The Nerd Obscurial Podcast

Apropos Nichts

Nichts Neues unter der Sonne

Nichts währt ewig

Nichts im Ärmel

Viel Lärm um nichts

Sonst nichts Maters

Nichts ist vergleichbar mit Ihnen

Geld für nichts und Ihre Küken kostenlos

Nichts aus dem Nichts ist nichts

Du weißt nichts John Schnee

Ich würde alles für die Liebe tun, aber ich werde das nicht tun

Ja, wir haben heute keine Bananen

Alle dies, plus Spezial Gast The Oklahoma Kid.

(Das Oklahoma Kid erscheint mit freundlicher Genehmigung von Pretzels, America's Bread.)

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Everything you ever wanted to know about mime wang and more, because everything you wanted to know about mime wang was nothing!  Join Erik the Troubadour as he makes comments and claims that necessitate the following apologies.  Pretzels would like to apologize to the numerous pre-1990’s female MCs for failing to acknowledge their pioneering achievements and contributions to Hip Hop, including but not limited to: Salt and Pepa, Queen Latifah, Lady B, the Sequence, and of course MC Sha-Rock.  Pretzels would like to apologize to 2 Live Crew for failing to acknowledge their pioneering of being really raunchy in Hip Hop.  Pretzels would like to apologize to Eve for improperly crediting her verse on “You Got Me” by The Roots to Erykah Badu, who actually just sang the hook.  Pretzels would like to apologize to Larry Bird for diminishing his storied career and accomplishments to a throwaway joke about Dave Brubeck.  Pretzels would like to apologize to Dave Brubeck for implying that being compared to Dave Brubeck is somehow demeaning.  Pretzels would like to apologize to the Gershwin Brothers for implying that they were racist.  Pretzels would like to apologize to Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers for dragging them into this mess.  And Pretzels would like to apologize to our own Oklahoma Kid on behalf of Erik the Troubadour for his failure to read these show notes since they are the most well thought out part of this whole endeavor.  All this, plus special guest The Oklahoma Kid.

(The Oklahoma Kid appears courtesy of Pretzels, America’s Bread.)

The Opening Act is…Sampler Platter

The Taste on the (Turn)Table is…Genius of Love

The Taste on the (Turn)Table is also…Summertime

The Closer is…Drink Me a Mix

The Flavor and Flow is…Wake for It (…Legendeady!)

The Zelda game that is also great that I forgot to mention is…Skyward Sword

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Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!  Bzzz bzzz bzz bzzzzzzzzz bzz z, bzz bzzzzzzz bzz, bz bzzzzzzz bzzz bzz bzzzzzzz bzzzzz bzz bz bzzzzzz bzzz.  Bzzzzzzzzzz bzz bzzzzz bzz bzzzzzz bz bzzzzz bzzzzz bzzz bzzzzzzzzzz bzzz bzz bzzz bzzzzz.  Bzz bzzz bzz bzzz, bzzzzzz bz bzz bz Pretzels, America’s Bread.

Bzz Bzzzzz Bzzzz bz… Bzzzzz bzz Bzzzz

Bzzz’z Bzzz bz…Bzz bz Bzzzz Bzzz

Bzzzzzzz’z Bzzz bz…Bzzzzzzz bzz Bzzz bz Bzz

Bzz Bzzzzz bz…Bzzzzz Bzzz

Bzz Bzzz bz…Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Bzz Bzzz

Bzz Bzzz Bzz Bzzzzz bz…Bzzz Bzzz Bzzzzz Bzz Bzzz

Bzzz bz bz gadzooksanerd.com/meow

Bzzz bzz Bzzzz bz gadzooksanerd.com/fields

Bzzzzzz bz bz [email protected]

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!  Bzzz bzzz bzz bzzzzzzzzz bzz z, bzz bzzzzzzz bzz, bz bzzzzzzz bzzz bzz bzzzzzzz bzzzzz bzz bz bzzzzzz bzzz.  Bzzzzzzzzzz bzz bzzzzz bzz bzzzzzz bz bzzzzz bzzzzz bzzz bzzzzzzzzzz bzzz bzz bzzz bzzzzz.  Bzz bzzz bzz bzzz, bzzzzzz bz bzz bz Pretzels, America’s Bread.

Bzz Bzzzzz Bzzzz bz… Bzzzzz bzz Bzzzz

Bzzz’z Bzzz bz…Bzz bz Bzzzz Bzzz

Bzzzzzzz’z Bzzz bz…Bzzzzzzz bzz Bzzz bz Bzz

Bzz Bzzzzz bz…Bzzzzz Bzzz

Bzz Bzzz bz…Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Bzz Bzzz

Bzz Bzzz Bzz Bzzzzz bz…Bzzz Bzzz Bzzzzz Bzz Bzzz

Bzzz bz bz gadzooksanerd.com/meow

Bzzz bzz Bzzzz bz gadzooksanerd.com/fields

Bzzzzzz bz bz [email protected]

Westeros PD has a new secret weapon in solving the case, Dr. Lord Varys, forensic detective, coming to CBS Thursdays this fall!  Join Erik the Troubadour as he spreads misinformation about jazz ballad nomenclature, rodent reproductive cycles, squire job requirements, and the proper descriptors for ultimate British quaintness.  All this, plus special guest The Oklahoma Kid.

(The Oklahoma Kid appears courtesy of Pretzels, America’s Bread.)

The Opening Act is…Barkeep, a Pod of Your Finest Draft Hail (Cthulhu)

The Topic on Tap is…Is that Valyrian Steel You Stabbed Me in the Back With, or are You Just Unhappy to See Me?

The Closer is…Drink Me a Mix

The Flavor and Flow is…Now is the Winter of Our This Content

The Equation is...(((((((1x2) cubed)/4)x5)-6)+7)-8) times (((((((1x2) cubed)/4)x5)-6)+7)-8)

The “You’re Stuck Inside” is…Directed by Luke Warm

The “The Force is Inside” is…Also directed by Luke Warm

The “Enjambment” is…Once again, directed by Luke Warm

The Porn Opera is…You guessed it, directed by Luke Warm

Find us at gadzooksanerd.com/meow

Hear the Music at gadzooksanerd.com/fields

Contact us at [email protected]

Le wombat poursuit sa quête éternelle! Rejoignez Erik le troubadour alors qu'il parle de soupes.  Pendant près d'une heure.  Juste de la soupe.  Une heure.  Pas de soupe de test de goût.  Pas comment faire de la soupe.  Pas de recettes pour la soupe.  Ce qu'il pense de certaines soupes qu'il prépare lui-même.  En saurez-vous plus sur la soupe ou la cuisson de la soupe à la fin de cette heure?  Non.  Bien sûr que non.  Mais vous aurez une connaissance intime des préférences, des prédilections et des perversions d'Erik le Troubadour dans le domaine général de la soupe.  Jouissez!  Tout cela, plus l'invité spécial le Oklahoma Kid.

(l'Oklahoma Kid apparaît avec l'aimable autorisation de bretzels, America's Bread.)

Le seul acte est…Nerdament du Championerds

Le nom du jeu est…Soupes. Juste des soupes. Une heure de soupes. Oui. Soupes.

L'acte de clôture est…Il n'y a pas d'acte de clôture

Le comment dites-vous cooch du crocodile est…actuellement exposé au Musée catalan d'archéologie de Barcelone, Espagne.  Personne ne sait pourquoi.

Retrouvez-nous chez gadzooksanerd.com/meow

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It’s Showtime at the Ap[the management at Gadzooks, a Nerd would like to sincerely apologize to Mz.’s Knowles, Rowland, and Williams, the fine people at the historic Apollo Theater, and people of Harlem, and remind you that the comments made by the Troubadour and The Kid do not represent the views or opinions of the Gadzooks, a Nerd family]!  Join Erik the Troubadour as he talks about racist ex-presidents (not the one you’re thinking of) and redoing the roof on his house or some such nonsense.  Look, they can’t all be winners people. But you know what was a winner? The Kid’s international travels to England and Wales. If you ever find yourself in Shipton Moyne, outside Malmesbury, Wiltshire, (and why wouldn’t you?) then pop into The Cat and the Custard Pot pub for a pint, a steak pie, and the Eton mess for dessert (just trust me, or rather trust Mz. Oklahoma). Also shoutouts to Cheeky Scones in Notting Hill and Maharaja of India behind Trafalgar Square. Cheers mate! All this, plus a right special guest in that old gov’ner The Oklahoma Kid.

(The Oklahoma Kid appears courtesy of Pretzels, America’s Bread.)

The Season Topic is…Channel Surfing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Erik’s Pick is…Nature Channel

Oklahoma’s Pick is…also Natu[DENIED]

The Domain is…Honkytonk Motherfucker

The Joke is…Erik v. Dental Hygene

The Oklahoma Kid Will Return in…Cthulhu Royale

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Hear the Music at gadzooksanerd.com/fields

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Welcome to Kitchen Talk, I’m Chef Hartley, with me as always is the tiny Abe Vigajian who lives under my hat!  Join Erik the Troubadour as he stops asking and starts taking.  That is, taking up Harry Belafonte as a new friend of the show, taking on the daunting process of honky certification, taking out those pesky moon-based wizards, and taking down our natural enemy, NPR’s The Splendid Table. All this, plus special guest The Oklahoma Kid. But first, the ladyfinger’s of Duke.

(The Oklahoma Kid appears courtesy of Pretzels, America’s Bread.)

The Season Topic is…Channel Surfing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Erik’s Pick is…Game Show Network

Oklahoma’s Pick is…Comedy Central

The Domain is…Get that Honky

The Joke is…Sudoku v. Boats

The Troubadour’s fanfic is…Not as creepy as you feared, but not as raunchy as you hoped

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Contact us at [email protected]

Watch out Fluorgnaxx, here come spoilers for 1979’s Alien!  Join Erik the Troubadour for a taste of the finer things in life.  Things like a hearty pipe of the old star-thistle, a bit of soft shoe from your favorite drunk uncle, or perhaps even the sublime art of ovine fire dragging. From cultured appreciation of vintage spacemobiles and zero-g freestyle swum operas, to edifying lectures on thoroughbred tauntaun husbandry and intergalactic molecular gastronomy, to lively philosophical debates on verbal based copyright law and the sainthood of Mark Hamill, there is something for every true aesthete to enjoy. All this, plus the dulcet tones of special guest The Oklahoma Kid.

(The Oklahoma Kid’s dulcet tones appears courtesy of Pretzels, America’s Bread.)

The Season Topic is…Channel Surfing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Erik’s Pick is…DIY

Oklahoma’s Pick is…PBS

The Domain is…You One White Ass Honky

The Joke is…Fury v. Fences

The Score is…Ewoks 1, Stormtroopers Nil

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The Troubadour should probably stop talking!  Join Erik the Troubadour as he [The management at Gadzooks, a Nerd apologizes for the interruption, but Cthulhu and the internet cats insisted the following, properly researched and fact checked information be available to the listener.  Firstly, there is no correlation between the color of a Jedi’s saber and any classification, categorization, or duty assignment.  Please visit gadzooksanerd.com/meow/oddxii for full details on this subject.  As to Mz. Rey and her plans for the future, when reached for comment she replied she was not ready to make any firm announcements at this date.  Secondly, the practice of celibacy is by no means required by the Jedi Order.  The Jedi is actually discouraged from forming any overly strong attachments, thus marriage (or any other comparable cultural, faith based, or legal practices) and parenthood are not allowed among the Jedi.  Again, please visit gadzooksanerd.com/meow/oddxii for full details on this subject.  On the topic of Jedi parenthood, Cthulhu would especially like to point out that two cases of force sensitivity being passed on in a family is not a significant enough sample size to make any claim of Jedi potential being a truly hereditary trait.  Likewise, the cats everywhere on the internet would like to point out that the only particularly notable use of the Force by Princess Leia Organa was pulling herself out of the vacuum of space which was almost as dumb as that midochlorian garbage and should thus be roundly ignored.  Thirdly, on the question of funding and how it could make the Jedi beholden to partisan politics, or even complicit in corruption, it should be known that the Jedi is in actuality not funded by the Senate but in fact by the Jedi Order itself via its Service Corps.  Once more, please visit gadzooksanerd.com/meow/oddxii for full details on this subject.  And lastly is the most prominent piece of anti-Jedi propaganda among Imperialists and internet trolls, that the Jedi are some sort of baby snatchers.  Please remember that being in the Order is ENTIRELY VOLUNTARY, and any member may choose to leave at any time.  The acceptance of younglings into the Order is at the discretion of the parents or legal guardians of said youngling, and may be declined.  Furthermore, the use of “mind tricks” or any other force abilities to take a youngling from a rightful guardian is not only grounds for dismissal from the Jedi Order, but may mark the user as a potential Sith and result in disciplinary actions up to and including death.  And again, please visit gadzooksanerd.com/meow/oddxii for full details on this subject.  And we would further remind the listener that it was the breaking of several of these practices that lead to the rise of the Empire and the end of thousands of years of peace and prosperity for all.  We now return you to the previously scheduled show notes]us special guest The Oklahoma Kid.

(The Oklahoma Kid appears courtesy of Pretzels, America’s Bread.)

The Season Topic is…Channel Surfing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Eric’s Pick is…This is CNN

Oklahoma’s Pick is…Histo[DENIED]

The Domain is…Full Tilt Honky/Full Throttle Honky

The Joke is…Cats v. Your Face

The Concept of Mando Time is…Not to be confused with Hammer Time and/or Clobberin’ Time

Find us at gadzooksanerd.com/meow

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Contact us at [email protected]