My name is William Hardigan and I’m Donald J. Trump’s new biographer sharing a few voice memos from a secure closet in The West Wing. If you have ever wanted to be a fly on the wall in The Oval Office, well, you’ve found a podcast that’s the next closest thing. In this first episode, I tell you a little about myself, why the President demanded I be his biographer, and how I convinced the President’s staff to let me record voice memos from a small closet about 70 feet from the Oval. I give you a play-by-play from a recent tense meeting between Secretary of Commerce, Howard Lutnick, Trade Advisor, Peter Navarro, Elon Musk, and President Donald Trump. I explain why I bled all over the hallway carpet in the West Wing, and, why, when I first saw the President on my first day in the Oval Office he screamed “There’s my Boner.” Also, if it's not obvious, this is satire.