As a holiday gift for my listeners, I'm releasing the PG-13 version of this work. Be forewarned that some of the original profane language is still intact, but certain scenes have been reworked for a funny, more family-friendly result. Suitable for teens and up! Episodes released Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays through January 8th! I'll return to new content in January.

The muggle man was browsing the stacks at Flourish and Blotts when Lucius spotted something that would change the course of history.

The muggle had a Dark Mark.

Surely this man– the father of a mudblood, Lucius reminded himself– hadn't been a Death Eater?

Lucius didn't know how it was possible, but he vowed there and then that he and his family would do everything in their power to protect this man's daughter-- their very lives could depend upon it.