The Next Level

Something that a lot of us men are missing out on is real authentic connection with other men. Like a lot of things that somehow find their way into my life, I didn't know it was something I needed until it found me.

My friend Billy introduced me to the work of Dr. Robert Glover and his book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. After diving into his work and having him on the show, I started attending a men's group with my friend Billy and about 8-10 other guys every other week.

One of the exercises we've done in the group is sharing a story, something we did, or something that happened to us that we haven't shared, or that we are ashamed of. I really underestimated the power of such a simple exercise.

In today's episode, I'll unpack what I'm starting to understand about shame and some things that are unfolding as a result of entering the darkness to find the light.

In this episode you'll learn

• Some ways that shame potentially gets passed on and creates a false identity
• How shame can only live in hiding
• Leaning into being uncomfortable
• Putting yourself into situations where you may have felt embarrassed in the past
• The surprising result of having a support system

Growing up an Irish boy in East London, Steve Sims was the son of a brick mason. This laid the foundation, yes... pun intended..., for his insane work ethic. Steve paints this amazingly vivid picture in his new book Bluefishing: The Art of Making Things Happen, where he saw his dad, uncles, and cousins. His entire family tree down the line of ladders. In that moment he realized that he would eventually be that next one on the ladder for the rest of his life. That night, he quit.

The second he was clear there was a different way to think, he took action.

Ever since Steve has been pulling off the unimaginable. He's been able to make his clients' wildest dreams come true, from a wedding at the Vatican, to being serenaded by Andrea Bocelli, to powerful business introductions to moguls like Elon Musk.

Steve Sims is is the visionary founder of Bluefish: the world's first luxury concierge company that delivers the highest level of personalized travel, transportation, and cutting-edge entertainment services to corporate executives, celebrities, professional athletes, and other discerning individuals interested in living life to its fullest. He has been invited to speak to MBA students at Harvard (twice), has spoken at the Pentagon, and has been featured in major media all around the world: From The Sunday Times and China Post, to The Wall Street Journal.

Today we'll dive into how Steve pulls the strings and the art of Bluefishing.

In this episode you'll learn

• How Steve built his luxury concierge service that delivers extravagant adventures to rich and famous clientele
• Why most people are scared to acknowledge or go after their deepest passions
• Strategies to develop and nurture your personal relationships
• How raw transparency will help others connect with your vision
• The power of using video messaging to spark excitement and connection
• How many of today's entrepreneurs are misallocating their time
• Why genuine engagement is more important than the size of your following

Any time we try to change something in our life, we find out how we REALLY handle change. We all have a very predictable way that we respond emotionally to the uncertainty that inevitably arises when we go about creating change. This emotional response is woven into the fabric of our current circumstance and when we can understand what that response looks like and make peace with the present, we can start to cultivate the emotions of our end goal and maintain the emotional terrain necessary for change.

In this episode you'll learn

• How to cultivate the set of emotions that you want to experience
• Why getting clear on what you want to experience instead will help you create peace with the present
• How to stay centered even when you feel triggered
• Tips for fueling your future and not the frustration of the present moment
• A set of questions to ask yourself about how you really want to feel
• How you always have a choice to choose something different
• Playing the game of to do's and to be's to get to where you want in life
• How to extract the lessons from life's situations
• A nightly practice to cultivate new actions and emotional states
• How you respond to change

Even after achieving financial success he felt something deeper calling. Using what he learned in that external journey, Nate applied his lessons of higher accountability and responsibility to developing communities and sharing his gifts with those around him.

Nate Lind, the youngest of six kids, is an entrepreneur, explorer and investor. He is the founder of Legendary Man an 8-figure e-commerce company, and one of the most popular men's grooming and lifestyle brands in the world.

His first taste of financial success came in his early twenties when he became proficient in the art of buying and flipping houses. When he saw the impending housing crash coming in 2007, he transitioned from flipper to Fortune 100 consultant, with projects at the world's largest financial institutions like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. By 2011 he was recruited to Bank of America as a Vice President.

Though he'd tasted wealth, married, started a family, he found a deep sense of emptiness in his own purpose outside of family. As he began looking for opportunities to fill that emptiness he discovered men's grooming products such as beard oil and a unique brotherhood like no other.

Nate introduced his first proprietary beard oil, product and watched every aspect of his life start to improve. Nate's most recent project is a culmination of his community building, events and e-commerce experience – the launch of Legendary Man. Legendary Man inspires men to discover their inner hero and to create community through adventure.

In this episode you'll learn

• The power of authentically connecting as men and why it's become a lost art in the world today
• Nate's modern-day definition of powerful and positive masculinity
• Strategies to overcome your internal and external limitations
• How to find support and encouragement by surrounding yourself with a band of brothers
• Learning to identify when the shadow side of your masculine characteristics may arise
• How to become an authentic leader and build a community around your mission
• The power of giving and providing value before asking for something in return
• Why the caregiving aspect of masculinity is commonly overlooked
• and MORE…

There are countless ways to manage overwhelm, and I've found these three things consistently over time put everything else in place.

1. Having a keen awareness when it hits
2. Eliminating distraction and guarding your time
3. Creating blocks of time for focused work

A funny thing that happens when we are overwhelmed, especially when it's something that we don't necessarily want to deal with, is that we'll procrastinate. The number one way this shows up is increasing distractions.

Try out these 3 simple things and let me know how it goes.

In this episode you'll learn

• How to focus on what you can do and eliminate anything that will take you off course
• Why getting into deep focused work is so rewarding
• Ways we prevent ourselves from taking action
• What the message is behind overwhelm and anxiety
• How to guard your time and set your priorities
• Parkinson's Law - work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion - and how to effectively block time

As the professional landscape continues to change, now more than ever, it's becoming increasingly important to understand your core gifts and what makes you uniquely YOU.

Steve Olsher is known as the world's foremost reinvention expert. Famous for helping individuals and corporations become exceptionally clear on their WHAT—that is, the ONE thing they were created to do—his practical, no-holds-barred approach to life and business propels his clients and presentation attendees toward achieving massive profitability while cultivating lives of purpose, conviction and contribution. He is the New York Times bestselling author of What Is Your What? Discover The ONE Amazing Thing You Were Born To Do, international keynote speaker, Chairman & Co-Founder of Liquor.com, and in-demand media guest who has appeared on CNN, Fox Business and other national outlets.

Today we dive into Steve's book What is Your What? and how to find out what you were born to do.

In this episode you'll learn

• How to start uncovering your purpose and bringing your core gift to light
• Why waiting for future events or conditions to make you happy will keep you from living in the present moment
• How to move off the wanderer's path and awaken the search for your deeper what
• Why comparing yourself to others on social media can create unrealistic expectations for your happiness
• How to let go of preconceived notions and open up to new experiences
• Why your core gift stays the same, but the 1 thing you're meant to do may change over time
• How to find deeper fulfillment by sharing your gift with others
• Why putting too much pressure on yourself to figure out your purpose can be harmful
• and MORE…

When I got very clear on how I wanted to feel and acting and creating from that place, things got a lot more fulfilling.

Now, please hear me on this one. I'm definitely not saying I've got this perfect, that's why it's called a practice :) BUT when I can continually nudge myself in the direction of cultivating a heightened emotional state and bringing awareness to how I actually feel, shit gets a lot easier.

If you're yet to hear episode 100 where I review some of the major lessons learned from the first 100 episodes with my buddy Ian Ryan, be sure to check that out. In addition to my major lessons learned, I also talked about what I would have done differently and how I would have started these solo rounds a lot sooner. BUT... better late than never right :)

In this episode you'll learn

• How to take the mundane and make it feel more sacred
• My favorite strategy for taking your to do's and making them to be's and building spiritual capital
• Successfully mining the transition from one activity to another to create more meaning
• A simple practice for connecting with your deeper why
• How to weed out what's working and what's not based on your results
• Why visiting your outcome in your imagination can spark new ideas

For the full show notes visit https://jeffagostinelli.com/podcast/bonniekelly/

What does it mean to seek better than the norm, to truly live an extraordinary life? Our life experiences and the meaning we attach to them create who we are and shape our reality. Bonnie opens this beautifully by saying "what you believe is what you perceive." On our journey to becoming whole, addressing our deeply held beliefs about who we are is the springboard for true healing and creating the life you envision.

Bonnie Kelly teaches people how to de-weed their minds of underlying Negative Core Beliefs and cultivate a beautiful garden of emotional health and balance. As an author, personal development and emotional intelligence expert, motivational speaker and founder of Bonnie Kelly & Associates and MindFu Academy™, Bonnie has dedicated her life to helping others stop the cycle of self-sabotage. From her experiences as an abused child to her life on the streets as a teen to being in and out of jail and rehab, she has experienced life's lowest points firsthand. When she hit rock bottom, she became determined to change her life for the better. Now, she is supporting individuals, groups and businesses in understanding what it means to operate from a place of emotional clarity and wellness.

Corporate groups she has worked with include Genetech, Union Pacific, California Nurses Association, Solano County Probation Department, Benicia USD, Keller Williams and Brandman University. At the heart of Bonnie's work is her year long Emotional Resilience Training program, which helps people end patterns of unconscious self-sabotage and transform their lives for the better. Her new book is entitled, "True to Your Core: Uncovering the Subconscious Beliefs Wreaking Havoc in Your Life."

Today we dive into Bonnie's book, True to Your Core and unpack what it means to create an extraordinary life.

In this episode you'll learn

• How to let go of the old programming that leads to mental and emotional suffering
• Ways to "win the war of your worth" by turning down the critical inner voice
• Understanding how your emotional state impacts your decisions, actions, and the people around you
• Ways to unpack and rewire the subconscious beliefs that make you feel unworthy
• How to move forward and find a new path after losing your identity
• Why the muscles of self-development need to be trained on a regular basis
• Strategies to overcome procrastination and avoid self-sabotage
• How to make sure you don't settle for a less than extraordinary life
• and MORE…

For the full show notes visit http://jeffa.co/100

What a ride! After 100 episodes of the show I wanted to jump on and do something a little different. There have been a lot of lessons learned, things I would have done differently, and what the show is going to look like moving forward.

Today I'm joined by my good friend and host of The Fearless and Healthy Podcast, Ian Ryan, where he turns the tables and interviews me on my biggest lessons and insights from the first 100 episodes.

In this episode you'll learn

• Valuable lessons from the past 100 interviews with the world's top leaders
• How to condition your body and mind to better handle adversities throughout the day
• Ways you can avoid the surface-level fluff in the personal development space
• How to develop faith, trust in the process, and act on your inspirations and ideas
• Becoming brutally honest with yourself and doing the deeper work required for change
• Using appreciation to pull yourself out of an emotional rut
• Learning to embrace the "season of suck" when you decide to try something new
• Avoiding the mental roadblocks that keep you from going to your next level
• How to get clear on your priorities and develop a precise plan of action
• Finding your spiritual sobriety and releasing the constant need for stimulation
• and more...

For the full show notes visit http://jeffa.co/099

Every lineage has a different name for the part of yourself that can wreak havoc in your life. Christianity has the Devil and Demons, Vedic traditions have the concept of Maya, and my guest today believes it's time for a new definition for the reactive attached mind. In his new book, Sh#t Your Ego Says, James McCrae takes us on our journey through the pivotal times in his life where he overcame being his own worst enemy.

Dubbed by The Huffington Post as "…the Eckhart Tolle of the Internet Generation," James McCrae is the author of Sh#t Your Ego Says and an award-winning strategist and writer at the intersection of creativity and mindfulness. He works with people and organizations around the world to unlock creative potential and turn imagination into results. An avid supporter of basketball, burritos, and yoga, James lives in New York City.

Today we are going to dive into James book Sh#t Your Ego Says: Strategies to Overthrow Your Ego and Become the Hero of Your Story.

In this episode you'll learn

• How a mindfulness practice can help recenter and refocus your life
• When you should view fear as an indication of your deeper calling
• How to start living your purpose now instead of waiting for conditions to be perfect
• Releasing the need for outside approval and becoming more comfortable in your own skin
• How to separate yourself from incessant thoughts and become the observer of your own mind
• The power and strength you can find when working towards your higher purpose
• Developing the courage to trust and act on your intuition
• and MORE…