Embracing the Unknown
A Conversation with Sue Jay Johnson and Joe Richman
(Season 3 | Episode 248)
Welcome back, beautiful listeners, to another reflection from the host’s chair of The Open Nesters Podcast. As Amir and I wrap up this incredible season, we had the absolute privilege of welcoming back two of our favorite returning guests, Sue Jaye Johnson and Joe Richman.
Since we last spoke with them a couple of years ago, they have fully transitioned into this vibrant, sometimes chaotic chapter we affectionately call “open nesting.” Sitting down with them felt like catching up with old friends who have just returned from a profound expedition, brimming with wisdom about relationships, sexuality, and the spiritual journey of aging.
OPEN NEST VS EMPTY NEST
RELATIONSHIP TRIPPING FOR COUPLES
INTIMACY AFTER KIDS LEAVE
RADICAL TRUST IN PARENTING
SPIRITUAL GROWTH IN MARRIAGE
Joe and Jaye work with groups/couples in which they see inside each other’s relationships. You can learn more here: Relationship Tripping. And you can hear our first interview with these two remarkable people in our first interview – Rituals, Adventure and Relationships.
The Pleasure Report
THE PLEASURE REPORT, created by writer, journalist, and filmmaker Sue Jaye Johnson, is a publication and community dedicated to investigating our relationship to pleasure. We are defining pleasure in an infinitely broad sense. We interrogate our pleasure in grief, in rage, in pain, in culture, in politics, and in our longing for a better world. Each month we have a theme.
We can experience pleasure passively, or, we can MAKE our pleasure.
Together, we will explore the tenants of pleasure: attention, awareness, sensation, and acceptance. You will learn tools, be exposed to new ways of thinking, and being in your body, in this world. We are an engaged community of pleasure researchers. I invite you to join us.
Subscribe to the Pleasure Report
The Grief and Grace of Letting Go
Transitioning away from full-time parenthood isn’t just about reclaiming your living room or enjoying a quieter house; it is a profound and often jarring emotional shift. Sue was incredibly candid about her own experience, describing the departure of her kids as a deeply moving process that she intentionally leaned into during an artist residency on Cape Cod. Letting go of the daily caretaking role requires us to face our own identities outside of being “Mom” or “Dad,” which can be utterly terrifying if we don’t hold space for the transition.
“It’s a little mini death, you know? It’s like a death of an era… I wanted to just feel all the feelings of it. Because I knew if I didn’t, it would come out sideways.” – Sue Jaye Johnson
Practicing Radical Trust
One of the most challenging aspects of this new chapter is stepping back from fixing our children’s problems, a hurdle Sue and Joe tackled through an intentional practice of radical trust. They committed to trusting their younger daughter’s decisions completely for two months, consciously stopping themselves from jumping in with solutions or unprompted advice as she navigated her gap year. This wasn’t a passive withdrawal, but an active, disciplined choice to let their child fall, fail, and ultimately succeed on her own terms. It is a powerful reminder that our ultimate job is to raise capable adults, and at a certain point, our constant intervention actually hinders their magnificent growth.
Fierce Independence and Deep Connection
What truly struck me during our conversation was how beautifully Sue Jaye and Joe balance their deep, intentional connection with a fierce sense of personal independence. They aren’t afraid to travel separately—Joe taking solo trips to explore, and Sue Jaye embarking on adventures with her girlfriends—recognizing that time apart only enriches the energy they bring back to their shared New York City apartment. This level of autonomy requires a rock-solid foundation of security and a mutual understanding that personal growth doesn’t threaten the relationship; it actively feeds it.
Relationship Tripping and the Love Lab
Joe and Jaye aren’t just navigating this territory quietly; they are actively building tools and communities for others through their initiatives like Relationship Tripping and the Love Lab. They shared incredible insights from their six-week programs, where they guide couples through the universal stumbling blocks of long-term intimacy by turning the relationship itself into a vehicle for exploration. Their approach provides a structured yet expansive way to communicate without triggering old defenses.
The Mirror: Recognizing that your partner reflects your own inner landscape.
The Teacher: Viewing conflicts and triggers as essential lessons for personal growth.
Fear and Desire Practices: Creating a safe container with a timer to voice deep-seated needs without interruption.
Looking Ahead to the Next Adventure
This episode was a beautiful, raw reminder that our roles as parents don’t vanish; they just evolve into something requiring less management and more observation. Amir and I are so deeply grateful to Sue and Joe for bringing their authentic selves to the studio and breaking the conventional paradigms of aging and partnership. For anyone feeling the sting of the changing seasons in their own home, I highly encourage you to listen to this episode, check out their upcoming book, and explore their adventurous new dating events in Manhattan. The nest isn’t empty, my friends—it’s just finally wide open.
Resources for You
We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:
Open Nesters Resource Page
The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group
About Tessa
Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.
Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.
Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature. If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.
Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:
What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…
Adventure Freedom of Expression Exploration and Fun Body Movement New circles of friends Deep love relationships