Why does doing nothing feel so wrong?

Ever sat down to rest, only for your mind to tell you that you should be doing something else? In this monthly segment, Trap Talk, we're exploring one of the mind's most powerful habits: comparison. It's an innocent mechanism. Our minds constantly compare, measure and evaluate. Once essential for survival, it now has us comparing ourselves to everyone else's lives, achievements and productivity. No wonder doing nothing can feel so wrong. But what if there's nothing wrong with you? What if it's simply the mind doing what minds do? Understanding that changes everything.

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"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

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Self-harm can be one of the most frightening and confusing experiences for a parent, family member, or anyone supporting someone they love. In this episode, I'm joined by teen coach Clare Assante, founder of Blindsided by Thoughts. Clare and I completed our Change Coach training together, and together we explore self-harm through a compassionate and understanding lens. Rather than focusing solely on the behaviour, we look at what's happening beneath the surface and why understanding can change the way we respond. Our hope is that this conversation helps you feel calmer, clearer, and more confident in supporting someone who is struggling.

Please note: If you or someone you know is at immediate risk, or you're concerned about their safety, this episode should sit alongside appropriate professional support, not replace it. Please contact your GP, your local mental health crisis team, or your emergency services, depending on the urgency of the situation

👉 Course:-Understanding What's Behind Self Harm https://blindsided-by-thought.thinkific.com/courses/Understanding-self-harm

👉 Check Out Clare's Website https://blindsidedbythought.com/

👉 Follow Clare on Instagram ://www.instagram.com/clare.assante?utm_source=qr

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"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One broken cat flap. One very suspicious cat. And somehow, my mind had me cancelling our summer holiday.

In this episode, I share how one small moment sent my thinking miles ahead of what was actually happening—and straight into the Thought Trap. Because the thought train is how we get there. The trap is believing the destination is reality.

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👉 Find out about HOME, my 1:1 supported space https://www.beccagardner.com/new-page-2

👉Follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/beccagardnercoach/

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I recently came across a poem I'd written years ago, and it reminded me of the quiet agreement I used to have with life: I'll be okay when... In this episode, I explore why so many of us live that way and the freedom I've found in seeing it differently.

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👉 Find out about HOME, my 1:1 supported space https://www.beccagardner.com/new-page-2

👉Follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/beccagardnercoach/

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever noticed that whatever you're feeling, your mind immediately points towards the opposite? When we're lonely, it promises connection. When we're uncertain, it longs for certainty. When we're overwhelmed, it paints a picture of an easier life. What if this isn't a problem to fix, but simply the way a survival mind works?

In this episode, I shares a personal story from her experience with panic attacks and introduces a simple metaphor that's become central to her understanding: the back door. What if we've been innocently walking away from ourselves... without ever realising it? A gentle conversation about feelings, survival, and what it really means to come HOME.

👉Ask me a Question [email protected]

👉Mailing List https://www.beccagardner.com/

👉 Find out about HOME, my 1:1 supported space https://www.beccagardner.com/new-page-2

👉Follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/beccagardnercoach/

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Trap Talk question comes from a mum of three who says:

"Parenting mainly falls on my shoulders because my husband works a lot, and we've kind of agreed that what I say goes. But honestly, that feels like a huge responsibility. I constantly feel like I need to say the right thing and do the right thing, and with my older two children I feel like we're forever coming to blows. I spend so much time worrying about whether I'm getting it right and trying to work out the best way to handle things.

I've listened to The Thought Trap from the beginning, and I'm getting a real feel for how we work as human beings, but I'm struggling to see how any of this applies to parenting. In a world full of parenting books, experts and advice, how do I know what to do? And how do I stop carrying the weight of feeling responsible for everyone being okay?"

Listen to the episode to see how I speak to this......

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👉 Find out about HOME, my 1:1 space https://www.beccagardner.com/new-page-2

👉Follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/beccagardnercoach/

👉Ask me a Question [email protected]

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all have ideas about who we are. "I'm just the way I am." "I've always been like this." "It's in my makeup." But where did those ideas come from in the first place? In this episode of The Thought Trap, I explore how the stories we hold about ourselves are often built from experiences, comments, interpretations and repeated thoughts that, over time, begin to feel like facts.

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👉Episode 47 (Apple)://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-47-the-emotional-identity-trap-the-thought-trap/id1801723772?i=1000752964486

👉Episode 47 (Spotify) https://open.spotify.com/episode/1HUdrmDPqLqgMs2Jrob7il?si=3db1da3408244555

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today episode, I want to talk about what was probably my biggest coping mechanism for many years: reassurance. But while reassurance happened to be mine, this episode isn't really about reassurance. It's about coping mechanisms in general. The things we reach for when we don't feel okay. The things that seem to help, at least for a while. The things that promise relief, comfort, certainty, or distraction. Because whether it's reassurance, Googling, scrolling, keeping busy, planning, checking, avoiding, eating, drinking, or endlessly trying to work something out, most of us have something we turn to when life feels uncomfortable. And understanding what was really happening beneath my coping mechanism changed everything for me and those that I work with.

👉Join my mailing list 👉https://www.beccagardner.com/free-audio

👉 Find out about HOME, my 1:1 space https://www.beccagardner.com/new-page-2

👉Follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/beccagardnercoach/

👉Ask me a Question [email protected]

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the thing we're searching for isn't more structure, but something we've known all along? In this solo episode, I explore the difference between routine and rhythm, and what happens when we start paying attention to own rhythms :)

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👉Mailing List https://www.beccagardner.com/

👉 Find out about HOME, my 1:1 supported space https://www.beccagardner.com/new-page-2

👉Follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/beccagardnercoach/

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the monthly segment "Trap Talk".......where I get to speak to your questions.

"I’ve realised I spend so much of my life worrying about what other people think of me. I replay conversations, second guess myself afterwards, and sometimes stop myself doing things because I’m so caught up in how I might come across. I honestly think it’s holding me back".

In this episode, we explore the stories the mind creates about how we’re seen by others, the separate little “bubbles” we all live in as humans, and why so much of the feeling of being judged is actually being created through our own internal experience in the moment.

👉Ask me a Question [email protected]

👉Mailing List https://www.beccagardner.com/

👉 Find out about HOME, my 1:1 supported space https://www.beccagardner.com/new-page-2

👉Follow me on instagram https://www.instagram.com/beccagardnercoach/

"The Thought Trap — a space for quieting the busy brain, turning down the noisy chatter, and stepping more fully into life"

Disclaimer:

As a Certified Change Coach trained by Dr. Amy Johnson, PhD, and a member of the Association of Coaching, I approach wellbeing from a holistic perspective. Coaching can be incredibly powerful and life-changing, but it is not a substitute for counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed medical professional, and the information shared in this podcast is based on my coaching training, lived experience, and work in my private practice, The Missing Peace. Nothing shared is intended as advice or a replacement for professional care. Please take what resonates, leave the rest, and always seek support from a licensed medical or mental health professional for any psychological or physical health concerns

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.