The Next Level

Something that has been making it's way into my awareness A LOT lately is the difference between familiarity and comfort.

The language we use to describe thoughts and emotions is massively powerful and can create a mental and emotional state of stop or go.

In the personal development space there is a lot of talk about the comfort zone and how we need to step out of our comfort zone where all the magic happen. I had Andy Molinsky on the show back at episode 85 to talk about his book Reach, which is a very well written book on how to strategically step outside your comfort zone. The strategies he outlines are fantastic and very useful, and what I dive into today is how our comfort zone is anything but comfortable. Let's call it a bit of a meta concept if you will.

The objective of getting out of your comfort zone is to achieve your goals, create change, and experience results that you want.

Clearly we have to take new actions to experience a different result, but the analogy of the comfort zone didn't do it for me. It was almost as if I was just trading one frazzled state for another. When I thought about this deeper, it made more sense... it doesn't seem like a worth while trade.

After being with it for a little while I started to see the distinction more clearly. What I was calling my comfort zone wasn't comfortable at all. It was actually creating a lot of collateral damage and unnecessary pain. It wasn't that it was comfortable, it was just familiar.

One of the biggest distinctions that helped me "get out of my comfort zone" was beginning to approach it with curiosity and through the lens of exploring the unfamiliar.

After you tune in to today's show, come over to the show notes and let me know what you think in the comments below.

http://jeffa.co/118

The things that we've ashamed of or have strong feelings about, whether it's addiction or something that may have happened to us, aren't dark in and of themselves. As Shakespeare once said... "Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so."

Anna David is the New York Times-bestselling author of two novels and four non-fiction books about addiction, recovery and relationships. She's been published in The New York Times, Time, The LA Times, Vanity Fair, Playboy, Vice and Women's Health, among many others, written about in numerous publications including Forbes, Martha Stewart Living, Entrepreneur, Allure and Women's Health and has appeared repeatedly on The Today Show, Hannity, Attack of the Show, Dr. Drew, Red Eye, The Talk and numerous other programs on Fox News, NBC, CBS, MTV, VH1 and E.

She created and hosts the Recover Girl podcast and the recovery storytelling show Hammer(ed) Time and speaks at colleges across the country about relationships, addiction and recovery. Through her company, Light Hustler, she helps creatives share their dark to find their light—through coaching, writing, workshops and more.

Today we're going to dive into what Light Hustler is all about and find out if you are ready to share your story.

In this episode you'll learn

• How you can begin to find your light by sharing more of the darkness
• Learning to get comfortable with your emotions and stop running from feelings
• How modern society is removing the stigma and shame around addiction
• Why sharing the darkest parts of your journey can help liberate yourself and others
• The different ways that sub-conscious fears can play out in your life
• How to know if you may be ready to share your story of hardship
• Learning to appreciate how your mindset impacts your physical health

In this episode, I share some of these insights, lessons learned and guiding principles with you in hope that it will give you context and meaning in the situations or challenges you find yourself in and how to look at 2018 through a new lens.

Here's a summary, and you can see the full outline at http://jeffa.co/116

These two overarching principles served as an anchor that locked the lessons in place.

#1 - Learn your lesson quickly and move on #2 - Finding your center - your home frequency

Here are my top 5 Lessons from 2017

#1 - The most powerful thing you can do is put yourself around people who are committed to change, knowing themselves more, and creating deeper meaning in their life.. #2 - If you don't focus on it, it ain't gonna change. #3 - Find out what works for you and honor YOUR process. #4 - Getting it out there is more important than getting it perfect. #5 - The light casts a shadow, don't be afraid of it.

Gay Hendricks has been a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and bodymind transformation for more than 45 years. After earning his Ph.D. from Stanford in 1974, Gay served as Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado for 21 years. He has written more than 40 books, including bestsellers such as Five Wishes, The Big Leap, Conscious Loving and the new Conscious Loving Ever After, the last two co-authored with his co-author and mate for more than 35 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks.

He is also a mystery novelist, with a series of five books featuring the Tibetan-Buddhist private detective, Tenzing Norbu. Most recently, he has launched a new mystery series featuring a Victorian-era London detective, Sir Errol Hyde. Gay has appeared on more than 500 radio and television shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 HOURS and others.

As we speak, Gay is actually working on the sequel for The Big Leap which will be out toward the end of 2018.

Today we are going to unpack the key aspects of The Big Leap and how we can create a better awareness for those times where we are upper limiting ourselves.

In this episode you'll learn

• Why fear can cause you to self-sabotage when you begin to feel too much happiness
• How you can start to develop more connection and intimacy in your relationships
• Strategies to increase your awareness and identify destructive thoughts and behaviors
• How to reinvent yourself for a future filled with abundance, joy, and love
• Why you should avoid things in your zone of incompetence and spend more time in your zone of genius
• How the body is keenly wired to let you know when you're out of harmony

A few episodes back I went into 3 Simple Things to Manage Overwhelm where I talked about some strategies I use to get past overwhelm by creating the space to get things done personally and professionally. In there I went into blocking time, eliminating distractions by putting your phone on airplane, and letting others know in your immediate environment what you need to have the type of environment you need for the task at hand.

At the root this is cultivating undivided attention and funneling your focus and pretty much everything you've got into what requires it in the moment

The amount of attention you can commit and hold by your mental and emotional focus can make all the difference in creating something with meaning and making memories with the people you love.

As you're heading into the new year, you can use this practice to really dive into the things at the top of your list and start the year strong.

In this episode you'll learn

• Some simple ways to communicate with your family what your need are
• How to hit the pause button and change gears
• Creating the space mentally and emotionally to give your full undivided attention to the task at hand
• Why being completely present is a gift to yourself and others
• A simple practice to begin giving your undivided attention on one thing today

The beauty industry, for men and women, has had a strong focus on the veneer. It's largely about acquiring and applying beauty as apposed to radiating beauty from the inside out.

There's no better example that I know of personally who radiates health and well-being as much as Nadine Artemis and when it comes to cream of the crop pure products Nadine has curated and formulate just that.

Nadine Artemis is the creator of Living Libations, an exquisite line of serums, elixirs, and essentials oils for those seeking the purest of the pure botanical health and beauty products on the planet. Living Libations natural beauty line that's won over devoted fans such as singer Alanis Morissette and actresses Carrie-Anne Moss, Shailene Woodley and Mandy Moore.

She is the author of Renegade Beauty: Reveal and Revive Your Natural Radiance and Holistic Dental Care: The Complete Guide to Healthy Teeth and Gums, a frequent commentator on health and beauty for media outlets, and her products have received rave reviews in the New York Times, the National Post, and the Hollywood Reporter.

Described by Alanis Morissette as "a true-sense visionary," Nadine has formulated a stunning collection of rare and special botanical compounds. Her healing creations, along with her concept of Renegade Beauty, encourages effortlessness and inspires people to rethink conventional notions of beauty and wellness.

Today we'll dive into some common beauty and self-care practices you can upgrade right away and dig into Nadine's new book, Renegade Beauty.

In this episode you'll learn

• The real damage people are doing to their bodies in the name of external beauty.
• What toxic chemicals may be hiding in the self-care products you use on a daily basis
• How lotions and potions are mutating and eliminating microbes that are essential for your skin health and immune system
• The importance of giving your home a makeover to clear out toxic products
• How to improve your health and boost your mood with the natural healing powers of essential oils
• The health benefits of spending time in nature and interacting with the elements
• Why certain products listed as natural may actually be misleading and unsafe

Around the holidays, we typically spend time with our friends and families.

Something that started to happen for me when I was upgrading my nutrition and digging into personal development was that going back home felt awkward. Not only that, but I would get judgemental and try to impose my newly found discoveries on my family and friends.

It can even feel like there is a mismatch going on. These people may remember you as a different person with different views and beliefs. This is super common in the personal development and transformational space.

Today I'm gonna unpack what this looks like and how to navigate these situations. It's been a solid 10+ years since I've started down the path of lifestyle and consciousness shifts, so I feel fairly competent in these situations and confidently expressing myself without getting pulled into anyone's B.S.

So naturally, I thought this would be useful for you to navigate the holiday festivities.

In this episode you'll learn

• How the right and wrong of things can lead to harboring feelings and resentment
• The magic of allowing someone the freedom of their own experience
• The art of honoring each others differences
• How a personal transformation or any big shift can naturally make you want to share it with others, but being able to discern the best timing
• Why it's important for people to be ask for help and be in a place of receiving
• How to navigated what might turn out as a heated debate around the holidays
• Gauging when you are being sucked into other people stuff

Today I invited Dorie Clark to come back on the show to talk about her new book, Entrepreneurial You: Monetize Your Expertise, Create Multiple Income Streams, and Thrive. Dorie was on the show back at episode 037 (The Art of Reinvention and Standing Out in A Crowded Marketplace) where we dug into her book Stand Out and really got deep into how to coach your inner critic.

Dorie Clark is an adjunct professor at Duke University's Fuqua School of Business and the author of Entrepreneurial You, Reinventing You and Stand Out, which was named the #1 Leadership Book of 2015 by Inc. magazine. A former presidential campaign spokeswoman, the New York Times described her as an "expert at self-reinvention and helping others make changes in their lives."

A frequent contributor to the Harvard Business Review, she consults and speaks for clients including Google, Microsoft, and the World Bank. She is also a producer of a multiple Grammy-award-winning jazz album.

In Entrepreneurial You, Dorie outlines a blueprint for professional independence and creating what she calls a portfolio career.

There are countless people who are really good, heck... even GREAT at what they do, but are yet to actually turn that into a lucrative income. Something I've had to grow up and realize and what Dorie so perfectly states is how:

"Learning to make money from your expertise is a different skill set from what's needed to become excellent at your work or well known in your field."

We are going to unpack Dorie's book Entrepreneurial You and start to chip away at what the income path for independent professionals actually looks like.

In the year Dorie spent writing Entrepreneurial You her income grew by more than $200,000 as a direct result of using the techniques in this book.

Everyone is at a different place in their professional journey. So this isn't to say you'll see those EXACT results, and there's power in seeing what's possible.

In this episode you'll learn

• Key strategies for building a sustainable business in today's digital world
• The proven lead magnets and opt-ins Dorie uses when launching her books and courses
• How to develop a clear content strategy to share your idea, passion, or business online
• The critical pieces needed to grow a highly engaged online community
• How to leverage your content to create multiple streams of income
• The power of guest blogging and sharing your content through established publications
• How to develop a trusting relationship with your audience

In a society where we place a high value on the intellect, it can be a tough to drop into how we really feel about making choices in our life.

I've personally found it extremely valuable to be able to tap into a deeper intelligence to navigate life's choices and be able to draw upon the feeling of a decision.

In a recent coaching session with a client we came up with a great analogy that helped her clear the mental clutter and drop into a deeper more resourceful place to make the choice she was up against.

In today's episode I'll unpack what that looks like and how to move from a more frenetic whack-a-mole state to a place of yummy tummy. I know that sounds a little strange, but you'll hear all about it in today's show.

In this episode you'll learn

• How to move from mental noise to a place of deeper knowing
• A strategy for cultivating child like curiosity
• Another way to make choices based on feeling
• How to start passing options through each state... whack-a-mole and yummy tummy

Tim Larkin is a former military intelligence officer with a 25 year career where he has trained people in 52 countries in how to deal with imminent violence. Over 10,000 clients are trained in his Target Focus Training (TFT) from Military Special Operations Units, Special Law Enforcement Teams, Celebrities and high profile business leaders on how to use physics and physiology to injure any human(s) trying to attack them. TFT is the original Reality Based Fighting System.

His numerous magazine covers and articles in the Martial Arts and self-defense industry are as controversial as his "pro-victim advocate" position on self-protection. He is a highly sought after speaker as well as the media's "go to guy" on Self Defense and Victim's rights.

Today we'll unpack Tim's new book, When Violence Is the Answer: Learning How to Do What It Takes When Your Life Is at Stake, and get to know the ins and outs of this topic that most people don't want to think about.

In this episode you'll learn

• Why it doesn't make you a bad person to learn the tools of violence for self-protection
• How to pick up on social cues to know when you may be in real danger
• The key differences between fighting, martial arts, and self-protection protocols
• How to know when it's an appropriate time to use violence
• Learning to identify and exploit the weakness of an attacker
• Strategies to maintain emotional composure under fear
• How to make better decisions to minimize the chance of encountering violence
• Why the brain should always be used as your primary weapon