you’re like, no, I don’t want that, I want something. You’re not hungry. You’re not. You’re having a craving. You want, and that can be driven by a lot of things. It can be driven by those things I talked about. can be driven by the hormone, Grailin spiking in your body, which is a normal thing that happens every evening, which is why at night we tend to go, I want sweet or I want like,
56:10
fatty and savory, like I want cheese fries. Like we want that stuff because we want a dopamine fix in our brain. We don’t want it. It’s not that we’re hungry anymore. Hell, my dogs do it. You know, we’ll feed them. They’ll eat their whole bowl and then they’ll be begging at the table while we’re having dinner. And my wife will say, oh, babe, they’re hungry. No, they are not hungry. They want, they just want to eat the human food that smells really good right now. They, you know, they just ate a whole bowl. They’re fine. But that’s it. So I’ll prepare them. I’ll talk about all those things.
56:40
We will try different dietary approaches until we find one or once multiple ones that work for them that they can stick to that are helping them accomplish their goals. And we’ll do that together. That’s the other thing is that I will always let them know we’re doing this. We’re now doing this together. It is now a we problem, not a you problem. You know, we’re going to, we’re going to keep trying as many times as we can or as we need to until we, you know, until we get it right. You know, I try to stay out of the blame. I try to stay away from.
57:09
making people feel guilty, you know, it doesn’t help. It doesn’t work. If it did, they wouldn’t be where they are. already know nothing I say is going to make you feel any worse. They already do. I know at least no, you couldn’t say anything to me. It made me feel worse than I already did about myself. Um, so I, just, I understand that. I just try to live, uh, in that space with, my clients. Sounds like a lot of it boils down to accountability and sort of companionship in a sense to be able to have that accountability with somebody else.
57:38
Yeah, is everything with health and fitness, man. It’s just everything. If you’re struggling right now with health and fitness and you don’t know how to get moving forward, you don’t know what to do. um Sure. If you have the means, a personal trainer can be life changing. Group fitness classes can be really, really helpful. At a minimum though, find yourself somebody else, even if they don’t know what they’re doing either, and do it together. know, Google that shit together, show up together.
58:07
show up together, do the wrong workout together every day for a year. Guess what? Your life’s going to be so different three months in and you’ll learn plenty. You’ll learn plenty. You’ll build so much momentum. You’ll be good. getting, getting somebody involved with you, getting that accountability partner, getting that assistance is my God, it is so crucial. When I first was in Florida, when I came down here, I was two 75.
58:37
Um, just out of shape, hated myself for a million reasons, but certainly didn’t like the way it looked. And, um, uh, I was waiting tables to just try to figure life out again. And, um, one of the guys was waiting tables with said, you should come to my gym and it’ll make you throw up. And I said, cool, let’s go. I went, was like, this is great. I love that. But like, was a great workout, but I don’t, you know, it’s, don’t have a car and it’s, um, uh, it would have been like a $30 Uber each way. So I’m like, I can’t really go here.
59:06
He’s like, I’ll pick you up. was like, dude, if I’m paying this money for this membership, I’ll go in every day because he’ll pick you up every day. This, this guy picked me up every day from, from the halfway house I was living in for six months. Every morning he picked me up and it was awesome because he was in the best shape of his life for six months. And I was too, at that point, because he wasn’t going to not show up for me. And I wasn’t going to roll over when I know he had woken his ass up to help me. You know what saying?
59:34
Even when neither one of us felt like going, which at the beginning is more often than not, we, um, we went every day, every day. And God, that was the just, just the best man. So find, find somebody to do it with you. If it’s a professional, great. If you don’t have the means, fine, fine. Go find an amateur. We’ll sit on a bike or a row machine at the gym and just do something. And that is the best way to get started. just really is. Accountability is huge.
01:00:04
I agree with that. Living in Florida for a couple years as well. oh I don’t have the friends that I had in PA or out in Oregon or anything like that. So I struggled through some of that at first because I didn’t have people around to hold me accountable. I didn’t have friends that would come pick me up or friends that I’d have to meet because I’m right there with you. That accountability of like, yo, I have to meet Danny or whoever at the gym at this time or I know he’s going to
01:00:32
light me up and be like, yeah, what’s the deal? Yeah, exactly. And you can’t let that person down. But when you’re by yourself, I think it goes back to what I said earlier, get your ass out of bed. Take that first step to just put your shoes on and walk out the door to go to the gym and start moving and at least get there and then go to the gym. Sometimes the only victory you need is to show up. Show up.
01:00:57
I have a five minute bike ride and a bullshit workout and get out of there. And you know what? At you kept the momentum going. That can’t be every day, of course, but sometimes that’s, that’s enough. It’s wild. As you were talking though, it’s, it’s so much easier to let ourselves down than it is to let somebody else down, isn’t it? It’s It’s weird, man. It should be the opposite, but it’s not. It’s not really isn’t. And, um, it’s important to know that. Cause when you know that you can, uh,
01:01:26
You can use that your advantage. You know, you can, you can recognize your own, uh, the booby traps we set for ourselves and try to try to jump through those. we start to abandon ourselves at different times. Look, you and I have both been through divorce. Uh, we can recall times where I’m sure we both just abandoned or gave up and wanted some sort of pleasure in some other way. Um, not saying they were cheating involved or anything of the sort, but looking for those addictions or looking for a means to get out of that.
01:01:56
I didn’t cheat, but I cheated with heroin. You know, we found an escape some other way. Yeah. And it’s that accountability. So moral of the story here, get accountability somewhere, but you got to first be aware of it. And I think awareness is a big thing that we’ve talked about with actually, without actually saying the word, because if you’re aware of a problem, then you can actually do something about it. If you’re not aware, then there’s a major problem and you just don’t understand what’s going on. The first step is admitting the problem. First step is admitting you have a problem. Yeah. Yeah, it really is.
01:02:24
And so that’s ironically the truth of 12 steps. Literally the first step is admitting that you have a problem. So it’s, uh, it is absolutely important. I think a close second though, or whether it’s the second step or not, but right behind there, you’re going to be acknowledging that there is, like I talked about earlier, there is a better way and it’s available to me. Cause if you don’t have that hope, you’re out. You know what I mean? So I think hope is another word I would use for sure.
01:02:54
You know? Yeah. And it can be easy for us to feel hopeless when you’re in those rough situations when you’re about to. Oh, yeah. Make any sort of bad decision. You can almost feel hopeless. We get the hopeless in in small ways, man. You could be at work with a boss you don’t like and be like, oh, you know, this is just my life now. Like, no, man, it’s not like you’re a phrase we use a lot to is that your feelings aren’t facts.
01:03:23
because what feels like this is just reality now, ah feels like this is forever. It’s not, it’s not. This is what you, maybe it’s what you’re going through now. Maybe it’s not even really happening right now. It’s just what you feel. You’ll feel better about it tomorrow. Maybe it’s important to never lose that uh perspective that this isn’t forever. Whatever it is, it’s good, not forever. I got to keep, keep the momentum going so it can continue. That’s the hard lesson I learned a few months ago. And if it’s bad, not forever either. It’s a pass.
01:03:53
Yeah, tomorrow will be better. Really someday soon. Can be better. Yeah, it can be if I want it to be. If I choose it to be, if I want to make it that way. People say all the time, know, hey, have a great day. I hate that. I never say have a great day. I say make it a great day. I don’t like to let my days happen to me. Well, on that note, we’ve covered a lot, man, a whole lot. Is there anything else you want to add to all of it? Brother, good to see you. This has been fun. Yeah, man. This has been an absolute blast. I appreciate you being on. So before we wrap things up,
01:04:22
We’d love to know where can people find you? Where can they connect with you? What are your details? Yeah, jump in. The easiest way to connect with me is on Instagram. My handle is Timstagramcpt for certified personal trainer. So it’s pretty easy and fun. uh Just Tim and then Stagramcpt. You’ll able to see what I’m doing with clients. You’ll be able to connect with me if you want to chat or ask me a question, anything at all like that.
01:04:52
whether it’s about fitness or variety, anything life in general, always more than willing to, to, to connect and help anybody with anything in any way that I can really just trying to be a servant and, um, you know, bring, bring hope and help to others. So we appreciate you for that. It’s been a pleasure. I appreciate you being on with us today. Uh, and thank you everybody for listening.
01:05:22
Another great conversation on today’s episode of the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I think the moral of the story from our conversation is that there is help available. It’s available for you, for me, for all of us. But we first need to be aware of the problem, then start taking action. Well, what did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topics we got into today. And if you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes and subscribe, rate, and leave a five-star review. It’s very much appreciated.
01:05:50
And if you really enjoyed the show today, go ahead and share it with your friends. We covered a pretty tough subject and got some really great tips that work for all of us. You can check out the show notes for more info, contact info for Tim, and check out other episodes on themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com, as well as our YouTube channel, The Mindset and Self Mastery Show. That’s where we show different clips and things that we got into, really the nitty gritty. So you’ll find some great stuff there.
01:06:19
But thanks again, Tim, for being real, for being honest and vulnerable with us, as well as sharing some of the strategies that have worked for you to continue on your path to self-mastery. And thank you to you, yes, you, for hanging out with us today. And with that, remember, your mindset matters. And so do you.
https://youtu.be/Ssgon46ifhY
