The Momma’s Lounge with Camille Perkins

How do you keep your marriage strong when you're navigating the beautiful, exhausting chaos of raising little ones?

In this final chapter of our interview with Addy, we chat about adjusting to parenthood as a couple. Whether you and your partner work completely opposite schedules like Addy and Brandon, or you are together 24/7 working remotely like Drew and me, it is entirely possible to avoid "roommate syndrome" and intentionally reconnect.

We share our favorite low-cost date night ideas, the importance of raw communication (yes, even talking to your husband about milk blebs), and why stepping back to let dads find their own parenting rhythm is helpful for building a solid team.

We also open up about the spiritual transformation of motherhood and how being "sufficiently overwhelmed" allows us to sufficiently rely on the Savior.

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

Beating Roommate Syndrome: Practical ways to prioritize connection when your spouse works long hours or is in school, and how to define "us time" after the kids are in bed.

Redefining Date Night: Why you don't need to spend money to date your spouse. We discuss walking to the mailbox and using the "We're Not Really Strangers" game to update your "love maps" and rediscover who your partner is becoming.

Becoming a Parenting Team: How to handle mom guilt and overstimulation by letting your husband step in, and why it's vital to let dads parent their own way without micromanaging.

The Spiritual Shift of Motherhood: Viewing our toddlers as perfect children of God who are just learning, and how relying on Jesus Christ and the Atonement transforms our daily frustrations into moments of grace.

Resources & Links Mentioned:

Want my exclusive Postpartum Resource List? I recently curated a list of postpartum resources for a friend and want to share it with you! Send me a DM on Instagram, shoot me an email, or text me directly to get the link.

Check out the general postpartum support links in my Linktree, https://linktr.ee/themommaslounge

We're Not Really Strangers (Couples/Relationship Edition) – The game Drew and I played in the backyard for a free, deep-connection date night!

Connect with Addy:

Instagram: @learnwithaddy

Podcast: Listen to Learning From Our Mistakes Pod wherever you get your podcasts.

Connect with The Momma's Lounge:

If you loved this 3-part series, please share this episode with a friend and leave us a review!

Send an email at [email protected]

Weekly Challenge: Think of a fellow momma right now, send her a text, tell her you love her, and ask how you can help her this week!

I am back with Chapter 2 of my conversation with Addy! Addy and I dive right into adjusting to motherhood—specifically, the mental and physical transition of having two under two.

Going from one child to two is a completely different ballgame, and Addy opens up about the feelings of being “outnumbered,” the mental battles of the early postpartum weeks, and how she learned to navigate the chaos.

We talk about the stigma around asking for help, how to have compassion for moms who are genuinely not loving motherhood right now, and the reality of postpartum recovery. Whether you’re currently in the thick of it, pregnant with your second, or just need to hear that you aren't alone, this episode is a reminder that you can do this.

Key Takeaways & Topics Covered:

The Reality of Two Under Two: Addy shares her honest experience adjusting to life with two littles, and how to survive when you feel outnumbered.

The Power of Asking for Help: Why it is so hard for mothers to ask for help, how to accept it even if you are feeling like a burden, and a sneak peek at a new planner I am working on to help moms coordinate their support village!

Compassion for the Struggle: Discussing the Reddit threads of moms who hate motherhood—how we can create safe, non-judgmental spaces for moms to vent and feel appreciated for their thankless work.

Taking Care of Your Body Postpartum: Rejecting the toxic "bounce back" culture. Addy and I share what we are actually doing to move our bodies in a healthy way (from her morning walks and yoga to my return to the swimming pool).

Dividing Your Attention: Realizing that the way you parented your first child won't be the same way you parent your second—and why it’s okay if one baby has to cry for a minute while you help the other.

A Word of Encouragement: Addy’s heartfelt advice to moms who are currently pregnant with their second baby and feeling terrified.

Quotes to Remember:

"It’s okay to get help. It takes you out of isolation, you get restful time, and you become a better mother."

"You are only one person. You can do the best you can, but you can't expect yourself to duplicate."

"Just as we want to go serve people, we need to help others have the opportunity to serve."

Connect With Me:

Listen to Chapter 1:

https://youtu.be/X04Gz4rMG2A?si=6gAUM__HsMppj2cL

Follow on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/themommaslounge/ @themommaslounge

Share Your Story: Are you a mom who has struggled to love motherhood? I would love to talk to you and understand your experience better. I want to create a safe space to talk about it on the podcast, so please send me a message!

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating and review! It helps other mamas find the community here at The Momma's Lounge.

Welcome to Chapter 1 of our three-part interview series with Addy! In this episode of The Momma’s Lounge, Addy opens up about her two wildly different birth stories—welcoming her daughter Eliza and her son Joshua just 13 months apart.

We discuss the challenges of being pressured into an early induction for high blood pressure, the physical and emotional realities of pushing for three hours versus seven minutes, and how holistic approaches (like acupuncture and "witches brew") played a massive role in her second labor. We also touch on the power of placenta encapsulation for postpartum mental health and finding time for your own hobbies while raising babies.

In This Episode, We Cover:

03:05 Intro & catching up: Navigating 2 under 2 while balancing a husband in full-time work and school.

05:00 Entering the "Grandma Era": Finding yourself in motherhood through crafting, audiobooks, and taking mental breaks.

08:10 Eliza’s Birth Story: White coat syndrome, advocating for yourself during a frustrating 37-week induction, and surviving a 3-hour pushing marathon.

14:30 Joshua’s Birth Story: Prodromal labor, maternal acupuncture, the "witches brew," and a lightning-fast 7-minute delivery!

18:45 Postpartum Healing: Why Addy swears by placenta encapsulation for stabilizing hormones and avoiding the baby blues.

24:20 Preparing for next week: A sneak peek into Chapter 2 (adjusting to two under two and avoiding roommate syndrome in your marriage).

Links & Resources Mentioned:

Follow Addy on Instagram: @LearnWithAddy for practical mom tips and easy meals.

Listen to Addy’s Podcast: Learning From Our Mistakes Pod (Available wherever you listen to podcasts!)

Book Recommendation: Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross

Doula Shoutout: Rachel Fike (If you are in the Wyoming area and looking for an incredible doula, email us at [email protected] to get connected!)

Connect With Us! If you thought of a momma while you were listening today, go ahead and give her a text to tell her you've been thinking of her.

Don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel, or click follow on your favorite podcast platform so you don't miss Chapter 2 next week!

Follow along on Instagram: @TheMommasLounge

In the final chapter of Naomi’s interview, we tackle the reality of navigating gender roles in modern parenting. We discuss the transition from working full-time to having a parent stay home, the challenges of maintaining an equitable partnership during the newborn phase, and why flexibility will always beat out rigid expectations. We wrap up our conversation by sharing the spiritual insights that have anchored us postpartum, exploring how raising kind children brings peace to a chaotic world, and how small, intentional moments of prayer can transform your daily mothering.

Key Takeaways

The Reality of Equal Partnership: Why equal partnership in a marriage doesn't always mean the division of labor looks exactly the same, especially when navigating breastfeeding and newborn sleep.

Flexibility Over Rigidity: The danger of trying to rigidly adhere to societal ideals of "equality" rather than doing what actually brings happiness and connection to your specific family.

Societal Structures: An honest look at how modern work culture and insurance needs restrict parents from finding ideal work-life balances, like a 20/20 hour work split.

Finding Peace in a Chaotic World: How focusing on the direct influence we have over our babies—teaching them to be kind, loving, and generous—can combat postpartum anxieties about the state of the world.

Inviting God into Motherhood: Practical ways to be intentional with daily prayer, including using simple, everyday moments to model faith for toddlers.

Memorable Quotes

"There's a point where we benefit from an equal partnership in the sense that we look the same. But then there are also gender roles that we benefit from being equal, but looking different."

"What's important is, are you happy as a family? Are you both getting a relationship with your kid? Are you getting a relationship with each other?"

"I just marvel at the influence we have over our babies... teaching them to be kind, respectful, and generous is directly making the world a better place."

00:18 Gender Roles Setup

00:37 Struggles with Night Feeds And Fairness

03:05 Rigid Versus Flexible Roles

04:19 The Dream Work/Life Balance

05:31 Keep Renegotiating Together

06:37 What Works In Real Life

07:38 Spiritual Peace Postpartum

09:16 Intentional Prayer With Kids

10:25 Thanks And Next Episodes

Coming Up Next

In October, Addi Ruiz joins the lounge! We will be diving into the reality of raising two children under two and sharing practical advice on how to stay close as a couple when you are drowning in work, school, and childcare. Addi’s interview will be released in chapters every Friday throughout the month.

Welcome back to The Momma's Lounge for Part 3 of my conversation with Naomi! Today, we're breaking down a topic that catches many couples off guard and often goes unaddressed: paternal perinatal anxiety (PPA). We shift the spotlight to the very real mental health shifts fathers go through, as Naomi opens up about her husband Cameron’s intense worry—from Titanic-induced stress right before her water broke to those first sleepless nights.

I also share my own vulnerable 32-hour marathon birth story, detailing how my husband, Drew, reached a breaking point under the heavy weight of providing for a new family, only to face a dismissive hospital social worker when we tried to seek support. Together, we discuss our partners' battles with panic attacks, validate the overlooked struggles fathers face, and share where to find resources. Tune in to learn how couples can support each other through the unpredictable postpartum trenches, and remember that you are absolutely not alone in this journey.

(Stay tuned: In a few days, we will release Part 4, where we discuss the complex challenge of navigating gender roles in modern parenting and the spiritual insights that have brought us peace!)

Chronological Audio Markers

00:37 Welcome back! Introducing the unexpected reality of husbands getting postpartum anxiety.

01:05 Transitioning to fatherhood: What Cameron’s PPA looked like

05:00 Naomi’s reaction to her husband's Anxiety

06:57 The statistics: Exploring the reality that 10% of husbands experience perinatal depression alongside their wives.

08:06 Camille’s birth story: A 40-week induction, epidural stalls, and 3-hours of pushing during an all-nighter.

14:00 Anxiety from pulling a 32+ hour wake window & Drew’s postpartum panic: Facing job uncertainty, housing loss, and the dismissal of a hospital social worker.

16:30 The postpartum duality: Experiencing overwhelming anxiety and profound love at the exact same time.

17:10 Mental health resources for dads and a sneak peek into Chapter 4.

Resources Mentioned

Postpartum Support International (PSI): postpartum.net

Welcome back to The Mommas Lounge! In Chapter 2 of our interview with Naomi, we dive deep into a heavy feeling almost every mother carries: mom guilt. Whether it's the guilt of wanting a date night away from your toddler, trying to balance personal goals like exercising, or simply bumping your newborn's head, we've all been there.

Join us as we share our own vulnerable (and sometimes hilarious) stories, break down why mom guilt happens, and discuss practical, psychological tools to help you finally give yourself a break.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome Back and Water Break

00:14 Mom Guilt Stories

01:38 Work and Mom Identity

03:20 The 5 Things Babies Really Need

04:27 Self Care and Relationships

06:35 Sleep Routines and Partner Bonding

08:18 Tools to Manage Mom Guilt

10:41 Wrap Up and Next Chapter

Key Takeaways & Topics Discussed

The Unwinnable Game: Why mothers often feel trapped feeling guilty for wanting time away, and then guilty for actually taking that time for date nights or work.

The 5 Basics of Baby Care: A postpartum nurse's grounding advice to remind you that if your baby's core needs are met, you are already doing a great job.

When Guilt Holds You Back: How feeling bad about prioritizing your physical health (like a morning yoga session) or letting your partner handle bedtime can actually hinder your family's growth.

Practical Tools to Fight Guilt: How using mindfulness helps you accept—rather than judge—your feelings in the moment.

The "Partner Flip" Test: A brilliant trick for neutralizing irrational guilt by saying your thoughts out loud and asking, "Would I judge my husband for doing this?"

Next Week on The Mommas Lounge Make sure to tune in next Friday for Chapter 3! We are shifting the conversation to discuss perinatal and postpartum anxiety experienced by fathers, sharing stories of the anxiety our own husbands faced during our pre and postpartum journeys.

Welcome back to Season 2 of The Momma's Lounge!

We are kicking off this season with a brand-new format designed specifically for busy moms: shorter, bite-sized chapters released every Friday. You now have a whole week to listen to a 20-minute episode, guilt-free!

In Chapter 1 of our first interview, I sit down with my BYU friend and fellow mom, Naomi. Naomi opens up about her birth story, navigating placenta previa, and the moment at her 20-week anatomy scan when she learned she would be having a clubfoot baby.

Naomi shares the emotional highs and lows of Lucy’s treatment journey at Shriners Children's Hospital, from the initial casting to the boots and bars phase. We get incredibly real about the crushing weight of mom guilt that comes when we accidentally cause our babies discomfort while trying to care for them. Finally, as an LDS mom podcast, we touch on the beautiful peace that comes from relying on Jesus Christ, knowing that He perfectly understands our children's pain and can carry the burdens we aren't meant to hold alone.

In this chapter, we cover:

00:00 - Welcome to Season 2! Why we are switching to a bite-sized chapter format.

02:15 - Introducing Naomi: Marriage & Family studies, adjunct teaching, and romanticizing the present phase of motherhood.

05:30 - Naomi’s birth story: Due dates, Pitocin, epidural delays, and a surprise arrival.

10:45 - The 20-week anatomy scan: Receiving the clubfoot diagnosis and finding hope.

15:00 - Treatment at Shriners: Casts, boots, and the intense reality of mom guilt.

18:20 - Finding Grace: Leaning on the Savior when motherhood feels impossible.

Connect with The Momma’s Lounge:

Instagram: @TheMommasLounge

Email: [email protected] (Reach out if you’d love to be interviewed on the show!)

Tune in next Friday for Chapter 2 of Naomi's interview, where we dive even deeper into navigating mom guilt!

This is my last episode for season 1! I have LOVED doing this season and can't wait to give you guys more this coming August!

In today's episode, I discuss my experience with Janie's allergies, dealing with gaslighting from a pediatrician, and the importance of trusting a mother's instinct. I share our journey from discovering unusual symptoms in Janie's diapers to finally identifying her milk sensitivity after numerous doctor visits. This episode emphasizes the significance of maternal intuition and persistent advocacy for your child's health. Also, I share my plans for the upcoming season, including pre-producing episodes, scheduling interviews, and creating better quality content. I end with a heartfelt message about the divine nature of motherhood and being wise stewards of our families. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Stay tuned for more in August!

00:00 Introduction and Gaslighting Experience

00:51 Podcast Season Finale Announcement

01:26 Plans for Improving Podcast Quality

02:43 Introduction to Janie's Allergy Story

03:44 The 21 Pilots Concert Incident

05:52 First Signs of Allergy Symptoms

09:17 Struggles with Medical Professionals

13:11 Deciding to Seek Further Medical Help

17:26 Dietary Changes and Challenges

18:03 First Doctor Visit and Initial Results

19:45 Second Doctor Visit and New Insights

21:38 Confirming Milk Sensitivity

23:36 Managing Milk Sensitivity and Introducing Milk

25:29 Reflections and Lessons Learned

26:30 Season Finale and Future Plans

29:24 Spiritual Reflections and Closing Thoughts

Navigating My Postpartum Anxiety and Healing

In this episode, I share my personal journey with postpartum anxiety, detailing how it began even before my pregnancy. I discuss the lessons I've learned and offer insights to help you better understand postpartum anxiety, along with practical tips for managing it. I also continue from last week's episode, describing my experience with a painful nursing-related injury and the methods I used for healing. I wrap up with a spiritual message intended to help those dealing with anxiety or other struggles, highlighting the importance of seeking support and utilizing simple practices like prayer, moving your body, and spending time outdoors.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:22 Continuing Last Week's Nursing Struggles

02:14 Dealing with a Painful Nursing Injury

02:55 Seeking Medical Help and Self-Care

05:22 Effective Home Remedies for Nursing Wounds

09:36 Transition to Postpartum Anxiety

10:58 Experiencing Anxiety Before Pregnancy

19:04 Anxiety During Pregnancy

24:21 Coping with Prenatal Anxiety

27:24 Postpartum Care Routine

28:10 Postpartum Healing Routine

30:25 Dealing with Birth Flashbacks

34:37 Struggles with Asking for Help

36:01 New Parent Anxieties

40:07 Managing Postpartum Anxiety

43:29 Seeking Therapy and Support

45:55 Mindfulness and Chronic Pain

48:20 The Importance of Routine Help

50:38 Simple Steps for Postpartum Recovery

55:39 Spiritual Guidance and Final Thoughts

Navigating Postpartum Nursing: My Personal Journey, Challenges, and Tips

In this episode of The Mama's Lounge, I diverge from my usual interview format to share my personal postpartum experiences, specifically focusing on the intricacies of nursing. Highlighting the steep learning curve involved, I provide a candid account of my journey, from initial challenges in the hospital to dealing with tongue ties, milk blebs, and even a nursing strike when my baby was 11 months old. I discuss the importance of proper support, such as lactation consultants, and tools like the right nipple shields and silverettes. This episode aims to provide emotional support and practical tips for new moms facing similar nursing hurdles, while emphasizing the importance of patience and perseverance.

00:00 Welcome to The Mama's Lounge

00:04 Introduction to Postpartum Series

00:43 Nursing: The Biggest Learning Curve

02:13 My Nursing Story Begins

03:56 Hospital Experience and Lactation Consultants

09:48 Dealing with Tongue Ties

13:55 Coming Home and Milk Supply

21:51 Pumping Insights and Tips

30:39 Understanding Breastfeeding Pain

31:56 Seeking Professional Help

32:48 Diagnosing Tongue and Lip Ties

33:54 Post-Procedure Improvements

36:38 Using a Boppy Pillow Correctly

38:04 Lactation Consultant Insights

38:44 Controversies Around Tongue Ties

40:46 Dealing with Milk Bleb

43:31 Nursing Challenges with Teething

51:29 Emotional Attachment to Nursing

53:58 Handling Nursing Strikes

57:16 Final Thoughts and Encouragement