The Negotiation Club

A practical conversation with Michael Phillips on how using people’s names—when done well—builds rapport, trust, and influence in negotiations.

In Episode 3 of The Negotiation Club Podcast, Philip Brown (Founder of The Negotiation Club) is joined by Michael Phillips, negotiation trainer and author, to explore a deceptively simple but powerful negotiation behaviour: using people’s names.

The discussion examines why names matter so much in human interaction and how, in negotiations, this small detail can significantly influence rapport, trust, and willingness to engage.

Mike explains that using someone’s name appropriately helps them feel acknowledged, respected, and valued. It personalises the interaction and reinforces the relationship side of negotiation—often before any commercial discussion begins.

The episode reinforces that negotiation outcomes are rarely driven by tactics alone. The quality of the relationship, even in short interactions, plays a critical role in how proposals are received and decisions are made.

Philip and Mike explore several pitfalls that negotiators frequently overlook:

Each mistake subtly erodes trust rather than building it.

The episode emphasises that using names is not about frequency—it is about timing, tone, and intent.

Effective use of names often appears natural rather than deliberate. It tends to occur at key moments: greetings, transitions, emphasis points, or moments of acknowledgement. Used sparingly and correctly, a name reinforces connection without drawing attention to itself.

To practise this skill, start by becoming more intentional in low-risk interactions.

Try:

Role-play exercises are particularly effective here, allowing you to receive feedback on whether your use of names feels natural or forced.

A dedicated Negotiation Card on using names has been created to support deliberate practice of this behaviour. The card focuses attention on awareness, pronunciation, timing, and restraint—helping negotiators turn a simple habit into a consistent strength.

Used well, names become more than a courtesy. They become a quiet signal of respect, attention, and professionalism.

A practical conversation with Fred Copestake on using TED questioning to uncover insight, deepen understanding, and steer negotiations more effectively.

In this episode of The Negotiation Club Podcast, Philip Brown (Founder of The Negotiation Club) is joined by Fred Copestake, sales trainer and founder of Brindis, to explore the power of questioning in negotiation.

The conversation focuses on how the questions negotiators choose—particularly how they ask them—can shape the quality of information shared and the direction of the negotiation itself.

Fred introduces a simple but highly effective questioning framework known as TED, which stands for:

These prompts encourage the other party to expand their thinking rather than defend a position. Instead of short or guarded answers, TED questions invite explanation, narrative, and context—often revealing information that would not surface through closed or leading questions.

The episode explores why TED questions are particularly effective in negotiation settings. By giving the other party space to talk, negotiators gain insight into:

Fred shares practical examples of how TED questions have helped steer conversations away from surface-level exchanges and toward more meaningful dialogue.

Philip and Fred emphasise that effective questioning is not about scripting or interrogation. TED questions work best when they are woven naturally into conversation and paired with genuine listening.

Overuse or mechanical delivery can feel unnatural. The skill lies in choosing the right moment to invite expansion—and then resisting the urge to interrupt or jump to conclusions.

The episode reinforces a consistent message: listening alone is not enough. Questioning is a skill that improves through deliberate practice.

To practise TED questioning, focus on:

A dedicated Negotiation Card on “TED” has been created to help practitioners practise this technique intentionally. The card supports role-play and live practice, helping negotiators become more comfortable using open, exploratory questions under pressure.

Used consistently, TED questions sharpen understanding, reduce assumption, and improve decision-making throughout the negotiation process.

A practical conversation with Tobias Threlfall-Holmes on building relationships quickly and negotiating effectively when time and leverage are limited.

In this episode of The Negotiation Club Podcast, Philip Brown (Founder of The Negotiation Club) is joined by Tobias Threlfall-Holmes, a past Durham University student and historic member of the Durham University Negotiation Society.

The conversation centres on how negotiation skills are often tested in everyday situations, particularly when time is short and formal leverage is limited.

Tobias shares a memorable story from a negotiation at a local restaurant involving a simple but revealing objective: securing free chicken wings with a drink 😊

While light-hearted on the surface, the situation provides a strong example of how negotiators adapt quickly, read the room, and make decisions under time pressure. The episode uses this scenario to explore how informal negotiations still rely on core skills rather than tactics alone.

A central theme of the discussion is the importance of building relationships quickly. Tobias explains how establishing rapport early—even in short interactions—can change the tone of a negotiation and create openness.

The episode highlights several key skills at play:

These behaviours often matter more than positional arguments when negotiating in everyday contexts.

From Insight to Practice

Philip and Tobias reflect on how negotiation skills are transferable across settings, from formal competitions to spontaneous real-world conversations.

To practise these skills, focus on low-stakes, everyday negotiations where time is limited. Observe how quickly rapport can be built, how listening influences responses, and how creative solutions emerge when both sides feel understood.

Used consistently, these moments help build confidence and adaptability.

This episode reinforces that negotiation skill develops through practice, not theory alone.

If you want to explore relationship-building under time pressure, recreate similar scenarios in practice sessions—short, informal negotiations with limited preparation. These environments help negotiators sharpen judgement and responsiveness.

The episode serves as a reminder that effective negotiation does not always happen in boardrooms. Sometimes it happens over a drink—and a plate of chicken wings.