The Neverland Files

Tier One, AKA The Beauty and the Beast Tier!

These sports define the Summer Olympic experience and are “do not miss watching” during the Paris 2024 Olympics!

🤸🏼‍♀️Gymnastics - Simon Biles soaring in her floor routine is reason enough to prioritize tuning in! She is flipping and twisting higher and faster than any gymnast alive. Legendary.

👟Track and Field - With the variety of events and the drama of the sprinting and relays it’s a must-watch. Also, Team USA has a good chance to clench gold in the 100M for men’s and women’s. Fastest man and woman in the world both from the USA? Yes, please!

⚽Football (Soccer) - We are biased here. We love soccer. But with the USA women competing with a new coach and all-new young blood, the world is waiting to see if the favorites can clench gold in over a decade.

Which Marvel characters should compete in all three of these tier-one events?

Spiderman may edge out Black Widow in gymnastics (just barely!) but we feel she would have the edge in soccer. Her experience at kicking faces gives her some practice in kicking a ball.

Tier Two, AKA the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Tier!

These sports have (almost) been around since the beginning of time. And even though they aren’t the most popular, the Olympics wouldn’t be the Olympics without them!

🥊Boxing - MMA and WWE have taken fighting sports to super exaggerated heights. To reconnect with the pure athleticism and power of Muhammad Ali, watch boxing.

🎯Archery - It’s not high-octane excitement, but the tension could be cut with a knife. Without nerves of steel, no one can even begin to compete in this sport.

🐴Equestrian - If you are looking for tradition and class in an Olympic sport, Equestrian is for you. It’s traditional, yes. But so fascinating to watch humans be so in sync with an animal companion.

Which Star Wars characters should compete in all three of these tier-two events?

All of these sports require tradition and old-school class. No Jedi is more of a gentleman than Qui-Gon Jinn. And the Emperor…not a gentleman. But! He really puts the “old” in old-school class 😂.

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Would you rather never ride Splash Mountain/Tiana’s Bayou or never ride Space Mountain again?

Have Genie+ every day for a month or a membership to Club 33 for a month?

Get tangled in Mickey balloons or keep tripping over the Disneyland trolley tracks?

Attend an amazing Halloween party at the Haunted Mansion or attend an amazing Christmas party inside the Haunted Mansion Holiday?

Eat Mickey beignets for breakfast every day or eat Disneyland corn dogs every day for dinner?

Spend a day at Disneyland in the pouring rain or spend a day at Disneyland in 100-degree heat?

Get stuck in Small World for 30 minutes with the song playing on a loop or get stuck on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for 30 minutes in the hell scene?

Disneyland get rid of churros permanently or turkey legs permanently?

Have a one-time totally free shopping spree on Main Street or never have to wait for the tram or bus ever again?

Have a camp-out on Tom Sawyer’s Island or sleep overnight in Minnie’s house?

Be followed around by the Dapper Dan’s singing boy band songs or the Disneyland marching band playing Frozen songs?

Bring back Captain EO for good or the people mover for good?

Travel back in time to 1955 and Disneyland’s opening day or travel forward in time to 2055 for Disneyland’s 100 year anniversary?

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Nostalgia - 2/5

Neither of us can remember the first time we watched this movie… we remember the advertising for the film more than the actual film. Sooooo….that’s our bad, ya’ll!

Characters - 3.5/5

Every character was well-written and important. No one was extra baggage that felt like we could cut out. There was room for more background in some areas. But the interconnectedness of the character’s needs and weaknesses was done super well!

Story - 2/5

The beginning did not grab us. It misleads the viewer about the tone of the rest of the movie. And it’s only an hour and twenty-five minutes! That leaves so much time to do more background on the characters (ehm….Nani) that is more obvious than just random stuff in the background that we are supposed to use to infer a character’s past and point of view.

Visual Experience - 3/5

A unique animation style that is very stylized with watercolor backgrounds. Not our taste necessarily. But still points to the effort to make this movie stand out and look different than other animated movies.

Music - 3/5

The incorporation of Elvis sounds good. But we were a little lost in the “why” of the storytelling behind using Elvis as an actual focus in the story. The Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride song is good! And at the beginning of the movie, after so much time in space, seeing the ocean and hearing the native Hawaiian music immediately set the tone for us.

Disney Magic Moment - 3/5

The second half of this movie has two moments that hit emotionally, that we would consider a Disney Magic Moment because it gives this movie depth and soul (at least for one of us :) ).

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Grizzly Peak is the best-themed land at Disneyland Resort

Bug’s Land was a much better use of space than Avenger’s Campus

The Little Mermaid Ride is the best family ride in California Adventure

Indiana Jones is the best ride in the entire Disneyland Resort

Frontierland isn’t really a thing anymore. One ride and some stores. Not a proper land like it was when it opened.

Star Tours > Millenium Falcon Smugglers Run

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Surviving the Deserted Island - Corban with Bob Parr and PT Flea’s Animal Cracker Box

In any dangerous situation, Bob Parr aka Mr. Incredible is the guy you want on your team. Despite the lame object, Corban comes out on top.

Surviving the Frozen Tundra - Camari with the Underminer and Al’s Chicken Suit

The Underminer and the chicken suit will help Camari survive the freezing, icy elements while Corban will have a tough time doing anything but playing with his Luxo Jr. ball….

Surviving the Bear Attack - Camari with Russell and Duct Tape

Russell is a trained wilderness explorer with a talent for making friends with wild animals. If anyone can tame a bear, it’s this guy. And the duct tape can be a good backup plan if things go south.

Surviving a Broken Leg in the Woods - Corban with Colt Bronco and a Hover Chair

With two options for getting help out of the woods with a broken leg, this one is a no-brainer. Not only will he be saved but he gets choices about how he will be saved!

Stranded on a Boat in the Ocean - Camari with Dante and Jet Boots

Dante will offer wonderful companionship and Syndrome’s jet boots can be used for anything from flying to see the nearest land to a heat source for boiling water and cooking food.

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We are sending in an official request! When it comes to our favorite Disney streaming platform there is an overwhelming amount of content. But what do you want more of? And what do you wish Disney would chill out with when adding to the Disney Plus library?

More or Less Disney Live Action Remakes?

More or Less Disney Princess Animated Musical Movies?

More or Less Disney and Pixar Animated Sequels?

More or Less Marvel Movies and Series?

More or Less Star Wars Stories About Force Wielders?

More or Less Skywalker-Related Star Wars Stories?

More or Less Hulu Content Visible on Disney Plus?

More or Less Pixar Shorts?

More or Less Straight to Disney Plus Movies?

More or Less Money for Disney Plus Subscription?

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Characters - 4/5

We had a little hiccup with the villains. We don’t know that Aguirre and Prince Joachim were both necessary…? But Frank, Lily, and MacGregor more than made up for any questions we had! Watch Johnson and Blunt do interviews together. It will sell you on watching them together in this movie 🙂

Story - 4/5

It’s an absurd (a German submarine in the Amazon river??), adventure with all the Indiana Jones vibes! The balancing of perspectives between the Conquistadors and the Indigenous tribes was handled well. And despite the wishy-washy double villain act, we are all in for another Jungle Cruise adventure story.

Musical Score - 3/5

It was good, but not memorable. There were a few moments that stuck out to Corban musically (the Metallica flashback music!). But overall, neither of us could hum the theme song back to you a day later.

Visual Experience - 3/5

The physical environments were pretty amazing. But the animals were a little herky-jerky, especially Proxima the jaguar. He stuck out so much it was a bit distracting…

Disney Magic Moment - 3/5

Did Corban get misty-eyed? No. Did I get the chills? No. But! We cared about the characters and how their story ended. And the tree at the end with the music was gorgeous! Plus, the little nods to the ride made us crave the Disney magic of Adventureland 😊

Nostalgia - 3/5

The biggest nostalgic draw to this movie is the ties to Disneyland. For better or worse (Corban not a huge Jungle Cruise ride fan…😬), it connected us back to the Jungle Cruise ride and made one of us want to ride it now. Today. Immediately!

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Camp Director - Captain America (Captain America: First Avenger) and Aslan (Chronicles of Narnia)

Camp Counselor - Nancy and George (Pollyanna) and Joe (Princess Diaries)

Camp Cook - Canoe (That Darn Cat!) and Theodore and Amos (Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again)

Bunk Mate - Stanley Yelnats (Holes) and Grogu (The Mandalorian)

Hiking Guide - Clancy (Man from Snowy River) and Peggy Carter (Captain America: First Avenger)

Swim Instructor - Father Robinson (Swiss Family Robinson) and Qui Gon Jinn (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace)

Archery Instructor - Chewbacca (Star Wars) and Hawkeye (Avengers)

Horseback Riding Instructor - Jim Craig (Man from Snowy River) and Ella and Kit (Cinderella)

Fire Starter - Boba Fett (Star Wars) and Doctor Strange (Doctor Strange)

Camp Music Director - Peter Quill/Star Lord (Guardians of the Galaxy) and Osh Popum (Summer Magic)

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Prince Eric as Harry Potter

He has dark hair and…would look good in glasses? And he has Lily’s eyes (at least the movie Lily’s…)

Alfredo Linguini as Ron Weasley

This comes down to how you view Ron. And we see him as the trying too hard bumbling sidekick (sorry Ron…)

Tiana as Hermione Granger

Driven and needs a time-turner to be able to meet all the goals and do all the things. She has the future Minister of Magic written all over her.

Merida as Ginny Weasley

She is not afraid to play with the boys and become the best in her chosen sport. And she has those rambunctious brothers to keep in line (and laugh with).

Russell as Neville Longbottom

He is the sweet, worried friend who wants help, even if it means standing up for his friends. And to his friends! The wilderness (and herbology) must be explored!

Rapunzel as Luna Lovegood

Dreamy-eyed and barefoot, no other Disney character captures the whimsy and individualism of Luna Lovegood. She doesn’t quite fit in, and she loves it that way (and Flynn loves her that way too!)

Prince Hans as Draco Malfoy

Draco’s family situation has created a boy who is either the awful bully or the whimpering victim. And we assume Hans’ big brothers had a lot to do with how two-faced Hans ends up in Frozen.

King Fergus as Rubeus Hagrid

Super intimidating on the outside, a total teddy bear on the inside. But if you push around his loved ones he will flip a switch and come after you!

Queen Elinor as Minerva McGonagall

Scottish accent and an affinity for “wearing” fur coats. What else doesn’t this woman have in common with Professor McGonagall?

Merlin as Albus Dumbledore

Long white beard, a pointy hat, and helps his protege grow into the leader who will help his people out of the fear of the “dark” ages. If he’s not Dumbledore, we don’t know who is.

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The internet is full of Disney vacation hacks and items to make your time in the Disney Parks easier and more comfortable, especially with kiddos. But are these items making your vacation easier or just loading you down with more stuff? Here are the items from this Buzzfeed list we both agree could make your next Disney vacation not only easier but more comfortable!

A hat is a necessity. It keeps the sun off your face and when your hair is hot and sweaty and no longer curled to photo perfection (ladies, you know what I mean) it can still help you look put together and cute. If you don’t want to spend the extra money on a hat in the park, there are so many great choices on Etsy that will keep the sun off and be a subtle Disney nod to any outfit.

Blame COVID for society’s love for hand sanitizer, but we hate the feeling of sticky hands from all the yummy goodies we love to eat. Plus, in the summer vacation heat, it feels good to wash a little bit of the salty sweat off and feel a bit refreshed.

Okay, we can’t confirm that this stroller is as amazing as it looks. But we love a smaller stroller to pop on the back of the larger stroller so that if two or three of your littles get tired, there is an extra stroller to whip out when needed. The more compact, the better!

We have strong-willed, toddler runners in our family. We have used wrist leashes to help the kiddos who want to run but are too tiny to see in a crowd stay safe and content. But we love the idea of a cute backpack to store some snacks and toys in that has a leash hooked in as well. And this one has little dino spikes so it’s also like a baby cosplay!

When it’s hot and you are sweating a ton as you run from ride to ride, a shot of electrolytes is amazing to give your body a little boost. We haven’t had this brand specifically, but we swear by electrolytes to help keep dehydration at bay. And it can help the Disney Park water taste better too 😊

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