Sometimes in life when it comes to friends and so-called family, we have a difficult time saying no. Trust me when I tell you that as we age and if we are truly taking lessons as being learned, this becomes less of the case. Ive heard some people say that there are some old people who were idiots when they were young and grow to become older idiots. Although, this may be true the difference is that a youth has yet to reach the age of the elder, and in fact may not make it to that age, however the elder person has been given the opportunity to live long enough to learn a lesson. Whether they make use of that time is why many people may die lonely, old, sick, unfulfilled and broken-hearted. In the face of obstacles and adversity many who have proclaimed their strong faith, religious or spiritual belief, back down. I can clearly remember my mom, who worked as a housekeeper during her lifetime, coming home and without taking a breath go from cleaning the home of lawyers, doctors and rich white folk to putting on an apron and cooking for a 4-member family of five including herself. Because of this, I did not want to be married, have children or be tied down in any way and never knew until recently that this memory could be the reason. My mother was definitely a people pleaser and had a big heart, however, she did not mind expressing discontent with things. With all of that pressure to do this, do that. Serve the children, serve the man, and oh, and when did she have a moment to offer herself, self-service? When I hear the stories of women like the multi-award winning, actor Viola Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou, Dorothy Dandridge, Marilyn Monroe, Eleanor Roosevelt, and many other untold stories, that if we were to hear them in their authenticity it would make one weep. Learning to say no, even if you want to say yes, roll back to NO. When one has harmed you, you’ve moved on, you’ve healed and ready to forward to a brighter version of you, Roll back to NO. To protect sanity and peace of mind, the word no is the best remedy for pain and suffering caused by our own poor choices and in some cases, even poorer options. No and setting boundaries is a one healthy key to having peace and helping others to make use of their own peace. So why does it seem to be that women have such strength, resilience and have such strong faith, when the doo doo from the whomever comes flying right smack up in your face? Women naturally give birth, if that is their decision to do so of course, however because of this capacity it gives women a certain kind of inner synchronization that matches our natural karmic circumstances, which is to be born as women. I am just discovering my own roots of strength and fortitude. The parts of us that we never felt safe enough to share. What it is to be truly a woman, not the body, not the beauty but to have the soul of many women. Our mothers and grandmothers, our sisters, aunts and those who play mamas and aunties. To hold these courageous beings within the peripheral view of why we should learn how and certainly when we should say no. Those who have come and gone. The many who have given their breasts as placated nourishment to be divided amongst those who supposedly need it most or do they? Those who are a part of the global wellness center, and whether it be her home, or someone else’s, we are designed to do just that nurture and we lack the coldness in our hearts to say no and let us not forget about those who have been handed death as a result of the lack of or ability to firmly say no. Men may be the beam, but we give the beam the foundation it needs to remain firmly rooted to the ground. We also hold the gold medal for being the quickest to snap a finger, twist a neck and with no emotion except for the distinct anger in our voices, say NO. Learning to say no is the best way to get to the best part of saying yes. Image by OsirisMunir