The Mrs. Beside

We all want to experience deeper levels of pleasure, affection, intimacy and connectivity with our partners right? But often times, SOMETHING is standing in the way. There’s a gap in expectation where and when what we fantasize and what happens in reality just don’t quite match up. 

Join me as I chat with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, sexologist and speaker, on the importance of sexual ownership, foreplay, the various types of arousal, porn as entertainment, safe words and MORE! It’s time….grab your partner, RELEASE those inhibitions and LET’S TALK DIRTY! Whew chile….ISSALOT but it’s worth it! 

BIO 
Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sexologist and speaker who helps her clients evolve into the women they were created to be, in and outside of the bedroom. She speaks on a variety of topics from sex drive and sexual shame to painful intercourse, purity culture and more. Her mission is to provide safe spaces for people to talk about sex.  You can find her teaching classes for The Velvet Box or at her website at www.drcelesteholbrook.com.  Sign up for a complimentary 30 min discovery call with Dr. Celeste here. 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcelesteholbrook/ 

Historically women, and more specifically, black women have been taught and expected to be strong. Show up at work - be on at home. Be available emotionally for everyone and to most certainly, click on all cylinders sexually. Give it to him or someone else will! 

 

We have to be courageous. Be seen not heard. Be helpful. Be nurturing. Be self-sacrificing. Voice our opinions but not too loud. Speak up but don’t be aggressive. Be ambitious but not too flashy. Be confident but for heaven's sake, don’t be cocky. 

 

Take care of ourselves but not spend much money and frankly, it’s exhausting. Then you add a history of family unit degradation, generational traumas and a long standing inability to put our faith in anyone but ourselves, and you have a recipe for disaster. 

 

What is vulnerability and what are emotional risks when you’ve never been able to explore that realm? What does it take to truly RE(tire) these thought negative patterns and behaviors and get to a place of full healing? My mom spent so much time molding me to be strong. She knew that one day I would be a wife and Mom; fully aware of the load that her little black daughter would one day have to carry. But what she failed to tell me was that I didn't HAVE TO carry it alone. 

Join me as I chat with Chanta Blue, author, speaker and certified sex therapist on RETIRING some of the strength that we were forced to carry. Whew chile….ISSALOT but you are worth it!

The much anticipated part 2 is here!

What dead weight are you carrying? What is the sum total of the trauma impacting your everyday life? Are you aware or merely getting by? Are you living in your truth or suppressing your emotions because being strong is all you know? <--- sadly, this was me. 

Married but living in shame. Stuck in a rut. Afraid to show up as my most vulnerable self because I wasn't confident that I was worthy of love! 

Most women desire to be connected in every way - physically, emotionally and mentally but more often than not, trauma stands in the way. Unhealed trauma, abuse and shame live and grow in silence. Placed on us at an early age, smoothed over and called strength and swallowed only to resurface in ways out of our control. 

Join me as I chat with Amanda White of @therapyforwomen, a licensed Therapist and Trauma Expert, as we gain insight and wisdom on how to break the cycle. IT. STOPS. WITH. YOU!  It's time to RE(set) shame and take control over your emotional mind once and for all!  #ISSALOT! But you are worth it!

ABOUT AMANDA

Amanda E. White is a licensed professional counselor and yoga teacher. She runs a popular Instagram account @therapyforwomen. She specializes in working with women with trauma and substance use disorders. She owns a private practice in Philadelphia, “Therapy for Women”. Amanda also leads yoga and mental health retreats, using the physical practice of yoga along with the power of group therapy to allow people to break free from patterns that are keeping them stuck.

Instagram: @therapyforwomen
Website: Home | Therapy for Women Center

Affordable Therapy Resources:
Talk Space www.try.talkspace.com 
Better Help www.betterhelp.com
Open Path Collective https://openpathcollective.org/

Sis, who is your husband sleeping with?

And NO - I do not mean he's cheating! I'm talking about YOU friend! Who is it that he lays down with at night? Is she passive? Aggressive? Docile? Timid? Confident? Is she carrying the weight of her past? Is she experiencing full pleasure?

Or merely dutifully checking the box? <--- sadly enough, this was me.

Married and broken - mom'ing and damaged - existing but not living. Afraid to explore my body because shame encompassed my sexuality.

Most women have an innate need to connect with their partners but more often than not, the emotional need for connectivity is necessary before the physical can transpire. This is especially true where unhealed trauma and shame reside. 

But with most men hardwired to be the total opposite - how can we ever find common ground? 

Join Jamia as she chats with Kristin Hodson, a licensed Clinical Therapist and Sex Therapist, as we gain insight and wisdom on how to bridge the gap, the benefits of masturbation, unpacking sexual shame, foreplay, sex toys and more.

If you WANT to be physically intimate, communicate your NEEDS and feel UNDERSTOOD, then this is the episode for you! 

It's time to RE(set) your emotional mind and take ownership of who your husband is sleeping with - once and for all! 

ABOUT KRISTIN Kristin Hodson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.  She is Founder and Executive Director of The Healing Group mental health clinic in Salt Lake City and Co-Author of the book Real Intimacy: A Couples Guide for Genuine, Healthy Sexuality (Cedar Fort 2011). Additionally she works as an adjunct professor teaching human sexuality to master level students working to become Social Workers and founded the Rocky Mountain Sex Summit in an effort to increase sexual health competency in mental health professionals.  She has a unique ability to break down the topics of sexuality into easily digestible pieces empowering people to further develop their sexual identity, hone their sexual values, improve their communication around sexuality all with the intention to improve people’s relationships with themselves and others. Kristin is approachable, relatable and has a light sense of humor around health issues that often feel intimidating or heavy. She has been a guest presenter for nationally renowned sex therapist Dr. Gina Ogden and Dr. Tammy Nelson and has contributed to national media outlets including Huffington Post Live, NPR, Women’s Day Magazine and MTV and local outlets including RadioWest, Studio5,The Deseret News, RadioWest, The Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City magazine, various podcasts and local news outlets.   Kristin is a Mom of 3 wild things and a partner to her husband Jake living in Salt Lake City, UT.

Instagram: @kristinbhodson
Website: https://www.kristinbhodson.com

Welcome to Season 2 of The Mrs. Beside! I am absolutely thrilled to connect with you again and I firmly believe that you are in the right place, at the right time. 

The Mrs. Beside was birthed from a place of BROKENNESS and at the behest of a very painful admission. I was stressed out, overworked, unrested and at my wits end. But the truth was, I had contributed to my own misery. 

Season 1, every episode began with UN indicating the reverse of an action. We chatted about getting back to the essence of you and answering the Earth shaking question -- who am I? But now in Season 2, every episode will begin with RE - indicating that we are going to do it again- but this time WILL BE DIFFERENT. We’re shifting our mindsets, taking control of our time, owning our sexuality and fine tuning our voices! No more ‘woe it’s me...in 2021, we’re at, “Whoaa it’s you!” 

It’s time to put some RESPECT BACK ON OUR NAMES! And it starts with youuuuu because that is the ONLY person you can control. Respect begins within - start by admiring yourself because it directly affects how we treat ourselves and how we allow others to treat us!  

Let go of those expectations, both imposed and implied. Take responsibility for where you are so that you can begin to change it. 

I know ISSALOT! But you are worth it!

 

It's time to UNCOVER what made me start this journey to healing, UNEARTH the answers to two of the hardest questions of my life and UNMASK my imperfections.

I started Season 1 off by saying that 'something' happened and I fell apart...but friend, I never said what actually happened. And that ends today! I only ask for grace as I reveal some very tender parts of my story. 

Uncovering my issues started with me. It meant beginning a journey to unearthing and mending old wounds starting at the root and unmasking the REAL me; a person I hadn't seen in quite some time. Left with some hard truths, it was time for me to stare at the (wo)man in the mirror and decide to really make a change. 

Friends, I have not yet "arrived" - but like I said, I'm still under construction but I'm getting better. I know ISSALOT but you, my dear, are so worth it!

Love you to life,

J 💕

 

There have been lots of times where we have been in places, situations, scenarios and facing decisions that were just plain unexpected. And today’s guest, Brittanie Hazzard-Bigby is no different. As I wrap up Season 1, I get the unique chance to chat with Brittanie, a 4th year Medical Student, wife and fur mama about her uncommon journey to medicine. Tune in as we discuss how they balance being married while living apart, communicating expectations and how she has been able to keep it all together while being thrown the UNEXPECTED! Her motto is, ‘a delay is not a denial; each step is a necessary part of the amazingly beautiful adventure we call life.” Whew chile...Issalot but it’s worth it! 

Bio:
Brittanie D. Hazzard Bigby, a Houston, TX native, earned her BS in Education from Baylor University and her MPH in Health Promotion and Behavior Science from the University of Texas School of Public Health and will be, officially, Dr. Hazzard Bigby in 2021. When she isn’t engulfed in her academic coursework or advocating for clean beauty as a Beautycounter consultant, Brittanie enjoys creating memories with her husband, Justin; learning a new skill, with guitar being her favorite, or indulging in a little rest and relaxation. Brittanie’s motto is “Delay is not denial; each step is a necessary part of the amazingly beautiful adventure we call life.”

LINKS MENTIONED
Instagram - @Brittanie.HB
Beauty Counter - https://www.beautycounter.com/brittaniehazzardbigby

Unfamiliar with Valdene Mark #12

In today’s times, much of what we are now experiencing can be defined as uncharted territory. Politics are in high drive, we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and black America is in a state of national emergency. Ok, so racial inequities aren’t new but more and more people are faced with the hard truth that most things are out of our control. Yet somehow, we have to navigate this so-called ‘new-norm’. In this episode, I get the chance to chat with Valdene Mark, a Vincentian Author, Wife and Mom who tells all in this captivating story where apple pie meets sugar apple! Tune in as we discuss interracial marriage, immigration, cultural differences, raising kids and how they navigate life in a very black and white world while conquering the UNFAMILIAR. Whew chile...Issalot but it’s worth it!

Bio: 
Vincentian author Valdene Mark founded Sugar Apple Books to create diverse children's books aimed at early readers. She takes inspiration from her Caribbean childhood, focusing her stories on promoting resilience and encouraging children to use the power of imagination to navigate their feelings. Valdene hopes that her books can bring joy, help children to overcome their fears, and share a love of literature with young readers all around the world. Valdene lives in Providence, Rhode Island, with her husband and two children.

Links Mentioned: 
Sugar Apple Books
https://sugarapplebooks.com
Jade Braves the Dark - by Valdene Mark 
https://sugarapplebooks.com/books/p/in-the-dark-hardcover 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sugarapplebooks/ 

Unloved with Joyce Bass #11

Love is patient. It is kind. It does not envy and it keeps no record of wrong. It does not boast and it is not proud. Love is powerful. But in the hands of an impure heart, love can tear down. It can belittle, cause immense damage, abuse and create a cyclic pattern of isolation and codependency. In this power packed episode, I chat with Joyce Bass who has had both experiences. Married twice in two different ways. One wore her down; the other built her up and thrust her into a place of purpose. Tune in as we discuss the dichotomy between her married experiences, reminders of self-worth and how she overcame being UNLOVED. This episode is one you will not want to miss! Whew chile...Issalot but you’re worth it! 

LINKS MENTIONED

Cameron’s Corner 
https://www.facebook.com/camcorner13/

Unbalanced with Lara McElderry 

When was the last time that you felt the scales were tipped in YOUR favor? Not recently? Not often? Yeah...us either. Lara McElderry is a veteran Mom, Wife, Business Owner, Coach, and a successful Podcast Host. As a Coach, she has not only poured into me but also pours into the lives of countless medical spouses annually. With a busy Trauma Surgeon for a husband and 5 boys in tow, Lara knows all about feeling UNBALANCED. Tune in as we talk about doing the necessary, mom guilt, the power of NO, relationship tips and how to shift our thinking for a healthier us. This is an episode you won’t want to miss!

LINKS MENTIONED

Married to Doctors 

www.marriedtodoctors.com 

Bio: 
Lara McElderry studied Family and Consumer Science and graduated from the University of Arkansas with a Masters Degree in Teaching. She has worked with youth and adults and has a strong interest in family dynamics.  Lara has been navigating the medical world for the last seventeen years as she has supported her husband through medical school, residency, a specialty change, fellowship, as well as raising five boys. She is the founder and podcast host of Married To Doctors. Her show is an interview-based weekly podcast.  Spouses of physicians share their stories and experts share advice as Lara leads a discussion asking personal and hard questions that explore the joys and challenges of being Married to Doctors.