The Open Nesters

[Tessa] In this episode of The Open Nesters Podcast, we hear from Jenn and Gordon as they share their journey from swinging lifestyles to polyamory. They discuss the importance of communication, honesty, and setting boundaries as they navigate blended families and transition into an open relationship. Jenn and Gordon highlight the growth in their relationship, self-discovery, and the support of a community. Hosts Amir and Tessa reflect on the significance of communication and community in unconventional relationships, offering resources for those exploring different relationship dynamics.

Gordon & Jenn talk about their background, navigating blended families, and transitioning into an open relationship as they became empty nesters. They discuss the importance of communication, honesty, and setting boundaries to maintain a strong connection and trust within their relationship. Jen and Gordon share insights on discovering new aspects of themselves sexually, growth in their relationship, and the significance of having a supportive community. They emphasize the need for continuous effort, understanding, and being open-minded in exploring different relationship dynamics.

To sum up, Amir and I reflect on the guests’ openness, vulnerability, and the importance of communication and community in unconventional relationships.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

About Tessa

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

Adventure

[Tessa] Welcome to The Open Nesters Podcast! In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Karen Berry, an experienced marriage and sex therapist with a soulful, spiritual approach that resonates with us as Open Nesters. We kick off our Love, Sex, and Intimacy series for February by diving into the importance of intimacy and how it can be expanded in partnerships.

Dr. Berry highlights the complexity and acquired taste of intimacy, emphasizing the connection between grief, loss, and the capacity for an erotic life. We explore the concept of building the architecture of a sacred container in relationships, emphasizing the importance of slowing down and honoring the unique dynamics of each partnership or group.

The main focus of the conversation is on the significance of slowing down in building intimacy and connection. As Open Nesters, we share personal insights from our own experiences, discussing the challenges of slowing down in conversations and how it can lead to frustration and miscommunication. We emphasize the need to prioritize spending enough time with our partners to truly understand their needs and desires.

Dr. Berry provides valuable strategies and recommendations for fostering vulnerability and intimacy in relationships. We delve into the importance of becoming embodied and finding a soft center before engaging in conversations with our partners. Slowing down allows for better outcomes, even in difficult topics or conversations that may spark anger or fear. We talk about the role of anger as a natural response when we’re scared and how it impacts our ability to truly connect.

Throughout the conversation, Dr. Berry recommends accessible resources, such as books by Stan Tatkin, that delve deeper into deepening relationships and embracing the grieving process. We also discuss the significance of maintaining quality time together and the power of reconnecting through shared experiences and positive emotions.

We also touch on the challenges of meeting expectations in relationships, particularly in polyamory, acknowledging that every couple is unique and demands compassion and understanding. Slowing down and being vulnerable can lead to surprising discoveries and deeper connections.

Amir and I end the episode with gratitude for our growing community and invite listeners to explore past episodes on love and sex, as well as to subscribe to the podcast. And we encourage you to get excited about upcoming episodes in February, which promise to bring more fascinating and alternative topics on love and sex.

0:05:10 Intimacy: Beyond Pleasure and Complexity of Connection

I received my Ph.D. from Hofstra University and my NYS license as a Psychologist in 1990. I received ASSECT certification as a sex therapist in 2007.

Early on, in my personal search for relief, I found that “talk” therapy was insufficient and depleted my well-being.  Then I found Rubenfeld Synergy, a method that combined Gestalt Therapy, Feldenkrais, bodywork, psychodrama and spirituality.  It really worked!  Relief plus deep healing! This became my North Star.

I trained with Ilana Rubenfeld and her colleague Dr. Seena Russell.  Later, Seena and I collaborated to develop a training center called Return To Self.

In that post doctoral time, Dr. David Schnarch ignited a passion in me that led to me training with him for over 10 years.  His work, The Sexual Crucible, combined sex therapy, differentiation, couple therapy and systemic therapy.

After 9/11, fire fighters and their families found me and inspired me to delve more deeply into understanding brain science, trauma, and the necessity of practical skills. Dr. Michael Yapko became my mentor, training me to utilize short term strategic therapy and hypnosis to treat depression and anxiety effectively and efficiently.

I found Dr. Stan Tatkin and PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) because I was still looking to optimize my work with couples for practical outcomes. Stan’s work is based in the body and science, and most importantly it works!  I was a member of his core faculty,  training clinicians in PACT. I then applied this methodology to working with CEOs, founders and family business leaders with great success.

I’ve delved deeply into both science and embodied wisdom traditions. Margo Anand mentored me in Tantric sexuality and trained me to train others. In addition, yoga, meditation, ecstatic dance, authentic movement, Gabrielle Roth’s 5 Rhythms practice, breathwork, drumming and trance dance keep me enlivened.

I view the world through embodiment practices, differentiation and relational science. These cornerstones of my worldview inform all that I do professionally and personally.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

About Tessa

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

Adventure

[Tessa] I have known of Rabbi Benjamin Shalva for over a decade. I can think back to when my kids were all at home and even then his words connected with me.

I read his book, Spiritual Cross Training: Searching Through Silence, Stretch, and Song, and was greatly inspired. Equally wonderful is his book, Ambition Addiction: How to Go Slow, Give Thanks, and Discover Joy Within.

Benjamin Shalva’s poetry and prose have appeared in Image, Peauxdunque Review, Ponder Review, Spirituality & Health Magazine, and The Washington Post. He is the author of two books of nonfiction, Spiritual Cross-Training and Ambition Addiction, both published by Grand Harbor Press. A hospice chaplain, he lives in Baltimore, Maryland with his wife, two children, and two hound dogs.

On a quest for enlightenment, Benjamin Shalva journeyed through the wilds of Tibet and took a pilgrimage to a white-walled monastery in Rhode Island. He wrestled with demons, danced with temptresses, and sang with hundreds of voices under the stars. Now, using the lessons and techniques gained through years of religious exploration and inward reflection, Shalva offers simple and powerful ways to connect with your spiritual self, whether it be in a place of worship or the yoga studio, or even while sitting in traffic, working late at the office, or kneeling in your garden.

Ambition is a blessing. It is a key motivator driving people to achieve their hopes and dreams. But for many, accomplishment is never enough. In a culture obsessed with fame and celebrity, the burning desire for acclaim, conquest, and domination can be overwhelming—to the detriment of one’s personal life. This is ambition addiction: the all-encompassing yearning for success at any cost.

Self-described ambition addict Benjamin Shalva (Spiritual Cross-Training) has written an insightful and illuminating book for anyone who wants to control that destructive strain of ambition and live with integrity. He identifies the signs and symptoms of ambition addiction and profiles iconic achievers to help readers identify unhealthy motivations. Then he reveals the five steps to living a fulfilling life of healthy, productive ambition in which grand but elusive fantasies give way to the true happiness of the here and now.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

About Tessa

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

Adventure

[Tessa] Something particularly special for you… and SO early in the year!

Kelvin, Andrea, and Dede have a lot to say about their own very touching stories. They are ‘open books’ about their alcoholic and addicted pasts, and we can learn quite a bit from their lives. The Open Nesters Podcast presents a panel discussion on sobriety (drugs and alcohol). Our panelists are intimately informed on this topic. On the panel we have:

Kelvin Young is an award-winning sound healer and co-founder of Soul Care Love, LLC. He has been sober from alcohol and other drugs since March, 6th 2009. Kelvin received his recovery coaching training at CT Community for Addiction Recovery (CCAR) and his Recovery Support Specialist (RSS) certification at Recovery University in 2011. The first time Kelvin was exposed to sound healing, he discovered the sounds of the crystal and Tibetan singing bowls and gongs calmed his mind, relaxed his body and nourished his soul. He went on to study sound healing with Master Sound Healers, Zacciah Blackburn of The Center of Light, Paul Hubbert of the Holographic Sound and Inner Balance and Satya Brat Jaiswal of the International Academy of Sound Healing.

I am Andrea Cashman, teacher of Yoga, Meditation, Let Your Yoga Dance; spiritual seeker, mother, wife….

Human being seeking purpose and opportunity to serve. Movement and breath bring me into my body, stillness brings be to my soul.  It is my privilege to offer these gifts through group and individual classes on Zoom and in-person.

Please join me on this healing journey, here is the schedule for current classes or contact me to book a private or small group session at your convenience.

In this episode, DeDe (M.A., M.S. and LADC) describes how much dry January affected the social interactions of her friends in Minnesota after she had stopped drinking alcohol. Dede has an event upcoming – you can learn about it from the QR code below.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

About Tessa

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower,    it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

Adventure

Season IV | The Open Nesters Podcast

AND… WE LAUNCH!

(Season 4 | Episode 150)

[Tessa] Amir and I discuss the many themes we have covered across our first three seasons. What we like. Candid conversations. How discussions about grief can be invigorating. How these 75 hours of programming have affected our relationship.

And we announce that we are going to a bi-monthly broadcast schedule. We’re so glad you are along for the ride. It’s season IV and we are thrilled to be with you again for another year.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

About Tessa

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower,    it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

Adventure

Dry January in the Empty Nest

A Panel Discussion

(Season 3 | Episode 149)

[Tessa] Do you observe a dry January? Do you need (!) a dry January?

The Open Nesters Podcast presents a panel discussion on sobriety (drugs and alcohol). And the panelists are intimately informed on this topic. On the panel we have:

Kelvin Young is an award-winning sound healer and co-founder of Soul Care Love, LLC. He has been sober from alcohol and other drugs since March, 6th 2009. Kelvin received his recovery coaching training at CT Community for Addiction Recovery (CCAR) and his Recovery Support Specialist (RSS) certification at Recovery University in 2011. The first time Kelvin was exposed to sound healing, he discovered the sounds of the crystal and Tibetan singing bowls and gongs calmed his mind, relaxed his body and nourished his soul. He went on to study sound healing with Master Sound Healers, Zacciah Blackburn of The Center of Light, Paul Hubbert of the Holographic Sound and Inner Balance and Satya Brat Jaiswal of the International Academy of Sound Healing.

I am Andrea Cashman, teacher of Yoga, Meditation, Let Your Yoga Dance; spiritual seeker, mother, wife….

Human being seeking purpose and opportunity to serve. Movement and breath bring me into my body, stillness brings be to my soul.  It is my privilege to offer these gifts through group and individual classes on Zoom and in-person.

Please join me on this healing journey, here is the schedule for current classes or contact me to book a private or small group session at your convenience.

In this episode, DeDe (M.A., M.S. and LADC) describes how much dry January affected the social interactions of her friends in Minnesota after she had stopped drinking alcohol. Dede has an event upcoming – you can learn about it from the QR code below.

Resources for You

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

About Tessa

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower,    it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

Adventure

[Tessa] Empty The gift of space. Room to grow. Room to play.

We talk about giving each other space in this short episode. Part 2 of our intimate episode about trust and generosity. And in reviewing our conversation I can see that we interpret the word generosity in a novel way. The generosity of time and space. Giving your partner the freedom to explore what excites them. Not getting in the way. Encouraging life experiences that might very well not involve your own participation.

We are stumbling through life like the next couple. But we have carved out opportunities for each other… that makes us a better team.

Would love to hear your feedback – jump on our social media and talk to us.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower,    it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

[Tessa] Empty Nest Generosity. Trust. Responsibilities. Big Words… and lots for Amir and me to discuss this week.

We refer a lot to what we learned in Season 3 | Episode 108 with Jessica Fern.

Jessica Fern is a polyamorous psychotherapist. Her ground-breaking new book, Polysecure, looks at how attachment theory shapes and plays out in non-monogamous relationships.

REFERENCED (for polysecure and simply the trust we discuss in this episode)

“Both monogamy and hierarchical polyamory utilize external structures to create a feeling of security in a relationship, but they don’t necessarily address the internal secure functioning of the relationship.” ~Jessica Fern

The HEART acronym depicts the specific ways you can create a safe haven and a secure base in your relationships:

H: Here (being here and present with me)

E: Expressed Delight

A: Attunement

R: Rituals & Routines

T: Turning Towards after Conflict

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower,    it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

[Tessa] You know that sense of wonder you have when you read an exhaustive and brilliant piece in The New Yorker? Or maybe when the New York Times just delivers something eye-popping on The Daily Podcast or in the Sunday Edition of the paper? Or how impressed you are sometimes when you hear Anna Sale or Ira Glass or the Radiolab guys blow your mind?

Well – get ready. You’re going to feel that when you listen to Sue Jaye and Joe talk about relationships. The concepts. The words. They are really ‘playing in another league.’

In today’s episode Amir and I have the pleasure of chatting with these two on topics like:

Joe and Jaye work with groups/couples in which they see inside each other’s relationships. You can learn more here: Relationship Tripping. And you can hear our first interview with these two remarkable people in our first interview – Rituals, Adventure and Relatioships.

THE PLEASURE REPORT, created by writer, journalist, and filmmaker Sue Jaye Johnson, is a publication and community dedicated to investigating our relationship to pleasure. We are defining pleasure in an infinitely broad sense. We interrogate our pleasure in grief, in rage, in pain, in culture, in politics, and in our longing for a better world. Each month we have a theme.

We can experience pleasure passively, or, we can MAKE our pleasure.

Together, we will explore the tenants of pleasure: attention, awareness, sensation, and acceptance. You will learn tools, be exposed to new ways of thinking, and being in your body, in this world. We are an engaged community of pleasure researchers. I invite you to join us.

We want to provide you with support and many many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:

Open Nesters Resource Page

The Open Nesters Private Facebook Group

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature.  If she had one superpower,    it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…

[Tessa] WE LOVE PALLE BO!

Today we break a record. Palle Bo is the first three-time guest on our show. Well deserved!

Yes – our staff listens to Palle’s world-class podcast, The Radio Vagabond, each week. Amir and I love to travel and, even when we are state-side, we can travel along with Palle through his podcast. I guess we’re a bunch of vagabonds at The Open Nesters Podcast.

The Radio Vagabond

At the age of fifty, Palle Bo made a decision to change his life. As his daughters were grown up and moved out of the house, so did he. He sold his house, his car, and all his furniture and became a digital nomad, traveling full-time with a goal of visiting every UN Nation in the world and every state in the USA. The “Spaghetti Map” shows where he’s been in the first 7 years of the journey. This is really a remarkable story.

We discuss some of the places and people Palle encountered over the past year. In fact, these are not all vacation spots full of light and happy stories. Palle was able to observe what the Ukrainian war has done to the Polish people, as one example.

Palle is in constant communication with his children. The gadgetry of our age helps there. His relationship with his adult children (each who have their personal challenges) is as strong as ever.

Whatever we think of the leadership of a country like Saudi Arabia, the warmth and generosity of the people make a big impression on him on that visit.

UKRAINE SAFE TO VISIT? Updates from the War with Orest Zub

CLICK TO LISTEN

Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.

Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program, and journey facilitator & leader, author, and, of course, Podcaster.

Her offerings are based on her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature. If she had one superpower, it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open-hearted lives.

Please email Tessa to make a connection. And visit her page here on the Open Nesters Website. If you like, please answer the question:

What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…