The Missing Peace

It's a bittersweet one: Danielle Griffiths and Brooke Benevento wrap up season one of The Missing Peace with a game plan for the last two months of the year. Instead of waiting for January and New Year's resolutions, they make the case for starting now, so that when the new year comes, you're already in stride.

Looking back on the season, they agree the recurring theme has been awareness. Once you do this work, you can't unsee it, and it's a daily practice, not a finish line. They revisit Napoleon Hill's Outwitting the Devil, written in 1938 on the eve of World War II, and his six basic fears, and then break down how to move toward your most authentic, most peaceful self.

Danielle shares why gratitude has to come before asking for anything, and Brooke talks about her goal of 250 workouts this year, why she almost quit around day 45, and what happens when a habit finally takes hold. They talk about protecting your mind and health first thing in the morning, why "this is hard" usually means "this is uncomfortable," and why that discomfort is a sign you're about to break through.

Then Brooke shares the equation she uses in coaching, thought + belief + emotion = reality, and how to put it to work by writing your own one-page story and reading it every day. Danielle shares how two of the five things in the story she wrote a couple of years ago have already come true, including hosting this podcast.

They close with a heartfelt thank-you to everyone who has listened this season, and an invitation: if you have a topic you're passionate about, they'd love to hear from you for season two.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why you don't have to wait for January to start becoming the best version of yourself
• Why awareness and self-awareness have been the thread through every episode
• Napoleon Hill's six basic fears: criticism, illness, poverty, loss of love, old age, and death
• How to know your purpose and values, and find your "why"
• How knowing yourself makes it easier to say no
• Why you should compare yourself only to your past self
• Why it's okay to decide something you asked for isn't for you, and let it go
• Why gratitude matters in prayer and meditation
• How to build consistent daily habits, starting small
• How to make a stop, start, continue list
• Why putting your workouts and "me time" on the calendar works
• Treating failure as a learning opportunity, and discomfort as a sign of growth
• The equation: thought + belief + emotion = reality
• How to write your story, and why to read it every day
• Why being specific helps you notice the opportunities that show up
• If you don't know what you want, start with a list of what you don't want and flip it
• Why you can't make excuses and be successful at the same time

Mentioned in this episode:

• Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill
• The first four episodes of The Missing Peace, on social heredity
• Our episode with Dr. Donya Ball, "Disagreement Is Inevitable, Division Is a Choice"

Your challenge for the rest of the year:

• Write your story. On one page, describe the life your higher self is living, as specifically as you can. Read it every day with belief and emotion behind it, and watch for the small shifts and opportunities that start to show up.

Want to be on the show?

• If you have a topic you're passionate about that fits what we do, reach out. We're planning 2027 now and are open to having more guests on next season.

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — help us keep this podcast going

This is the final episode of season one. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, to everyone who has listened, messaged, and emailed. We're planning to be back in 2027 for season two, and we can't wait to hear how your story has manifested.

Like, comment, subscribe, and send this episode to someone who you think might enjoy it!

Brooke is out this week after some tech trouble in Tennessee, but the show must go on. Danielle Griffiths sits down with Dr. Donya Ball, a friend she's known since middle school, to talk about something that feels more timely than ever with the elections just around the corner: how to disagree without dividing.

Donya spent 25 years in K-12 public education, from instructional aide all the way to seven years as a superintendent, before stepping away to speak, write, and consult on leadership across industries. She explains why going into a conversation with the intent to win means you've already lost, and how their shared background in athletics taught them both to compete hard while still respecting the opponent. The goal of a hard conversation isn't always agreement. It's understanding why the other person stands where they do.

Donya shares a story from a keynote her husband heard, about George W. and Laura Bush inviting the Kennedys over for a movie and starting from what they agreed on. Danielle talks about debating a bot online, why people should focus on policy instead of people and parties, and how division can be manufactured on purpose. Together they get into tug-of-war conversations that aren't worth picking up the rope for, why changing your mind is a sign of maturity, why a relationship isn't really tested until the first disagreement, and what Brave New World says about a society where everyone has to be happy and think the same.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why approaching a conversation with the intent to win means you've already lost
• What athletics teaches about competing hard and respecting your opponent
• Why the goal of a hard conversation is understanding, not agreement
• Starting from common ground: the story of the Bushes inviting the Kennedys over
• Why it's a sign of maturity and wisdom when adults change their minds
• How to decide whether to pick up the rope in an online tug-of-war
• Why bots and anonymous accounts push us straight to division
• Focusing on policy, not people or parties
• Why leaders who won't honor other voices end up with turnover and low morale
• How disagreements can make friendships and marriages stronger
• What a world where everyone thinks the same would cost us
• Why owning it when you get things wrong is a sign of growth

Mentioned in this episode:

• Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
• The quote "Disagreement is inevitable, but division is a choice"
• A previous episode of The Missing Peace on color revolutions and psyops

Connect with Dr. Donya Ball:

• Website: donyaball.com
• Find her on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected] (have a question for Donya? Send it our way and we'll pass it along!)

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — help us keep this podcast going

Season one is wrapping up. Thank you for all the emails, messages, and support!

Like, comment, subscribe, and send this episode to someone who you think might enjoy it!

With the midterm elections just a couple of weeks away, Brooke Benevento and Danielle Griffiths take on a big one: psyops, or psychological operations, and the everyday ways our thinking gets shaped by what we let into our minds.

Danielle first learned about brainwashing as a little girl, watching Marlena fall under Stefano's spell on Days of Our Lives with her Nana. Today she walks through how a behavioral expert she follows says you can spot a psyop: the same narrative suddenly everywhere at once, old stories pushed as if they just happened, and people silenced or ostracized for disagreeing. As he puts it, if it's a good idea, it won't require suppression to exist.

Brooke takes on the mindset side. Why are we drawn to fear and bad news instead of puppy yoga? Fear comes from feeling out of control, drama and fear sell, and if you grew up on drama, peace can feel boring and uncomfortable at first. She shares the moment during COVID when she flipped from CNN to Fox, heard two completely different stories, and decided to turn the news off and start thinking for herself.

From there they get into color revolutions, China's "three warfares" doctrine, the four eras of The Fourth Turning and whether we're living in the crisis season right now, the history between the media and intelligence agencies, Operation Mockingbird, and how our algorithms build each of us our own little matrix. It's a wide-ranging conversation, and Brooke and Danielle share their own views and the claims they've come across; they encourage you to dig in and decide for yourself.

They close with a challenge for the week and a reminder that the greatest defense against manipulation isn't knowing every secret. It's learning to notice when your emotions are overriding your judgment.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What a psyop is, and why this is an opportune time to talk about it
• How Days of Our Lives taught Danielle about brainwashing as a kid
• Three signs you might be looking at a psyop
• Why fear comes from feeling like we're not in control
• Why peace can feel boring when your nervous system is used to drama
• Napoleon Hill's six basic fears: poverty, criticism, loss of love, illness, old age, and death
• Why watching only one news channel gives you only one story
• What a color revolution is, and how division keeps us from seeing the bigger picture
• The four turnings: high, awakening, unraveling, and crisis
• Carl Bernstein's reporting on the CIA and the press, and Operation Mockingbird
• Why the fear of public speaking is really the fear of rejection
• How algorithms put each of us in our own little matrix
• Finding common ground and having civil conversations with people who think differently
• The 24-hour challenge: notice who or what has the most influence on your emotional state
• Why the freedom to choose what we watch, or to turn it off, matters

Mentioned in this episode:

• Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill
• The Fourth Turning by William Strauss and Neil Howe
• Days of Our Lives
• Lioness (the TV series)
• John Wick
• Episode 1 of The Missing Peace, on media and narrative

Your challenge this week:

• Spend one day noticing your reactions to social media before you comment, argue, or share. At the end of the 24 hours, ask yourself who or what had the most influence on your emotional state.

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — help us keep this podcast going

Only a couple of episodes are left in season one before we break for the holidays, and we're hoping to come back with season two. Thank you for all the emails, messages, and support!

Like, comment, subscribe, and send this episode to someone who you think might enjoy it!

"You're different from everyone else." It sounds like the start of something special, and sometimes it is. But Brooke Benevento and Danielle Griffiths say it can also be the very first sign that you've walked into a relationship with a narcissist.

This episode started with Taylor Swift's new song "Patient Zero," which Brooke heard as a song about narcissism and the damage it leaves behind. Danielle, the show's resident history person, takes it back to the source: the Greek myth of Narcissus as Ovid told it in Metamorphoses, the nymph Echo who could only repeat the last words she heard, and Nemesis, the goddess of retribution who punished him for how he treated people.

From there they walk through ten red flags, in the order they tend to show up: love bombing, fast attachment, testing your boundaries, compliments that turn into criticism, control, blame shifting, reality distortion and gaslighting, punishment and withdrawal, the pull back in just as you start to heal, and the cycle starting over. They're clear that it can be a partner, a friend, or a parent, and that we all carry a little bit of ego, so the list is worth holding up to yourself too.

They close with strategies: say no early and see how the other person reacts, accept that you can't fix them, don't feed the beast, watch how someone treats people they don't need to impress, and be choosy about who gets your time.

Brooke and Danielle are not doctors or psychologists. This is a layman's conversation for education and entertainment purposes only, not a diagnosis of anyone.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why Taylor Swift's "Patient Zero" sparked this conversation
• The myth of Narcissus, Echo, and Nemesis, and where the word "narcissism" comes from
• Why we all have a little narcissism in us, and why this isn't about pointing fingers
• Love bombing: the charm and constant attention at the start
• Fast attachment, and how to tell a real soul connection from one you're being talked into
• Why drawing a boundary early is the best way to find out who someone is
• When compliments turn into digs, comparisons, and sarcasm
• Control over your money, your time, your friendships, and what you're allowed to be upset about
• Blame shifting, gaslighting, and why it can take so long to stop second-guessing yourself afterward
• Silence and withheld affection used as punishment
• The pull back in: apologies, gifts, and "I'm going to change" right as you start to heal
• Why the cycle repeats, and the saying that history doesn't repeat itself but it does rhyme
• Giving and receiving gentle feedback without getting defensive
• Don't feed the beast: why silence works when arguing never will
• Watching how someone treats waitstaff and anyone they don't need to impress
• Gossip, drama, and what the way someone talks about others tells you
• Turning the list on yourself, and why awareness is the first step

Mentioned in this episode:

• "Patient Zero" by Taylor Swift
• The myth of Narcissus and Echo from Ovid's Metamorphoses

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Only a few episodes are left in season one, with a special guest coming for the finale. Have an idea for season two? Email us!

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!

"Are you effing kidding me?" That's what Dr. Pamela Steele was thinking while she sat there politely smiling, because a man she'd just met for a drink and an appetizer had invited her to a nudist colony in France.

Danielle Griffiths and Brooke Benevento welcome Pamela back for part two, and the tone shifts from grief to the other half of her book, Nights of Hunger: A Cocktail of Grief, Dreams, and Dating for Old-Ass Women. After 39 years of marriage and the sudden loss of her husband Patrick, Pamela spent about 18 months feeling completely numb, wondering if she was capable of feeling anything ever again. Then one online acquaintance woke something up, and that's the reason the dating chapters exist at all.

They get into what online dating actually looks like now: profile photos taken in front of an absolute disaster, AI profiles and romance scams, men who send a heart instead of a sentence, and the weekend Pamela discovered someone was impersonating her on a dating site, then got banned for life with no explanation. She walks through her no-no list, including how a man treats waitstaff, politics, health, emotional intelligence, and honest communication, and makes the case that "be yourself" only works if you actually know yourself.

She also talks about the chapter she's still a little embarrassed by, the nine-page email from a man who felt his story wasn't long enough, the two-month relationship whose ending brought every earlier loss crashing back at once, and the Buddhist phrase that anchors the book: no mud, no lotus.

This is part two of two. Part one, on grief and learning to live again, is the previous episode.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why Pamela put the dating stories in a book about grief, and the man who proved she could still feel
• Eighteen months of numbness after Patrick died, and what finally broke through it
• The nudist colony invitation, and what was really going through her head behind the polite smile
• Why everyone in the book got a new name, and the friends who worked out who was who anyway
• How much dating has changed: landlines and meeting people at work versus apps, algorithms, and geolocation
• Spotting AI profiles and romance scams, and the man who assumed she'd ask him for money
• Getting banned for life from a dating site after someone impersonated her, with no reason ever given
• Pamela's no-no list: rudeness to waitstaff, political leaning, health, emotional intelligence, and honest communication
• Why "be yourself" doesn't work until you know yourself, and where boundaries come in
• Wanting a companion without being willing to settle for the wrong one
• Turning men into friends when the romance clearly isn't there
• "Michael the Northerner," chapter 13, and the courage and embarrassment of having been that honest
• The nine-page email from a man who thought his chapter was too short
• Compound grief: how a two-month relationship ending brought all her earlier losses back at once
• No mud, no lotus, and why distracting yourself from pain only delays the healing
• The geography of the heart: how pain stops filling all of it without ever leaving
• Navigating versus steering, and why two capable people have to take turns
• Why ghosting is worse than a straight "I don't think we're a match"

Mentioned in this episode:

• Nights of Hunger: A Cocktail of Grief, Dreams, and Dating for Old-Ass Women by Pamela Katims Steele
• Part one with Pamela, on grief and learning to live again (previous episode)
• "No mud, no lotus," the Buddhist phrase Pamela quotes early in the book
• Sex and the City and Carrie Bradshaw
• The Friends episode where Ross dates a woman with a disaster of an apartment
• A Dan Fogelberg lyric about taking turns to navigate and steer
• Green Lake in Seattle

Connect with Dr. Pamela Steele:

• Navigate Grief: navigategrief.net

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Missed part one? Go back an episode for Pamela's story of grief, dreams, and learning to live again.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!

"I will ask you to come and stand with me in my brother's driveway in Byron Bay, Australia." It's his 67th birthday, and instead of cake, Dr. Pamela Steele is waiting for the coroner to bring out his body. Her father had died two years earlier, her mother eleven months before. With her brother gone, she had lost her entire family of origin. Then, six years ago, on a trip to the Oregon coast for their 39th anniversary, her husband Patrick collapsed in the parking lot of their inn with cardiac arrest.

Danielle Griffiths and Brooke Benevento welcome Pamela, an educational psychologist who has written a book about grief, dreams, and dating after loss. Her career runs through the Peace Corps in Kenya, high school counseling, bank mergers and acquisitions, media, school district communications, and a Level 1 trauma center in Seattle. Today she does conflict resolution work, has volunteered on a crisis line, and is training to support survivors of domestic violence.

They talk about what happens when grief goes unexpressed. Pamela tells the story of praising herself for holding it together after her father died, then ending up in emergency surgery weeks later. They cover what not to say to someone who's grieving and what actually helps, like asking about the person who died, and the signs she believes Patrick still sends. She explains how thirty days of journal prompts, a dream journal, a spousal loss grief group, and her daughter telling her it was time to start dating turned into a book she never meant to write.

This is part one of two. Next week Pamela is back to talk about online dating.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Pamela's path through four industries, and why communication is the common thread
• Losing her father, mother, and brother within a few years, and then her husband of 39 years
• Why unexpressed grief and stress will show up in your body one way or another, now or later
• "Don't push the river": letting things unfold at their own pace and choosing how you respond
• Why you can't assume someone is okay because they look strong
• What to say and do for a friend who has lost their spouse: show up, get them outside, and bring food
• Why so many grieving people want you to say their loved one's name and ask about them
• How grief triggers hit without warning, like a baby watermelon in the produce aisle
• The signs Pamela believes Patrick still sends her, and why it's okay to talk about them
• Thirty prompts in thirty days: the journaling practice that became the start of a book
• Why laughter and tears belong together in grief, and why you shouldn't feel guilty for laughing
• Knowing when to get help, even when you "know this stuff"
• Deciding what to share with your grieving kids and what to take to a friend
• A daily check-in: one activity, one accomplishment, one kind of support, and one act of self-care
• Getting outside and changing your environment, and how discipline makes it easier over time
• How helping other people gave Pamela perspective

Mentioned in this episode:

• Dr. Pamela Steele's book on grief, dreams, and dating after loss
• Don't Push the River by Barry Stevens
• Steel Magnolias and its famous funeral scene
• Norah Jones, "Come Away With Me"
• Napoleon Hill's six basic fears, from earlier episodes
• Advance healthcare directives, health advocates, and getting your end-of-life paperwork in order
• Spousal loss grief groups and crisis lines

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Stay tuned for part two with Pamela next week, when the conversation turns to online dating.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!

"When I think of this powerful state, I know this is going to sound kind of silly, but it makes me think of being a child." Danielle Griffiths opens on elementary school — wanting to be an astronaut, wanting to be a cowgirl, and not a smidgen of doubt that it would happen. Which begs the question she and Brooke Benevento spend this episode on: how did we get so far away from that?

Brooke breaks down the two states. Primal state is stress, overwhelm, anger, jealousy, depression, boredom — the bottom of the emotional gas tank, where the nervous system is running fight, flight, and freeze. Powerful state is the top of it: flow, joy, curiosity, enthusiasm, and the one Brooke names as the biggest for her now — peace and calm about life. Things are always coming at us that we can't control. The question is only ever how you respond. It's the same thing Napoleon Hill, Abraham Hicks, and David Bayer are all pointing at, described differently because we all absorb things differently — and one day one of those descriptions clicks.

Danielle makes the case that the world has been in a primal state since 2020, and the two of them trace how it gets manufactured. Napoleon Hill's cycles of fear — the Great Depression and fear of poverty, war and fear of death, epidemics and fear of ill health, the crash of '08, COVID. News that has to sell fear to hold you. Breaking news that stopped being breaking news when it went 24/7. Then the flip side: comparison, and young people taught that someone else's success is subtraction from theirs, when there's plenty of everything for everyone.

The back half turns practical. Brooke and Seth's one foundational rule after going through the Think and Grow Rich Institute philosophy — if it isn't giving us peace, we get rid of it — and Danielle's challenge to take stock of what you're choosing that costs you yours. Then five practices to move up the scale, including the one Brooke's mentor gave her early on that she now passes to every client: life is not an emergency.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What primal state actually is — stress, overwhelm, anger, jealousy, depression, boredom — and where it sits on the emotional gas tank
• What powerful state feels like: flow, joy, curiosity, enthusiasm, and above all peace and calm
• Why we do need some fear, and where it stops being protection and starts being a cage
• Hell on earth vs. heaven on earth, and why Hill, Hicks, and David Bayer are describing the same thing
• The umbilical cord to source, and what kinks it — anger, jealousy, overwhelm, anxiety
• Why every tradition says be childlike, and what a child has that most adults lost
• Social heredity: the people who told you to be realistic, and why you don't announce your plan to them
• Napoleon Hill's cycles of fear, and how each era installs a new one
• Why positivity doesn't sell, and what it says about you when drama does
• The comparison trap — you're seeing a small glimpse of somebody's life and grading your own against it
• There's plenty of everything for everyone, so be happy when people succeed
• Good relationships take work, and why "there are no good ones anymore" isn't true
• Brooke and Seth's rule: if it isn't giving us peace, it goes
• Danielle's challenge — take stock of what you keep choosing that takes your peace
• Why it's okay to be bored, and Brooke's mentor on doing nothing still being doing something
• Practice one: limiting beliefs — what do I want, and do I believe I can have it?
• Practice two: support the nervous system and down-regulate, ideally without a screen
• Practice three: compulsive behavior — you can react with no intention, or pause and act with it
• Practice four: get into nature, because nothing out there is out of place
• Practice five: community — get off the screen and go have the coffee
• Courage isn't the absence of fear, and the moment you use it is the moment you cross into powerful state
• Why "the kingdom within you" isn't a religious claim so much as a reminder you were made with intention

Mentioned in this episode:

• David Bayer's framing of primal state and powerful state
• Napoleon Hill, and his cycles of fear and social heredity
• Abraham Hicks and the emotional scale
• The Think and Grow Rich Institute philosophy and coaching Brooke and Seth went through
• Satish Verma, Brooke's mentor — "life is not an emergency"
• The Schumann resonance and the idea of a connected human race
• The first four episodes of the podcast, which set the stage for all of this
• Danielle's sound bed, and using vibration to reset the nervous system
• Yoga, reading, sun on your face, and bare feet on grass
• Brooke's community of women, and the listener who asked her to coffee

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — every donation goes straight back into keeping the podcast going

Have a question, or want us to go deeper on this one? Reach out — Brooke and Danielle read every message, and they'd rather you bother them than not.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!

"In my superwoman mind, I don't need help. I can do everything myself." That's Danielle Griffiths opening this one, and the episode came straight out of a conversation she and Brooke Benevento had off-mic a couple of weeks ago — Danielle admitting she'd been putting her own goals on hold because she felt responsible for everyone in her orbit. Family, friends, co-workers, everyone. She was pouring out of an empty cup.

Brooke's advice was simple and it landed hard: change how things get done in the house, ask for help, and let your kids get ready for adulthood while they're still under your roof. The results showed up fast. Danielle texted Brooke a while later — for the first time, I don't feel overwhelmed, I don't know what happened. Brooke's answer: babe, you delegated. The room she'd been trying to finish for years is done, the chores are on the family calendar, and everyone does a couple of quick things before they relax so the evening actually belongs to them.

Brooke's been there too. She spent years resentful that nobody in her house was helping, wondering why nobody else could see what she saw. Then she put a checklist on the refrigerator, got everyone together, and said pick something and check it off. Her son thanked her — because now he knew what needed to be done. That was the aha: she hadn't been taking care of her kids, she'd been keeping them from becoming independent. Nobody innately knows how to clean a toilet or run a load of laundry. Somebody has to teach it.

From there they dig into why the ask is so hard. Danielle brought research: the superwoman myth that says the ideal woman handles everything without complaint or assistance (while CEOs have assistants); fear of judgment, where asking feels like confessing failure; and the burden of caregiving, where women are socialized as the support system and can't flip into needing support. Then the deeper layer — hyper-independence as a survival strategy from times when asking led to rejection, fear of being a burden, and anticipating that nobody will reciprocate. Plus the reframe that runs underneath the whole conversation: your family is a team, and everyone on it has something to put in.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why asking for help reads as weakness — and why doing it actually made Danielle feel stronger
• Pouring out of an empty cup, and why give-give-give stopped making sense to Brooke
• The checklist on the refrigerator, and her son's "thank you, now I know what needs to be done"
• Why we mistake doing everything for our kids for taking care of them
• Teaching independence on purpose — laundry, schedules, cleaning, and what happens the first time they run out of clean clothes
• The family as a team, not a hierarchy with mom at the bottom of it
• The superwoman myth: cultural conditioning that says handle it all without complaint or assistance
• Fear of judgment — why "oh no, I've got it" comes out of your mouth when you absolutely do not got it
• The burden of caregiving, and how hard it is to switch from support system to the one who needs support
• Hyper-independence as a trauma response, not a personality trait
• Fear of being a burden — and Brooke's reminder that good people want to help, and it makes them feel needed
• Anticipating lack of reciprocity, and the old disappointments your brain is still protecting you from
• The six fears from Outwitting the Devil, and why everyone is carrying at least one
• Living up to someone else's expectations means setting yourself aside — the question to ask instead
• Brooke's answer when her son asked if he'd vacuumed well enough: do YOU think you're done?
• Perfection is not excellence, and the to-do list that makes you feel like you failed a 14-hour day
• Action item one: name the fear — "I'm scared to ask because I was taught it's not safe"
• Action item two: start small — one person, one moment
• Action item three: listen to your nervous system, because fear and guilt and discomfort are normal
• Action item four: let yourself receive — practice "thank you, I really appreciate it" in the mirror
• Action item five: reframe it — not "I made a mistake" but "I learned a lesson"
• Danielle's body signals: the right eye twitch, the thumb, the clenched jaw she doesn't notice until she checks
• Give yourself the advice you'd give a friend bringing you the same problem
• Generational context: the 80s and 90s without the world's entertainment in your palm
• Why acts of service are attractive, and what kids learn watching both parents do the same work
• You can't catapult into your dream life without changing your habits — the humbling look in the mirror

Mentioned in this episode:

• Outwitting the Devil and its six fears — poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of love, old age, and death
• A Psychology Today piece by Tanya Lester on why women don't ask for help, and being taught to over-function and blame yourself
• The first four episodes of the podcast, which cover the four main elements of social heredity
• The nervous system awareness and reset course Danielle invested in last year
• Heart breathing, and body-scanning for hunched shoulders and a clenched jaw
• Shadow work, and imagining your problem brought to you by a friend
• Brooke's coaching for families who feel overwhelmed in their environment
• Danielle's work with people who feel overwhelmed by their finances
• Seth's Parmesan garlic chicken pasta — recipe possibly forthcoming in the comments

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — every donation goes straight back into keeping the podcast going

If you're overwhelmed and there's no one in your orbit you feel you can lean on, reach out to Brooke and Danielle — they read every email, and advice like this doesn't cost anything.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!

"Because somebody told me that I was depressed, I bought into it, I believed it." This one came straight from the inbox — a listener wrote in asking Brooke Benevento and Danielle Griffiths to talk about health anxiety and OCD, and what came out of it is an honest conversation about how much of what we're carrying started as something somebody else handed us.

Brooke opens with her own story: in her twenties, feeling off after having her kids, she told a doctor something wasn't right and walked out with a diagnosis and a prescription. Ten milligrams became twenty, then thirty, then forty, and she still wasn't happy. It took her mentor asking a blunt question — do you want to be depressed? then why are you telling yourself you are every single day? — to break it. She swapped the label for two words, I am, and started saying I am happy, I am joyful, I am peaceful. A year later she was off the medication entirely.

Danielle brings the other side, and she's firm about it: real illness is real, and you have to advocate for yourself. She spent six years being told there was nothing wrong with her shoulder, felt like she was losing her mind, and finally found the one doctor who believed her — a rare condition, an operation 48 hours later, and it was over. So the episode isn't "it's all in your head." It's about the difference between a symptom and a story you keep feeding.

From there: white coat syndrome and why we treat the coat as all-knowing; the parable of the two wolves and the grandfather's answer about which one wins; the red filter and the green filter between your conscious and subconscious mind; why Brooke stopped saying "do not fear" and started saying "I am at peace" instead; COVID as the moment fear got pumped into everyone's living room; and the search engines and algorithms that will happily sell you the disease you just Googled. Plus the reframe that lands hardest — anxiety and excitement feel identical in the body, and your racing heart might just be clapping for you.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Where the belief came from — the question Brooke asks before anything else
• White coat syndrome, and why authority in a lab coat reads as all-knowing
• Brooke's Prozac story: 10 to 20 to 30 to 40 milligrams, and still not happy
• "I am" as the two most powerful words you'll ever use — and why whatever follows becomes true
• Danielle's six years of being told nothing was wrong with her shoulder, and the one doctor who believed her
• Advocating for yourself when something really is wrong — this is not a "stop worrying" episode
• The two wolves, and the grandfather's answer: whichever one you feed
• The red filter and the green filter — how thoughts reach your subconscious mind
• Why your subconscious hands you back exactly what you hand it
• Why Brooke dropped "do not fear" for "I am at peace" — the mind skips the "not"
• Athletes and the mistake: don't think about what you don't want, walk toward what you do
• COVID, the news cycle, and the fear that got pumped into every living room
• Search your symptoms and the algorithm will sell you the diagnosis — WebMD, feeds, and targeted ads
• The yellow Camaro test, and why you suddenly see the thing you just thought about
• Managing your stress vs. managing your peace — the mentor's reframe
• If something in your life isn't bringing you peace, let it go, and watch what fills the space
• Letting go of the illness we've made part of our identity
• Five neurological symptoms anxiety can cause: muscle twitching, tingling and numbness, brain fog, dizziness and depersonalization, hypnic jerks
• Danielle's twitching right eye as an early-warning system for unmanaged stress
• Ten things people with anxiety secretly do — including Googling it twice and fishing for reassurance
• Canceling plans to avoid an episode, and the mental prison that builds
• Anxiety and excitement feel the same in the body — how to flip the word
• "When your heart races, you're clapping for yourself"
• Gratitude as the fastest exit from an anxious spiral
• Are you giving yourself excuses? Doing the thing you don't want to do builds the willpower

Mentioned in this episode:

• Cherelle on Instagram — the health anxiety account the listener pointed them to
• Dr. Julia on Instagram — the nervous system reset program Danielle credits with getting her through
• Peace and Prosperity Institute, where Brooke teaches the conscious/subconscious filter work
• 2 Timothy 1:7 — "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind"
• The parable of the two wolves
• The earlier episodes on social heredity and on what your algorithm says about you
• Writing your thoughts down, monthly, as a way to check your own drift

Brooke and Danielle are not doctors, and they say so up front. This episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only — nothing here is a diagnosis or medical advice, and no one should start or stop a medication based on it. If you're struggling, talk to a professional you trust, and keep advocating for yourself.

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — every donation goes straight back into keeping the podcast going

This one came from a listener who wrote in. If there's something you want Brooke and Danielle to take on, email us — they read everything.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!

"It really begs the question — do we have a health care system, or do we have a sick care system?" Danielle Griffiths and Brooke Benevento open with a number that stops the conversation cold: American adult obesity has gone from roughly 3–4% to over 40% as of 2023, according to the CDC. Then they go looking for how we got here.

Danielle takes the history — the 1910 Flexner Report, funded by the Rockefeller and Carnegie foundations, that rewrote medical school curriculum and pushed nutrition and holistic medicine to the margins; the post-WWII shift to preserved, packaged, convenient food; the government's own guidance moving from the Basic Seven to the food wheel to the 1992 food pyramid that put 40% breads and grains at the bottom and taught a whole generation that all fat was bad. Her take on why: they decided Americans were too dumb to tell a good fat from a bad one, so they just made them all bad.

Brooke brings it back to the kitchen table. She and Danielle compare American and UK ingredient labels for the same six products — ketchup, Mountain Dew, oatmeal, Doritos, Cadbury eggs, Sunny D — and the UK lists are routinely less than half as long. Potassium bromate, BHA, brominated vegetable oil, artificial dyes: allowed here, banned or warning-labeled there. Brooke's husband and son came home from a week in Italy five pounds lighter each, eating pizza the whole time.

It's not all doom. The back half is practical: the free Yuka app that scans a label, scores it, and suggests something better; reading your own pantry; sweating on purpose; washing your produce; and the small-change philosophy both hosts keep coming back to — there's better, there's best, and there's okay, and if you're in the okay, just choose a little bit better. Plus Danielle answers the question listeners kept emailing about: yes, the room is finished.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Health care or sick care — the question the whole episode hangs on
• The 1910 Flexner Report, its Rockefeller and Carnegie funding, and what happened to nutrition education
• $80 a month for a family health plan 22 years ago vs. $2,100 a month with a $13,000 deductible today
• Why "I'm healthy, this doesn't affect me" doesn't hold up — Brooke on thinking as a collective
• How WWII preservation tech, shifting households, and TV advertising remade the American diet
• The U.S. as one of the only countries that allows pharmaceutical ads on television
• PFAS "forever chemicals," 3M, DuPont, and Teflon
• Potassium bromate, BHA, brominated vegetable oil, artificial dyes: allowed here, banned in Europe
• Side-by-side US vs. UK labels on six identical products — and why one list is twice as long
• Basic Seven → food wheel → the 1992 food pyramid, and the "all fat is bad" era
• High-fructose corn syrup, and why the hosts treat it as a hard no
• The food lobby's roughly $200 million in the 2020 election cycle
• Danielle on WIC, ten bottles of juice a month, and raising one kid on juice and the next on water
• Talk policies, not parties — Brooke and Danielle on keeping the food conversation out of the tribal fight
• Yuka: scan a label, get a score out of 100, see the additives, get a better option
• The salad that turned out to be 1,000 calories — 700 of them dressing
• Why sugar, fat, flavor enhancers, and engineered texture are built to be hard to stop eating
• The five-ingredient rule and the "is this real food?" gut check
• Sweat as a daily detox — 10 burpees, a fast walk, chasing your kids
• Better, best, and okay: micro-changes over overhauls, and giving yourself grace
• "The way to love yourself is to take care of yourself"

Mentioned in this episode:

• The Yuka app (free, iOS and Android) — scans food, cosmetics, and personal care products
• The Flexner Report (1910), funded by the Rockefeller and Carnegie foundations
• Wilbur Atwater and the origins of the calorie
• Steel Pulse, "Wild Goose Chase" — the 1984 reggae track Danielle's husband pointed her to
• Formless Beauty by Jenny McCarthy — Brooke's additive-free mascara
• Burn Boot Camp — where Brooke is chasing 250 workouts this year
• The Presidential Fitness Test, its replacement under the Obama administration, and its 2025 reinstatement
• The earlier episodes on social heredity and family dynamics
• Episode 20 and the unfinished room — officially finished

The hosts share their own research and opinions here, including some contested claims about food, health, and government policy. This episode is for entertainment and awareness purposes only and is not medical advice — talk to your own doctor before making changes.

Connect with us:

• Instagram: @the.missing.peace.pod
• TikTok: @the.missing.peace8
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show:

• Venmo: @DanielleGriffiths78 — every donation goes straight back into keeping the podcast going

Got a topic you want us to go deeper on, or an expert you'd like us to bring on? Email us — Brooke and Danielle read everything.

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who needs to hear it!