Anna and Krista haven't been around lately, and they were hoping to get back on track. But things happen, and they sure as hell have this time.

Hap Anniversmas! Anna and Krista celebrate three years of shenanigans by hosting an anniversary afterparty that doubles as a "you're so fucked" afterparty for a certain Cheeto Man. They also demonstrate the term "f*ck around and find out" and review Bellini's opera I puritani, because they love those historically inaccurate operas.

You would think the story of King Arthur would warrant a great opera production, right? Well, Anna and Krista found a version of Henry Purcell's semi-opera that made no sense whatsoever. But that's after some very special dedications to a modern composer and two legends.

When Anna digs up an old Italian TV production of Turandot starring Franco Corelli, you know it's going to be good. The voice of Maestro Corelli will caress your ears and make you weep. Hey, they don't call him the Prince of Tenors for nothing! As a bonus, Krista gives her review of the Met's new production of Don Giovanni starring dad-looking baritone Peter Mattei.

Anna and Krista decided to watch the Benoit Jacquot production of Massenet's Werther (aka Farter) from 2016 to see how another tenor approached the role of the Emo King. The inevitable comparison to Jonas came about, as well as calling out Vittorio Grigolo for lack of emo yeeting. Along the way they discussed drag performers, LGBTQ+ rights, email sign offs and Sylvester Stallone's porn movie. It's Candy Mountain, Farter!

Do you want to be extremely emotionally wrecked? Anna and Krista point you toward Kevin Puts' The Hours, based on the novel and movie. From the libretto and music to the acting, it takes hold and doesn't let go till the end. And you thought Terrence Blanchard had that market cornered...

CONTENT WARNING: discussions of homophobia and sexual assault. Terrence Blanchard has done it (made Anna and Krista cry) again, this time with his first opera Champion. From the choreography to the gorgeous and heartbreaking performances by Eric Owens and Ryan Speedo Green, the opera was incredibly powerful and moving. The ladies give you their take on it and their thoughts, along with a lengthy discussion of inclusivity (or the lack thereof) in sports.

On the heels of Jonas Kaufmann's opening night in Naples as Siegmund, Anna and Krista review the 2019 staging of the production in which he got glowing reviews. Some things were good, some things were bad, and Wotan got labeled as a chronic masturbator. And the ending... well, let them tell you about that.

The Salzburg Easter Festival is over, but Krista was privileged to listen to a recording of Jonas in the title role of Wagner's Tannhäuser this past weekend on Austrian radio. Was he as bland as those first reviews claimed? What's with the feet in Act 2 and 3? Why did some weird schmutz monster maul Jonas in Act 2? And why is Krista's audio being a pain in the ass? (Everything except the last question will be answered)

Think of it as Slapnuts: The Early Years! Anna and Krista tackle Il re pastore (The Shepherd King), written by everyone's favorite poop king. While the music is great, the staging they saw was... well, let them tell you. They also dedicate the episode to Al Jaffee and drop some very happy news.