Lauren sits down with Mia, also known as phoodietings, for a candid conversation about queer identity, people-pleasing, and the mental load of hiding who you are. Mia shares how growing up Filipino and Catholic shaped her early experiences, how she came to understand her sexuality later in life, and how creating content helped her build confidence and community. They also get practical, discussing ADHD diagnosis, setting boundaries without guilt, and why authenticity matters in both relationships and content creation.
Key Topics
- The origin story of Mia’s @phoodietings Instagram
- The DMV Foodie Crew community of creators
- Filipino food and culture
- ADHD diagnosis in adulthood, including restlessness, trouble focusing, and trying different medications
- Mia’s experience growing up in a Catholic home and masking her identity
- Coming out later in life, including Mia’s first crushes, dating women privately, and the relief of finally living authentically
- The emotional cost of people-pleasing, especially when there’s no queer community or safe outlet to process dating experiences
- Coming out publicly on social media
- Mia’s advice on boundaries, self-trust, and choosing yourself even when fear is present
Chapters
02:52 Starting with a breathing exercise
04:03 Highs and lows of the week, including entrepreneurship dreams and ADHD challenges
05:32 What led Mia to seek an ADHD diagnosis as an adult
10:04 Mia’s content creator origin story and how phoodietings began
11:03 Why Filipino content resonated and the role of food in love and hospitality
12:40 Family expectations, Catholic guilt, and early people-pleasing
14:12 Coming out later in life and realizing attraction to women
15:40 Masking, dressing to fit in, and the emotional strain of hiding identity
17:22 Lauren shares her own bisexual identity journey
20:59 Family reactions, internalized homophobia, and the path toward acceptance
22:23 Mia’s Hinge story and how she met her fiancé
25:33 Dating women in secret and what people-pleasing looked like in practice
27:24 The loneliness of hiding dating life from family and friends
30:54 How podcasts and a solo Miami trip helped Mia prepare to come out
32:31 Coming out to close people through Diana Ross’s “I’m Coming Out”
34:21 Why Mia chose to come out publicly on social media
36:55 Letting go of outside approval and feeling truly happy
39:12 The mental health toll of forcing herself into a straight box
40:01 Therapy and feeling free
42:29 A practical boundary: waiting 24 hours before saying yes
44:50 Advice for people afraid to live authentically
Action items
- Try a 24-hour delay before agreeing to plans or favors
- Ask yourself whether a yes is coming from alignment or people-pleasing
- Post the creative thing, even if it feels cringe at first
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Connect with Mia:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/phoodietings/ & https://www.instagram.com/toma_ventures/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@phoodietings
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TOMAVENTURES
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