The Other Half

Pinhead was upset we didn't have an opinion on the meme Pinocchio movie, so we had to watch Pinocchio: A True Story to be released from the cenobite's grasp. Unfortunately, we may just want to go back in because this is truly one of the worst movies. Even Pauly Shore and Jon Header can't save what is clearly a mess of the script. Also, they literally took out all the good parts of Pinocchio!! There's NO WHALE OR PLEASURE ISLAND?! Why even bother?

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Hellraiser: Judgement follows up on one of the worst movies we've seen for this podcast, Hellraiser: Revelations. It's the same writer from Revelations, but this time they spent more than 11 days making the movie. Can they actually turn it around?

Look we did it. We watched EVERY SINGLE Hellraiser movie in existence. We're officially super fans now. In fact, I got a little present to commemorate watching 10 whole movies back to back. I hope Mike likes it!

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Hellraiser: Revelations is not only one of the worst movies we've seen in the Hellraiser franchise but one of the worst movies we've ever seen for this podcast. This movie is devoid of all life. This movie is a strange remake of the first movie, but with all of the soul ripped out of it. The poster looks like Pinhead trying to squeeze one out! Even Doug Bradley didn't come back to play Pinhead and that guy will be in anything! But even a poster with Pinhead defecating was too much. It also centers around a sad angsty rich white kid which just makes me want to take a nap.

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Hellraiser: Hellworld is the movie we've been waiting for. It's the one where Hellraiser finally goes online. Unfortunately, old Pinhead wasn't surfing the web as much as we were hoping for. Instead, we a not very Hellraiser-like film that's still somehow a tribute to the Hellraiser series. Plus we got young Henry Cavil so you know it's a winner.

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Hellraiser: Deader, could this series get any better? We're at number 7 of the Hellraiser series and the boys are barely holding on by a thread. This can't get any worse than the last two movies, right? This movie follows a reporter named Amy who is tasked with investigating *deep breath* the cult known as the deaders. They can't die! Or are they already dead? I'm not sure we'll ever know.

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Hellraiser: Hellseeker may be one of the goofiest names in the entire series... until the next movie. This movie finally brings back Kirsty, our favorite character from Hellraiser II! Hopefully, nothing bad happens to her or her character. The boys may have bitten off more than they can chew in terms of Hellraiser movies. These are starting to get a little rough.

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Hellraiser: Inferno brings Hellraiser back to its roots, by keeping Pinhead as a little treat instead of the main course. Instead, they feed you a budget version of Seven. Directed by the same director as Sinister and Dr. Strange, Scott Derrickson, Hellraiser: Inferno doesn't quite feel like a Hellraiser movie. All of the pieces to a great movie are there, but unfortunately, it doesn't seem like anyone knows how to put them together.

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Hellraiser: Bloodline may in fact be the most ambitious horror movie we watched for the podcast or ever. It's time to learn about the puzzle box and how it was made in a story told across three different timelines. This movie even guest stars Adam Scott!

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We're now on to the third movie in the Hellraiser series and things are looking a bit grim. The noticeable dip in quality is now apparent and the makeup effects are worse, but budget isn't everything, right?

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It's time to watch till you can't with the Hellraiser series! We watched the first hellraiser this Halloween and loved it, but we also noticed there are a lot of movies after it as well! We have to watch them all or at least try to get to the one where hell is (apparently) on the internet. We start off with Hellraiser II, which is a direct sequel to the first movie featuring many of the same characters, but also a WILD DOCTOR who conducts lobotomies! Does it stack up to the first movie? Or does it begin a slow descent into lesser quality movies?

Springabites assemble!

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