The New School Of Motherhood Podcast

Breastfeeding is often treated as something that starts when your baby arrives. But what happens in birth, the support you receive afterward, and the beliefs you carry into motherhood all shape how that relationship begins.

In this episode, I’m joined by midwife and lactation consultant Katie James to explore the connection between birth, breastfeeding, and the transition into motherhood. We talk about how interventions, separation after birth, skin-to-skin contact, and postpartum care can influence feeding in the early days. Katie shares why breastfeeding is more than nutrition. It is a relationship between mother and baby, built through responsiveness and connection.

We also look at how formula marketing, social media, and pressure to recover quickly can leave women doubting themselves when feeding doesn’t unfold as expected. Birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum are deeply interconnected. When we miss that, many women blame their bodies. Often what was missing was support, information, and the conditions needed for breastfeeding to establish.

Key insights

• Birth and breastfeeding are linked physically, hormonally, and emotionally
• Skin-to-skin and postpartum support shape early feeding
• Breastfeeding is a relationship, not just milk
• Challenges are often circumstantial, not personal failure
• Partners matter because feeding is part of becoming a family

Let this episode offer perspective rather than pressure. Whatever your feeding journey has looked like, you deserve compassion, not self-blame.

If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠The Mother They Remember⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.

About our guest:

Katie James is a midwife and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, andcreator of The Midwives’ Cauldron and The Latch Revolution podcasts. With 25years’ clinical experience, she is known for her warm, evidence-based approach tobreastfeeding and early feeding education.

Join her breastfeeding online course: https://www.katiejames.site/

Follow her on Instagram @katiejameslactation

Listen to The Latch Revolution Podcast: https://www.thelatchrevolution.com/

About your host:

Mandy Cai⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her.

⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠

⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠

⁠Connect on Instagram⁠

⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书

What does it actually take to become a great mother, not in performance, but in presence?

In this episode, I share a personal story of early separation, and why so many of us enter motherhood led by fear and “trying not to get it wrong”. We explore what changes when you get clear on who you want to become, and you start making choices from trust instead.

We talk about:

• my experience of being sent to a boarding preschool from age 2.5 to 7, and the imprint of separation
• why knowing what you do not want is not the same as knowing what you want
• how fear-based clarity creates pressure, and trust-based clarity creates choice
• the real legacy your children remember: how they felt around you, not what you bought or achieved
• why becoming a great mother requires honesty, tradeoffs, and inner growth (not perfection)

⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠

About your host:

⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her.

⁠⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠

⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠

⁠⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠

⁠⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书

So much of early motherhood can feel like second-guessing yourself. Am I responding the right way? Am I being too soft? Too harsh? Am I creating the kind of relationship I want with my child?But beneath all of those questions is something deeper; learning how to become a safe place for your children while still staying connected to yourself.

In this episode, I’m joined by Orna Sharon, a mother of three adult children, to talk about what motherhood looks like over the long term. We explore how trust is built slowly through everyday interactions, why honesty matters in parent-child relationships, and what it actually means to be emotionally safe for your children without abandoning boundaries or authority.

Orna speaks candidly about raising children through different stages of life, navigating divorce, balancing work and motherhood in ways that felt right for her, and learning over time, when her children needed guidance and when they simply needed her to listen.

One topic we return to throughout this conversation is how much the small moments matter. How you respond when your child spills something or makes a mistake. Whether they feel safe telling you the truth. Whether repair is possible after conflict. Whether your love still feels available when boundaries are necessary. These moments shape the relationship your child learns they can have with you. Not only when life feels easy, but when they are struggling, ashamed, overwhelmed, or unsure.

Key insights

• Your child does not need perfection to feel secure
• Emotional safety and boundaries can exist together
• Honesty builds trust over time
• Motherhood changes as your children grow, but your presence still matters
• There is no single right way to navigate work, family, and selfhood

This conversation reminds you that motherhood is built in repetition, not perfection. In the way you respond. In the way you repair. And in the way your child learns they can keep coming back to you.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

About our guest:

Orna Sharon is the mother of three adult children (ages 21–30), to whom she devoted most of her time as a caregiver. Currently based in New York City, she previously worked as a growth consultant and angel investor, with a background in international business and finance.

Follow her on Linkedin

About your host:

⁠About your host: ⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠

Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠

This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

Balancing career and motherhood can feel like you’re always behind in one or the other. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because the idea of “balance” often doesn’t hold in early motherhood.

In this episode, we look more closely at what balance actually looks like when you’re raising a child and working. Zarina shares her experience of returning to work five weeks after birth, and the beliefs that informed that decision. Zarina and I explore how our relationship with our own mothers shapes how we approach work, responsibility, and motherhood, often without us realizing. We talk about the pressure to be present at home and committed at work, and what happens when those expectations sit side by side. And we look at the reality that balance isn’t something you achieve in a day, it shifts across seasons, depending on what your life is asking of you.

If you’ve felt split between your work and your child. If you’ve questioned whether you’re doing enough in either place. Or if making decisions about work feels heavier than it used to, this isn’t just about managing your time better. It’s about the expectations you’re holding, where they came from, and whether they still make sense for the life you’re in now. Because when those expectations go unquestioned, it can feel like you’re constantly choosing one part of yourself at the expense of another.

Key insights

• Balance doesn’t happen within a day—it changes across seasons
• Your approach to work is often shaped by what you saw growing up
• Guilt can come from trying to meet two competing standards at once
• What worked before motherhood may not work in the same way now
• Defining success for yourself changes the decisions you make

⁠⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠

About our guest:

A global citizen, an avid traveler, a proud daughter and mom, Zarina Lam Stanford is a recognized growth catalyst and a strategic advisor and investor for technology-based start-up and steady-state businesses in the US, Asia, and UK.  Zarina is passionate about design thinking, compelling storytelling, agile leadership, inclusion, and being purpose driven.  

Follow Zarina on Linkedin

About your host:

About your host: ⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠

Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠

This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

Unconditional love is something many of us want to give our children. And yet, in the moments that test us most, it can feel hard to access.

In this episode, I explore unconditional love through the lens of wholeness: how the conditioning we experience in childhood can disconnect us from ourselves, and why practicing unconditional love toward ourselves is what makes it possible to offer something steadier and healthier to our children.

We talk about:

• what unconditional love is (and what it isn’t)
• how conditioning shapes our sense of being loved, accepted, and safe
• why wholeness includes the full spectrum of emotions, not just the “positive” ones
• how our discomfort with big feelings can show up as fixing, rushing, or control
• why martyrdom and sacrifice can look like love, but still be conditional

⁠⁠⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠ 

About your host 

⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠

Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ 

⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠

I’m back with my co-host Jason Seeman! In this conversation we delve into the profound shifts in family dynamics and the dismantling of the myth of 50-50 sharing. I share a personal moment about how I struggled with the idea of giving up my financial independence and learned to embrace the interconnectedness with my partner. Jason shares a touching moment about how he navigated the early days of fatherhood during the COVID lockdowns. He describes the unique experience of working from home while wearing his baby, which allowed him to be present for his child's early milestones. This experience highlighted the importance of flexibility and adaptability in parenting, reinforcing the theme of interconnectedness within the family.

In this episode:

• Challenging the 50-50 mindset: moving towards interdependence rather than equality
• Viewing family as an ecosystem: natural metaphors for adaptation and growth
• Cultural influences on parenthood, collectivism vs. individualism
• The importance of establishing systems and routines for family well-being
• Navigating postpartum with a focus on support, vulnerability, and shared caregiving
• Practical tools: the Fair Play method and values-based decision-making
• The significance of asking for help and communicating needs openly
• Reconciling personal values with family roles and responsibilities
• Embracing change and staying adaptable in family relationships

Together, we discuss how interconnectedness, flexibility, and shared values can transform parenthood into a more harmonious experience.

If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

About your hosts:

Jason Seeman is a fatherhood guide, educator, and facilitator with over a decade of experience creating and facilitating education programs that have impacted over one million people globally.

Raising Fathers is raising a new generation of grounded, connected, and present fathers.

⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow @raising_fathers on instagram here⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Head to the website⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Apply for the True North Fatherhood Prep program⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠

Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠

This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

Most women don’t realise how much of their birth experience has already been shaped—long before labour begins. In this episode, I explore the gap between what we’re told about birth and what actually determines how we experience it.

Drawing from my own two very different births—one deeply empowering, the other traumatic—I unpack the deeper layers that are often missing from birth preparation.

We talk about:

• why most birth education starts too late
• how caregiver bias influences the care you receive
• the power dynamics built into modern maternity systems
• how birth moved from communities into institutions—and what that changed
• why your body’s sense of safety plays a central role in how labour unfolds

This isn’t about telling you what kind of birth to have. It’s about understanding the context you’re making decisions within—so you can actually think for yourself.

Because birth doesn’t just happen in a moment.

It shapes how you enter motherhood, how you relate to your body, and how safe you feel in one of the most vulnerable transitions of your life.

If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

About your host 

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠

Losing ourselves is often painted as a tragedy of parenthood — but what if it’s actually the secret to becoming more whole? In this powerful episode of Growing Together, Jason & I uncover how the inevitable process of self-loss in parenthood can become a profound opportunity for growth, connection, and rediscovery.

Jason shares how becoming a father forced him to confront the paradox of losing himself while also finding a deeper, more authentic part of who he is. He reveals how moments of intense presence with his children have transformed his internal tension into pure joy. I reflect on my ongoing practice of discipline and mindfulness, highlighting that true presence doesn’t come effortlessly but requires active effort. I discuss how shedding your armour and embracing imperfection teaches our children resilience and authenticity, and how parenthood can be the ultimate mirror revealing our deepest truths.

In this episode:

• Discussing the paradox of losing oneself in parenthood while discovering a deeper, more authentic identity.
• Practical strategies for achieving presence, such as digital detoxes and mindful interactions with children.
• The transformation of internal tension into joy through simple, intentional moments with family.
• The importance of shedding past narratives about achievement and independence to embrace unconditional self-worth.
• How embracing imperfection and vulnerability can teach children resilience and authenticity.

If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

About your hosts:

Jason Seeman is a fatherhood guide, educator, and facilitator with over a decade of experience creating and facilitating education programs that have impacted over one million people globally.

Raising Fathers is raising a new generation of grounded, connected, and present fathers.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow @raising_fathers on instagram here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Head to the website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apply for the True North Fatherhood Prep program⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠⁠

This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

Most people overlook birth as the profound initiation it truly is. Jason Seeman's raw story reveals how witnessing his wife’s labor transformed his understanding of vulnerability, control, and emotional growth—lessons that echo through every aspect of parenthood.

In part 2 of Growing Together, Jason shares the unexpected journey of witnessing his partner go through intense labor, unearthing his own fears, control issues, and emotional blind spots along the way. He dives into how birth is a complex rite of passage, involving not just the baby, but the parents’ own transformations as well.

I share how my first physiological birth initiated me into reconnecting with my body and emotions. I describe how a pivotal moment in labour led me to understanding the importance of having birth support that trusted the birthing process. And looking back, how much I needed to learn to invite my husband into my vulnerability.

In this episode:

• How birth mirrors our emotional patterns and shapes our capacity for vulnerability
• The hidden initiations of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum often missed in modern culture
• Practical frameworks for re-framing birth as an empowering rite of passage
• The importance of emotional presence and surrender in supporting not only your partner but yourself
• Why choosing your environment, caregivers, and mindset is a vital act of self-advocacy and agency

This isn’t just a story about birth; it’s a blueprint for navigating the inevitable challenges of parenthood with resilience, awareness, and radical honesty. Whether you’re new to childbirth or reflecting on past experiences, our vulnerable reflections will inspire you to see every phase of parenting as an opportunity for deep personal initiation and transformation.

⁠⁠If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

About your hosts:

Jason Seeman is a fatherhood guide, educator, and facilitator with over a decade of experience creating and facilitating education programs that have impacted over one million people globally.

Raising Fathers is raising a new generation of grounded, connected, and present fathers.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow @raising_fathers on instagram here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Head to the website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apply for the True North Fatherhood Prep program⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠⁠

This episode was produced by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Six-Two Studio

In this episode, I'm talking about how my Type-A personality, the traits that made me successful in my career, completely suffocated me in early motherhood.

I share where my Type-A tendencies come from and how they showed up with my daughter Ella's sleep. I tracked everything, read all the books, researched obsessively, and micromanaged my way through those early months. The more I tried to control, the more anxious and resentful I became. I was so focused on fixing the problem that I couldn't see what Ella really needed: for me to learn her cues, respect her rhythms, and trust her as the expert of her own needs.

This episode is about understanding that our children are not projects or problems to solve. Our anxieties are our own and they don't belong to them. The antidote to control isn't more control. It's learning to trust and rebuilding the safety within ourselves so we can believe things are going to be okay, even when things are uncertain.

If this episode moved you, begin here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Mother They Remember⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a guided reflection for women who are ready to meet the mother they are becoming, not just survive the one they've been handed.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

About your host 

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mandy Cai⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is the founder of The New School of Motherhood, a philosophy platform built on a single conviction: motherhood isn't where you lose yourself. It's where you find the truest, most powerful version of her. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Begin the guided reflection⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to her newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Follow on Rednote / 小红书⁠⁠

Connect on Instagram

Follow on Rednote / 小红书