In this episode, I speak to a question from a listener who says she chooses romantic partners who are not right for her because – in her words – they make her feel more worthy. 

I talk her through some of the ways she can examine this pattern in depth, noticing the beliefs behind her behaviors, so she can see this with more objectivity and ultimately so it can change.

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27. 

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat is small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at dramyjohnson.com/newmexico

The post EP387: Choosing the wrong relationships: A question from a listener appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

There’s a progression that seems to happen. You might say it’s from gross to subtle.

Where attention shifts from being absorbed in abstractions, thoughts, representations, and relationships…to attention moving to much more subtle energies like sensations, sensory input, and maybe something like intuition or perception.

Identity is viewed in these different ways. From gross thought and beliefs being questioned, to more subtle physical and emotional reactions felt. 

As we sense at this more subtle level, the unraveling process seems to pick up some steam. Identity is seen through rapidly. Thoughts barely arise before they dissolve or fall away. 

Something like this is how the fabric of thought-based reality comes apart in the best possible way. 

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27. 

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat is small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at https://dramyjohnson.com/silent-retreats-2026/

The post EP386: Special Rebroadcast: Unraveling Ego at the Feeling Level appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

Being in silence is not about suppressing anything. 

It’s also not about creating anything, such as an environment of peace or thoughtlessness or anything like that. 

It’s the exact opposite, actually. It’s about leaving everything alone to simply be exactly what it is.

“What it is” is constantly changing. It is totally unknowable. It’s far too fluid to be known.  

In silence, the self-ing process is more clearly seen. It’s like seeing how a magic trick is done; you can’t be fooled in quite the same way once it is seen. 

In that silence, the inherently safety in experience becomes obvious. The concept of safety is not even relevant there.  

Consider steeping in this deep knowing in 5 days of silence with us in February. It would be an amazing way to start the new year. For better or worse, whatever comes and goes, things will not look the same afterward. 

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27. 

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat is small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at dramyjohnson.com/newmexico/

The post EP385: Special Rebroadcast: Noise is Silence Shouting appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

What if 95% of attention and energy went toward sensing, feeling, and intuition, and 5% went toward the use of thought?

That ratio is typically reversed. 

I’ll explore this with regard to being with trauma, brainstorming and problem solving, and self inquiry.

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27. 

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat is small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at dramyjohnson.com/newmexico

The post EP384: 95/5 appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

In this episode, we’ll explore how to end habitual psychological patterns such as reactivity, shutting down, becoming controlling or hypervigilant, or eating or drinking. 

The way to end a pattern – very oversimplified – is to become deeply familiar with the elements of the pattern and stay open, rather than react, when the pattern begins. 

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27. 

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat is small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at dramyjohnson.com/newmexico

The post EP383: Staying open appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

Emma believes that she is unacceptable if her weight goes above a particular threshold. 

This belief is behind 45 years of restrictive and binge eating. 

Emma is onto the fact that this is a belief, but that doesn’t feel like enough. If she doesn’t have the ability to simply stop believing this thought, what can she do? 

I’ll discuss how Emma can investigate her beliefs in a way that can help her gain some perspective on – and freedom from– them.

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27.  

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat is small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at dramyjohnson.com/newmexico

The post EP382: I’m not acceptable unless I’m thin. Questions from a listener with a 45 year history of disordered eating. appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

Emma believes that she is unacceptable if her weight goes above a particular threshold.  This belief is behind 45 years of restrictive and binge eating. Emma is onto the fact that this is a belief, but that doesn’t feel like enough. If she doesn’t have the ability to simply stop believing this thought, what can she

The post EP382: I’m not acceptable unless I’m thin. Questions from a listener with a 45 year history or disordered eating. appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

 There’s an extremely important distinction to be made when it comes to where and how attention falls.

It’s the difference between attention being on something versus absorbed in it. 

Attention on the fact of thought is completely different from attention being absorbed in the content of thought.

Attention on sensation or pain or the sense of self is completely different from attention absorbed in them.

The difference is perspective and ultimately freedom.

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27, 2026.

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat will be small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at dramyjohnson.com/silentretreat/

The post EP381: Attention On versus Attention In  appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

“Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news” – Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Chaos seems unwanted and perhaps terrifying to a mind that’s always trying to hold things together.

But in Greek mythology, Chaos is viewed as a primordial void or emptiness from which all else emerges. 

It’s the source of everything. Chaos, emptiness, void…source, aliveness, new life. It was not viewed as a lack of existence or total disorder, but the birthplace and source of everything.

Maybe it really is extremely good news? 

***

I will be leading a Silent Retreat in Taos, New Mexico, February 22-27, 2026.

The retreat will provide a supportive space for you to steep in your essential being. You’ll immerse in what’s always here, unchanging, beyond the pull of thoughts, feelings and identities, in the absence of everyday distractions and conditioning.

The retreat will be small, so space is limited. You can check out all the details at dramyjohnson.com/silentretreat/

The post EP380: Chaos is extremely good news appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.

There seems to be an innate intelligence that guides us when we deeply feel what is present.

An intelligence emerges from simply being in what is without resistance. This intelligence is often less about firm conclusions and more about doing what feels most right right now. It’s less about security in a vision for the future and more about sensing immediate right action right now.

Feeling reveals what there is to see. It contains pure possibility and potential. Thought can only negotiate based on the past, operating in what is already known. That’s the opposite of potential and possibility. 

***

Join me for a live, free, 2-hour class: The Silence at the Heart of Everything: Rediscovering What Never Changes on Monday, November 10th

In the class I’ll talk about the silence and stillness at the center of all things as well as several common benefits of prolonged time in silence. 

I’ll also tell you a bit about my upcoming Silent Retreats and answer your questions. Then we’ll have a quick break and an optional 30 minute guided-meditation-turned-silent-sitting together to give you a tiny taste of what’s possible. 

Register for the live class at dramyjohnson.com/silenceclass

The post EP379: The Intelligence in feeling appeared first on Dr. Amy Johnson.